DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

01

Oct

Chelsea Handler Flashing her Tits of the Day

People used to find Chelsea Handler and her bitchy condescending comedy brilliant. It was an angle that I guess got her a TV show and made her a ton of money, before mean people were getting cancelled. Her anger stemmed from being a failed actress who did at least one “BLUE” movie, or softcare cheesy movie she got naked in, and never amounted to much more than that, but thanks to being in the LA rich dude scene, she was able to be that big personality a producer was like “let’s get on TV”….

If you weren’t into her humor then, it is because you didn’t really see the depths of her talents and ability, but I like to think this helps her really secure herself as a comedy icon…

I mean na titty flash next to a elderly cross walk..cuz she’s old….or maybe it’s a fuck old people and their cross walks…and aging…look at my tits…either way…hilarious….brilliant even….right? RIGHT? RIGHT?

I know…she is garbage, but her joke got something right and that is that she isn’t funny, but she’s got bolt on tits to divert from that, it is the whole point of bolt on tits, and that is why she likes to pull them out ALL the time…

Like why didn’t the titty flashing happen when she was on nightly TV, why does it always happen in times of desperation for eyeballs and relevance…tits man…thee back-up plan.

More Chelsea Handler nudity..

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Posted in:Chelsea Handler

2019

01

Oct

Noah Cyrus Thong of the Day

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Noah Cyrus in her thong, taken by Tana Mongeau…..Tana Mongeau is the slutty youtuber who has managed to win over weird LA people who don’t leave their house and probably spend too much time on the computer being degenerates between acting jobs…like Noah Cyrus, or Bella Thorne before her. You know these broken rich puppets who don’t have a concept of reality, finding humor in this Tana bitch, or substance, or something they want to mooch off of, allow Tana to mooch right back off them….usually by sucking their cunts.

So in keeping current with the times, Noah Cyrus fucks this Tana Mangeau, it’s what the perv kids are into, she also wears a thong, it’s what the perv kids do, and this is basically the visual representation of the generation raised on internet porn and VINE coming together in weird content they produce of themselves, instead of saving it for the movies they get cast in.

There’s a whole lot of attention seeking going on in these parts…

TO SEE MORE PICS OF NOAH CYRUS BRALESS AND SHIT CLICK HERE

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Posted in:noah cyrus|SFW

2019

01

Oct

Top 10 Towel Series Sluts Part 2 of the Day

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Here is part 2 to that Towel series because why not….

If you missed part one, google it….or I could link it…but fuck that…I do enough work around here…

I wrote:

Mario Testino is some creepy fashion photographer who managed to get out of PERU and into the prestigious, pretentious, obnoxious, elitist fashion world….where “creatives” collectively got paid ridiculous amounts of money to do cocaine and pretend to be artists….even though art doesn’t really exist and it is all just commercial nonsense that requires self absorbed egos to try to polarize from their 5 million dollar “ARTIST” loft…fuck off..

Well, along with being accused of sexual misconduct, the real art form of photographers, from at least 18 people publicly….many are dudes cuz I guess he’s a queer…not so surprising that a dude with money and ego at the top of his industry is going to use that to get pussy or man pussy – but they say that it is wrong – even though it seems to be pretty human based on the number of creeps out there…

He has a series, that I guess is what he thinks is high concept, of models in towels after showers on shoots….you know that real and raw moment or whatever.

I didn’t re-read what I wrote, that’s not my thing, but here are more of his pics to celebrate fashion perversion.

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Posted in:Featured Post|SFW

2019

01

Oct

Juliana Silveira Deleted Instagram Nudity of the Day

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Juliana Silveira is a Brazilian actress from the Telenovelas….I am posting her because she’s got her ass out and I figure the Brazilian audience is massive, and if this goes Viral in Brazil, maybe I’ll become like Hasselhoff in Germany, you know a legend….

It’s always better to be famous is obscure countries, at least obscure in terms of where you live, because being unknown where you live is awesome…but sometimes it’s nice to get that VIP treatment, with drivers, 6 star hotels, and money….but only if you can escape that shit.

I wonder if posting a butt shot she already posted for her fans is the answer, the get rich quick scheme, or maybe the fans have already seen it and won’t care to see it again….but the hope is that people have got rich off far less effort! So maybe this is it.

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Posted in:Juliana Silveira

2019

01

Oct

Meghan Trainor Not Hot Thong of the Day

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Dude…

Meghan Trainor neeeds to get a fucking trainer, especially if this is her whole marketing campaign, unless the no trainer is thee key to making this a successful marketing campaign, celebrate being fat for fat girls everywhere cuz trust me, they are everywhere.

She is someone I try to never do posts on….in fact I have never done posts on her…but she was a huge viral sensation, literally and figuratively, a bunch of years back….and she’s made a shit ton of money while inspiring other fat girls to finish their sandwich, or pizza, or burger, or cake, and follow their dreams, because if it works out, they will have all the sandwiches, pizzas, burgers and cake their fat asses desire with all that fat girl money…

Like ALL girls who want to get on stage, Meghan Trainor, has followed the lead of all the fat empowered girls that have popped up and said it is OK to be a fat girl who gets naked, it doesn’t necessarily look good, but you’re allowed to do it. They make thongs in your size now, so instinctively, as a girl, you must show that thong off..

So her original fat girl song that was nothing sexual, has found sex, because everything is sex, no matter what the size…and that winning at life, can really fully come to fruition with arrogance, confidence to get on stagee to show the world one of the biggest thongs to ever be on stage, an that that’s ok…even though its not.

My theory on it is the same as it has always been. If you are a girl of any size, get naked, we’ll look, maybe even fuck you when drunk, or even fuck you in private as long as no one knows…you can as a pervert find something to stare at during the process to get off to….

If you choose to do it on stage, just do it on stage, without it being some cultural event or brave, you’re a narcissist, fat folk can be narcissists and think they look awesome, so don’t make it out to be anyting more than it is, which is alot, at least if you were to weigh it.

I guess what I am saying is that it is funny that EVERY girl is compelled to show their ass. I blame or should I thank social media and the black folk the like fat asses and makes these otherwise gross girls feel their hottest.

Weird….

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Posted in:Meghan Trainor|SFW

2019

01

Oct

Simona Krainova Nude Photoshoot of the DAy

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Who is Simona Krainova and what the hell is she doing posing for this nude photoshoot at 46 years old?

I guess it is called being an old Eastern European, who understands the not so subtle art of seducing your audience, diverting them from the real issues, like the fact that she’s 46, with the nudes….

I can’t read her wikipedia because it is in Czech, but I do like knowing that since she is 46 years old, she remembers communism, which makes her a special breed of human, one who has memories of waiting in line for toilet paper, only to not get toilet paper, which likely inspires a real solid work ethic…one that makes doing thing that American girls are too entitled and coddled to do, seem easy…like sex work. That is not to say Americans don’t to sex work, it’s just to say that hot Russians who lived through communism are really trained for the sex work, they have schools for that, Masters Degrees in it…

46 is seemingly far too old for this kind of behavior, but I guess when it is your life work and you’re not fat about it, you can’t stretch that out a decade longer, but if it wasn’t an Eastern European from communism, it wouldn’t be as good. So here it is.

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Posted in:Simona Krainova

2019

01

Oct

Beatrice Bouchard Bikini of the Day

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Beatrice Bouchard is evidence that Canadian girls can do vapid instagram content just as well as American girls.

Especially when they are rich kids, who’s twin sister is a pro tennis player, Eugenie Bouchard who is a legit enough tennis player, who works the tennis circuit like an athlete, but who is inspired by her twin to do more of the IG life, since that is where the real money is…so together…and apart…even though twins are weird and always together…even when apart…especially when they fuck….you know cuz twincest isn’t incest cuz when twins fuck it’s just like masturbation….they were in the fucking womb together….

So when Eugenie is in Florida Training, Beatrice, the hotter one with the fake tits, is in her bikini in Ibiza and doing other socialite on instagram shit, all while having no marketable talent, but tits, half nakedness and followers that advertisers want to reach, which I guess makes it a marketable talent….good hustle.

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Posted in:Beatrice Bouchard|SFW

2019

01

Oct

Zita Vass Fully Naked on Instagram of the Day

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Zita Vass is basically a nobody LA based model who may pretend she’s an actress but you have never heard of…maybe that’s part of her acting…acting so good we don’t even know she acts…

She is Hungarian, but don’t worry, she is not stealing your jobs, because she was born in America….not one of those imported models working off a work visa because she’s got rich dudes sponsoring her. Not to say this one doesn’t have rich dudes sponsoring her, it is LA, where girls suck dick for rent so they can focus on their passions of doing nothing all day…

Her first modeling job was at 10. which is really fucking creepy, but I guess not if you’re from an immigrant family, just doing what you gotta do to get by.

She’s now 30, with is the opposite of 10 in terms of modeling…cuz it’s almost too old.

She’s done Guess campaigns, probably all she’s done really, and by Guess campaigns I mean she’s likely let the Guess owner diddle her…that is kind how he chooses the tits to use in his campaigns…it’s not any judgement of her morals and values…it’s just the cost of doing Guess…just as GIGI hadid…

Well, she released a nude on IG, a full nude, that has since been deleted and wrote this to the new censored version:

Why is everyone so prude? Why do I offend u soo much? Look elsewhere. I love being naked and I don’t see a single fucking thing wrong with my photo. If you do, that’s your own issue – look elsewhere. Also being naked and doing what I WANT with my body is MY RIGHT (insert middle finger emoji)

I guess she doesn’t understand that it isn’t the audience who are offended, it’s zuckerberg trying to run an ad friendly, family friendly, smut site, and you can’t do that with blatant GRAphic nudity. IMplied onl….

If she wants to put up nudes, there’s porno sites for that…right..

Posted in:Zita Vass

2019

01

Oct

Schirin Frosch Tits of the Day

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In trying to bring more value to each of these posts I do, because saying “I don’t know who this bitch is” is boring for me, as much as it is for you.

Or me saying the same rant of how girls who want to be famous models are vapid uninteresting narcisstic fucks, but are often times worth looking at naked, cuz they are girls….who are naked…is repetitive.

We can assume any girl in front of a camera is a whore, unless she’s on the news being interviewed as a witness or on the street or begging for you to help her find her daughter….otherwise they are on camera for attention.

So for this girl, I decided to learn a bit more about her, by reading her BIO and picking out the best parts to show you just how much substance she is…

So who is she?

Schirin Frosch is German model and photographer, born on 11 February 1993. She has established herself in the fashion industry through her hard work and amazing personality. She was young when she started her modeling career.

26 is pretty fucking old in model years, so I’ll assume this is the last push cuz if you haven’t made it by 29, you gotta just go straight sugar baby, and if you’re not a legit model when you go straight sugar baby, you’ve limited your pool of dudes who want to own girls to millionaire not billionaire…and selling yourself short like that is so disappointing. So get those tits out….

Now to the substance, you know what she’s about….

The best thing about the modeling career is that she gets to meet a lot of new people. This also helps in keeping herself surrounded with friends. Her role model is her mother; she is always in contact with her. Her celebrity crush is Margot Robbie.

She’s got terrible taste in celebrities….but the best thing about modeling is the meeting of new people, to advance your career, and some of those new people are rich, even famous dudes…great to get knocked up by for quality of life and such….

She misses lakes and mountains from her home town. The best way for her to relax is being at the beach; for her, there is nothing better than being at the beach. She doesn’t like the coldness in Europe, this is why she loves to be in Australia for Spring.

Well, that’s some depth right there….I had no idea the struggles of an aspiring model..you know leaving the lakes and mountains of Germany to SPRING in Australia….that is some fucking sacrifice right there..what won’t these girls do to get ahead / a rich dude to knock them up…

The best line is:

Because of her personality, she is able to leave a lasting impression on others. This will help her advance in her modeling career.

Yes…it is because of her personality, not her willingness to show tit in photoshoots for the public, and who the fuck know what she’s willing to do behind the fucking scenes…

I mean even when I try, I go back to all models are sex workers, it’s so deeply wired into me that I can’t even try to come up with another storyline….

Here are those pics..

Posted in:Schirin Frosch

2019

01

Oct

Dillon Duchesne Tits of the Day

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Despite popular belief – DILLON DUCHESNE – is not actually a Duchess. She’s not royalty. She’s not Megan Markle…not that anything DILLON DUCHESNE does warrants popular belief or popular opinion. She has 15k followers on social media so she barely exists. No one is thinking DILLON DUCHESNE is a Duchess.

I just wrote that because I am given very little information about the context of these photoshoots, so I automatically assume it is some gil trying to get attention, because why else would she get in front of a camera like that, average girls are insecure and hate having their pic taken, so those who are doing photoshoots they legit prep for are a little too eager, confident, narcisstic, into themselves for my liking.

With a real DEEP dive into DILLON DUCHESNE (looking at her IG, where she calls herself Dill Pickle, which is more a tribute to things she’s willing to insert for the right dollar amount on her private snap) I’ve found nothing worth mentioning. Oh right, she’s a “model” with a “agent” who does “photoshoots”….

So I can either critique the photoshoot itself, you know for being boring, I can critique society as a whole for encouraging this shit, I can try to relate to it with personal stories of photoshoots I’ve been on, or sex workers I’ve known, or I can talk about her last name in the dumbest of ways…

I guess you know which angle I went with. Lots of planning goes into each and every one of these here posts.