DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

18

Jul

Ali Larter Bikini of the Day

Ali Larter is only interesting to me because in the 90s, Esquire magazine decide dto create a fake celebrity using their magazine as the platform to create the fake celebrity, and it basically turned her into a real, not necessarily hugely famous, celebrity.

It’s a viral troll I’ve wanted to do with this site, but I never was able to get the site relevant enough to create a fake celebrity, so why bother, let Esquire do it in the 90s with Ali Larter for me…..

I only knew this about her recently, thanks to my DEEP dive on WIKIPEDIA, but it made her WHIPPED CREAAM BIKINI a little more amazing, unless I’m confused and it wasn’t even her in the WHIPPED CREAM BIKINI, I don’t really work in facts…

Well, she’s now in an actual bikini, not a WHIPPED CREAM BIKINI, because she’s old and the WHIPPED CREAM has done gone sour…it’s more like WHIPPED powdered milk you drink cuz you’re poor and it’s all you can afford, you know bottom of the barrel dairy….but I’m still lookin’..

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Posted in:Ali Larter|Ali Larter

2023

18

Jul

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, because repetition is not necessarily a sign of craziness, but it’s a sign of craziness, and I’m fucking LOCO bro.

But yeah, the bikini was the intro to so much internet whoredom, where ladies would see all the hype other girls posting bikinis got and want to post their own bikini pics to feel like they fit in….so they’d turn to health, wellness, eating disorders, starvation, LIPO, filters, fillers and the other trash on the internet all to be best prepared to put their best bikini pic forward, realizing how much traction they got compared to their other bullshit, realizing they should focus on that.

Even celebrities like Hayek are open about “My bikini pics do so well, you clearly like them, so here’s another bikini pic, even though I’m old as shit”….because bikini pics work, we’re perverts, they are exhibitionists and the stats and views validate them, and the stats and views on bikini pics are higher….so they realize “that’s the content stream, that’s the hustle, that’s the money”….and it’s a gateway to viral success, ONLYFANS success, Porn success…you know the dipping a toe into getting jerked off to while pretending it’s an innocent bikini pic, which is hot.

(more…)

Posted in:swimsuit

2023

17

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

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Maybe I am old, crotchety, bitter, angry, jaded, confused demented, not drunk enough, not on enough anti-depressants, motherfucker who is like “In my day, people were humans” but the reality is that it’s like the fucking twilight zone out there.

I feel like I am one of those motherfuckers they made movies about, who woke from a coma 20 years later only to see everything around him totally fucking weird…only I’ve been awake all this time, I mean sure, you could argue it was a coma, I am out of touch, but I’ve been pretty aware of all that is going on all this time, yet I am still shocked to get out there and see all these fucking zombies on their phones, not paying attention to anything around them, face-timing or on the selfie cam, producing CONTENT like CONTENT creators, or just being less proactive and walking around in the spandex outfits Kim Kardashian told them to wear…

From teens in skimpy clothes doing humpty hump dances with each other, to text book generic lesbians from the instagram feed, to the THOT in the wrestling outfit too fat for the wrestling outfit, to the sugar baby in her designer clothes an old fat guy who wouldn’t get laid without money bought her….

Everyone is the same level of autistic, robot, soulless and empty, unable to recognize a joke or have a random conversation…it’s the real life version of the internet, where internet is life, is fucking crazy…..

I am sure there are still some decent people detached from the Matrix out there, but it’s by far the minority…

So here, more internet links for you ZOMBIE fucks, ya’ll are fucking weirdos…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Barbie Movie Edit with Tits!
LICK HERE!!!!

Daniella Hemsley the Flashing Boxer
LICK HERE!!!!

Megan Fox Climbs Up a Tree
LICK HERE!!!!

Sofia Vergara in a Thong Bikini
LICK HERE!!!!

Jennifer Connelly in a Bikini on a Boat
LICK HERE!!!!

Lindsay Lohan Made her First Baby
LICK HERE!!!!

Kelly Gale’s Topless Swim
LICK HERE!!!!

Vanessa Hudgens Fans Hate her Fiance
LICK HERE!!!!

Heidi Klum Bikinis on Vacation
LICK HERE!!!!

Izabel Goulart’s Bikini Ass
LICK HERE!!!!

Kate Upton Joins Threads – Posts an SI Swim Thong Bikini Picture
LICK HERE!!!!

Rihanna Topless and Pregnant for Vogue
LICK HERE!!!!

Wimbeldon Winner in a Bikini
LICK HERE!!!!

Emma Roberts at an Event in a Tight Dress
LICK HERE!!!!

102 Year Old Dancer Sees herself on Film
LICK HERE!!!!

Woman Buys Hammock for her Backyard Bears
LICK HERE!!!!

Em Rata Showing Some Skin
LICK HERE!!!!

Camille Kostek Do Barbie and Ken
LICK HERE!!!!

Alessandra Ambrosio in a Swimsuit
LICK HERE!!!!

7 Best Anime of All Time
LICK HERE!!!!

J.Lo Panty Flasher
LICK HERE!!!!

Acrobatic Girl Tries Escaping the Cops
LICK HERE!!!!

Katie Sigmond Bikini in Australia
LICK HERE!!!!

Dua Lipa as Mermaid Barbie
LICK HERE!!!!

Truck Fails
LICK HERE!!!!

Emily Feld’s Back in a Bikini
LICK HERE!!!!

Livvy Dunne Spotted with Justin Jefferson
LICK HERE!!!!

7 Mistakes Women Make in their 20s
LICK HERE!!!!

Topless Stefanie Giesinger Topless for Tush
LICK HERE!!!!

Timelapse of a Person Transforming into Nebula
LICK HERE!!!!

College Basketball Player Hannah White Brings her Best Barbie
LICK HERE!!!!

Monkey Cracks Nuts
LICK HERE!!!!

CCTV. Catches Car Falling from Bridge
LICK HERE!!!!

Lottie Moss Flashes the Nipple
LICK HERE!!!!

Jordyn Woods Strips Down in the Desert
LICK HERE!!!!

Kasia Smtniak nude in Domina
LICK HERE!!!!

Kitten Attacks German Shepherd
LICK HERE!!!!

How Gas Nozzles Know Your Car is Full
LICK HERE!!!!

Lionel Messi’s Wife is a Hit in Miami
LICK HERE!!!!

Man Unleashes Dodge Rap TRX Launch Control
LICK HERE!!!!

Danica Patrick Bikinis in Capri
LICK HERE!!!!

Thomasin McKenzie Busty
LICK HERE!!!!

Ironman Flipbook Art
LICK HERE!!!!

The Giant Water Lily
LICK HERE!!!!

Making 20 kinds of Cheeses
LICK HERE!!!!

July’s Penthouse Pet
LICK HERE!!!!

Sophia Culpo in a Bikini
LICK HERE!!!!

Why does the USA Hate Bidets
LICK HERE!!!!

Giant Beetle Flapping Wings Sounds Crazy
LICK HERE!!!!

Is Shakira Dating Jimmy Butler
LICK HERE!!!!

New York Plastic Surgeon Doing the Barbie Makeover
LICK HERE!!!!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Where the WHALE’s AT…..MAKE ME RICH OFF THE BACK OF THESE CAM GIRLS
LICK HERE!!!!

===============
From the Forum

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Jennifer Connelly on a Boat in a Bikini
LICK HERE!!!!

Jordana Brewster in a Bikini
LICK HERE!!!!

Heidi Klum Bikinis
LICK HERE!!!!

More Heidi Klum Bikinis
LICK HERE!!!!

Keirnan Shipka on Strike
LICK HERE!!!!

Elsie HEwitt at an Event
LICK HERE!!!!

Gwyneth Paltrow Whoring Out her Daughter
LICK HERE!!!!

Jennifer Lopez Panty Flash
LICK HERE!!!!

Dua Lipa Shopping!
LICK HERE!!!!

Sammy Hanratty on Strike
LICK HERE!!!!

Samara Weaving on Strike
LICK HERE!!!!

Margot Robbie at the Barbie Premiere
LICK HERE!!!!

Joey King Protesting
LICK HERE!!!!

Madison Pettis at an Event
LICK HERE!!!!

Sydney Sweeney in a Magazine
LICK HERE!!!!

Emrata at an Event
LICK HERE!!!!

===============
From stepSMUT!!

(LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!)
===============

Drive Thru Fuck
LICK HERE!!!!

Pierced Shower Tits
LICK HERE!!!!

Baby Got Back
LICK HERE!!!!

Anal Ring Toss at the Party
LICK HERE!!!!

Naughty Nun Spreads her Legs
LICK HERE!!!!

The Rise and Fall of a Meth Cumstar
LICK HERE!!!!

8 Acts that Make You a Whore
LICK HERE!!!!

Tessa Fowler VIBE On the Pussy
LICK HERE!!!!

Hot Reddit Amateur
LICK HERE!!!!

She’s Pool Shark
LICK HERE!!!!

Retarded Moments in Porn
LICK HERE!!!!

Jodeenasty on the Dildo
LICK HERE!!!!

At Work Masturbating
LICK HERE!!!!

Public Dick Suck
LICK HERE!!!!

28 Shit Days
LICK HERE!!!!

Amateur Fucks
LICK HERE!!!!

Wendys Breaktime
LICK HERE!!!!

I Wonder What the Fuck is Wrong with this CUNT
LICK HERE!!!!

That Was Unexpected
LICK HERE!!!!

Bubble Butt _ Doggy Styled
LICK HERE!!!!

Train Station Masturbation
LICK HERE!!!!

Two Sets of Big Tits
LICK HERE!!!!

MENTAL MONDAYS
LICK HERE!!!!

Outdoor Fucking
LICK HERE!!!!

The Wine Girl is the Sommelier
LICK HERE!!!!

Borrowing the Dog Toy
LICK HERE!!!!

Big Ass Gets a Fuck
LICK HERE!!!!

Naked Katya Clover
LICK HERE!!!!

Flexible Isabel
LICK HERE!!!!

OH My Gord
LICK HERE!!!!

Freaky Friday
LICK HERE!!!!

Rhubarb Pie
LICK HERE!!!!

Slum Fights
LICK HERE!!!!

Seashells in the Pussy Shore
LICK HERE!!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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Posted in:stepLINKS

2023

17

Jul

Britney Spears Rides a Horse of the Day

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The people who run Britney Spears’ account, which I don’t think are Britney Spears, despite her being “free”….since I’m convinced she’s in captivity or dead and whatever this person is, is just a body double, or an AI generated image…

Hey AI, produce picture of Britney Spears on a horse on the beach….because the public are not buying that this feed is really her, or that she is alive, or that she’s free…because all the pics are shot in her living room, from the same angle, on the same phone and sometimes in the same outfit..

Hey AI, let’s create a VACATION moment for Britney Spears, so that people think she’s on a tropical getaway, horseback riding, doing thing FREE people do.

It’s all very weird, but hot tits in a bikini top…whoever the body double, or AI generated image, or actual Britney living her best free life MAY be…

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Posted in:Britney Spears|Britney Spears

2023

17

Jul

Ashley Benson Tits of the Day

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I just don’t find Ashley Benson hot and her big tits are really not that great.

I get that Billionaire Brandon Davis has bought her, will use her to spread his Oil Tycoon Heir seed, but I’m just not into the lazy, dumpy, super famous from one shitty show starlet with the big tits, who for the better part of a decade had a big everything else, because she was lazy…

Sure she’s not more fit than she was, her tits still big enough, maybe they got her on the right meds, or the testosterone from the billionaire loads she’s taking have adjusted her hormones…but the whole fair weather lesbian with Cara Delvingne thing….just fake and gay….but more fake than gay….

These actors are identity crisis freaks pushing bullshit agendas on their followers….

I recently saw a video of her saying “don’t turn me on” to Delevingne after Delevigne said “I Just at your ass for 20 minutes” wasn’t really hot to me, it was vile, demonic and weird and ya know, that translates and crosses over to her titty pics…the deep rooted distain for these people can not be overlooked when staring at the tits, yet I will still stare at the tits…

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Posted in:Ashley Benson

2023

17

Jul

Millie Bobby Brown Bikini Top of the Day

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I did not watch Stranger Things, that shit was fucking fake and gay and the fact that the world embraced it as hard as they did, you know harder than any woman’s ever embraced my cock, even angrily, you know harder than they embrace a Taylor Swift concert tour, an experimental VACCINE (Had to throw that in), other HIVE mind shit that you look at and say, “God, people are really followers and have no opinion of their own now do they”…..

So I didn’t get the whole Mille Bobby Brown appeal, but seeing as she was like 10 years old when the show came out, the fact that her 18th birthday was a celebration to dudes everywhere, was a little disturbing, especially in these times….

It wasn’t like she was going to jump into porn the next day, or show her tits and asshole, and it’s a little weird to have crushes on characters from TV you’ve watched from 12 years old….but AT least some of you waited until she turned 18 to get it done….

Anyway, she’s likely in her 20s by now, she marrying Bon Jovi’s kid, which we hope doesn’t include Bon Jovi singing at her wedding, since Bon Jovi fucking sucks, and she’s been rocking bikinis on the regular, with tits out, bigger than you’d expect, since the last time a non-stranger things person saw her, she was 12….

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Posted in:Millie Bobby Brown

2023

17

Jul

Rowan Blanchard Tits of the Day

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I may not find Rowan Blanchard hot, but she’s a quirky Disney Kid who they decided to send to Brooklyn to sexualize her and create a more adult version of her, which didn’t end up interfering with her celebrity status, because when you’re IN, you’re fucking IN bro, until you expose them for the weird shit they do, then you die of an overdose, car accident, plane crash, etc. It’s a big money industry, fucked up things happen…most more fucked up as Rowan Blanchard’s new found cleavage….

Did the sexualized Brooklyn hipster who gets racy in photoshoots she does with friends get some BOLT ONS, did she get a new BIRTH CONTROL pill, did she start eating cake because her handlers want her pushing the plus sized fatty agenda and her job as an actor is to act ALL the time….or is it a pushup bra, has she always had the tits that I didn’t notice because I always thought she was weird looking….

DO we care? I don’t care Do you Care?

I’m a grown man talking about a 20 year old’s new found cleavage, I mean that’s where the REAL issue lies…

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Posted in:Rowan Blanchard

2023

17

Jul

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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Naughty Nurses aren’t just for the doctors they are trying to seduce on the job, because part of being a nurse instead of a stripper was to command the respect of high paid doctors, at least enough to execute some home wrecking, since they have similar interests, like making money off sick people…

Where as the whole stripping thing would likely land you a few lap dances from doctors in town on a conference, but never an actually homewrecking situation you’d want to get that ultimate medical worker life, maximizing the money made of sick people…

Luckily, thanks to the internet, us non-doctors can experience what doctors experience between surgeries, since any close-knit community or long hour job, filled with people who think they are important or heroes, especially when they are perpetual students, will end in some level of sleaze….whether doing the hospital drugs recreationally, or fucking in the morgue, shit goes down…and NOW they aren’t even hiding it, they are rubbing it in our faces!

You know that medical bill you got where getting a tylenol cost 10k, well, this is what the bitch does the rest of the hour and it’s lovely, disgusting, shameless, and perfect…

I mean I only want to go to the hospital where medical workers embrace this tradition, where NUDES are their oath to the patients…..I mean it makes an otherwise shitty place to be easier to jerk off to.

(more…)

Posted in:NURSES

2023

17

Jul

Olivia Holt Upside Down Bikini of the Day

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As it turns out, this is Olivia Holt and Madison Iseman showing the fans how they got hired at a teen pool party hosted by some pervert executive who knew that once he made it hard enough to afford a pool, that that pool would be used to cast the next big star…

You know, strip down to the bikini and do hand stands, ass first so that we can see the fitness, the gymanstics, the strength and the clenched ass holding them up….

I find it interesting that TWO created for the industry know the same trick…SUSPICIOUS…

Madison Iseman was in the “I know what you did last summer” series you didn’t know existed, along with Jumani’s latest iterations.

Olivia Holt is some Disney kid…now 25.

Both perverted enough to make this perverted shit for you perverts! It’s called MARKETING!

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Posted in:Olivia Holt

2023

17

Jul

Milf Monday of the Day

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MILFs as a concept has been bastardized by the porn industry, and by self proclaimed MILFs alike, by assuming that just because an old bitch who looks like a mom or in some cases like a grandma, with a body that’s of a mom or in some cases a grandma, but if you’re lucky is still pretty fit falls into the MILF category….

What they neglect to realize is that MILF is actually a very PERSONAL thing, not a catch all category like ANAL, so it’d be better named as “Old Tired Bitch with Kids”….or “MOMS”….because the I is the PERSONALiZATION of the experience, meaning that some MILFs are worthy of a fuck, while others are just too MILF to stomach…

You see a MILF is the familiarity of LEFT OVERS, someone’s already got into this shit when it was fresh, but there’s still some left that tastes good enough to me, in some cases even better than when it was first pulled out of the oven because the flavors have settled…sometimes, leftovers are just rotten.

A MILF is like hiring an old timer ski instructor on your ski trip to show you the ropes, you feel that his experience outweighs his physical prowess, but sometimes that old fuck is demented….

On paper, a MILF is a no bullshit, down to fuck, ready to fuck, willing to workout because she feels like shit about her baby body, kind of legging wearing almost a babe in the grocery store….but then you realize that she’s only fucking you because there’s something wrong with her, and those leggings are actually compression leggings holding her all together.

I am not anti-the MILF, but the right kind of MILF is one still with husband, not a divorcee, raising her damn kids, while the other MILFs are just disappointments….even if they are occassionally hot…

So yeah, I have mixed emotions when it comes to MILFS and here are a bunch of self proclaimed MILFs…