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Archive for the Whore Category

2009

20

Jul

Pam Anderson’s Boyfriend is Ashamed of the Hepatitis of the Day

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Pamela Anderson’s boyfriend has a funny story. You know when you were sitting around with your friends back in college and you were drinking before you went out to get laid, but not actually ever closing the deal, and you used to play “Would you rather?”, and one of the questions was along the lines of “Would you eat Pamela Anderson out when she was on her Period?” or “Would you rather lick her ass right after she took a shit?”, or “Would you rather fuck Pamela Anderson up the ass without a condom even if she was HIV Positive?” because you know she was the fuckin’ hot shit of the decade, the go to celebrity pussy to jerk off to, because she was hard nippled in a bathing suit on all our TVs late Saturday nights and had a sex tape and Playboy career.

Well Pamela Anderson’s boyfriend is living the “Would you rather”, sure it’s a decade and a half too late, but I guess no matter how grey and dead her pussy gets, she’s still Pam Anderson, and he was just some nobody construction worker, so when it came to would you rather be content having met a girl you used to fantasize your first wife looked like, or would you rather get Hep C from fucking her, he chose ther latter….and so would you.

But I guess he’s trying to hide his face so when she’s done with him, like she’s been done with so many men before him, he won’t have Hep C tattooed on his forehead scaring all the new pussy away….

Posted in:Hepatits|Pam Anderson|Shorts|Whore

2009

20

Jul

Simon Cowell Gets a 100,000,000 Dollar Lap Dance of the Day

2 Comments »

Guess what happens when you close a hundred million dollar deal with American Idol to add to your already insane level of success you have experienced the last 10 years…you get groupie gold diggin’ bitches who convince themselves that you are hot shit because they want a record deal and an exit strategy from their shitty broke ass lives and figure you look better than the billionaire Anna Nicole Smith prostituted herself to, because they’ve seen you on TV and they like that you’re an asshole with a horrible fake tan and that’s enough to make any pussy quiver with excitement the second they meet you in person, at least enough to give you a lap dance in the middle of a club because I guess all girls are wallet fuckin’ whores and if she fucks you the best she’s ever fucked, she thinks she won’t get voted off this week and will make it to LA. Get it, that was an American Idol joke. I’m pretty clever. Admit it.

Posted in:Groupie|Simon Cowell|Slut|Whore

2009

18

Jun

Ashley Tisdale Still Ugly Even When Advertising She’s a Whore of a Day

6 Comments »

Yep, even though Ashley Tisdale’s wearing some dominatrix lookin’ shoes and a little black dress, with her really tall boyfriend, who you’d think has a dick that tears her Disney pussy in half everytime she begs for the shit, and no matter how hard I try to visualize her doing really dirty things, or how hard I try to visualize her doing wholesome things, or how hard I try to visualize her doing standard in the bedroom things because she hasn’t had all that much experience considering she’s fuckin’ busted, and before her parents paid of the Disney producers to land her a job, or pay off the MTV awards to get her an award, or pay off the plastic surgeon to get her a fuckin’nose, she was just an ugly girl, and as far as I’m concerned she still is, cuz I guess you can’t buy beauty, but you can buy bareback blowjobs that end in mouth, or on face, or on tit from this whore who gives 100 dollar birthday specials. True story.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Whore

2009

09

Jun

Bridget Marquardt’s Stupid Whore Socks of the Day

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I go to stripclubs and there’s been this trend the last few years for the whores to wear these leg warmers and I don’t really understand why. It’s like every tacky bitch needs to keep half her calf covered so that she can still put on her stripper shoe. I’ve run it through my head a few times, trying to figure out what anyone would find hot about this shit, like is it for foot fetishists to cum on toes, because there’s no real functionality for this shit, you know socks are to cover your feet in your shoes, so that means it’s just a stripper trend, and stripper trends are even funnier a concept than half socks, you know because strippers are trash, unless that stripper trend is turning tricks with clients in the booth…..because lookin’ and partially touching doesn’t really satisfy needs, it just cockteases and that should be a fucking crime.

Good morning world. Let’s get this started.

Posted in:Bridget Marquart|Socks|Whore

2009

30

Apr

Sasha Grey for Rolling Stone of the Day

2 Comments »

You gotta hand it to Sasha Grey. She was the obscure Goth girl in her highschool, who took everything a little too seriously and who decided to embrace fucking on camera and pushing the fucking limits while she was 18 and people wanted to see it. It brought her to the top of her industry, getting paid more than any other pornstar per scene, leaving all the cheesy industry people cofused as to why, all while taking a seemingly educated approach to it all, in some kind of rationalizing why she’s a whore. So despite having bush and not really having the porn look, but pushing the fucking limits and keeping porn interesting to people desensitized or looking for the next level shit, people who aren’t me because I get turned off with her porn almost immediately. I know girls who hate porn who love her, guys who are gay who love her, people who don’t like seeing a girl take on 14 black dicks, but for some reason respect her work and think she’s put the art back into fucking on camera.

So that’s brought her to the mainstream, staring in some movie about escorts as the lead a stepping stone to take over the fuckin’ world and it all started with a dick in her mouth on camera.

So girls, when I ask you to do porn for the site, realize it is in your best interest.

On a side note, how the fuck does Rolling Stone get away with publishing pictures like this, while I get rejected by advertisers everyday for posting the same kinda shit. Hypocrisy….

Here she is at the premiere of the movie….

Posted in:Mainstream|Rolling Stone|Sasha Grey|Whore

2009

23

Apr

Linda Hogan is a Washed-Up of the Day

19 Comments »

I want to rape linda hogan, not because she’s hot, but to teach her a lesson for producing the garbage kids that managed to crawl out of that pussy. I guess it wouldn’t be anything this tranny lookin, overdone whore isn’t used to, I mean I hear before getting her pussy beat up by Hulk in the bedroom, she spent a lot of time as a street whore, I mean that’s the only real explanation I have for that haggard fucking face. I guess the biggest joke in all this is that her boyfriend is a 19 year old gay dude, because anal is the only sex she can still have, because no penis is quite big enough to touch her big ol’ vagina walls, and it doesn’t fuck with his homosexuality, because her pussy looks like a set of balls if you get her in the right position.

Posted in:Linda Hogan|Whore

2009

20

Apr

Shauna Sand Whores Out With Her Kids of the Day

1 Comment »

At least Shauna Sand doesn’t front that she’s not a whore. You gotta respect a bitch who dresses just as slutty in front of her kids and she does in the clubs, restaurants, grocery store, porn shoots, because it means she’s keeping it fucking real. There’s nothing more annoying than parking your car outside the stripclub at closing time because you can’t afford the cover charge to get in the place and the girls file out in their Juicy/Baby Phat sweat suits with fake Luis Vuiton bags filled with what I actually want to see them in and it’s safe to say that not once has a girl come out dressed like Shauna Sand. So maybe it’s time I start respecting her for giving me what I want when I am wasted and in the mood for trashy whores, even though it usually comes my way through pictures when I am sober.

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Whore

2009

17

Apr

Shauna Sand and Her Stupid Tits of the Day

16 Comments »

Shauna Sand did what she does proper and that’s dress like a whore, only she made it a little more interesting by doing it in lingerie and pretty much fully exposing her disgusting fake breasts, an outfit you’d expect to see on stage at a strip club, but she’s managed to bring out to everyday life, without getting arrested for indecency, proving that not only is she a whore, but she’s also a trendsetter, style icon and will go down in history for her taste in clothes. I am talking some Jackie O shit, but instead of being a first lady, this bitch is a whore. I love it and it feels like home. Speaking of home, I need to go get drunk now because it is the only time I feel normal…like Shauna Sand needs her plastic shoes, I need my booze.

Posted in:cleavage|Implants|Shauna Sand|Stripper|Whore

2009

13

Apr

Shauna Sand Gets Milkshakes in Whore Gear of the Day

3 Comments »

Shauna Sand has the ability to going out for ice cream with her kids look as classy as the bitch I saw throwing up on herself after sucking dick in the bathroom of a dive bar I was at last week. The funny thing is that strippers don’t even dress like this when they leave the stripclub after their shift, not even the streetwhores I met at a bar they go into warm-up at, I’m talking herpe faced, drug addicted, pieces of garbage whores who know their only worth is in their dirty used up cunts, dress like this when they aren’t out trying to get paid. I don’t really understand it, I don’t really like it, but I guess it’s better than all the boring mothers I see walking their kids to school in mom clothes, because the only thing hot about that is knowing they let guys cum inside their fat asses, and that’s not even that hot.

Either way, check out these tits, you can have a pair too, all you need is 5000 dollars.

Posted in:Milkshakes|Shauna Sand|Whore

2009

31

Mar

Holly Madison Dancing with the Stars Whore Dance of the Day

2 Comments »

My computer is running like fucking shit. I was going to say pure shit, but the idea of shit being anything but pure made me feel sick to my stomach, so while I sort this motherfucker out, here’s a little Holly Madison doing her bullshit Dancing With the Stars whore dance.

Posted in:Dance|Holly Madison|Whore