DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

05

Jun

Milf Monday of the Day

Hey MILFS what’s for dinner? Where’s my laundry? I WANT LUNCHABLES…..

MOOOOOMMM WHERE ARE MY LUNCHABLES……oh that mystery meat between your legs is a good stand in for those LUNCHABLES…

Do you have before and after birthing pics of your mom pussy, I want to put that urban myth to rest?

Point of the story, there are aspects to moms that are great, from being comfortable showing rooms full of people their gaping gunts being shredded open for life, to being comfortable with so many vile bodily fluids, to an ability to keep a human alive, fed and a home clean enough that Child Services don’t take the kids, while being too exhausted to be annoying about bullshit, to being too down on themselves to think they are hot, due to that exhaustion, to likely being married to another man and not wanting to let you in to protect the kid, to having a limited schedule that must be optimized for the fuck….

Not all things MILF are bad and some of them don’t even have bodies that are that bad…so here they are:

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Posted in:Milf

2023

05

Jun

Jordyn Jones Bikini of the Day

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There was a minute when celebrity reality show child dancer from Kalamazoo meth farm Jordyn Jones had a promising social media hustle….which like all other promising social media hustles ended with her selling memberships or access to her exclusive half naked content…..

She basically ran a porn site on the back on Zuck’s instagram while Zuck’s instagram had no idea that the close friends she was letting in were paying customers, almost a genius move that I doubt she thought up, but that I am sure bought her at least one of her super cars…

She eventually launched an OnlyFans as girls who get the whore itch from selling nudes, not the old fashioned way from dirty john’s and their crabs, and what was a child reality dance star to do when no longer a child…

She has since disappeared, at least off my pervert radar, that I’ll admit isn’t the best pervert radar since I don’t care about these people or their storylines….but she’s back in a bikini for summer, and I guess that’s something for all you inbred lovers who only know inbreeding because you too are from Kalamazoo and likely Jordyn Jones’ cousins…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2023

05

Jun

Alexandra Daddario Nude Selfie of the Day

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Alexander Daddario’s got a big WOP dick, but luckily for you she’s also got big WOP tits…

The old as shit, went viral late in the game for her tits, who still exists in hollywood because of said tits, runs her instagram like a bit of a detached rich kid boomer who doesn’t really get it…..

However at least she’s trying to be moody, to be artsy, to be interesting, in some though provoking, black and white or filtered to shit so it might as well be black and white all pixelated and blown out so you know it’s art, nude selfie that doesn’t show the tits, or the dick, but just implies that they are all there ready since she’s a sexual being on her way into menopause…

I don’t hate Daddario or her trying hard….I just don’t think she’s an impressive celebrity, but really, are any celebs impressive, they are all just insecure hacks with egos overcompensating while pretending acting is a real art form, as they get their fat checks….so I’m just here for the tits, or implied tits, or the nude selfie parody that this clearly is because if I was sexting a bitch and she sent this, I’d send her back to the drawing board…I guess some puppets just need direction….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Alexandra Daddario

2023

05

Jun

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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I received a take down notice from one of these nurses who gets naked on the job….which both offends and excites me….

You see, these ladies, not just nurses getting naked on the job like they aren’t going to get fired, because there’s a shortage of workers, have second thoughts and regrets when the good times have rolled…or when they find a new husband or man or find god….

It’s fun to be a SEX WHORE ON THE INTERNET until it is not….

It makes me MAD when they send me the LAWYERS letters when I am just trying to help them out and get them eyeballs. I am the marketing support, they should be paying me….

Anyway, my response was:

Dear NAUGHTY NURSE,

Just seeing this email now the image is REMOVED

I hope you don’t work in the pediatric cancer ward, but if you do, I hope the children dying of cancer use your on the job, inappropriate whoring as their MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION wish….

WITH LOVE

JESUS MARTINEZ

I am sure I could have come up with something better, but why bother.

Here are some nurses, working for their sideline money while working for their pensions….fascinating time!

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Posted in:NURSES

2023

05

Jun

Jordana Brewster Swimsuit of the Day

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Panamanian National and potential tax evader Jordana Brewster, who is in her 40s, which is about 500 years old in bikini model years, has decided that she looks good for her age, probably from checking out the other moms at some pool party play dates, even moms a decade younger than her, so clearly she’s destined to have a second life as a bikini model, since acting in the Fast and Furious bullshit was so good to her, really putting her on the map, or in the jerk off targets of the weirdest group of people around who watch Fast Furious movies, there’s a lot fo them.

I dont think she looks all that bad in the header pic, almost young and fit, holding her pony tail like a hispanic video girl….with her TITS OUT….

Good from far, because you can’t see her weathered old face…

In this era of OLD LADY INCLUSION, despite hating on OLD LADY BODIES, I’ll choose this over fat ANY day…and you will to…..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jordana Brewster

2023

05

Jun

Milky Boobs Monday of the Day

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After the Leni Klum non-milk filled tits, since she’s under 20 years old, with tits that you’d expect on a fat chick who spent the last 25 years eating high estrogen snack foods, only on a tiny frame….the whole idea of Milk Filled boobs is just a gross fetish for lonely dudes who have never knocked up a woman.

That’s not to say that I’ve knocked up women, but it is to say the only time I’ve been interested in milky tits is when I was basically homeless and hungry on the streets and I’d see moms bust their tits out in public, and I’d say, “what a great way to get your sustenance”…..better than DUMPSTER diving…that’s kind of PLATING a Michelin 5 star restaurant would be celebrated for….some fucking down to the basics of human nature and the human experience deconstructed pretentiousness, unlike the faggy displays they seem to do in those fine dining establishments….

The whole mom aspect and kid latched on aspect was just an obstacle to the public tit flashing, so I was into it enough, but I didn’t crave it, or really even sexualize it more than I’d sexualize any other tit, yet there are weirdos out there who can only jerk off to breasts lactating like nature made them, and like trans dudes who get on the right hormones are tricking their bodies to do too….

So here’s a round-up…

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Posted in:Lactating

2023

05

Jun

Underwater Ass and Other Youtube Shorties of the Day

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Hot Titty Surf

Ass Jiggle

Ass Sliding

Yoga Moves

Dumb Dancing

Ass Beach Walk

Chiropractor

Tight Outfit

Posted in:Youtube Shorties!

2023

02

Jun

Jameson Baldwin Round Up of the Day

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I’ve done a post on Jameson Baldwin in the past, I postured her as Ireland and Hailey’s hotter, skinner cousin from fast-haired Billy Baldwin and Chynna Phillips of Wilson Philips fame…or daughter of Mamas and the Papas fame…..they’ve been married for 100 year but no one gave a shit, since it’s Billy Baldwin and Wilson Philips…

The reason Jameson, named after Billy’s WHISKEY SHOTS that got Chynna in the mood to fuck on the night of Jameson’s conception, not named after the family dog….but yeah, the reason she’s top of mind is because that 70s show Danny Masterson was found guilty on 2/3 rape charges from random bitches who he now OFFICIALLY raped….which you are allowed to say now that it has been confirmed via the fair court of law….and to say he allegedly did it is anti-American. Not calling him a rapist would mean you don’t trust your system and you need to trust the system in order for it to work, plus he looks like a fucking rapist…..

Anyway, pervert rapist who you could just tell is a slimy fuck who thought he was so important and above the law thanks to his religion and thanks to his TV role, is married to Bijou Philips, who I am pretty sure got my first instagram deleted because I posted a picture of her at a party I was at and said something like “I am watching you” tagging her and the account got deleted the next day, so I always say she got my IG deleted, even if she didn’t…keep in mind, this was over a decade ago and they were more important at the time…not convicted rapists….

If she did get my account deleted for being creepy, I can see that it was seen as creepy, that was the foundation of the joke…but now that her actual HUSBAND who she’s married or been abused into staying with for decades is an actual rapist creep it makes the story so much better, worth losing that instagram over.

So the point of all this is that Billy Baldwin is not just from a shitty family of ALLEGED murderers, he is also the brother in law of rapist fucks.

That means Jameson is his niece who I can’t confirm or deny he raped, but convicted rapists rape, and that Phillips family is a fucking weird when it comes to INCEST…just ask Mackenzie about the first time she did a speedball and fucked….

Really, when your niece looks like Jameson, and the porn sites push incest on you, and your family is experienced in incest, and you’re a convicted racist, why wouldn’t you….it’s like the it almost makes sense and doesn’t make sense NOT to…

Here are some pics of her:

There were some nudes on her feed, could be her, exciting and arsty right…

Posted in:Jameson Baldwin

2023

02

Jun

On/Off Flasher Fridays of the Day

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On/Off’s are the only hope we have in this potential dystopia that Elon Musk and the other billionaire class have in store for us with their brain chips and total control over all of us, who they keep distracted with smut, fucking, woke-ism and other nonsense, as they design the world to profit themselves….

You know mark of the beast human/machine brain chip interface that they want in you, despite not being able to prevent SPAM bots on Twitter, or even keeep twitter live when launching their SPACES bullshit, but HEY take my BRAIN ELON you fucking predator monster freak alien lizard fuck…

But yeah, if they have an On/Off filter, I’m fucking into it…like you and most of us, I’ll do dumb shit for tits, just not to get into a bar, restaurant or big box retailer, I’m not that pathetic…

Here are some ON/Offs…

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Posted in:OnOff

2023

02

Jun

Feminist Friday of the Day

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Feminist Friday is a day where I celebrate girls who don’t wear bras, which from my recent experience of going outside since it’s not the polar vortex ice wall hell that we normally live in, and as it turns out, there’s so many nipples to be seen out there…..it’s a glorious thing…

Unfortunately, for the sake of alliterations, I’ve called this feminist friday, which just fucking angers me because the feminist movement was a concerted effort to destroy the American dream, and to push degeneracy, violence, crime and misery…

Letting the women out of the kitchen was almost as bad as letting them run companies, or be in positions of power, since they are far too emotional to get it done…

It’s the white woman, because that’s the primary feminist, who is out there crying and freaking out as they hate on men…..who are the most racist and annoying….

It’s the white woman, usually childish, who gets outraged at gay dudes who don’t like this Pride bullshit, because that’s not the kind of gay dude gay dudes are supposed to be….

It’s just a fucking disaster really, so the braless girls help me out of my anti-feminist which I consider anti-woman as they push weird gender issue shit we’re forced to be exposed to…RAGE…

NIPPLES!

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Posted in:Feminist