DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

08

Aug

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

Tiny Tits are titties too….in many cases they are the more important tit, the more fun tit, the more personality tit, because they need to do more circus tricks and performances to get noticed that strictly having big tits…

Big tits are the lazy tit, the don’t have to do much tit, the there because they are big and people will look at them tit….while tiny tits, still valid tits, have to really go above and beyond to get seen, noticed, appreciated in all their tiny glory…

Chicks will get implants thinking they can be the fat lazy tit they always wanted to be, not realizing that with a little creativity, the tiny tit can be just as appreciated as the big lazy tit, even in this world of titty obsession, because of one simple reason…THEY ARE TITS TOO…

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Posted in:TINY TITS

2023

08

Aug

Suki Waterhouse Lace Bodysuit of the Day

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Suki Waterhouse is pretty hilarious, it’s like girl tries every fucking angle to get famous and the people still don’t give a fuck, but I guess she sees progress and that’s what matters…

The girl started as a party girl with Cara Delevingne in the UK, where they both were brought into modelling as socialite party girls who had moms who bought a lot of the product from the designers and pushed the designers to use the daughters as models, which worked out better for Cara because Suki is just garbage…even her name is stupid….

The girl then decided to be an actress, has done some real garbage movies, low level straight to DVD if DVDs still existed, streaming crap….and no one fucking cared….so she started fucking A-list Brad Cooper, who couldn’t be bothered and dropped her for Irina because she’s just that impressive….

So she went back to more acting, eventually landing on Robert Pattison of Twilight’s dick and for some reason, somewhere along the way, she became a singer….that no one cares about…

She had a gig at Lollapaloooza for the LOOZAS, if you know what I mean, like who goes to that shit anyway, and I am sure that’s a big deal for her dreams of pop stardom, like a legitimate talented artist but it was likely from pulling some strings with people who control this shit and can make her a star with the right hit….she’s not there yet, she may never quite be there, but in marketing herself she put on a lace outfit with her tits out to ensure her music was noticed and listened to….

It’s like she probably iced the nips before the big stage show, you know cuz it’s all contrived, but maybe she’s just horny from being on stage, since clearly it’s a fetish on some level because she keeps on trying it out in various ways, none ever quite hit, but she’s on stage at a festival, so it kind of hit…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Suki Waterhouse

2023

08

Aug

Jojo Swimsuit of the Day

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Jojo with the big tits is out here in a bikini, as girls with big tits tend to do, especially when they are rich girls with big tits and can afford to go all the places in which you’d want to wear bikinis, like Florida or the Caribbean or even fancy places in Europe, despite being white trash from New Hampshire, Jojo can be hood rich in Europe like everyone else…

Jojo with the big tits is not doing much for the argument that girls with big tits always grow into their tits, you see because the big tits are just fat stores and when those fat stores get filled up, the fat needs to find other places to hang out like stomach, hips, saddlebags, legs….

That’s not to say that Jojo is TOO obese to stare at in her bikini, I’m staring, it’s a bikini, and there are far fatter chicks out there, it’s just to say that girl’s pretty fucking meaty which is unfortunately making her big tits a lot less impressive, since fat girls are supposed to have fat tits, it’s their only marketable skill, I mean that and sucking dick like it’s the dessert cart at the buffet…

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Posted in:Jojo Levesque

2023

08

Aug

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

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I am happy to report that the woman I was following around the grocery store because of her tight pants pulls so far up her ass I could see her asshole ridges, much like those pictures you see of girls at the gym, all doing their squats like it’s a porno or at least a softcore playboy movie from the 90s….only I don’t go to gyms, it gets in the way of my lazy obesity, I go to grocery stores where I can fuel said obesity with CHIPS and baked goods and the pussy is as prevalent…you see, pussy has to eat, and apparently some pussy is starving as it eats those tight pants trying to suffocate them out…

So yeah, I am happy to report that in my tight pant journey of stalking a girl with a fat pussy in a tight pants in the grocery store to see if she was buying for a family, a couple or for one..I noticed that at least 5 other dudes looked right at her cunt and smiled…

Meaning, we’re not all gay, we’re not all depleted of testosterone, we are not all scared to check out pussy when it is walking towards us, we are still wired to want to fuck said pussy and that was pretty amazing..

In this male feminist, don’t objectify women unless you pay for their nudes world….PUSSY still gets stared at….

There is still hope for biological PUSSY owners…..and for the dudes who still look at cunt when it’s in their fucking face….

VICTORY IS OURS…

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Posted in:Tight Pants

2023

08

Aug

Jessica Alba Cleavage of the Day

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Jessica Alba was definitely an overhyped whore in her 20s, back when she played the hottest actress in Hollywood, never getting naked or really even half naked, unless it was on the beach for the paparazzi…..the good old days, where the shameless whoring happened behind closed doors and occasionally for the paparazzi, before the world turned into a bunch of self producing smut distributors, taking the selfie cam fucking seriously, and taking ownership on their whore content without having to rely on the paparazzi to monetize off them, why let that immigrant in LA with a camera make money off their backs in exchange for publicity, when they can just monetize off themselves…

Anyway, Alba clearly understood the whole act of whoring herself, she was one of the first celebs to do the direct to consumer internet brand, not the first celeb to do direct to consumer products, but direct to consumer internet brands where she pretending to be CEO and not CHIEF EXTERNAL ORIFICE from having a few too many kids, actual CEO or some other vanity title to give the illusion that she was actually actively involved in her brand, besides just pushing the product on us like she used to push her tits on the execs who gave her acting work.

The point of the story is she’s got tits, I guess she’s selling lip gloss, and she’s doing it with those tits out, all seductive for an old weathered broad because that’s what WHORING is….

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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2023

08

Aug

Gal Gadot Cleavage of the Day

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Some people say that the Gal Gadot actress is some sort of psy-op sent from Israel to manipulate the minds of women into thinking that they can lead action movies as well as she did, all thanks to that Wonder Woman shit….

I don’t know if people actually say that, since I don’t talk to people, but I assume she’s some sort of intelligence agent hiding in plain sight, getting cast in movies because the producers get excited she’s from the motherland, only to get dirt on those producers at all the sex parties she attends with them, you know for the sake of intelligence gathering.

It is possible that she is just an actress who miraculously landed the huge movie opportunity, someone’s gotta land it why not her? Just a stars alligning situation….

So maybe the bros out there who are like “Gal Gadot is Hot” or “Gal Gadot has Tits” or “Wonder Woman’s never looked so good at 40” are right in not worrying about all the conspiracies around Gadot like a bunch of anti-semite Nazis…

JUST LOOK AT THE TITS….

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Posted in:Gal Gadot

2023

08

Aug

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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I am pretty repetitive, I realize that. One man can’t have enough thoughts to fill up a fucking website 5 days a week, 10 times a day, for 20 fucking years, it’s abnormal..

Not to mention, the only reason I update this fucking thing is out of habit, which I guess is arguably very similar to dementia ridden posts about the same shit with the same take…

This is a weekly gallery of bikini girls, or girls in swimsuits, swimming outfits, just not BURKINIS….because I like bikinis, I like swimsuits, I like girls stripped down to one layer of clothing between their cunts and my mouth, even if the only wet they are getting is by jumping in the piss filled pool.

The bikini is the only reason the internet exists and the internet is life, so thanks bikini, let’s look at some of you to keep things balanced for that sense of normalcy.

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Posted in:swimsuit

2023

07

Aug

Britney Spears or Britney Spears AI Still in Captivity of the Day

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I have never held a prostitute or even a random girl I’ve abducted in captivity in either a basement cell I’ve crafted, or a cabin in a remote location, or a shed out back, but if I did, I feel like the content we produced together, you know that’d I’d be jerking off to when we were not enjoying our time together because I have to spend my days working at the factory, or Walmart where I met her, trying to afford the luxuries of supporting or at least feeding a bitch locked in captivity under your watch, it’s probably very annoying and expensive….would have a similar feel to this, just pictures from the same corner of the room, on our CCTV camera trying on the various sexy outfits I buy her at Goodwill.

I don’t know if Britney Spears is alive, dead, in captivity, now AI, or a body double….I just know that her content gives off that energy, which for some of you will probably be pretty hot and bothered….a rich, famous, free superstar always in the same room in her house, is it even an actual room or just lazy greenscreen, is this current or from years ago, we’ll never know….but check out those tits..

Out of the last 15 pics, 2 were not in the same creepy room….because they were bikini pics…it’s all so weird…but who fucking cares…that’s a her problem….check out the tits.

Posted in:Britney Spears

2023

07

Aug

Milf Monday of the Day

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Since the whole purpose of being a woman is making babies…the whole MILF thing should be celebrated, but probably not when the MILF in question is being a whore, or getting naked for attention, or doing the other heathen things that women tend to do in this era of exhibitionism and perversion on the internet…

Sure, I like whores and exhibitionists, but figure that life should end when you have a kid, so that you should focus on that kid not growing up to be a retard in this world of retards, we need good kids to come through so that in 25 or 30 years we won’t be 90 year old victims to real fucking idiots….and when the mom is all self involved and feeling she deserves a life, or to be sexy, or to be jerked off to, or to fuck people who aren’t the kids dad, it’s just setting a bad presendence…

So when you fuck a mom, judge her for being a bad mom, because a good mom would be at home with the kids, because it wouldn’t be the “dad’s weekend”, the family would still be together…

When you jerk off to a mom, it’s a little less dramatic because mom’s have tits and pussy too and I guess can take nude selfies when they take their weekly mom bath, but it still seems like a sad thing for them to be doing instead of raising their kids properly…because sexual gratification is a little selfie…

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Posted in:Milf

2023

07

Aug

Chelsea Handler Swimsuit of the Day

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Chelsea Handler in her swimsuit, although an age appropriate swimsuit, since she’s old as shit and should keep that gunt, or APRON BELLY that normally comes with childbirth, something she skipped out on because she’s a self involved, career oriented cunt, stunted but will realize she made a huge mistake eventually…if she hasn’t already….since the whole purpose of being a woman is making babies…not doing it is some freakish shit that miserable women will try to defend, but we all know in their core they don’t mean it and the older they get and the dumpier they get in their body, realizing that they weren’t able to preserve their bodies, or their blown out pussies because instead of babies, they were taking cock to fill the void, which I guess had the same results on their limited elasticity thanks to aging…

What I am saying is that Chelsea Handler gamed the system into thinking she’s funny, by fucking the right comedic people, it’s an easy scene for a woman to break into and just talk fake sex stories about awkward thoughts while being eaten out for other women, relatable jokes you see…..

So in being old as shit, she’d be better if she had a kid, because it would at least justify her haggard body…if you know what I mean….

The kid is a good excuse, what’s you’re excuse NEVER GRANNY…but still lookin GRANNY…