Obviously, every award show roles around and I say that shit’s for old people who still have TV…
That’s not to say I don’t like movies, I just don’t like the cunts in movies after the movies, with all their money fame and egos…
I am pretty glad Lala Land didn’t win, but Oscar So White was top priority as they scramble to stay relevant…but like social media and shit, the only way to do that is with a meme, hashtag, publicity stunt……OR……controversy…
It’s an archaic, incestuous, masturbatory experience in “let’s celebrate our goddamn selves with trophies that market our movies and elevate us as a whole”…and whatever…it happened…and bitches were there in dresses….despite all being hookers who did some shit to be famous….
Maybe I’m just bitter I wasn’t invited, I am not part of the “it” crowd, I am not nominated or giving speeches to rooms full of my peers saying “i’m the best, I’m the best, I’m the best”….But I figure staring at the overrated pussy in pics is a better way to go about these things….
Hailee Steinfeld was there in a sheer, but not quite sheer enough dress….looking skinnier than ever – cuz skinny is better…
Emma Roberts was there in a skimpy top for her skimpy tits…all ginger and average looking….all skinny and not fat….which is a good thing.
Emma Stone, I didn’t even look to see if she won, but she probably did, even though she’s terrible, but it is her time….to shine….the belle of the ball..trying to be classically beautiful with the Botox face….and still rocking that weird mouth….I don’t hate her for existing, I just think she’s an overrated average at best chick who has tricked you all…and I’m right…
Here she is at some Oscar party in some pantsuit with her stupid looking mouth…
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Salma Hayek was There with a Botox Mangled Face and Some Very Fertile…like the virgin soil on her Mexican Citrus and Avacado farm….
Chrissy Teigen Was there – Medicated and in a sheer top – cuz she’s a hooker who seduced the right wallet and now gets invited to Oscars as the escort….
Jessica Biel was there – dressed like a Trophy – Cuz She’s the Trophy Wife – Getting Older and Older….Rotting even….
Here butt shots…
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Kirsten Dunst Was there – Cuz She Didn’t Die of a Drug Overdose Yet….Her Snaggle Tooth was her date, but she kept her mouth shut so we don’t get to see the source of her super powers…
Alicia Vikander was there…because she’s the Naked AI you nerds want to fuck….oh and sshe’s won an Oscar before…
OH SHIT…Scar Jo….so Iconic with her lesbian hair…
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Big Girl Big Star Charlize Theron….is old…but the guy who she fucked for her first part will always remember her big break…she probably blocked it out…it’s been so long….
Brie Larson – Big WInner Last Year was there….and she’s back…
Brie Larson in the best Hair and Make-Up her celebrity money can by – is so fucking basic looking, so average, like how is she not a waitress at Denys…what is this shit…
Felicity Jones Was There – I don’t know who the fuck that is – but I’d Let her Suck My Dick for the Part….
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Sofia Carson – I Don’t know who the fuck that is – but I’d Let her Suck My Dick for a Role….
Dakota – Thank God her Mom is Melanie Griffith – Johnson – was there, obviously…her mom got her tickets…..
White Girl Pretending to be Black – Halle Berry – Oscar Winner – Was There with her Ethnic Hair…because Oscars So White needs more color..
Nicole Kidman is Still a Fucking Robot…
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Milana Vayntrub is some monster but she’s amazing…I don’t know what Oscar Party it was…but it was the right one…
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Amy Adams and her Tits Were there….
Ryan Gosling’s sister, who is likely old and chubby, but has fat girl tits, and shows her fat girl tits, for attention was there…and it was magical…she’s gone viral – she’s now a MEME…..
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Posted in:Events|Oscars|SFW