DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

13

Aug

Bella Thorne Bikini Dance of the Day

Bella Thorne is a very important and relevant pop culture icon who is just 20 years old…like a Kardashian, or a Kylie Jenner, but on the other spectrum of annoying…where instead of being rich and knocked up, she’s running her own brand out of her expensive house that Disney Money got her…and now that Social Media money is making her….a brand based on being a weirdo crackhead raver chick who never leaves the house…but that understands the power of the internet…building out brands, manipulating young people to steal their parents credit card to buy shit they don’t need to support her in her quest of weirdness…and as it turns out…they make bikinis, because bikinis are easy to promote…like the puppet master she is…since people like seeing disney kids half naked…especially ones with fat tits…

Annoying or not…she’s in a bikini.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Charlotte McKinney Bikini of the Day

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Charlotte McKinney and her massive breasts are still around, still not famous, or celebrity tits, but that were on Dancing with the Stars, despite still not being a star even after that show, so how the hell did she get on that show in the first place – I JUST DO NOT KNOW or get it…

But I can assume it was hypnotization, some sorcery, some spells, some witchcraft that is not so complicated of a spell, it just involves pointing to her massive tits and saying “I’m a star, put me on the show” to which men lose all capacity of thought, or function, on some stroke like level of retardation and say yes to everything she says….these are the ultimate barter chips in a negotiation…I mean…LOOK AT THEM….they are massive…

She could be ugly as fuck, but still amazing and can be carried on her tits alone, so she’s winning at life…born better off than many and not just cuz her dad is a tax evader from the Bahamas who raised her in Florida..but because of the MONSTER JUICY TITS.

Charlotte McKinney Bikini for Instagram 2

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Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Jennifer Lopez Hard Nipples of the Day

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This is Jennifer Lopez saying she’s more than just an ass, she’s also some tits with hard nipples that I guess she got when she got pregnant with Skeletor’s baby…

She is applying the same logic as she applied to over achieving in the entertainment industry, she can sing, she can act, she can dance, she can manipulate rich men, she can win over producers, she can do a fake Hispanic American accent and pretend to be relatable to her people…who buy into her because their own American government doesn’t acknowledge them and they need something from the country they have passports from to give them a beacon of hope.

J.Lo nipples are all part of her fucking scamming.

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Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Heather Graham Bikini of the Day

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Heather Graham, like Halle Berry before her, would have been an interesting personality to see if she came up, while dudes were cumming on her, early in her career, on social media….because she has professionally been naked or half naked as often as possible or as often as necessary which has allowed for her to exist…all big titty and the jerk off material needed in movies to keep said movies interesting….who you know had these epic tits that she knew at a young age would get her famous if she fucked the right producer or actor rather than do porn or strip locally….

But if it happened in this era, she’d be competing with all the other tits to be seen and jerked off to, not just the ones that the producers selected for us to see, in democratic tit selection….

Because at 40 something and rich and famous, she’s already getting half naked on her feed….imagine if she was just trying to get seen, noticed, and known….there’d be hotel shower pics of her asshole…I believe it.

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Posted in:Heather Graham|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Sia Topless Painted Tits of the Day

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Sia is a 42 year old hipster, raver, party girl, electronic music weirdo who has been around for a long fucking time, best known for her solo album and her videos of little girls from Dance Moms dancing creepily, but was previously a songwriter for a bunch of people….her biggest song probably TITANIUM by David Guetta that all kinds of cheesy club bros probably play at pool parties in their short shorts and think is a classic….

I know people like Sia, who are the same age as Sia and who grew up in the electronic music scene doing lots of drugs….I remember raves in the early 90s, and I remember the more sophisticated “acid jazz” music people who would show up at those raves…like SIA…

So the happy and sad titty face pic is on the level of obscure you’d expect, but that we collectively can say despite being cheesy reaching try hard even though she’s made it shit, and despite being old tit, it’s still big tits…and that’s the kind of art I can appreciate even if I think all art is bullshit lies…

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Posted in:SIA

2018

13

Aug

Rita Ora Gets Wet of the Day

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Rita Ora without facetune, has the body of a 45 year old dad who was once an athlete but threw all that away to drink beer and question how his life ended up this way….all gut in clothes that are too tight for him because he doesn’t want to admit that he’s got a 45 inch waist….and that he’s still got that studly youthful big dick energy that will rope in all the bitches the second his wife gets out of the way long enough for him to make it happen…only to realize that he’s lost all he ever had to offer…but delusion is a wonderful thing….

What I am saying is that Rita Ora has a belly…which explains why she’s got huge tits….that when naked and angled properly…is just wonderful to look at…so wonderful it gives the bitch work and has finally given her at least one hit song….

Rita Ora Ass and Tits Getting Wet in Bikini 3

Here she is getting gay with Cara Delevingne

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Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Lily Rose Depp Hard Nipples of the Day

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Lily Rose Depp has some young perky tits with hard nipples, something that you can see every time you leave the house, whether at the Grocery Store or the Hardware Store or the Coffee Shop….cashiers still exist…

The difference is that our favorite set of cankles, is a rich kid, with a very famous dad, so by default, according to the structure of American heirarchy…and at least she looks good….good genetics you know…

I think there’s a cameltoe going on in her shorts, which would make sense as these things happen in tight shorts…but so rarely happen with young rich kids for the paparazzi, famous for being famous people….that we must CELEBRATE it.

WORSHIP YOUR LORD LILY ROSE DEPP.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Lily Rose Depp|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Ireland Baldwin Tits of the Day

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Here’s some Glamour Shots of Ireland Baldwin….because she’s trying to make it as a model and has been for a while, because that’s what these entitled spoiled rich people with famous parents do…

Unfortunately for Ireland, she started out as a surfer beach girl, and went dark…lesbian, in and out of rehab….while her cousin, the Jesus Freak, rode the name, hung out with the Jenners and Bieber, and with the power of GOD….She is now engaged to her soul mate, living it up in Canada having some Timmies, a little DOUBLE DOUBLE piss water since they obviously can’t drink….JESUS doesn’t like drunks…but then again they are rich, empty souled humans from very empty homes living very empty existences but at least they are rich!

I don’t know if Ireland has accepted Jesus Christ into her life after he Cousin tried to win her back to the light, I don’t even know if they hang out or if they hate each other, I just know Ireland lost her glory to Haley, and is still living in the shadow of Haley and her own parents…but she’s trying to be the light that shines through…she will overcome all the dark thoughts and feelings…cuz she’s fucking rich so who cares.

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Posted in:Ireland Baldwin|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Alexandra Daddario Panty Flash of the Day

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Alexandra Daddario is known for her tits, but trying to diversify and have you know her for something else, like her pussy in panties…white panties…that are miraculously not stained because she’s one of those famous types who knew she was going out in an outfit like this and that she’d need to shower before, gotta avoid the crust that comes with being tits on tv, trying to be legitimate on tv….pressure people…pressure.

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Posted in:Alexandra Daddario|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Kimberley Garner Cameltoe of the Day

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Based on Kimberly Garner’s fame on social media…that you’d expect to be higherfrom being on that UK reality show

She has one fan, and that fan is me.

I do posts on this fame seeking muppet on the regular, and I have for a long time, and it is not to say that this site is mainstream or pop culture relevant…I figure I get a handful of perverts here a day but I just keep it alive because why the fuck not….I have nothing better to do…

But in keeping it alive, I can still see who gets hits, likes, links, comments, whatever…and this bitch…is one of the LEAST viewed on the site…

So not of you perverts like her or her cameltoe and that’s mean…I call racism…but she’s white Aryan looking, but maybe you’re against her cuz of the UK…

I don’t have the answers. Just the pics.

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Posted in:Kimberley Garner|SFW