DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

13

Apr

Ashley James Fat Ass of the Day

Ashley James is bringing the Fat during COVID crisis, so fat that I can’t fit in my jeans anymore, so look at my fat ass struggling to get into my jeans, whilst in a thong…to show off my booty struggles by trying to pretend it’s an inspiring and empowering moment….

If you package the fact that you bought pants three sizes too small as if they are your regular sized pants, when really it is just an excuse for you to post up a picture of your fat ass unable to fit in your pants, to tell some story of “we’re all getting fat in quarantine’ embrace it….then you may be a low hanging fruit cunt like Ashley James.

I still don’t know who Ashley James is, but I am going to go out on a limb here and assume she’s some whore out for attention by being slutty…that was on Reality TV, that uses any chance she has to get spotted or seen, and who can pretend to be an influencer to disguise her attention seeking…with shit like that.

I’m not complaining, I always like booty struggle pics, even if they aren’t authentic….because I’ve accepted that everything is staged bullshit for attention.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ashley James

2020

13

Apr

Alanis Morissette Tit of the Day

No Comments »

Alanis Morissette is out here getting her tit sucked for the breast feeding fetishists who park outside mommy yoga class back when it wasn’t under quarantine to see some fucking tits get sucked….

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always hated Alanis Morisette…

I think it has something to do with Canada being a socialist country that has “canadian content” laws in place, where radio, tv and movies need a certain percentage of Canadian content to legally operate.

When people from Canada get big in the USA, it’s like the best of both worlds to the media outlets that have to respect Canadian content laws, because they can play hit songs that double as Canadian content.

So Canada gets hit by hit songs by Canadians harder than anyone else. It’s a support our own without any of our consent…

So I’ve hated this Dave Coulier fucking, Ottawa based, pile of shit celebrity for as long as she’s been around….and I know people who went to high school with her…which doesn’t make her better or more familiar…or tap into my local hero price.

If anything, I just hate her more….like she’s a traitor who did this to us…NOT TO MENTION during the Jagged Little Pill era, she had a scene in her music video where she was naked, you know stripping down and baring her soul bullshit that worked in the 90s and even then I thought – “get the fuck out of her with that shitty body”….so even then, seeing her breast feed for activism, or for fun, or to be jerked off to…would not be appealing to me…and she was like 20 at the time…

Fast forward 25 years and I can say with confidence that seeing Alanis getting her tit sucked by her spawn is not for me….but it may be for you.

Not to mention, this whole titty breast feeding activism is one of the dumbest empowerment movements around. Women have breast fed in public forever, it’s not a magical and amazing thing to feed your fucking baby the way humans feed their fucking babies…if anything playing it up like it’s a big deal or activism is just an excuse to do it….exhibitionist slut…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Alanis Morissette

2020

13

Apr

Blanca Blanco Scary Easter Bunny of the Day

No Comments »

We have had >PHOEBE PRICE, and FRENCHY MORGAN mock the sanctity of celebrity…by getting into silly themed costumes, whether for COVID or EASTER or BOTH, because celebrity is a fucking joke…and if you move to LA to get as close as you can to the glitz of celebrity, you might as well make the most of your obscurity and produced themed content for the paparazzi to sell to low hanging fruit magazines, or for you to post on social media you barely have any fans on, because you’re not compelling enough of a shameless opportunist in her 40s being slutty by wearing costumes.

The only difference with Blanca Blanco than the other low hanging fruit, 40 year old clickbaiters, is that she’s actually worked as an actress…look at her now!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Blanca Blanco|Uncategorized

2020

13

Apr

Frenchy Morgan Crackhead Easter of the Day

No Comments »

I think I caught COVID from looking at these photos of Frenchy Morgan posing in surgical masks at her current squat house.

Frenchy Morgan is some real fucking clickbait trash producing clickbait and I like that people like Frenchy Morgan exist because like >PHOEBE PRICE, they mock the sanctity of celebrity…because it’s all a fucking joke really.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Frenchy Morgan

2020

13

Apr

Maya Uma Thurman Ethan Hawke Pussy Print for Easter of the Day

No Comments »

Maya Hawke is what happens when Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman were practicing the withdrawal method and failed….or MAYBE she’s a product of an IUD miracle child, that happens sometimes to those with creampie fetishes because breeding is what they are coded to do, so sex without internal cumshot isn’t sex worth having…or maybe she was part of their family planning because they felt that together their love was so strong a child would be the logical addition to their loving home…only for them to end up in divorce like all great love stories…

Not that any of that matters, this isn’t about Maya’s origin story, but rather that she’s posting up pics of herself in what looks like the position to be cummed inside herself, you know “easter” themed hipster porn…before the porn happens…looking for a creampie of her own….the only thing getting in the way of all that is them pants…it’s like bitch is staging an easter egg hunt of her own while spreading her legs like they want to stop the spread of COVID….

My takeaway is that this is a bit too real, too “freshly woken up”…..but she’s rich and has nothing to prove so take it in.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:maya hawke

2020

13

Apr

Emma Kenney Bra of the Day

No Comments »

The ugly ginger who is meant to look Irish from Shameless is out here with some fat armpit fetish porn.

I know people who like to fuck armpits, they pay hookers for that, and it’s likely less disgusting for your dick to experience that than some of the pussies out there, but I still don’t “get it”.

The good news is that she’s also showing cleavage, because far armpits without fat tits are like a car without tires, a bike without a seat, a diabetic without an amputation…a Global Pandemic without a plan to microchip the world….it’s just not the way it is supposed to be.

She’s not the hottest of people, but I did watch the last season of Shameless, in a protest against Emmy Rossum, I figure make them know that we don’t need ROSSUM…

I don’t vote, or do any activism, but I’ll watch Shameless episodes being streamed sometimes more than once, just to do my part to keep their ratings up so that the producers never go crawling back to that useless cunt EMMY ROSSUM.

This ugly ginger, with tits and fat armpits carried the show fine, even if its a dumb show to begin with.

So any Emmy Rossum replacement is a friend of mine! A friend who I’ll sexualize as they sexualize themselves with the rosy patch of skin pale gingers get when they are touched by basically anything….oh to be pale.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Emma Rose Kenney

2020

13

Apr

Ana De Armas Holding Dog Shit of the Day

No Comments »

I am not referring to Ben Affleck as the dog shit in this series of staged paparazzi pics that these two “love birds” do during quarantine for the paparazzi that are conveniently waiting to capture them on their “walks”…despite being famous and capable of hiring dog walkers, if anything hiring dog walkers would be the RIGHT thing to do for your dogs to keep those GIG workers afloat rather than let them starve to death all because you need an excuse to get seen by the paparazzi….

There are rumors she’s his handler, this is clearly by design…the crackhead drunk celebrity and the up and comer a seemingly match made in heaven…where he can take her under his wing and show her the ropes…but we remember a time when the paparazzi didn’t follow Affleck around EVERY fucking day, we’d go months with no AFFLECK images…even when he was with GARNER…because the paparazzi only surface when they are asked to.

They must have the same agents, there’s more to this story, this is the guy who was brought up by Weinstein…so whatever damage control is going on…it’s going one here….

I guess when you’re famous, staged romance is really all your romances since no one is there for you, they are there for the IDEA of you…and when you’re Ana De Armas, a cuban trying to exist in Capitalism, you’ve likely done far worse than fuck someone like Ben Affleck to get to this point in your life where you’re not working at a Cuban resort cleaning hotel rooms…like CUBANS are typically supposed to…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Here’s her ass in some Khakis….without the old pervert drunken dead weight…

TO SEE THE RES TOF HER ASS IN KHAKIS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ana De Armas|SFW

2020

13

Apr

Masked Olivia Wilde Big Legs in Leggings of the Day

No Comments »

LOOKS LIKE COVID IS GETTING TO OLIVIA WILDE’S MOM THIGHS…

I’ve heard that this whole quarantine is getting the spoiled brats down because they can’t golf, beach, or do other rich person things….but in Olivia Wilde’s case…it’s causing CHAFFING….

I don’t know if she’s always been built like a woman with midget legs…or if she’s just fattening up in Quarantine because her and her husband don’t have enough money to have a home fucking gym, and her and her husband probably have a home fucking gym, but why would she bother using it…she’s middle aged…and it’s more fun to sit and eat when there’s no filming going on….or in her case directing Superbad 3.

Point being, her real last name is COCKBURN…which is what’s probably happens if you ever get your dick between those things and tell her to run in place…

DUMPY

To See the Rest of the Pics Click Here

Posted in:Olivia Wilde|SFW

2020

13

Apr

Phoebe Price Tits Out for Jesus of the Day

No Comments »

One of the more confusing things that happens once ever month or two is when Phoebe Price sends me a text message with her press clippings from other magazines that have picked up her theme / staged paparazzi shoots, because it’s quirky, it’s weird, and girl clearly loves the attention she gets. Why else does she do it.

What I love about Phoebe Price, I’ve said multiple times before, but it’s basically that she is essentially mocking influencers and celebrities, and has been for a long time.

These influencers walk around like they are famous, and famous people walk around like they are famous, and the whole thing is pretty uptight and pretentious while Phoebe Price comes along, is virtually a nobody, dressed like a fucking mascot at some ghetto amusement park, or maybe for some poor kids birthday party entertainment, and her photos get picked up and published.

I appreciate that whole non celebrity, mooching off celebrity tactics, not necessarily benefiting from it financially, but benefits from the validation because in her mind she is famous.

I am a fan, I like delusions…at least when they remind us how insignificant actual celebs are.

I am proud to call Phoebe Price a friend of the site, it’s just unfortunate that she never sends me sex tape footage so that we can make some real money together….

This is her easter bunny paparazzi clickbait shoot!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Phoebe Price

2020

13

Apr

Fat Fuck Ariel Winter at the Grocery Store of the Day

No Comments »

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart…..

Ariel Winter, despite being thin for about 5 months, is a fat fuck….and when you’re a fat fuck emotional eater, the only place you care to go is the Grocery Store….

When there is a Global Pandemic and threats of a food shortage…and you’re a fat fuck emotional eater due to all that childhood trauma in being a child star on a sitcom…you stock the fuck up.

I love when she goes to the grocery store to fuck herself up like it’s a drug, because to her, it’s like a drug…because I can scan her bags…

What I see in today’s order, which looks like a big order, even though she just did one last week…is the BIGGEST box of OREOS that her fat ass will sit on the couch and eat…important and nutritious foods for some broken cunt who is now out of work, but rich, so that she doesn’t have that pressure to not eat her fucking face off.

Who the fuck even eats Oreos as an adult, especially when you are rich and can have fresh cookies baked and delivered for you.

This is some emotional eating, fat girl with eating disorder binge and purge moves….I mean she’s fucking sloppy, while not even being old enough to be sloppy…EAT THE SUGAR BITCH…

She’s too young to have a body like this, but hey, if it’s a Global Pandemic, there is no better excuse to gain 40-60 fucking pounds…her her dumpy 50 year old mom lookin’ ass. What a fucking pig.

To see the rest of the fat pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW