DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

09

May

Grandma J.Lo in a Bikini of the Day

J.Lo is an old woman who doesn’t get that she’s old…or knows that she’s old and won’t accept that she’s old…because her ego makes her think she’s invincible, a superhero or a superpower…all while throwing herself down all of our throats, to adorning fans who don’t know better because they are probably her age or cultural background and she represents all that is good in the world to them….

I mean that and Gay Dudes…

Who the fuck else would care about J.Lo and her old lady, rich as fuck tits in a bikini, I mean unless you’re strategic and can make her a sugar momma, but we all know that you don’t have that skill set…so in reality….just stare at her tits, even if her showing tits represents all that is wrong with rich people not having anyone with a voice of reason to tell them to cover the fuck up and to phase out of the limelight gracefully..

This bitch will keep doing this til the end of fucking time…the worst.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:J.Lo|SFW

2016

09

May

Hilary Duff Thick Legs in a Red Dress of the Day

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Hilary Duff has some thick legs…but I figure why not give her a mother’s day post as the celebrity mom fans are still fucking obsessed with…despite the strong legs, which came in handy when she was acting as the pussy the entire hockey team her husband was on, you know to build team spirit…JOCKS…but thick legs that only perverts like all of us appreciate because we know how good they’d feel wrapped around our neck as our faces are buried into her mom pussy…and all it’s flappy flaps…

Historically, I am not into big legs…but who the fuck cares, it’s stuff by Hilary Duff…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

09

May

Taylor Hill in V Magazine of the Day

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This is my favorite shoot of the year…maybe even the last 5 years…

I don’t care if it’s forced, obviously it is forced, it’s a fucking photoshoot that they have to stage…and the concept in and of itself may come across as “trying to be edgy”…like so much of this bullshit…

But I think it’s awesome, not because Taylor Hill, the New Victoria’s Secret model they use to promote their sweatshop products to a generation of dumb as fuck kids married to their cellphones and social media..

I just like the location and the concept of bikini modeling in obscure out of place scenes…some low class suburban home with a 70s pleather couch with some fucking weirdo family…brilliant…seriously…

It takes a lot to impress me with shoots, I find everything so fucking cheesy and lame…I am bored of standard bikini pics and instagram style bullshit…I want more out of photos and this hit the mark…

I know that no one is out there trying to impress me and that I lack little more to the world that “look at these slutty hooker tits craving attention”…but that’s because I’m forced to consume such garbage that you know brands pay tons of money for….at least with this…there’s something going on and it’s great..

I don’t believe in ART, art is lame, but I think the basis of art is to evoke something more than “tits of a hooker”…and V Magazine, the KARDASHIAN promoting fame whore magazine did good…..

Sidenote, I once won a V magazine male model challenge, because the site used to have traffic and people voted for me….They never gave me my prize…so I hate them…but this shoot..is good.

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Hill

2016

09

May

Irina Shayk Does Lingerie of the Day

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Irina Shayk is the best model in existence…I mean that may be an overstatement but she’s really fucking hot and I understand why the A Lister womanizers like Brad Cooper who can – and probably do fuck every pussy that comes along – would label her as TOP PUSSY. She’s awesome…

The fact that she’s a Russian and has made it out into the world of Luxury and celebrity – rather than working the sex trade – probably means she’s charming and intelligent despite being a soulless Russian…because I assume the other hot Russians are still trying to fight over overpriced Levis Jeans and Michael Jackson records…smuggled behind the iron curtain…Communism.

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2016

09

May

Bella Thorne is on Snapchat of the Day

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The Bella Thorne narrative I have created in my delusional never leave my house existence that some would consider delusional, bi polar, schizophrenic…even crazy….as I post nonsense about nonsense people that the media feeds us everyday…but that I would argue is just an objective perception of what is really going on here…

Now I call her 40, pretending to be 18, because 18 is scandalous and speaks to the dicks that follow on social media, jacking up her numbers, while they jack off to her…

Realistically, she’s probably mid to late 20s, and the last of the family of stage show parent hippies with the carnival caravan from Florida with names like Bella and Dani – at fame…and it’s working…

So she’s grown up with whoring ingrained in her core…and here she is doing it in a way that she is still marketable and hireable…but still milking the same tactics a nobody spreading her ass on social does…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

09

May

Heather Marks in Bathing Suits for Glamour Germany of the Day

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Heather Marks is a Canadian model. I haven’t met her at the yearly Canada party, where Canada comes together and drinks maple syrup and build igloos while seal hunting and fucking french trashy sluts….no one seems to care about, because Canada.

But someone seems to care about Heather Marks, because hot model…..

You see if you’re a hot model who gets half naked for your career, that anyone with a brain will know is hardly a career, but more standing around in exotic and luxurious places posing until a rich guy notices…you have no borders…you are international…

Which is probably why she’s in Glamour Germany…

Too big for the people back home, too expensive for our currency, so my poutine gravy will never drip down her inner thigh, but if I print this pics up, I can recreate for 10 cents and less headaches of a needy demanding bitch over at Staples…I’m ok being the guy who jerks off on color print outs..

Posted in:Heather Marks|SFW

2016

09

May

Rita Ora Mourning Her Friend of the Day

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On Friday night it was reported that a photographer named Matt Irwin had died, no one really reported how he died, but we can all make the obvious assumptions…

He was a successful and high paid photographer for a few magazines and he had become friends with the likes of Nicki Minaj and Gaga and other famous people he took pics of….

I am sure I’ve stolen pics he took of the women I make fun of on this site because they are all whores…

Rita Ora was one of the people featured in tribute articles – saying she was mourning his death…so she did what any self respecting, sad to lose a friend, personality disorder, fame whore, egotistical narcissist would do when mourning her friend…and that’s pull out her tits casually because that’s what you do when you’re sad and seeking attention to feel good or some shit…

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2016

09

May

Josephine Skriver Ass of the Day

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Josephine Skriver is one of the hottest working models of recent years…she’s fucking amazing and her ass…sound round and lovely…already booking major jobs all the fucking time…endorsed by Victoria’s Secret…and pretty fucking perfect…except for being friends with Taylor Swift…

My storyline for Josephine Skriver that people have discounted or called me crazy for saying is pretty fucking basic and in my opinion partially true, even if I go too far on it for the sake of silly blog post, we can all agree, based on the facts that there’s some “god complex” shit going on here…

She is a Danish 23 year old…she is branded by Victoria’s Secret as their angel…but I think they may have funded her father, a marine biologist, and homosexual who created her in a lab using IVF from her lesbian mom’s egg. I don’t know genetic programming laws in Denmark, but I would assume they used it here. I would assume they chose her height and eye color and whatever else you can do with DNA modifications in the clone lab…and I wouldn’t be surprised that their strategy is to create these perfect women to sell their panties into the future…use real humans rather than AI…but still own them so they work for cheap…or something…my kind of slavery…it’s like how UBER is only using UBER drivers until POD self driving cars exist- so that they get to keep 100 percent profit and will have detailed maps of where the cars are needed and will go…but the hot underwear model version….

Posted in:Josephine Skriver|SFW

2016

09

May

Willa Holland Ass Flash of the Day

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Willa Holland is awesome. I know very little about her other than she was the hot girl on the OC, her family is connected in the hollywood scene, like pretty much any other girl in the media, it takes connections to get people talking about you – and to get you cast in movies….it’s just how it works…

She’s on the show Arrow or some shit that’s equally massive with the nerds, so a whole new generation of socially awkward nerds probably jerk off to her….

She’s also into photography, date’s a photographer named NATE WALTON who I assume is responsible for all the amazing booty pics of her amazing booty…and I am all about that….

Apparently they got arrested for these pics on the Mayan lookin’ ruin…but they bribed their way out by paying the cops 100 bucks…sounds about right….

Here’s her amazing ass…

Posted in:SFW|Willa Holland

2016

09

May

Aubrey O’Day Hard Nipple of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day is such a low level celebrity that I hate that I am posting her pics. I think it’s just a sign of how old and detached I am from the world…I’ve just been doing this shit for so long that I don’t pay attention to the new comers, there are just too many whores on instagram more famous and probably interesting or talented that old, washed up Aubrey O’Day, who before there was Instagram, was someone people were into because of her big fake diddy fucking before getting fat and being a video vixen hip hop groupie before getting skinny to date white guys again…and I fear change…

But trust me, instagram has a lot more whores that are better to look at and have more to offer than this…even if Aubrey O’Day is nice now that her existence is so irrelevant it’s humbled her….

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|SFW