DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

11

Sep

Lara Stone for Vogue UK of the Day

Lara Stone is the enemy of the site, but she’s also recently divorced from the guy she married from TV, some Comedian, who I guess lost his relevance and turned on her, disallowing her to pose for the magazines, like some kind of psycho fat guy, as all fat guys become, when they get a hot model girl they know are just with them for their money, because when growing up fat, while being equally funny, if not funnier and the success of their comedy is a testament to that, no model bitches wanted his dick…but the fame and fortune…brings thirsty pussy ready to eat your wallet if it’s fat enough..

So dudes who worry about not having a porn dick, you don’t need one, that’s for poor dudes who want hot pussy…if you’re rich, girls will fuck you, anyway you like…but when you break up, they’ll run to the media to try to piss you off…being slutty.

Posted in:Lara Stone|SFW

2015

11

Sep

The Tits from Blurred Lines Dressed Like a Stripper for Target of the Day

No Comments »

I wonder at what point in the choosing of this outfit…that the Tits from the Blurred Lines video, who also goes by Rat Cow, decided this was an appropriate outfit for a Target event at fashion week, where she is attending events as the bottom feeder, which is appropriate cuz of her bird face because birds love feeders, they sell them at Target…trying to stay relevant.

It’s like “Look at me, look at my tits, look at me….”…she’s done so much fucking to get to this point in her career, she can’t let it sink to the bottom of the fame whore ocean..

So I guess she’ll dress like a cheesy porn slut in a stripper outfit for her feature dance back in 1995…because that’s her spirit animal and the level of talent she best relates to…

Trashy. Fuck this hooker.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emrata|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Sienna MIller for Vogue UK of the Day

No Comments »

I used to jerk off to Sienna Miller.

She was in every movie naked, sometiems with bush, all while having a 5 /10 level of talent…

But I still used to jerk off to Sienna Miller…

So that makes me feel like we have some unspoken bond, that we will carry through our lives forever…only she doesn’t know I exist and if I was to ever meet her while either she or I was busking in a Subway station in London…and I told her about this bond…I would probably be arrested…

Either way, she still exists.

Posted in:SFW|Sienna Miller

2015

11

Sep

Gigi Hadid Butt Shot of the Day

No Comments »

Gigi Hadid has no ass…but she is the most important model of our generation, or of her generation, or of modern times, because her dad bought it for her…

None of this really matters, I’m in my 40s and she’s not part of my generation, and looking back on my generation, or really my entire existence, every year has an it girl and most fade into obscurity after their year is up…I mean sure they are still around, and have rich husbands and money from her trust fund…where they can laugh about her modeling scam at their dinner parties while summering in yachts…

So I guess this does matter to Gigi, it’s all she ever wanted, instead of getting an education and making a difference in the world, she just felt she should show off her non existent ass instead…it’s more rewarding…and a better use of her dad’s hustle…

Weird.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Katy Perry Panty Flash of the Day

No Comments »

Katy Perry posted a panty flash on her instagram with a fetish dude…and it was not very magical because I couldn’t zoom in and see stray public hairs or the definition of her vaginal lips or even the gunt of fat about her pussy that usually moms in their 40s get, but that Katy Perry has managed to pull off due to her awkward dancing and need to keep her tits since it’s all people care about when it comes to her…

I know, shocking, you’d think “I kissed a girl” was worthy of being forever immortalized in a stone monument somewhere for it’s genius catchy lyrics in a time of early lesbianism….you know a real cultural moment…and not just candy coated garbage pop…

I don’t hate Katy Perry. She’s lovely..I just like calling her fat.

Posted in:Katy Perry|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Ashley Benson in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

People actually sent me hate for calling Ashley Benson a doughy overweight celebrity, who is mainstream hipster rather than edgy hipster, and just very representative of the girls I see out and about these days, all in crop tops, all with big legs and asses and hips, in what I just assume is laziness and hormones in the food…

I think it’s safe to say, not just based on her tits, that I am right that she’s a solid 15 lbs over weight, and it’s not a bad thing to be soft, and magical, because sometimes we need soft and magical for great tits..

I also think a picture probably describes all this 15 lbs overweight far better than I can…and keep in mind haters, I just think celebrities have a certain image to uphold to inspire healthy and fit lives, I fuck girls 100s of pounds overweight if they let me, and it’s not even a fetish, I just take what I can get..

All this to say…I’m a fan….

TO SEE MORE ASHLEY BENSON IN A BIKINI PICS CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER FRIEND AND COSTAR SHAY MITCHELL IN A BIKINI CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER FRIEND AND COSTAR LUCY HALE IN S CROP TOP – NOT THAT ANYONE WOULD WANT TO SEE THAT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Rhian Sugden 2016 Calendar of the Day

No Comments »

Rhian Sugden is a Glamour Model…and mothing says fun like half naked busty Glamour models…..

I guess they realize that they had the skill set and were destined to work the check out at Wal Mart, but then they realized they had tits….and could become Cocktail waitresses, bottle service waitresses, or hostesses…..and if they were really into getting paid they could be cam girls, or strippers or prostitutes, but that’s too trashy for them…they like to keep their level of trash to being in shitty magazines in shitty shoots for shitty audience of average man who likes tits in the UK…only to leverage that and pretend it is real celebrity to lure rich soccer players to have their babies…

Here’s some pics from this Galmour Model’s calendar….that I assume she self produced for her basic dude audience…she relies on to exist…

And with big tits, celebrating big tits, I can’t hate it, even if it’s so fucking average in every way but cup size….which sometimes is the best way to not be average….#tits.

Posted in:Rhian Sugden

2015

11

Sep

Beyonce Big Tits Sally on a Boat of the Day

No Comments »

Beyonce is on some sort of aggressive marketing campaign..

THe other day she did flaunt..

Then the story of Jay Z and her breaking up came out…

Then the story of them being kicked out of their 150,000 dollar a month house because they didn’t want to buy it came out…

Then Jay Z in a hood singing her lyrics to her song at a concert came out…

And I know all this….without every having looked up Beyonce news, it just sort of happens on social media…and the fact that I knew all this terrifies me…

But not as much as Beyonce, on Beyonce, talking about Beyonce, while showing off Beyonce because Beyonce does…

ANd her are her tits…on a boat

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Beyonce|SFW

2015

11

Sep

Diora Baird Breast Feeding of the Day

No Comments »

Diora Baird has some huge fucking tits. Her name should be Big Tits Sally…which is what I call every girl I see with big tits walking down the street because I am a misogynist who notices big tits for more than their purpose of breast feeding, because I believe they have the ability to multi task and also be something I can jerk off to…and I’ll even prove that theory…right now…with these Diora Baird pics…

That said, Diora Baird is from Miami and was in Wedding Crashers…

That said, I don’t know why people feel compelled to fight for the right to breast feed, I’ve never complained when seeing a girl breast feeding, and feel if anyone has it was other women…

Bitches are so catty!!

Posted in:Diora Baird

2015

11

Sep

Edgy Hipster Miley Cyrus Instagram Analysis of the Day

No Comments »

Miley Cyrus as you know is an “Edgy” hipster…even though hipsters don’t really exist, and she’s just part of this drugged up, don’t give a fuck because we put everything on the internet, just being ourselves, sometimes shocking, often times with lots of colors, and genitals, and nipples…because it’s fun to be weird…in this internet generation that I can’t imagine ending bad…until it becomes ultra him to turn your back to social media, going back to a simpler time of reading and movies, which I think can happen, every time I see a hipster with a flip phone with no data plan, until seeing them pull out their iphone to update their tumblr / insta / snap …because they are all their own TV show, content producing assholes I hate…and think should die…and I guess Miley is exploiting that…making money off it…while actual hipsters just live off the trust fund their dad set up for them…

Will they one day teach Miley Cyrus in Art School? Is instagram an art…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW