DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

02

Nov

Martha Hunt for Guy Aroch of the Day

I posted these pictures of MARTHA HUNT FOR A MAGAZINE …and a few more dropped…so I figured, I could be doing anything in the fucking world right now…from masturbating to random girls I sext…to eating donuts and I fucking love donuts…to going on a great hike or working out with a personal trainer to get fit…or talking to a therapist about quitting drinking…so that I can live forever…or trying to escape my wife and moving to somewhere tropical with money I steal from her…or most importantly, I could be drunk…

BUT instead….I am posting more pics of a Martha Hunt photoshoot, like she matters, like she deserves my attention…when i don’t even think she deserves to get paid as much as she does as a model.

Sure, she’s hot…Sure, she’s tall and thin, but all these idiots are the fucking same and none of this matters in any of our lives, our happiness, it’s not like she’ll let us suck on her tits…so there’s no point in even looking at this…but here I am posting it anyway…garbage…

Maybe these are the same pics I’ve already posted…

Posted in:Martha Hunt|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra and Gig Hadid Their New Star of the Day

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I hate buying into the Victoria’s Secret propaganda, but the evil corporation is so hilarious to me. The fact that they exist, the fact that people buy into their product made in sweatshops overseas, the fact that people buy into the models they cast and the celebrity they build around them….and even their fantasy bra they feature in their show…

They are just mall brand, consumerism, that give little girls like GIGI HADID the dream of walking the runaway on TV…like it matters…because she’s been made to believe that’s the top of the charts for a model…

So this little rich kid, who has everything got the one thing she always wanted…to walk the runway show…in part of their holiday campaign, where they make the majority of their sales…after the above video…where she squeals like a pig…you may like it..

I am more into what this bitch thinks is important in life, really, walking a shitty televised fashion show…to sell middle of the road mall brand product…what the fuck..

Couldn’t keep back my tears!!!! Anyone that grew up with me knows that getting this show has been a dream of mine forever! THANK YOU @victoriassecret & @ed_razek! One of the happiest moments of my life.

I can’t believe people are this fucking garbage…or that people live in such an insular little world where this kind of shit matters….did I mention she squeals when excited?

Don’t tell GIGI but the VS people were trying to find a way to get the young market to watch, and she’s instagram and tumblr famous, or an “it girl”…so they are just leveraging that..maximize on dumb rich girl’s childhood dream who used to work for the other mall brand Guess…to sell product and stay relevant…dumb…

Garbage.

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Agent Provocateur Launches Swim of the Day

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Malcolm Mclaren, the Sex Pistol’s manager who posted bail for Sid Vicous before his mother injected him with a lethal dose of heroin…..had a kid with Vivianne Westwood, a fashion designer who basically dressed the punk rock band in the 70s, because Punk is so Punk that they care about designer clothing and making millions…you know the least punk thing possible…

They had a kid…and that kid who was clever enough to say “Hey, these brands of lingerie aren’t authentic to the history of hosiery…they aren’t as sexy or amazing as lingerie was in the 1920s…how can we be 80 years older but our under garments are just throwaway walmart quality shit…when lingerie should be sexy…I know, I’ll use mommy’s money and make a brand of very expensive lingerie that instagram models everywhere will make their sugar daddy’s buy for them…because people love expensive things…”..

Well, Agent Provocateur has branched out into swimsuits…now that they are the biggest and baddest brand in panties…why not take on swim..

Here’s their lookbook…get ready for these to pollute your instagram feed…

Posted in:Agent Provocateur|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Sophie Simmons in a Bikini of the Day

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Sophie Simmons is really committed to this instagram model thing. It’s like being the daughter of a billionaire rockstar and Playboy model isn’t enough for her. It’s like she can’t just find better hobbies like helping the poor, or refugees or really anything…but instead she’s paying for self involved photoshoots, that she is the star of..in the most vapid and useless thing a bitch could do…

Is she addicted to likes, is she that vain that she feels the need to share herself with the world, is she just an exhibitionist and this is the only way she can cum, or is she looking for love her dad was too busy to give her, or is she just like her dad and wants to spread her seed…or is her dad paying her becauase it keeps people talking about the brand he loves more than her..

Who knows…but bikinis…

Posted in:SFW|Sophie Simmons

2015

02

Nov

Liar Brian Williams’ Daughter Allison in Bazaar of the Day

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When you’re dad’s a liar….it’s good to get into magazines with your shirt off…to disassociate and let people focus on her career and not judge her because her dad..

Allison Williams…some nude girl from GIRLS…the one who lucked out because she’s not the monster Lena Dunham….making her substantially hotter than she is by associations…

We used to call the fat girls who girls hang with to make them look hotter…the fat manager.

It was like you had to get through the fat manager to get to the girl…but more importantly…the fat manager by association made the girl all that much hotter…especially when they are the only group in the bar at 3 am…and she’s got 10 fat managers with…you know the diamond in the rough approach..

Posted in:Allison Williams|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Alyssa Miller Naked of the Day

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Here’s old, washed up, hot as fuck, but never really quite made it, model named Alyssa Miller, who you may remember from Sports Illustrated Swimsuit a bunch of years ago, that she secured by fucking one of the photographers….before cheating on him with Jake Gyllenhaal, because when you are a whore, you do self serving whore things, that lead to a better whore life, and when an A-Lister, despite being a cunt like Gyllenhaal comes a knocking, you got to throw in any morals or values you may pretend you have a go for it…

She’s a good old Texan, who got famous too fast for her own good. Went Hollywood as fast as she could, only to go back to being a wholesome texans, engaged to some country singer, driving vintage Mercedes, living in her little hipster house…at least according to her instagram that looks like it was created by a creative director at some rugged lifestyle brand…Check HER INSTAGRAM how is this even real…it’s so fucking hipster…and for some reason…I think I’m in love…

It would be a great tragedy to fuck anything that fucked Jake Gyllenhaal…but this Alyssa Miller character…is compelling…but maybe I just like how much effort she puts into her social media personal brand…hip as fuck…

Posted in:Alyssa Miller

2015

02

Nov

Dakota Johnson’s See Through Shirt of the Day

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Dakota Johnson wore an interesting shirt, intentionally, to the Hollywood Film Awards, which is too bad, because there is great pleasure that comes when a girl actually has an accidental nip slip, or see through shirt…without really knowing it…until it is too late.

I’ve seen this happen at clubs…where girls don’t realize their pantyless pussy is exposed until noticing you staring too intently…I’ve seen it happen on rainy days..where girls don’t realize their shirt is see through and wet…I’ve seen it at public pools with white bikinis..and really anywhere bikinis are involved because nipples and pussy – just fall out…I’ve even seen the flash of the camera show panty…or girls in leggings one size too small….they don’t realize the fabric can’t support opacity while stretched so hard…

Now, when it happens, it’s usually to get more attention, because these girls want legit careers…or to be talked about, because Hollywood is all they know..and think they are good at thanks to being spoiled…when we all know her grandma is the only one with any real talent…not that acting requires talent…

I find her sex appeal that of a wet glove…you fuck because it’s there…but don’t really want to fuck…

Posted in:Dakota Johnson|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Google Streetview Star of the Day

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The best Google street view I know of…. that happened to a friend of mine, is that google maps drove by his house mid day in their creepy creeper car…when he was fucking a girl he worked with during lunch hour…that he carelessly let park in his driveway…so that his wife, when showing her friend the house on google maps…could see the red car that is not her red car, or his red car, but the red car of his employee she already hated and knew something was up with…in the driveway…despite having never been invited to their house…busted…

The second best google street view is this girl pissing….while smoking…so good..

Posted in:LOLZ

2015

02

Nov

Weird Car Wash Video and Other Views of the Day

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Couple Having Sex In a Car on a Guy’s Farm…

Shoplifter’s Hilarious Escape

Doctor Makes Fighter’s Wound Talk…

Party Grandpa at 6 am

Naked African Palestinian

Kazakhstan Teacher Punishing Kids

Halloween Brawl in Baltimore

Halloween Brawl in Orlando

Old Man Almost Hit By Axe

Man in NYC Shitting

Fight in the Computer Lab

Street Performer – VS Thief

SUV Vs Tanning Salon

Just Nice People on NYC Subway -0 Is this Goonies?

Short Thief

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2015

02

Nov

Important Kenny G News of the DAy

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In the event you’ve been wondering where you favorite music to masturbate to creator Kenny G has been….

He’s been making big plans…big fucking plans…far bigger plans than the elevator music you love…

He’s already set a Guinness World Record in 1997 for the longest note ever held on a saxophone, something very important when you have nothing to do after scamming the world into paying you for some cheesy fucking music..

He told huffington post:

“I have a plan to break the record,”

“I’m not going to tell you exactly what it is, but I’m going to try to partner with a particular airline, and we’re going to do it on one of their flights that lasts over an hour. I’m going to try to hold a note for the whole flight. So I’ll sit in the back and I’ll hold the note, and they’ll take off and hopefully I can hold the note all the way through takeoff to landing.”

Fascinating….I mean what else is motherfucker gonna do to really secure himself as the only easy listening jazzy dude with great hair to do with himself for purpose…

This is so absurd…what a joker.

Posted in:Kenny G