DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

13

Jul

Bella Thorne Tits of the Day

Bella Thorne is being all progressive in a tiny bandana top so that you can fully see the roundness of her DISNEY KID TITS, that have got to be implants because a tit that hangs like this is so rare…and that I don’t really care if they are real or not since everything is fucking fake bullshit thanks to the internet…from celebrity, to hype, to popularity, to news…it’s like nothing is fucking real because it’s just the fucking internet…yet people take it all so seriously despite it just being the fucking internet.

I like Bella Thorne even with her hairy legs because I’m not the kind of guy who fears a little body hair, I like the natural experience and grew up on 70s porn, it’s what I consider normal and the quest for girls to grow out their pubic hair has been the revolution I’ve been waiting for the last 20 years…and if you don’t believe me, I’ve been endorsing the bush probably since the first week of running this site because I was passionately against all the girls getting Brazilian waxes at the time I started this…2004….pussy hair is fucking awesome and if it comes with leg hair…that’ ok too….I’m just grossed out by armpit hair and that is just because when I was a kid I had a foster parent who lived in a bile of fucking hoarder trash, she was about 4 feet tall and drove some massive 1970s LeBaron type car, that she had legit wooden blocks on the pedals…she’d roll her own cigarettes using a machine…she’d have me roll them for her using that machine…and on hot summer days she’d wear tank tops…and I’d see the sweat beading off her armpits..and I’d legit gag…so I experienced trauma from Armpits…and not just because that woman taught me how to jerk off and how to eat rank pussy without puking…so anytime I see armpit hair I think of that Trauma….I’m a victim here #metoo….and if I didn’t get sexually assaulted by a hairy midget who put tomato paste in all our meals…I would probably be less disgusted by armpit hair…since hair really isn’t a big deal…and guys who think it is are clearly fucking pervert weirdos….needing your women smooth? You’re fucked.

Anyway, Bella Thorne is in Mexico getting fucked in Mexico all reunited with her boyfriend…and likely talking in that deep and vulgar voice about it to her fans to show them how real she is…despite being manufactured on a Disney Lot….her head still big, her lips still jacked, her tits still big and that all works for me…because it’s tits in a bikini by the pool…this is doing COVID proper.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bella Thorne

2020

13

Jul

Bella Hadid Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Bella Hadid is out here in a thong bikini because she likes to show off her tits and ass, you know since she’s scammed the world into thinking some troll rich kid from Malibu or wherever the fuck she was making smoothies before her trashy manly sister got all this hype thanks to their dad paying the right social media marketing agency to get her hype….

That hype is what this one rode to the fucking top, despite her being nothing near what a top model should be, at least not to people who remember what top models were over the years…you know the models who worked their asses off and climbed the ranks almost deserving the title…even if it is a lame fucking title.

While this one got there because her sister had social media followers….that may have been fake, but since they were riding the Jenner coattails could have been legit, I don’t give society as a whole much credit in having good tastes…when you see how good the reality stars have done with this whole social media thing.

So this HADID thing is something you’d assume the snobby fashion industry would frown upon…seeing as they are supposed to be premium and high end, not mainstream and McDonalds….

Then shit like this, bottom of the barrel, mutated looking thanks to all the procedures she’s had to look semi “legit” or interesting….shit like this gets hype, becomes top of the charts in the model industry…I don’t even want to know what her day rate is, but she’s buying 10 million dollar apartments from basically just being an IG slut…and you realize the Fashion industry are mainstream and McDonalds…just a bunch of dick suckers not creating trends, but rather riding trends that shouldn’t be trends, because they are dog shit…and dog shit needs to be bagged and picked up…and thrown out…

So this premium and high end rich kid probably doesn’t realizing how nicely the whole thing worked out for her, you know she thinks she deserves it.

That said, at least she’s skinny, got an ass and tits…even if she’s trash.

Here is her underwater shoot for Calvin Klein

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bella Hadid

2020

13

Jul

Halsey Nude of the Day

No Comments »

Halsey, who is some bullshit club dancer or bottle service girl who had access to the VIP room turned pop star because DJs are a bunch of loser simps who believe their own hype as they fuck party girls around the world despite being a bunch of fucking losers…

Anyway, this mooch fuck is mooching with some lame fucking nude pic, like the girls on instagram who are pretending they aren’t sluts, while being sluts, because they think their nudity is “art”….since they are that hyped on themselves..

The good news is that this shoot is so basic and g-rated that there’s nothing to it, she could be in a fucking snow suit and it’d be equally revealing, which is actually pretty fucking rude since she only exists for being a party slut who fucks DJs to get a career..and this is what she does with her career. Pretty weak.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Halsey

2020

13

Jul

Bebe Rexha Booty Shorts of the Day

No Comments »

I assume that Bebe Rexha has been fat shamed over the course of her trying to be a celebrity because she’s clearly living a more active life that involves her being really fucking excited about how round her fat ass looks…and if anything has gone from being an aspiring pop star to an only fans caliber booty model…who just takes selfies of her ass all day because it gets her off enough to share it with dudes for money, you know how these things happen…

She still has a gunt or gut that hangs over her gunt, so she’s not quite where she needs to be at 40, but I am sure at least one Black Dude, because Black Dudes fucking love fat asses…even more than the white dudes who listen to rap music….and who likely drop the “N-Word” because it is normalized in the music created for them…under the guise that it is black culture…confusing the suburbanites who are just keen to use their parent’s credit card on a pair of limited edition sneakers…you know just one of the inconsistencies of the black lives matter movement of white people assuming the plight of black people…by absorbing the injustices on the black people as it is their own….leading to apologizing for being white and other ridiculousness that’s actually pretty embarrassing but more interestingly racist in and of itself…their whole cause to address racism…is fucking racist…wild times..

What I am trying to say is that Bebe Rexha is an ego with a lot of confidence in herself because she has written hit songs for other “artists” and decided she’d have a go at it for herself because at 30 or older….she wants the fame and the glory and like other girls realizes the best marketing hook is to find something about you, whether it’s tits, ass, willing to get naked or half naked, feet, who fucking cares…and USE it hard since everyone is reduced to a porn star or fetish model now…any engagement they get on their content will be exponentially better when it’s fetish videos and watching this there’s no way to assume it’s not PAWG, assuming she identifies as white, content….fat fucking ass on a fat girl in bike shorts making booty content…it’s weird, but this is the world we are in.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bebe Rexha

2020

13

Jul

January Jones Pantless of the Day

No Comments »

January Jones is a test case, or would it be a textbook case, of a woman who found instagram late in life and realized that being as simple and basic as possible gets results…

It is like she’s old enough, because she is old, to remember when you had to take loads down your throat after doing some dramatic blowjob performance that you know was her real test to see if she could act, because any dude who has had a theatrical blowjob knows the girl is putting on a show and that your pathetic cock isn’t nearly as celebratory as she’s making it out to be…you know that no one under any circumstances except a bitch you are paying or a bitch who wants to trap you enjoys your unwashed dick at that fucking level…it is how they get the part in the acting world…

So she’s old enough to know that just showing tits, or legs or whatever half naked body part she’s into at the time gets her all this feedback, all these results, with little fucking effort.

What used to involve writing letters to producers to set up meetings, showing up to meetings, going to parties and working her way through the scene after moving to LA….maybe even working shitty jobs as a stripper or an escort or a waitress to get into the scene….when now all a bitch needs to do is show a little tit in a pic…pretty hilarious..

Not as hilarious as how Jason Sudeikos knocked her up and never admitted to being her baby daddy…what a dick…why hasn’t anyone cancelled him for his crimes against women…that probably involve paying this trash 20k a month in child support…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:January Jones

2020

13

Jul

Kristin Cavallari Hard Nipples of the Day

No Comments »

Kristin Cavallari filtered the fuck out of her face for some bullshit video that she hopes you focus on her hard nipples instead of her filtered fucking face….since everything on the internet is a fucking lie and these aging or rotting, depending on your stance when it comes to females aging….trying to fool us with their BOTOX, with their photoshop and divert our attention from their weathered old rich lady faces….will not fool me…however I will still stare at the divorcee’s nipples since why the fuck now….

You see, I didn’t give a fuck about her during the Laguna Beach days, I didn’t give a fuck about her when she decided to do the whole acting thing instead of doing “The Hills” only to have no success, so she found some loser jock with some money and made him cum in her until she got pregnant…strategic family planning.

Now she’s getting a divorce, still trying to be hot, but erasing her face in the process at least on the internet since we don’t need movie magic to make us better people now, they come default on all social media apps to perpetuate more lies on the LIE machine that is the internet.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2020

13

Jul

JLO Embarrassing Workout of the Day

No Comments »

J.Lo is such an old, dried up, outdated cunt that when you see her as she tries to be as hot as the young girls, as cool as the young girls, because the young girls are into J.Lo for her legacy, over that Nostalgia, she just assumes she’s still got it…but old people are fucking old people and old people pretending to be young people are still old people…

So seeing J.Lo on the elliptical bike, not the elliptical machine in the privacy of her own home, but an elliptical bike that is an actual bike….like you’d expect some old autistic doctor or dentist in Florida would be riding….since there’s zero fucking cool in this.

I’ve actually been outside and some motherfucker on one of these has ridden up on me, it may not be as bad as those people with the long “speed skate” roller blades that they rock out with a pair of cross country ski poles, you know that lame fitness crazy I mean…but it is PRETTY fucking lame..

What I am trying to say, if you needed a reminder that J.Lo is a fucking boomer…this is the proof…so don’t get distracted by her social media smut, she’s a fucking 50 year old and 50 year olds are fucking 50 year olds…no matter how hard they pretend their pussy hasn’t dried up.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:J.Lo

2020

13

Jul

Sammi Hanratty Swimsuit of the Day

No Comments »

Sammi Hanratty is really an irrelevant actress who miraculously got cast to be on Shameless before they killed her off. Not that I watch Shameless, but I did this past season only because I was celebrating that they wrote Emmy Rossum off the show after she demanded more money, despite being garbage and owning her fucking career to that show…because egos have egos and think they are more important or valuable than they are…especially when they are rich cunts..

Anyway, this ratty chick is on social media where she is zero interesting or compelling, unless you’re into girls with seeming giant heads….like her head is wider than her hips…what kind of cartoon shit is this…

The truth is, you’re into any girl, even those with dicks as long as they present themselves as girls…whether they’ve got the tits or surgeries or not…long hair and make-up is good enough…so you’re the simple minded fan base she’s speaking to.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Sammi Hanratty

2020

13

Jul

Best Video to Celebrate America of the Day

No Comments »

I think this pretty much SUMS up everything amazing in America right now!

You’ve got your happy dancing homeless man, because as long as you don’t give a fuck, nothing is that bad….he’s even got a MASK to keep ya’ll safe whether you think it’s propaganda or not, he knows how to be respectful of others….even the two in the back possibly fucking, having an opiate overdose before the cops come in with their billy clubs…is it even called a billy club…you know what I am saying…and that is that THIS VIDEO IS PERFECT….I wish I directed it myself…the Oscar Winning if Weinstein was here to bribe the Academy of viral, street level videos.

Posted in:Videos

2020

13

Jul

Nurses Gone Wild of the Day

No Comments »

The world is a crazy place filled with angry people over the COVID….where numbers are going up in the USA, but where people are arguing those stats as fake news, because the death rate isn’t going up and because 99 percent of people who die from it are unhealthy and have a pre-existing condition and where everyone I know who had it, had a sore throat for a day or two that was far less aggressive than any virus they ever had…even herpes….

It’s a great way to control the population through FEAR MONGERING, or at least a great way to get paranoid people to think the government is trying to control the population through fear mongering…you know with TRACKING apps for your safety and all that other insanity….that distract people with fighting about masks, instead of fighting for what matters…NOT PAYING TAXES…

But the front line workers, the heroes in all this who still have jobs and still go to work and aren’t dying of covid because they are too busy posting nudes on the internet…instead of being too busy dealing with false positive tests….false data about the spread…and fighting over mandatory masks…like health care workers should since they know what is important…THE NUDES!

Here are some pics…