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2015

14

Dec

Cheryl Cole’s Calendar of the Day

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I am old…and I remember Cheryl Cole…and I guess she’s still around and doing things that only her audience would really grasp…a 2016 Calendar…seeing as the new generation, or really anyone under the age of 30 only knows Calendar to be the name of an app, and it lost the photoshoot integration that anyone over 30 will remember, because one of the shittiest most common gifts at a secret Santa was a fucking Calendar…

Whether it was a Glamour model, a breed of dogs, or kittens, there was a fucking Calendar for it…whether it was self produced or done by Hallmark, there was a Calendar for it..but there’s no need for that anymore..

But I guess no one told this Girls Aloud, Soccer Wife, turned Soccer Divorcee and host of the X-Factor, who I think is still hot as fuck that…and I guess that’s a good thing, because seeing any hot girl pose for what looks like an instagram photoshoot is just a 3 on 10 in exciting…and 3 on 10 in exciting is better than 1 on 10 in exciting…

This is cheesy as fuck, but I guess when I read it was a Calendar Shoot, I should have anticipated that…because in 2015 the idea of a Calendar is more of a joke than anything….so here it is…

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Posted in:Cheryl Cole|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Jaime King’s In a One Piece of the Day

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I call this outfit “I have stretch marks from all the baby making I’ve participated in first hand…just be glad I’m not naked and my vagina isn’t spilling out…pretty much everywhere”….

Her name is Jaime King. She was a model in the 90s, I think…she’s gone onto very important things, like being friends with Taylor Swift….and now she’s taking bikini advice from her…because that’s just how influential Taylor Swift is…

I liked her better when her name was James King and she was on heroin.. at 14…because she tried it on her first modeling job in 1994…when heroin was in…something these lame instagram models will never know….

I guess I’m a purist like that….I am old enough to remember her at 18…and I think there’s something raw and real in a person when living the New York model / party life in that era…something that died when they go Hollywood…

But for a 40 year old…she’s doing ok…as long as she covers the fuck up…

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jaime King|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Treats! Magazine Uses Instagram Models on their Latest Issue of the Day

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I find the idea of getting excited about an instagram model being naked in some bullshit LA based magazine, that is hardly about editorial anything, and more about rich guys throwing parties and needing an excuse to get the hot girls in….impossible…

I find the idea of getting excited model, who’s entire existence is based on being naked or at least hanging out with rich guys in order to finance their lazy life of touring event to event like they fucking matter…pretty fucking boring.

I am sure with a little google, you can see every single one of these low levels, who may pretend they are bloggers, or swimsuit designers, or travel experts who get free hotel rooms for a plug on their repetitive, boring, lack of creativity but they have tits account….

I know at least one of these “Cover Girls”…is a bottle service girl, another who did bootleg playboy…that means not even the real Playboy, but the Playboy run by Pornhub, another is named Rocky Barnes and she converted to be Jewish to marry some rich dudes she has since divorced, the other is Sahara Ray who was some low level hipster with a Surfer dad and big tits, Jasmine Sanders I don’t fucking know and never head of, but she was in Love Magazine Advent earlier today and I said

“On Sunday…Jasmine Sanders…was the filler, probably fucking the producer, photographer, the people at Love Magazine…because I’ve never heard of her…or maybe she’s an instagram model sensation that the world fucking loves and I am just out of the look on, because I hate instagram and the instagram famous it has created…I’m ready for a new app to trick the world into making people billionaires..”

I stand by that…

Ellie Gonsalves dated a Jonas Brothers or some shit…or maybe she’s an “Australian swimsuit designer and three time Australia maxim cover girl”…shut the fuck up..

Rachel Cook is not Rachel Leigh Cook, but if she was she’d be more interesting…but I guess people find her interesting because she’s got 126,000 followers…thanks to posting butt shots and plugging teeth whitening products..

You get the idea, all the girls have over 100,000 followers and are eager…the guys behind it want to use their followers, who are all perverts, to grow their audience…basic marketing…and to get fucked by them, since rich guys like hot girls who take selfies all day, otherwise none of these girls would be financed or exist…

The only one worth noticing is Mel With a Rose…I like that one…I mean I don’t dislike any of these girls, I just find the whole thing so silly…brands thinking these people can sway me to buy anything beyond their tits…is just dumb and the fact there’s an insane ecosystem that is funded and these girls make 100k a month…blows my mind…it’s gotta end eventually…but tits have always got hits…

These are instagram models, in a bullshit nude photoshoot, for a magazine that isn’t a magazine, to attend parties for the magazines, to appease the rich guys who finance the magazine…like Ryan Seacrest and the Facebook twins…which is ok with me, I just call it out, I don’t actually care about why it happened, or even if it happened, but I’ll look at the instagram model tits, as their plight is nonsense, their relevance questionable, and their longevity a guaranteed no fucking way…

10 Covers for their 10th Issue using 10 Photographers and 10 Instagram models with over 100k followers…is I guess a recipe for success…

Posted in:Treats! Magazine

2015

14

Dec

Adriana Lima Thick for Cover Girl Magazine of the Day

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Last week, I had an argument with a girl about Adriana Lima losing her edge by gaining a whole lot of other things, like her barrel body…that isn’t really something you’d expect from a lingerie model, but definitely something you’d expect from a mom who keeps fit at the gym when her husband is at work making money to pay for her expensive life…

I guess what I’m saying is that I am a firm believer in throwing in the towel, retiring, doing other things that involve being clothed, because younger girls…just look better than older women…in underwear…no matter how many millions of dollars are left on the contract, it’s not worth the humilation…

I guess it’s possible these are just bad pics…

Posted in:Adriana Lima|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Olivia Wilde Is in a Bikini in Hawaii of the Day

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I don’t really know why I hate on Olivia Wilde….but for some reason I’ve decided she’s an overrated target of my deep rooted, soulless anger…

Maybe it is because she’s old, 31 or something equally disgusting…maybe it’s because I don’t find her hot…or maybe it’s because I haven’t seen any of her TV shows or movies, so she’s more the kind of celebrity who just shows up in my feed and look at her mom body and think…what the fuck is this…

I do know that her birth name is cockburn, and that was something I had fun with at least once or twice…

I also know that she’s got an outty pussy that is sticking its tongue out at us…but I can’t be sure if that’s baby making related, or getting famous related, or just the way she was born…

I mean she’s in a bikini, she’s some socialite from a long line of respected journalist in both the UK and America, but she decided to use those connections to get on TV…and I guess now to get in the paparazzi….

It’s all so boring…but check out that outty pussy.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Olivia Wilde|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Demi Lovato Falls On Stage of the Day

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23 minutes into this video…Demi Lovato…the lesbian, definitely dyke even if she fucks that guy from that 70s show…Disney star with an insanely loyal fan base…Demi Lovato falls on stage….and does a weird turtle on it’s shell…hands and legs in the air struggle…because the spandex in her outfit, that is attempting to make her look fit thick despite being sloppy thick…in a world that fucking loves thick girls…it’s trendy to be plus sized and to say “love your body, embrace your body”…it’s like a Dove soap campaign and fat chicks everywhere, who happen to be the masses EAT it up like it was baked goods…

I figure it is safe to say that the scam in this 23 minute clip is that she saves falling until the last minute because she wants to force you to watch the whole thing..

Posted in:Demi Lovato|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Bar Refaeli for Agent Provocateur of the Day

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Just when you thought Bar Refaeli was done, she comes out in some lingerie for a lingerie brand like she was still at Victoria’s Secret and fucking Leonardo DiCaprio…because from what I remember…which is very little…she’s the first Victoria’s Secret who he either pretended to date because he’s a homo who fucks dudes, or actually dated, because it was before he decided girl sex was so basic, when every model throws themselves at you…

I guess being recently married, 30, ready to settle down and make babies on her pile of money back home in Israel, isn’t enough to hold a girl who is so trained at getting naked…with her big titties…to get naked…with her big titties…even though no one really cares about Bar Refaeli anymore…she’s pretty much fallen off into obscurity, but maybe the brand is going after the Jewish Market, you know there are only 12,000,000 of them but they account for 90% of the world’s wealth…and 72% of the world’s lingerie purchases for their non-Jewish mistresses…

I made that stat up..

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Models for Terribly Boring La Perla Ads of the Day

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Natasha Poly, Liu Wen, and Mariacarla Boscono are the models selected for the La Perla Spring / Summer 2016 campaign…and shit is pretty fucking boring for a lingerie company…

I’m not expecting these higher end version of Victoria’s Secret, and less interesting version of Agent Provocateur to go down the Miley Cyrus route of strap-ons and fucking ridiculousness, with midgets and obese women…on some sideshow kick..

But I’m not expecting them to be as generic as Victoria’s Secret, or even more generic than Victoria’s Secret, I mean even Victoria’s Secret is more interesting to look at than this…

The funny thing in all this is they hired Mert & Marcus, who makes 80k a day for this kind of thing…which to me is a huge waste of fucking money….unless they are marketing lingerie in some Christian Weekly paper, I don’t get this at all…

But here’s some expensive models, shot by expensive photographers, for an expensive brand, and the end result is some bootleg shit…

Posted in:La Perla|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Marisa Papen is the Naked Model Trying to Make it of the Day

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Thanks to the internet or social media…everyone is a photographer, or more importantly, everyone is a model.

So standing out amongst the crowd is a lot more difficult. In the 80s or 90s, or really any era pre-internet, you had to either be scouted by someone from the bigger cities vacationing in your town, or you had to be cocky enough with your looks to tell your family to fuck off with their convention, to hop on a bus and fend for yourself in Los Angeles or NYC…

Now, you just need to use basic online marketing tactics, either from your home, or from LA, where you have based yourself out of, thanks to making enough money selling plugs to diet Tea companies and sucking Sugar Daddy dick to pay your rent….I mean when you’re an egotistical cunt, you might as well go to the source or hub of egotistical cunts, to try to make it out there…telling your family and friend’s you are a model or actress without realizing there are far too many models and actresses to go around, to really allow this one to break and her fanbase, if she even has one…is solely based on butt shots and early instagram popular page hustle…

What I am saying is that it is all a lie, but here are millions of hot girls out there, and even tens even hundreds of millions of girls I’d consider good enough to fuck, so chasing this nonsense dream is idiotic…it’s like focus on your a skill, or talent, you lazy bitch…

But the good news is, they all get naked in their quest to get out there, and it worked for Emrata, so it could work for anyone..who works the rich guys at Treats who realized being rich wasn’t a good enough excuse to get bitches naked and posing…but being rich and owning a magazine to feature them in was…

Sure it’s not rocket science, or even that clever, but I’ll looking at nude pics they put together, and so are you…so I guess we should thank them for sharing their free models / girlfriends / sugar babies with us….they spent years building up their own brand and money, that a good brag feels good, but we haven’t done any of that positioning and still reap the rewards, so I guess what I’m trying to say, is that thanks to the internet, it pays to be lazy…and not bother, because you get the rewards from the comfort of your own obesity filled couch.

Her name is Marisa Papen…and she’s here to be taken seriously…