DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

03

Mar

Kendall Jenner Skinny in Bike Shorts of the Day

If you’re interested in the ass that Bruce Jenner’s Vagina Made when it Came inside the Kardashian mom, well here it is in bike shorts, looking skinny, and idiotic.

This trash that we can’t really blame for being a Jenner / Kardashian pile of shit, and who we should semi support for attempting to be a legit fashion model, despite clearly being an average looking girl who had a dream of being a fashion model, and the resources to buy herself into being a fashion model, because the family converts sales for brands, and if they use one of them like she’s a legit model, they can get her and her family to post the brand to support their sister’s dream.

SHe is the equivalent of a rich kid going to a recording studio to record an album. The album isn’t good, The music videos aren’t good. The overall experience a joke to everyone but the girl with a dream not even aware of how lame she fucking is….only for “fashion”.

There is nothing hot about any of the Kardashians….they are a stain on society no matter how much money they wake but her dad has a pussy and that is ALWAYS comedic.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

More importantly….she’s doing bikini pics that have been photoshopped and she looks much better…keep the photoshop alive!

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2020

03

Mar

Jordyn Jones in a White Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Jordyn Jones is a singer and dancer built off of perversion. She had a Youtube channel when she was young and it went viral because she was pretty inappropriate on it. Meaning she had parents who allowed their child to creatively express herself on the fucking internet, the hub of EVERY SINGLE HUMAN’S worst possible behavior, where perfectly respectable people in the community turn to the weirdest shit to jerk off to, probably the last place you’d want your kid posting anything….but it led to 6 million followers that she monetizes and can launch her music to, so I guess it is worth it….

Keeping up with her legacy of being something creeps jack off to, she brought a bikini photoshoot for her IG, and this is what it looked like.

Not officially a sex worker, but under the right context, all these bitches are sex workers…making money off their sex and I’m watching cuz why not.

Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2020

03

Mar

Eliza Vida and her White Cowboy Boot Booty of the Day

No Comments »

I have a feeling that this ELIZA VIDA is not actually a cowboy, but you cowboy fetishists out there may like to pretend that she is, so look at those boots motherfucker and pretend she’s a shit kickin’ inbred redneck like you….

I mean maybe horseback riding is the reason her ass and legs look so sturdy, but now that vintage cowboy is in style thanks to that Old Town Road song, making my Boot Barn prices sky rocket, it’s probably just a fashion statement….It taps into memories of my first porno VHS, which seems so cliche but brought so many great memories that paved the way for lifetime commitment to masturbation, Thanks Debbie Does Dallas and the slutty cheerleaders who wore similar boots for the good times…I’d hate to see what they all look like now.

Either way, no idea who Eliza Vida and her White Cowboy Boots are….but her name sounds like a porn name…and that ties into the theme I’ve created for this shoot I had nothing to do with.

Posted in:Eliza Vida

2020

03

Mar

Camille Rowe has her Titties Out Still of the Day

No Comments »

Camille Rowe has been a nude for fashion model for a long fucking time, at least 10 years of nudity. I know that is not a big deal now that EVERY single woman gets nude, but there was a time when they didn’t and when we relied on girls like Camille Rowe who convinced the fashion industry she wasn’t a sex worker or cam girl or instagram THOT on THIRSTY THURSDAY trying to get some CLOUT…..not that the fashion industry turns their back on any of those things now, but they used to.

So Camille Rowe, the lovely nude fashion model…who is probably only really lovely because she is willing to get nude for fashion model shoots…I guess since shit is better than working a real job…and if you’re gonna do it…you might as well go all the way with it…cuz there’s nothing worse than a model…who gets paid to look good…who has a no-nudity clause in her fucking contract…it used to happen…I thinK Megan Fox had one….and is still getting nude (kinda, the titty shot is kinda horror movie vibe tits, harder to jerk off to unless you’re a psychopath rapist and you probably are) is the test of how much you want success…your endurance…your ability…your talent…and how much you should earn….now that people know you exist cuz you got nude 10 years ago.

Either way, nice to see she hasn’t quit yet.

Posted in:Camille Rowe

2020

03

Mar

Maria Demina and her Awesome Selfies of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is MARIA DEMINA and she’s some kind of instagram photographer or model or both…I mean it doesn’t require all that much talent to be either…especially when you look like Maria Demina…because I’m not capable of running a social media account, I hate the concept of investing time and content and effort into Zuckerberg’s platform that made him billions, even if it’s a way to get audience and discovered, I pretty much prefer to remain obsolete and irrelevant, but I am also old…and these younger folk have a dream to never work conventional lives, to travel doing shoots that don’t matter, all while subsidized by “hip” brands and rich dudes…because they are hot. I get it, working a normal job is for fucking losers, when you can just do this. Plus, the whole generation is all about nudity, sex work, and everything my generation looked down upon…allowing the shine shine of hot chicks who would have been bank tellers or whatever hot chicks did for work….I guess they always were just housewives to rich guys….to really shine.

I mean…on all fours butt shots just for the hell of it…not so subtle, sure, but seems so fucking great to me…and it is happening.

Posted in:Maria Demina

2020

03

Mar

Dora Madison Burge Nude of the Day

No Comments »

Dora Madison Burge may be an insignificant actress, but like all actresses she loves herself enough to want to be on camera, to want to be celebrated by fans, to want to be on a podium accepting awards for her contributions to the world via her performances. It’s a level of narcissism that comes with thinking you are good enough to get into a highly competitive industry based on your looks. Vain as shit….and like most vain people, the vanity doesn’t end with getting cast on shows, or appearing on camera, or getting heavy pay checks…it permeates all aspects of their lives…including but not limited to their sex lives…they get off on themselves, and they often times want you to get off to them, to help them get off to themselves, not that they really need that…

There is no doubt in my mind that all actresses, or at least a VERY high percentage of actresses are only actresses because they love themselves, they think they are great, they think they are hot, and that others love them too.

The kind of people who masturbate in front of the mirror…

We just don’t get a taste of that, because the industry was designed as a business, and the business likes to keep a wall between you and the talent, a wall that social media is breaking, but agents everywhere for the longest time, fought to keep their talent premium and not gutter sex workers they have more in common with than the image they portray being in Hollywood.

Basically, Dora Madison Burge is doing what they all do, and that’s getting off to themselves, only she lets you get off to her too, because no agents are blocking her from clicking the “POST” button on her social media / porn site.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Dora Madison Burge

2020

03

Mar

Jourdan Dunn Nip Slip of the Day

No Comments »

Jourdan Dunn has a nipple and it is very brown, which would make sense since the rest of her is also brown, but how funny would it be if her nipple was pink, or what we call a “Ghost Nipple”…the barely visible type, that almost have a shimmer or shine to them…

Like this:

Or This:

Or This

It just seems like a dark nipple on dark skin is so basic….and I guess that would be called nipple shaming, or racism, not that I am saying brown nipples are bad, but this is barely a nipple slip and if there’s going to be a barely nipple slip, it might as well be something I’ve never seen before…like a pasty ass white nipple on a black girl.

I guess this post was a waste of your time…but what isn’t…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jourdan Dunn

2020

03

Mar

Christina Aguilera Demented Tits of the Day

No Comments »

My only Christina Aguilera story is that I sided with her during the Britney and X-Tina wars, I just thought her petite body would outlast Britney’s clearly genetically predisposed to get fat body.

I even made a bet with a friend that in my lifetime, I would have sex with Christina Aguilera, it was more of a joke than anything, I didn’t actually believe it, but then one day it happened…and we had two kids and lived happily ever after in her mansion….where I continued the blog as a pervert in a basement apartment with a fat wife, because I did have a fat wife, it just happened that fat wife was X-tina….and the basement apartment was lounging by the pool..

Yes…this is me…

Obviously, that is not how thing panned out, but I didn’t think their careers would continue for as long as they have, 20 years later. Her singing always annoyed me…but the day she got fake tits for her tiny frame….I was like “all down hill from here…..I didn’t think that X-tina would eat her feelings, or fill her void from the trauma of being raised without a dad, after officially making it and securing herself. I did think she’d end up broke and working as a stripper somewhere, that you could hire her out for private parties, hence the whole making a bet that I would have sex with her….

Well, she’s still got the fake tits and they’ are doing some weirdness…and when it comes to tits…they can do whatever the hell they want, I’ll still stare.

LOOK AT THIS TANK IN ACTION:

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|SFW

2020

03

Mar

Charlotte Gainsbourg Broken Foot Fetish of the Day

No Comments »

After the hype that Britney Spears and her BREAKING OF HER FOOT has got, all the other relatively irrelevant acts have decided to follow that pop star, mainstream trend setter’s lead, to “CAST THE FUCK UP” to cash in on the broken foot fetishists out there.

Charlotte Gainsbourg is the hipster icon, the daughter of French lounge singer Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin, who the BIRKIN BAG was named after….at 48….which is basically Britney’s age…that osteoporosis so hot right now that BOTOX, FITNESS, and VANITY exists….just imagine what the old pussy pretending to be young can do….everything but get pregnant…yay.