DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

07

Oct

Miley Cyrus Backyard Cleavage of the Day

Miley Cyrus is doing some MTV UNPLUGGED, I guess they’ve decided to bring back Unplugged, assuming it disappeared when MTV turned into a Reality Show Network and failed and adapting to the internet despite all their budgets and access to talent….but luckily, the iconic brand that still has money and access can jump back into the mix when they realize that things like Unplugged offer an exclusive listen to stars performing in their “rawest” form….I mean not that performing is Miley’s rawest from, her rawest form probably happens when she fills her vagina with whatever is laying around…

In this promo for MTV trying to make their comeback, you can see some Miley Tit, her silly mullet she doesn’t stop talking about and for whatever reason, is till think Miley is hot….I look at her and know that she’s not really that hot…plus I know what she sounds like…an old fucking stripper who used to suck off truck exhaust as part of her act…soothing and HPV ridden….but she’s still Miley being Miley…and this is a glimpse into that promo.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2020

07

Oct

Hailey Bieber in Tight Shorts of the Day

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Hailey Bieber is only funny because she couldn’t really hack it on her own. She was arguably as hot, if not hotter than the Jenners and Hadids she used to groupie on and basically stalk, their doormat to step on as they were trending “it-girls” and she wasn’t even their third tier back-up when brands didn’t want to spend the Jenner/Hadid price tag on the content…even though any of the deals she got was directly for that same reason…

So despite being a celebrity rich kid, yes, her dad’s career might be laughable, but dude got fucking paid heavy and is set for life even if half of it went up his nose before finding god…and altering his sperm’s integrity making this bootleg Jenner/Kardashian…

And despite having all the right friends and going to all the right parties….

This fake religious heathen who basically shits on Jesus with every tight short, pussy flash she does for the paparazzi, only exists, only matters, only gets VOGUE coverage, or any coverage…because she married a celebrity…and is the celebrity life..

So think of that when girls say they don’t need a man, let them know Hailey Bieber did because without Justin, she’d still be carrying Bella Hadid’s tuck tape to the fashion shows, but instead she’s tabloid fodder like she always dreamed….thanks to daddy not hugging her enough…I mean why the fuck would you want to be tabloid fodder unless you have serious voids in the core of your soul….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PiCS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|Hailey Baldwin Bieber|Hailey Bieber

2020

07

Oct

Breaking Necks with Cleoppatre of the Day

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Her name is Cleopatre, you can follow her on INSTAGRAM….and you should because her shit is really awesome, at least to me…

She’s not some Egyptian princess, she is however based in what I assume is Quebec, the land of circus performing weirdos…hot girls and poutines…

The funny thing is yesterday I wrote a note to myself that I should produce more funny bikini viral videos, because I am from the old school, and I find the dramatic bikini poses, where these girls are trying to recreate Sports Illustrated Swim or Victoria’s Secret, very fucking lame. I want to see girls in bikinis doing good things, whether that’s stunts, feeding the homeless, whatever…just not lame ass dramatic poses in a bikini you fucking losers…

So miraculous, the universe answered me with this skimpy bikini wearing girl who flips, jumps, balances, and is all around A LOT of fun to watch…as she lives her fearless life, landing on her neck, all for the sake of hot, fit, exhilerating content….she’s one to watch out for.

Posted in:Featured Post

2020

07

Oct

Katy Perry Post Pregnancy Fatty of the Day

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I thought Katy Perry already had her kid…..but her thighs are telling me a whole other story…one that involves her being in her 12th month of gestation because bitch is a fucking elephant…

Oh that new mom weight thanks to a pregancy that opened the door to being your true self, without the pressures of being a 35 year old trying to be hot popstar, where you can finally dive in an eat the fuck out of everything….plus with all that money in the bank…there’s not limitations to all the cake….I mean we’ve seen it all before, a chick on the cusp of fatness get knocked up only to never return, but never have those compulsive eaters had the kind of food budget this bitch has.

I have always said Katy Perry is a sloppy, pile of shit, and not just because of the way she awkwardly dances…a viral video that pulled some weird scam to exist beyond that viral video of Kissing a Girl and liking it…but instead becoming a hit making machine….all while sucking so hard….but not hard enough to make Orlando bust on her face instead of in her womb to produce what we can all assume is a shitty baby, one that the mom doesn’t even want to hang so instead she goes on walks with her paid helpers she calls “friend”…maybe she should look into brisk walks with personal trainers….lean up you knobby kneed pigeon toed freak.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Katy Perry

2020

07

Oct

Vanessa Hudgens Halloween Dancing of the Day

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Vanessa Hudgens has recently turned into an instagram pile of trash thanks to being dumped at 30 right before the whole lock down thing all happened allowing her to see what other girls do, reference her career and what she’s trained for, and realize “well this is a fucking joke”…I’ve been taking nudes before the iphone existed…because her level of fame, engaging with her audience and posting up slutty content is easy.

UNFORTUNATELY, she does the whole political outrage shit that I know I don’t want from the hot celebs, even at 30, I interact with on social media, not that I use social media, but I do see all the pics worth seeing from social media…but yeah, stick to the tits, your politics make you look like the vapid idiot we assume you are….it doesn’t give off the vibe of being more work, aware or interesting…but these poeple…they just feel the need to ask you to vote, tell you who to vote for and all that other shit…which is all diversions from the titties!!

Apparently, in her INSTAGRAM life of whoring and pushing her politics despite being totally unrelatable as a person…thanks to being in the 1%….she’s involved in some instagram scam that I assume she gets paid for where she claims you can text her at 310- 388-8308….you know anything to rape the audience out of their money to make a bitch richer…next stop…FAN SITE!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2020

07

Oct

Lily Rose Depp and her Mom Sucking some Chanel Dick of the Day

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Lily Rose Depp is overly hyped on her FRENCH citizenship, I assume it makes her feel more exclusive with that European sense of luxury, fashion, diet and lifestyle….to be from France is to be some pretentious culturally sound person who summers on yachts in the Mediterranean..eating dinner at expensive world reknowned restaurants….having a chateau in the beautiful french country side where she eats her raw milk that is illegal in America…silly Americans….despite being Johnny Depps Daughter, who spends more than half her time in the LA compound or one of the LA compounds…so that she can look down on her simple American friends from her superiority complex…

Not that I know anything about Lily Rose Depp, I just know that she’s a bratty rich kid famous for her parents, and running with it….she’s got an interesting look and not just becasue of her Cankles…but most importantly…her mom, the icon actress in France has raised her to appreciate some French luxury brands like CHANEL….where as one of their own…she goes to their fashion shows, wears their clothing almost exclusively, so here she is in a little top showing a lot of upper body skin…her cankles thank her for not putting them on blast again…and she’s doing it with her mom for all you mommy/daughter fetishists out there.

I like her look but I think the celebrity kids are the most interesting of social media whores.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lily Rose Depp

2020

07

Oct

Georgia Fowler in a Bikini of the Day

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These pics are a few days old, apparently I am slow at getting to things, it comes with age, laziness, and not really giving a fuck about Georgia Fowler or her clickbait attention seeking for the paid paparazzi…in my world Georgia Fowler barely exists…

But on instagram she has 1 million followers, gets a decent amount of hype as being some new “it girl” for whatever reason….

She’s done Victoria’s Secret, and other bikini, lingerie brands…she not anymore amazing than any of the other models out there…maybe it’s another Dark Hair / Light Eyes situation where girls with dark hair and light eyes get celebrated because they are normally supposed to have brown eyes…who fucking knows….I just see shoulders that are wider than her hips and that’s not the ratio my genetic code is interested in….but she is skinny with tits…

So for whatever reason the powers that be have decided that she’s the one for them to use to sell their panties to the masses…when there are so many other girls out there…and this is part of her “building her personal brand” bullocks.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Here is her nipple and some other shit from her social…

Posted in:Georgia Fowler

2020

07

Oct

Dakota Fanning’s Hard Nipple of the Day

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I don’t know why Dakota Fanning has decided to be hot, but I guess it has to do with staying relevant and knowing she has to compete with all the hot girls of instagram who don’t matter at her level, you know at least not from her perspective, because you know deep in her soul she thinks she’s more important that the normals, she’s Dakota Fanning after all and she has accomplished so much, even before her 18th birthday, thanks to parents who saw her as a cash cow they could exploit and sell off, like a prostitute in a third world country would do with her kid, you know get her earning we have RICE to buy…

Anyway, she posted a slutty selfie yesterday, now she’s wearing tight tops that show off her nipple, and I haven’t been one to get excited over a hard nipple since 9th grade gym glass, where one of the girls in our class either wore the wrong bra, it was pre padded bra era, or just had massive nipples, that all the guys were pretty stoked on, especially during Volleyball season.

Point being, a nipple’s not a big deal, I am all good with the don’t sexual nipples feminism, in part because it makes these girls show off their nipples like some sort of beacon of hope, a torch of freedom, the answer to all their unfair position in the world due to be a woman woes….but the hard nipple definitely gives us something to stare at, I mean without them, we wouldn’t know where to direct our eyes…so thank you for your guidance dear nipple…always a friend to me.

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Dakota Fanning

2020

07

Oct

Wetspot Wednesday of the Day

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I know what you’re thinking, days turn into nights, turn into days, turn into nights, and you can’t really figure out where you are in the week, in part due to your drug and alcohol abuse, but also because you don’t have a job, or you work from home, it is a pandemic after all….and maybe there’s a bit of not caring about the days, since they are all the fucking same, in the confines of your own house, assuming you are buying into the fighting of the virus by not meeting up with friends and family for some hangs….in Canada, Thanksgiving is cancelled….Halloween next on the chopping block…winter is coming..depressing times are ahead but your fateful government will guide you with new regulations, new laws, new normals, new taxes to fund all this insane….so keeping on top of days is almost useless..

That’s where I come in, with my daily round-ups so that you don’t need to bother remembering the days of the week, yesterday there was Tiny Tit Tuesday, today the coveted and most important because it still makes me want to throw up Wet Spot Wednesday and tomorrow….I come in strong with Tanlines…and Titty Drops and Assholes behind thongs..

I am the new Calendar…or you could just look at your phone or computer….but it’s less offensive…and thus less fun.