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2015

01

Dec

Sarah Hyland Pantsless of the Day

Sarah Hyland is one of the creepiest celebrities because she looks 12 – but isn’t 12…she lives that adult life…with adult issues…like an ex boyfriend who beats her and she had to get restraining order from…to hanging with Colombian hookers who teach her the way to succeed via tits…but she looks like someone you want to ask if they’ve lost their parents if you were to find her at Disney, for her to respond “no I just fuck the execs here to get work”…seeing as Disney owns ABC…a a baby Herman situation…you know created by the industry, fed hormones by the industry, so that her stage mom could really maximize her career when she knew she was cute, not thinking about how terrifying adult babies in lingerie could possibly be….

It’s funny that pedophilia or sex offending is based on actual age, not the fact the underdeveloped 18 year olds who look 10, would take a real pervert to fuck…or retards who are 18 but act 4 are also fair game for a real pervert to fuck…but 17 and a half year olds who look 40…will get you in jail..interesting law., you should start a campaign against it…I’m sure it’ll go over well at your local high school…

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2015

01

Dec

Elle Goulding Nipple in a See Through Shirt of the Day

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Ellie Goulding has nipples…that she wants you to see…as most girls with nipples do…

It’s like they sexualize their nipples more than guys sexualize nipples…all temping us with them and making us look at them…even when some of us only really care about looking at your asshole while fucking your pussy…

It’s like some days the nipple is a “suck on my tits while I cum”…and other days it’s “my nipples aren’t sex objects, stop, MAN”…

Get your fucking story straight…sshole…

If you don’t know who Ellie Goulding is, or what nipples you’re looking at, I can assure you, her “work” will not be life changing

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Posted in:Ellie Goulding|SFW

2015

01

Dec

Paris Hilton for Paper Magazine of the Day

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Paris Hilton is back at it..putting her booty into it…a booty so tainted yet amazing, I’d spend at least an hour sniffing..

I guess she’s on some pre-40 year old comeback tour…or midlife crisis…because despite having made a ton of money and is still making a ton of money…she want’s some of that attention her fat brown friend is getting…

It’s like she’s decided to go back to low level modeling to generate some buzz for her, not because she needs it for her business or money, but because she’s Paris Hilton and deserves it…at least in her mind…

Living the last 5-10 years as the bootleg Kim Kardashian, because Kim Kardashian stole everything she built from her…in a never trust your brown friends you treat like shit to be nice to you…unless Paris is smarter than any of us actually think she is and worked out a deal with the Kardashians where that she gets 10 percent of everything they make for the lifetime…which would have been the smart thing to do when giving her all your trade secrets…in a step by step school of making stupid money….by being nothing…and doing nothing…

I’d actually be shocked if Paris doesn’t get backend residuals for Kim K and the gang of idiots…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|SFW

2015

01

Dec

Selena Gomez VS Victoria’s Secret Models of the Day

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Victoria’s pulling out their big guns to promote their shitty televised infomercial….and they are using Selena Gomez and her following of dumb tween girls to do it…

Selena Gomez is promoting her big break as a performer at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, who I guess are paying her by doing this viral video to promote her shitty song, as the models, who are much hotter than Selena Gomez, lip syncing…with some Selena fake titty lupus and Chemotherapy tits…in the mix…

As shitty a product and brand Victoria’s Secret is…some of these girls are pretty good…and despite how dumb this video is…and how bad this song is…some of these girls are pretty good…and despite how annoying Selena Gomez is in her bullshit career…as long as her tits are out there…it’s ok…and as annoying as each of these overrated girls looks trying to act…they are still pretty good..

Garbage…but hot chicks doing anything…even cheesy things..is hard to really not watch…if you have absolutely nothing to do…

That said, Fat Adriana Lima is Creepy and Grabbing At Herself of the Day

I guess Adriana Lima is up on the “fat chicks get work”…..”fat chicks get the jobs”….”Fat chicks get celebrated for being fat, so why the fuck am I going to work out 8 hours a day for my millionss of dollars, when I can just eat as much as I fucking want and pretend it’s a feminist movement, that I’ve made millions making girls feel insecure about themselves, but that I don’t need that Patriarchy machine to hold me down, even if they are her only employer”….because why work, when you can just take the jobs and pretend it’s more than just getting old and tired, like there’s purpose to it…when really it’s just lainess…

I don’t know why a model gets a wax figure, but I know there’s a fetish in watching a model play with a clone of herself, especially for you scifi weirdos who remember LIMA as one of the hottest models to exist the last 20 years…

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Posted in:Adriana Lima|SFW

2015

01

Dec

Amanda Bynes Big Tits of the Day

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Amanda Bynes and her big breasts…looking all fat thanks to anti-depressants and not being on drugs….is far more boring than when she had her total fucking meltdown…because like most guys, I love when bitches lose their fucking minds, they are more fun to fuck, just so long as we don’t live with them or are married to them, because that shit makes for serious hell…

I really appreciated her tabloid fodder, the antics she was pulling, the crazy shit she was saying and posting, the pics..pretty much the entire experience…I even liked when I was talking to her alias on twitter…she seemed like a good time….

It’s just not the same when I see her giving in to society…it’s like they took her fucking soul…But she’s still got tis, and I guess she’s not that child star she was…but rather some Anna Nicole Smith looking doughy cartoon character, who is just a week of skipping her pills away from being a real fucking good time…so here’s hoping for the return of the only AManda Bynes I appreciate..

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Posted in:Amanda Bynes|SFW

2015

01

Dec

Jewel in a Bikini of the Day

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If you’re wondering how Jewel, a huge popstar, who has sold so many fucking albums in her career managed to go from Alaska to LA, living in her car with a dream that one day she’d sell millions of records, ended up living out that dream…even though most people you have heard live in their car, usually end up selling their car, for more drugs to ease their pain, before dying in a fucking ditch…but this one, goes onto to be hugely fucking famous in the late 90s…it’s because of this body that 20 years later, that’s 20 years later, the age of girls I have sex with later, she’s still got a banging body…even after having kids…it’s safe to say that she’s got more than just singer songwriting talent, but also hippie ALaskan, thick skinned, good to cum on tit talent…she probably learned practicing on the roughnecks working the mines and fishing….you know the kind of girl you can plow the fuck into as hard as you can…

Posted in:Jewel|SFW

2015

01

Dec

Nicola Mcleam See Through of the Day

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In a world full of fat chicks being objectified as if they were skinny chicks, but packaged as though they are breaking down boundaries, even if the intended purpose of said fat chick being objectified is the exact same of that exploitation or objectification of the skinny girl before her, only now, instead of “check out these tits”…they say “check out this courage”…

I like to pay attention to original fame whores, like Nicola McLean, who must be 40, despite looking 60, who understand that showing their tits is what matters and why they exist and had the life they had, by showing their tits…as a tribute to better days..

No, I don’t remember Nicola McLean, the UK Glamour model… but I’m sure she’s been around…at least according to her rugged well traveled look…

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Posted in:Nicola Mclean|SFW

2015

01

Dec

Maitland Ward Nipple on Snapchat of the Day

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Maitland Ward may not be someone you know or someone you really understand…but she’s someone who 40 year olds masturbated to in the 90s…on Friday nights…when she was the hot girlfriend on Boy Meets World…and for some reason, a reason I call nostalgia and huge tits…that has carried her 20 years into the future..to be someone that the paparazzi humor, but that doesn’t actually get work…but she does have fun, dressing up for various holidays, putting herself out there for the sake of putting herself out there to be made fun of, while flashing tits and really exposing herself in a “What is wrong with the girl, I don’t get it but I like it” way….

Well, she flashed her tits on snapchat…and people got excited about it…so why not give her the virtual high five, that’I’d prefer if it involved me feeding off her like her adult baby…since they are so fucking big…

A little “Momma….is that you, why did you leave me when I was a baby, you said you were going to get cigarettes and you never cam back…I feel so alone..” as she reads me bedtime stories or we watch reruns of Boy Meets World…her glory days…that led to this very silly comeback tour…becasue taking yourself so seriously is just dumb…

Posted in:Maitland Ward

2015

01

Dec

Katie Holmes is Wet and Sniffing her Vagina for Ocean Drive of the Day

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Katie Holmes is sniffing her vagina for Ocean Drive magazine, assuming that this model of Katie Holmes that Tom Cruise an his Scientology team created even gave her a vagina, maybe she’s looking for her vagina, because that as we all know Tom Cruise fucking hates vaginas…

She’s looking older, haggard, like she has seen some shit…but those of you who liked her back on Dawson’s creek, before she was abducted, can probably still find joy in this….what once had potential to be gold, but who is now made of gold, becuase the conductivity is best for high end components…and/or beause she had Tom Cruise’s baby and that dude will Charlie Sheen a bitch to keep her mouth shut…about the Gay HIV he may or may not have and or just the Gay that he definitely has…and tries to repress thanks to his cult..

Fascinating…

Posted in:Katie Holmes|SFW

2015

01

Dec

Doutzen Kroes in Lingerie for the Enemy of the Day

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Doutzen Kroes left Victoria’s Secret to work for H&M in the battle of the mall brand, fast fashion, made by sweatshops in China, but turned into billions of dollars in revenue, because they are better are slave labor than silly made in American types…who still buy, finance and fuel this insane production system that makes other countries world leaders…all because you can save 20% on the margins because you get to avoid Unions….and lazy Americans with their work condition…

I guess it’s December 1st, so a bitch, who has more than one baby and a black DJ boyfriend who you know fuck groupies, in red lingerie holding Christmas props in the laziest shoot for a million dollar campaign that will help sell a billion dollars in merch over the next two weeks…is perfect representation of that…

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|SFW