DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

07

Aug

Natalie Portman’s in a Magazine of the Day

Natalie Portman is cute, even as a mom, but the real reason she’s famous is broken down to two reasons that I can think of, and have written before, because let’s face it, why more do I have to say about Natalie Portman, it’s not like we Summer together and I have this great story about use eating bagels together…

The first reason I think she’s famous is because she’s Jewish. Jewish guys fucking love hot Jewish girls, it gives them hope that they too will find a hot one amongst the inbred troll looking ones…since there are only so many Jewish girls around…and as we know…any culture has a limited amount of hot girls and the hot girl to troll girl ratio is never favorable….always so many ugly girls compared to hot girls….for every race, culture, religion….so when they see her…it’s like OMG…I need that more than Sally down the street…

When you’re not forced to marry a Jewish girl to make your family happy, you have more options…so the hot Jewish girl’s stock is valuable..she’s in high demand…That is why even the fattest most disgusting Jewish girl is a daddy’s girl with a bad attitude, because she knows she’ll be fine…married and mom…to a rich guy…because of limited options…rich guys that would rather be with Natalie Portmant..

The second reason is Star Wars…fans for life…set for life…it’s just one of those franchises..

Here she is in a magazine..

Posted in:Natalie Portman|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Rita Ora’s Stripper Dance of the Day

No Comments »

Rita Ora Rihanna Impersonator posts slutty enough videos to her instagram, you know self promoting herself, like every girl on the internet, and I figure as long as their tits on the internet, I’m not going to complain….I don’t care if this girl is authentic in this world of zero authenticity, I don’t care if this girls is a hack, or an impersonator or if she’s talented or interesting, or producing compelling content….I don’t care that she got Taylor Swift’s boyfriend before Taylor Swift did…I don’t care if she’s good or not…I just care that she’s half naked, and I don’t even really care about that, but if I am going to look at her shit in the media, I’d rather it be like this…because I am a pervert…and so is everyone else…

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Rihanna is a Good Time in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Rihanna is lots of fun….if posting pics of her really rich and successful pop act body in a bikini to her social media is fun…I would argue that since we’ve seen her naked…she could be a lot more fun than this..I would also argue that if she invited you along to stare or experience her life of luxury, it’d be a lot more fun…where as bikini pics…is just standard practice for these people…even hen they don’t have great bodies…because I guess when you sell your soul and body to the world….you feel like they should stare at you in a bikini on your downtime they pretty much paid for, not that they had a choice, Rihanna could have been anyone if her team just posiitoned that person the way the positioned her…

Either way, she’s doing better that you, and I find happiness in that…

Posted in:Rihanna|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Nina Agdal Lingerie Instagram Video of the Day

No Comments »

I like to shit on Nina Agdal…but I am not a Dubai rich person…so I can’t afford to actually do it, like they probably do it, only she’s smart enough to not publish those pics on her social media, she doesn’t need the world knowing her seedy “it makes me a million a year and that’s a lot of booze for my boozy immigrant ass”….strategies…

Cuz we know shes not making it with her modeling…but I guess I also know that this video of her, if you don’t look at her handicapped Danish head…is actually pretty hot…

I mean when you have a body like this, I don’t care how drunk, failed model turned hooker you are…not just because even successful models are hookers, but because her body is banging and that’s good enough for me…

To see Nina Agdal dumb Face Leave Gym CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nina Agdal|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Ariana Grande Doesn’t Hate America When Selling Perfume of the Day

No Comments »

Ariana Grande hates America when it comes to licking donuts, something that would get a homeless person arrested for doing, something that would get a black person killed for doing, something that a Donut shop owner just put out there to get some press to his Donut shop, without remember that no one likes a snitch, and this bitch makes too much money for people, they’ll cleanse her image in two seconds, you can’t ruin her…even when she says she hates America…

People still support her..

If you said you hated America…on your phone the NSA is tracking…the FBI would raid you…especially if you had an Arab name…

But this Grande hooker, who has had a lot of very large penis in her, gets a perfume line…because she doesn’t hate AMerica when it makes her money…which I guess is pretty American of her..

Posted in:Ariana Grande|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Ashley Tisdale’s Bra of the Day

No Comments »

Ashley Tisdale is only interesting to me because she had a botched nose job, even with all her Disney money, and to make her feel better about it, her team paid off the teen choice awards to have her win the “hottest female actor” of the year….which was a show I happened to be watching because I was a pervert and figured I’d tell the 3 people who visit this site that she’s not hot…all while she made millions, and people still jerked off to her, in what was obviously a loser’s battle, where I was the loser, a comfortable place to be, and really nothing new to me, I spend my days writing blogs about some rich and famous chick with no talent’s nose…I’m pretty aware on the overall situation here…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Lucy Hale and Salma Hayek Don’t Give me Boners of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t watch the show that Lucy Hale is on, so maybe her personality shines through her 35 year old looking mom body, and I would just want to ravage her and have my way with her and live happily every with her…because I feel like she’d be a good mom, not annoying and most importantly, is into me fucking all her friends…so I’m just basing everything about her on this picture, and in this picture, I’m not inspired to want to do anything to her, but maybe ask her to pick up my prescriptions, or make me a coffee…

I have however, jerked off the Salma Hayek’s tits, because I was younger, she was Mexican, it was before the internet made me hate celebrities, and it was when I could focus on all she was good for, her tits…

But that was 20 years ago, and like any woman, 20 years is worse on her than being molested by her father….you know makes her more broken, at least physically…so I’m not vibing on this at all…

But I figure post everything that I find to distract me from life…To see the rest of Lucy Hale in her Bloomers – CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lucy Hale|Salma Hayek|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Gigi Hadid for Calvin Harris of the Day

No Comments »

Rich girl, Gigi Hadid, posted a video of her BFF’s lover, Calvin Harris, who is so fucking smart in his marketing, that I am sure his British hipster “producer” dj ass looks in the mirror everyday and says “LOL, I’m trolling all these fools and fucking Taylor Swift, the most famous person in the industry, even after fucking Rita Ora, the Rihanna Impersonator, who was a gateway for me to get to Taylor Swift”….

So it is only natural that he would cast Gigi in his music video, it’s not like he’s paying, or if he is, it’s from the label, so keep you team stronger, make your team money, and probably get to fuck all of the team, because you’re positioned in the bedroom of Taylor Swift, sexual deviant, A-Personality, superstar, who has to be good in the media, but who we all know is fisting herself the second she’s backstage, or in the back of her UBER XL….

Point being, I saw this video the other day, didn’t bother paying attention to it, because I try to avoid encouraging rich kid Gigi, who I think is overrated, to continue to be relevant…rich girls are way better when they are desperate for attention, not getting attention, because they expect to always get what they want, and it just fucks their head…

I am not being paid to post this, but I should be, because I get sucked into tits like the next guy, and the casting behind this was well aware…”MAKE IT VIRAL, MAKE US MONEY”…

Simple…

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Hailee Steinfeld Crotch Shot of the Day

No Comments »

Hailee Steinfeld launched an album, or single, or song called “Love Myself”, which is possibly something all you motherfuckers want to watch Hailee Steinfeld do….

When promoting shitty music, because everyone wants to be a headliner at an EDM music festival, with shitty pop songs…

She posted a pic of her in what looks like fishnets and some black leotard covered vagina action…

She says she loves herself, no she don’t need anybody else…but I prefer video proof of that, not to mention, she’s like Drake and doesn’t write her own shit, just a puppet..

It only has 11,000 listens, I almost feel back about her and her celebrity, like the record label, they probably expected a real hit, I mean why else would they invest in creating this from someone already semi-established in the industry.

It’s all bullshit…but fishnets..

Posted in:Hailee Steinfeld|SFW

2015

07

Aug

Bai Ling is Amazing of the Day

No Comments »

Bai Ling is still an obscure entity in Hollywood, that no one really knows or understands, especially the younger generation who have never heard of her, but 10 years ago, there was a period of time where the paparazzi took pictures all the time, usually showing off her hard nipples all the fucking time, playing up this Chinese thing, even though she’s American based, and her fame whoring became almost legendary…

This was before social media…when relevant people were created by the media, and not by the audience, so she actually doesn’t matter now, pushing 50 years old, I would assume…

But she posted the above video on her instagram, and it’s just fucking genius, creepy and weird, but genius…and I am impressed

There’s something fascinating about this, not just that I want to bang a Chinese middle aged, doll looking attention seeker, or her tits…there’s more to her…and I want to figure it all out but I’m too lazy…

She Also had a Labia Slip HERE

rel=”attachment wp-att-153607″>

Posted in:Bai Ling|SFW