I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2023

17

Jul

Rowan Blanchard Tits of the Day

I may not find Rowan Blanchard hot, but she’s a quirky Disney Kid who they decided to send to Brooklyn to sexualize her and create a more adult version of her, which didn’t end up interfering with her celebrity status, because when you’re IN, you’re fucking IN bro, until you expose them for the weird shit they do, then you die of an overdose, car accident, plane crash, etc. It’s a big money industry, fucked up things happen…most more fucked up as Rowan Blanchard’s new found cleavage….

Did the sexualized Brooklyn hipster who gets racy in photoshoots she does with friends get some BOLT ONS, did she get a new BIRTH CONTROL pill, did she start eating cake because her handlers want her pushing the plus sized fatty agenda and her job as an actor is to act ALL the time….or is it a pushup bra, has she always had the tits that I didn’t notice because I always thought she was weird looking….

DO we care? I don’t care Do you Care?

I’m a grown man talking about a 20 year old’s new found cleavage, I mean that’s where the REAL issue lies…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Rowan Blanchard

2023

17

Jul

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

Naughty Nurses aren’t just for the doctors they are trying to seduce on the job, because part of being a nurse instead of a stripper was to command the respect of high paid doctors, at least enough to execute some home wrecking, since they have similar interests, like making money off sick people…

Where as the whole stripping thing would likely land you a few lap dances from doctors in town on a conference, but never an actually homewrecking situation you’d want to get that ultimate medical worker life, maximizing the money made of sick people…

Luckily, thanks to the internet, us non-doctors can experience what doctors experience between surgeries, since any close-knit community or long hour job, filled with people who think they are important or heroes, especially when they are perpetual students, will end in some level of sleaze….whether doing the hospital drugs recreationally, or fucking in the morgue, shit goes down…and NOW they aren’t even hiding it, they are rubbing it in our faces!

You know that medical bill you got where getting a tylenol cost 10k, well, this is what the bitch does the rest of the hour and it’s lovely, disgusting, shameless, and perfect…

I mean I only want to go to the hospital where medical workers embrace this tradition, where NUDES are their oath to the patients…..I mean it makes an otherwise shitty place to be easier to jerk off to.

(more…)

Posted in:NURSES

2023

17

Jul

Olivia Holt Upside Down Bikini of the Day

As it turns out, this is Olivia Holt and Madison Iseman showing the fans how they got hired at a teen pool party hosted by some pervert executive who knew that once he made it hard enough to afford a pool, that that pool would be used to cast the next big star…

You know, strip down to the bikini and do hand stands, ass first so that we can see the fitness, the gymanstics, the strength and the clenched ass holding them up….

I find it interesting that TWO created for the industry know the same trick…SUSPICIOUS…

Madison Iseman was in the “I know what you did last summer” series you didn’t know existed, along with Jumani’s latest iterations.

Olivia Holt is some Disney kid…now 25.

Both perverted enough to make this perverted shit for you perverts! It’s called MARKETING!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Olivia Holt

2023

17

Jul

Milf Monday of the Day

MILFs as a concept has been bastardized by the porn industry, and by self proclaimed MILFs alike, by assuming that just because an old bitch who looks like a mom or in some cases like a grandma, with a body that’s of a mom or in some cases a grandma, but if you’re lucky is still pretty fit falls into the MILF category….

What they neglect to realize is that MILF is actually a very PERSONAL thing, not a catch all category like ANAL, so it’d be better named as “Old Tired Bitch with Kids”….or “MOMS”….because the I is the PERSONALiZATION of the experience, meaning that some MILFs are worthy of a fuck, while others are just too MILF to stomach…

You see a MILF is the familiarity of LEFT OVERS, someone’s already got into this shit when it was fresh, but there’s still some left that tastes good enough to me, in some cases even better than when it was first pulled out of the oven because the flavors have settled…sometimes, leftovers are just rotten.

A MILF is like hiring an old timer ski instructor on your ski trip to show you the ropes, you feel that his experience outweighs his physical prowess, but sometimes that old fuck is demented….

On paper, a MILF is a no bullshit, down to fuck, ready to fuck, willing to workout because she feels like shit about her baby body, kind of legging wearing almost a babe in the grocery store….but then you realize that she’s only fucking you because there’s something wrong with her, and those leggings are actually compression leggings holding her all together.

I am not anti-the MILF, but the right kind of MILF is one still with husband, not a divorcee, raising her damn kids, while the other MILFs are just disappointments….even if they are occassionally hot…

So yeah, I have mixed emotions when it comes to MILFS and here are a bunch of self proclaimed MILFs…

Posted in:Milf

2023

17

Jul

Sabrina Carpenter Short Shorts of the Day

Sabrina Carpenter is an industry created actor who also does pop music, because if you’re going to create a celebrity, with all that work, marketing budget, investment, she best be able to deliver on all fronts like her own little J.Lo….I mean just the trauma based mind control to make sure they stay committed to the task at hand must be a fortune from the right doctors who you know will keep their mouths shut if they know what’s good for them….

Well, it being a pop culture icon in a world that seems to still embrace pop culture icons, even though the rational brain would think that people are over exposed to this bullshit, well aware of the scam that is celebrity, and the whole thing is boring and gets in the way of your own narcissism, yet as it turns out, it’s a bonus feature to add to your narcissism, you know so people think you’re relevant or into relevant things while producing your self involved content….

So yeah, Sabrina Carpenter still matters, I’m only interested in the short shorts…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Sabrina Carpenter

2023

17

Jul

Milky Boobs Monday of the Day

GET THEM MOMMY MILKERS AND FEED ME!

Here’s some literal mommy milkers for you LACTATING breast fans, probably because you were never breast fed, or maybe because you’ve never knocked a bitch up and breast feeding reminds you of the TRAD WIFE you never had, which is porn to you after being so destroyed by all the actual porn on the internet…..or maybe you’re just into BIOLOGY and find that whole TITS DOING WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO hot, even if the tits are TECHNICALLY not supposed to be used as masturbation fodder now that they are milk filled, but rather to feed babies, but who cares about that, we’re still polluted and desensitized by porn perverts who see tits and only know one thing that they are good for….and it’s not feeding babies…even if the whole baby thing is responsible for some of these circus tricks…

(more…)

Posted in:Lactating

2023

17

Jul

Awkward and Annoying Skinny Girl with the Great Tits of the Day

Yourina Calls , who I guess also goes by @you.rinka, who I guess is also an exclusive content vendor, who I am sure makes some pretty un-jerk-off-able content, because you can just tell.

There is a fine line between hot and annoying and figuring out what is too annoying to see the hotness because it overpowers it and I guess this Yourina chick wants to walk that fine line…

She’s not the hottest looking girl around, but maybe she is and she just doesn’t want to be another hot chick, so she does dumb content with her body that is ridiculous….to still get the fans, but without being a cheesy “I’m a hot chick” poser, while still trying to make money off being the hot chick with the hot tits.

She is clearly aware of her hot body, since she monetizes it, but instead of just doing hot content, she wants to show her personality and be as unattractive as possible in the content that she monetizes and the whole thing is weird.

There are plenty of ugly chicks who play the whole hot chick thing up like a bunch of try hards, and manage to pull it off, so an actual hot body could be a huge star, but instead she tries to make an uncomfortable joke out of the whole thing. Intentionally trying to not be hot while simultaneously trying to be hot. So weird.

Instead of being just hot and about this half naked shit, she does awkward and uncomfortable shit you’d expect from an awkward and uncomfortable girl getting naked for you, while still getting naked for you…..

Like if you were to bring a bitch home for a fuck and she just says and does weird nervous things, not like crying because she’s in bed with you, or struggling to breath cuz you have her gagged and tied to your bed, but actual awkward things, like weird dances or groundhogging in doggy style position, or weird cringeworthy statements like “Oh that’s your Wee Wee in my VOO VOO” or some shit when trying to talk dirt….you get what I am saying, the near boner killers that still don’t kill the boners but that challenge your boner…

I can’t even think of experiences that have given me the same feeling as this girl does with the hot tits, trolling us with dumb content to prove that hot tits is all it takes, but I know I have been face to face with a weird dance or two, or a weird ass spread, or a weird theatrical performance that leaves me confused, like the time I couldn’t get it up for a girl, it happens when you’re impotent, and she danced around the room saying “take it in, this is the hottest pussy you’ll ever see”, long before tiktok, while not being the hottest pussy I ever saw, and definitely not doing anything for the boner….

The hot body is hot, but the attitude of a nerd and not in a cosplay way other nerds can buy into but in a blowing her nose because that’s her twitch, thanks to her social awkwardness and austism and not in a good way way…

I feel inspired to post this weirdness that she probably thinks is her art….or her comedy…or her troll because it’s annoying, but the bouncy boobs are amazing and clearly outweigh her attempted weirdness…but she’s walking that fine fucking line brother.

Find her and her tits on INSTAGRAM

Posted in:Uncategorized

2023

14

Jul

Britney Spears Still Hostage in a Bikini of the Day

Britney Spears or the AI that is playing Britney Spears or the Body Double that is playing Britney Spears has released a very important, busty mom tit video of her posing in a bikini in what I assume is a vacation they are pretending is a recent vacation, but that is shot like it was a vacation back when Britney was alive….because despite being rich fucks, their cameras are so shit….

In this sporadic and confusing bikini video, the mental case hyped up on who fucking knows what shows us all her fun buys from her hotel lobby on said vacation, leaving me feeling a little uncomfortable because I don’t like unstable bitches, even though I know the crazier they are the better they fuck all while terrifying me…..

This is very much reminscent of the LiveLeak beheading videos of yesteryear, but with a fucked up, still in captivity prisoner who they tell is not a prisoner in hopes she doesn’t catch on, and the whole thing is fucking schizo…..

BUT check out the Britney Tits being sold to us as Britney Tits…even though I find it all very suspicious.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Britney Spears

2023

14

Jul

On/Off Flasher Fridays of the Day

When you think of the old On/Off, you may be imagining a named woman bouncing on and on your dick. I get it, it’s a high level concept that you’ve likely seen pictures and videos of, and making it happen for yourself is probably an objective or dream…..

But the real On/Off is the clothed vs unclothed, where you can see a clothed women in a pose next to that same woman unclothed, allowing you to really understand, compare and contrast, all that clothing does to a woman….while satisfying your urge to see every clothed girl unclothed because you’re a pervert, hence you fantasizing about them getting on and off your dick, because you know that it happens to some people, just not to you and one day, if the stars align it may….you sad sack of shit….

[gallery ids=”952023,952029,952081,952042,952026,952025,952024,952027,952028″}

(more…)

Posted in:OnOff

2023

14

Jul

Caroline Vreeland Big Veiny Mommy Milkers of the Day

It’s Friday, all the local girls are out there in their short skirts, showing off their long legs, rocking their braless tits….ready for a good time, a weekend gangbang….but none of the local girls are quite as huge breasted as Caroline Vreeland who has moved to Canada, in what I would assume was to stalk me, since I’m such a pivotal part of her career as I talk shit staring at her huge tits…

It’s Friday motherfuckers and thus a sex party in my pants….where everyone’s invited…but no one has shown up….reminiscent of my childhood social gatherings…

But hey, check out Vreeland’s currently pregnant MILKERS…they are TERRIFYING and also AMAZING…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Caroline Vreeland