DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

20

Apr

Julianne Hough Hard Nipples of the Day

Every time I look at Julianne Hough – I imagine her having sex with Ryan Seacrest, not because I like to think of Ryan Secrest in a sexual way, that’s not really my vibe…I’m more into sexualizing girls on the internet posting nudes with captions that read “stop sexualizing me creeps”…..”but I’ll sell you pics of my feet”…..”and my dirty panties….but only if you sign up to my memebership site”..

I imagine her fucking Ryan Seacrest because she has fucked Ryan Seacrest and that is hilarious…

The naughty mormon who denounced mormonism, who claims to have been sexually molested by the mormon church, possibly with her dancing brother who moved to the UK to train as her dance partner because they are weirdos…

So she knows a think or two about sexy dance, it’s just unfortunate that her form of sex work is being on TV and not on the stripper pole cam show…but it doesn’t mean she’s not a slut…if anything she’s just a better slut than other sluts reduced to basic slut measures.

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Posted in:Julianne Hough

2020

20

Apr

Zoey Deutch Fucks the Fridge of the Day

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Zoey Deutch is some celebrity rich kid, if you consider Caroline in the City a celebrity. You probably don’t even remember who that is. Which is probably the reason that Zoey Deutch is on the quest to be famous in her own right, because she needs to use the foundation built by her mom, to next level it…while most celebrity kids try to get famous to break out of their parents’ shadow, this one is doing it to get their name on the map. She was raised with all these LA rich kids, so she had to be lower profile her whole life and that’s the fuel to her fire….I assume…I mean I know nothing about Zoey Deutch, meaning everything I just said was nonsense…

What isn’t nonsense is that I see videos of girls fucking pillows online, I see girls fucking suction dildos online, I see girls doing all kinds of crazy things with inanimate objects….but I don’t see girls fucking fridges enough. It’s like girls like to pretend they don’t eat, or they like to pretend they do eat but then puke it all up, but they never seem to show the proper appreciation for their fridge that houses that food they pretend to eat, or pretend not to eat.

I guess that can be Zoey Deutch’s legacy.

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Posted in:Zoey Deutch

2020

20

Apr

Babe Makes a TikTok for Instagram of the Day

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Her name is Jenny Mosienko and she’s surprisingly from the Ukraine. It is never the Eastern European girls who are out there being the hottest girls on social media, cam sites, and all things good in the world. It’s like they are trained for this shit at communist work camps while their moms are waiting in line for toilet paper, something that used to be a communism joke but that is now a COVID joke, where people feel like they live in communism as they protest America to go back to work, like the annoying kid who cries on a snow day, instead of just taking it in and chilling…

Point being, this Jenny Mosienko can be found on INSTAGRAM where you and 1.2 million other people can fight over her attention, or sign up to her paid site like a bunch of SIMPS who forget about free porn, because you like the connection the girl has with you and her 1000s of other 10 dollar a month idiots.

Point being, her TikTok on Instagram is a win.

Posted in:Videos

2020

20

Apr

McKayla Maroney Short Shorts of the Day

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McKayla Maroney was the Gymnast who went viral for becoming a meme when she was underage and ya’ll Olympic Gymnast fans who are already rearing up for this year’s Olympics, were all about her and who are likely the same pervert fucks occupying the VIEWS on every TikTok video you see of a girl dancing with her tits out, her vagina out…..or whatever else she has out….like this TikTok…

I guess when you’re an Olympic gymnast, your TikTok dances are better quality than the amateurs TikTok people, and this is one of those dances…

I like to think she’s sexualizing in her slutty shorts showing off her less than athletic quarantine 15 body…but we give her a break because she was the one who took a payout settlement against her Gymnastic doctor who finger banged her….instead of ratting him out like the other girls….which caused negative press and a lot of hate that has kept McKayla off the radar…..

Take the money and run, the finger bangings while fixing swollen ankles aren’t going to magically disappear because you testify against a pervert with 100 other girls testifying against him….and money heals all wounds…

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Posted in:McKayla Maroney

2020

20

Apr

Kiernan Shipka Bra Dance of the Day

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Kiernan Shipka in a bra doing a dance like she is on TikTok, and she is probably on TikTok, which is China’s answer to give sexual predators hours of content, while giving confused kids with shitty parents that were raised on porn a venue to post bra dances and other really perverted shit, all while giving China access to track EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN trying to get on the latest trend, especially now in Quarantine with all the time in the world, awesome..

Only I don’t think this is for TikTok, I think it’s for her shitty Sabrina show, that they are likely still filming despite essential work being the only thing that should be working, the entertainment industry is above the law, just ask Natalie Woods’ killer….

I don’t find this girl hot at all…if anything I find her ugly, so I don’t know why I am bothering, I guess a bra dance is all it takes to get featured on this site, pointed and laughed at, and/or jacked off to…

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Posted in:Kiernan Shipka

2020

20

Apr

The Frontliners Flashing in Scrubs of the Day

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All we are hearing about in the media is how special and heroic the frontliners are because they are on the frontlines…

Most people working in public health or really anything public are typically only there for the job security, benefits and are in fact lazy and just do these jobs for the pay check and not for their passion of changing diapers or being amongst the sick….

That applies to doctors also….and cops…They aren’t there to make the world a better place, if anything they are there to do nothing until they are forced to do something…all while abuseing their power or live above the law….to benefit themselves.

Tthis isn’t about cops, or about doctors…it is about the nurses…and not slandering the nurses who instead of quitting their jobs, are still going to work in healthcare, basking in the attention they are getting by being nice enough to take a minute out of their busy and crazy days as they theoretically risk their lives to help save lives…which is hero work…to flash their pussies in nude selfies they upload to the internet…which is the actual hero work….

Perverts need as many people from as many professions naked, whether that profession is trending now or not….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2020

20

Apr

Vanessa Hudgens is the Mail Order Bride Daughter of the Day

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The best thing about this video is that I heard Vanessa Hudgens mom in the background and I was like “Holy Shit, Vanessa Hudgens is a Filipino”….

I may have already known that about the High School Musical starlet who is now in her 30s and no longer a Disney kid, yet branded Disney forever. It’s what happens when you sell your soul to the devil you know.

I just didn’t realize that her mom was full PILL-O-PINO….I find the whole thing hilarious, only because in Canada, there are so many of these Filipino’s working at Old Folks home, in healthcare, making salads, as nanny’s to the rich kids…but most importantly the mail order brides.

I know at least 10 stories of husbands knocking up the filipino cleaning lady or nanny like they were Schwarzenegger. I always laugh when someone I know is like “Heading to the Philippines to buy some property for my girlfriend and her family”…..

That’s not to say that Filipino girls aren’t hot, or are hood or ghetto. I was just overly excited when I saw /heard Hudgens mom’s Manilla DRAWL….and I am not quite sure why…but I like it.

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2020

20

Apr

Stoner Girls for 420 of the Day

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We normally do a big production for 420 despite being called DrunkenStepfather because I am a weed activist, mainly because like Income Tax, the concept is stupid.

It’s a fucking plant….and the idea of a plant being illegal is fucking stupid.

Despite being a drunk, I realize that alcohol being a controlled substance makes sense, if everyone could legally make it, there would be a lot of dead / blind idiots out there….but a plant…one that grows so easily and has all kinds of health benefits, that isn’t really processed before being smoked, in a it grows in the earth, you pick it, dry it and smoke it, a very simple process if it wasn’t illegal….but it is illegal in way too many places because we as a people let the government do fucked up things…LIKE INCOME TAX….

So here are some babes naked with their weed to celebrate a plant that is just a plant…even if I’m more a drunk…it’s just a fucking plant….

So Happy 420 ya’ll…

Posted in:Feature

2020

20

Apr

Helena Christensen Old Momma Booty Photoshoto of the Day

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Helena Christensen is the latest of the 90s hot babes who are now 50 years old showing you that with the right diet, exercise, level of wealth, cosmetic procedures, they can use those solid genetics to continue to be worth fucking into their senior at risk of dying of COVID-19 age.

You may know her as Norman Reedus’ baby momma, or the girl who used to choke out Michael Hutchence to make him cum…or maybe you remember her as the cofounder of NYLON magazine…but I remember her as being a catalog panty model when that meant something….a Danish in America hero that men everywhere jerked off to thanks to their wive’s bringing that catalog porn into the house…instead of trying to sneak your own porn in.

She’s still at it…showing that old ass, that’s a better ass than young ass, because older generation knows it takes effort to be hot and don’t believe that anyone should be a model, especially after they’ve been models, because it would reduce what they did and got paid too much for, to be all pedestrian…peasant shit…so being a model, at least to her, has to be a prestigious thing that takes WORK.