DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

17

Apr

Nicole Trunfio’s in a Bikini of the Day

Nicole Trunfio was the Emily Ratajkowski who got away….basically she was a few months, maybe even a year too early to go viral…but she was actually a hot Australian model, who was just town to get topless in shoots, and who would have destroyed that Blurred Lines video harder than the girl who did, and would have gone just as viral, only more sustainable, since she’s actually a model…the kind who was willing to show her tits…

Well, instead of getting famous as fuck in America, she got famous as fuck back home in Australia…she also got pregnant as fuck and had a baby 2 months ago, only to bounce back looking like this…because that’s how actual fucking babes do it…not like your wife or all the bitches whining at Starbucks who keep fucking eating because they are so tired from being a mom….but really have just given the fuck up…

Baby or not….Nicole Trunfio is great…and not just her big milk filled tits…all of her…and all she represents…it shoulda been her…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nicole Trunfio

2015

17

Apr

Kate Moss is a Braless Old Lady of the Day

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No matter how old and beat up Kate Moss looks as she gets old…and her lifestyle catches up to her….she’ll always be amazing to me…but that’s probably because I’ve known her pussy was old and beat up a decade ago when she had already fucked everyone…and the everyone she had fucked had fucked everyone…making her vagina a science experiment that I could only imagine was a leathery petri dish of weirdness..probably dry, flakey and with a rash or at least “don’t worry they are just ingrown hairs”….all while railing lines of cocaine as her daughter hung out at home motherless…as she showed the world her tits over and over and over…in the most amazing, glamourous ways…

I’m a fan.

Posted in:Kate Moss

2015

17

Apr

Josephine Skriver for Juicy of the Day

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Josephine Skriver is a model…who I guess did some work for Victoria’s Secret and who is now doing work for Juicy Couture…a brand that is probably made in the Victoria’s Secret Asian Sweatshops since that is how these mall brands do things…and if you’ve ever been to a mall, and I have, it’s the best place to scope out hot, young, angsty teensin short shorts and crop tops…

Well…her back story is that this Josephine Skriver is from Denmark, she was designed by science…her mom a lesbian and her dad a gay marine Biolgist…and apparently…she was one of his science experiments that went right…some create our own perfect and amazing creature as our own….that merges two groups that hate either other…Gay Men..and Lesbians…because while fighting for the same equal rights…gays hate pussy, lesbians hate dick, and they are so far removed from each other…those friendships never work…..and makes the world think gays and lesbians can parent….because they actually want the kids unlike white trash who do it for the unaffordable abortions..

All this to say, She’s probably amazing in bed from all the weird gay and lesbian shit she was exposed to growing up…and I don’t just mean being well dressed….

Posted in:Josephine Skriver

2015

17

Apr

Eliza Dushku and her Ass Eating Dog of the Day

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Eliza Dushku posted this picture of her dog sniffing her ass…which I guess is because she’s on her period…

I know, I through she’d be too old to get her period too. It seems like it was 20 years ago that she had a 6 month career making movies as the hot chick…

I wonder what she’s up to, I mean with her promoting herself in obvious ways that scream “i want you to ask what I am up to, so I’ll put up some me with my doggy erotica weirdness”…but luckily not too weird…she clearly left the peanut butter out it this time…

All this to say…she apparently dropped out of Hollywood, moved to Boston because Hollywood is shit, and is actually in college following her dreams of doing whatever it is she put on hold to do this hollywood nonsense…before realizing that it is just that…nonsense…so good for her…and keep the dog in ass pics coming…cuz I don’t care if she’s over 35…or that she fucks black guys…she’s still Eliza Dushku to me and I’m all about letter her sit on my face….to celebrate that…l

Posted in:Eliza Dushku|SFW

2015

17

Apr

Emily Ratajkowski in One of her Final Campaigns of the Day

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The nice thing with the internet is that it builds these worthless idiots up into thinking that they matter…all because it opens up a few doors to rich dudes and casting directors and decision makers…I’m assuming Ben Afleck, David Fincher, Robin Thick, and Kanye West…and now possibly Zac Effron…who say “I want to fuck the tits in that blurred lines video”…so they give her a job in whatever they are doing, everyone wins…until she’s left in the dust as the decision makers go onto fuck other instagram models…

Yes…Emrata and what I assume are fake tits, despite how committed she is to proving they are not fake tits….was the one nude low level model who managed to crossover to the mainstream…

But there is no way she’s going to last, there are too many Emily Ratajkowski’s in the world…all interchangeable..so like so many stripper whores before her, I hope she saved up her money, or at least found a rich dude with low self esteem to support her because she was the tits in that blurred lines video…

She’s got zero star power…but she has tits…and this instagram 5 minutes of relevance shit should fucking end…in a few minutes…

Until that happens, here she is in a campaign she probably made 50,000 dollars doing…She’s really not that hot…I mean I get the Angelina Jolie bootleg, bargain basement at the Church Bazaar…vibe….but she’s not the real deal…even if she’s playing make-belief and thinks she is…I can guarantee that no one fucking cares about her or her secondary hollywood acting roles..that if she’s lucky will lead to playing the “hot girl”…like Alba, Tara Reid and the other talentless hacks before her…but I don’t even think she’d amount to that…

But she does have a great monobrow…and she has done a lot of modeling for someone who is 5 foot 4 and not a model…all while proving the internet can create viral fucking jokes…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2015

17

Apr

Marisa Papen is Some Hipster Tits of the Day

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If you’ve seen one hipster photographer who isn’t a real photographer but who has a camera and photoshop he can apply filters taht make shit look like film….you’ve seen all hipster photoshoots…

It is all the fucking same, it’s like take a hipster model who is willing to get naked cuz she’s a hipster, put her in a trailer park, doing the dishes, or something equally obvious…maybe riding a long board, or a bike….or whatever…and take the pics…

I find it hard to get inspired, feel anything, I’ve seen it all, and now that hipster is mainstream, I am polluted by it all…

But the nice thing about it is HIPSTER MODEL TITS!!

Who gives a fuck why, or where this is, or where this is going…whether it’s for instagram or to increase a models profile…

Just be happy it happened, because Marisa Pepen is the future,…at least that’s how I feel about her right now…while looking at her pics…

Posted in:Marisa Papen

2015

17

Apr

Jordana Brewster Naked in Allure of the DAy

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Jordana Brewster was a teen soap star in the 90s, which means at least one of you jerked off to her when you called in sick, took the day off school, or was on disability because you’re a retard…and soap opera’s were your porn…it was 1995…and dial-up internet was annoying with the slow loading pictures and no videos…

Since then she’s turned 35…

She’s also done a bunchof Fast & Furious movies…and that’s about it…but I guess that’s all you need to do…just ask Paul Walker…oh wait…you can’t..he’s dead…so ask Vin Diesel…who I thought was gay until last week…only to have found out my friend gave him a blowjob…which brings up an important point…can you still get a blowjob from a girl…if you’re gay…I didn’t ask if he came from it…I just left it at that…and the answer is yes…you can be straight for pay, or to give you street cred or whatever…

Not that that has anything to do with Jordana Brewster, I mean, it may be the reason she got the job…but I figure that would involve more anus.

She’s naked in Allure, not showing her clit…so what’s the fucking point of getting naked….I guess posts like this…

Posted in:Jordana Brewster

2015

17

Apr

Lais Ribeiro Naked Photoshoot of the DAy

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Lais Ribeiro is a model and these pictures are probably old, I’ve probably posted them on the site, because I generally don’t miss nude photos, even of low level models, as that’s pretty much what I do all day…if you consider working an hour a day at this all day..it just feels like it is…

That said, I can’t keep track of the nude pics being produced anymore because everyone is nude…there was a time not so long ago when people weren’t nude and compamies like Playboy tricked them into getting nude by showing them a briefcase of money…now they are just on it on their own to get noticed in what may be the best marketing campaign ever…because I like nude…but that is almost making nude pics boring….

We’ve seen it all before..we are shoved nudes pics down our throats always…and it’s only a matter of time before fashion turns into official porn..and official porn goes even darker…all in hopes of giving boners…to people who have seen it all and find it hard to get boners to basic things like tits…

Thanks to these feminists and all the tit pics, tits have become the new ankles of the 1800s…and I’m ready for that…because my boner problems may actually be health related not seen too many tits related…

If these are old consider them a flashback friday…

Posted in:Lais Ribeiro

2015

17

Apr

Dude’s First Time on TV and Other Videos of the Day

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London Road Rage

School Dance Show Included Twerking…

Bad Luck…

Russians are Weird

Dude Risks Life to Save Someone WHo Fell in the Tracks

Polish Video of the DAy

Extreme Pitbull Fight.

Gisele’s “Last” Runway Show

I think I posted this the other day…but it’s handjob Karaoke in Japan that went viral…

Best Thing to Have Happen in a Court hearing

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2015

17

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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The most interesting thing about the internet is that everyone is communicating with each other all fucking day, but the reality is that everyone is just communicating with themselves and a screen in their hand, because I’ve been hustling bitches to get naked for me for years…so connecting with strangers..and every one of those strangers…has sent me nudes…but more importantly…hand conversations with me that I barely participate in…and I’m just thinking…”bitch you talking to yourself”….but she thinks…she’s talking to me…

It’s pretty fucking weird and I look forward to the day that I end up on a Private island with no internet connection…because all this noise is making me lose my mind..

That said…I’m still drinking from last night…and I think I got AIDS from making out with some gutter trash…because not everything I do is limited to the internet…I’m a real person you know…

Here are some stepLINKS

Girls in Tight Shorts..
GO

Red Hot Ball VS Jawbreaker……No Idea Why…
GO

Shooting Leaves 5 Dead Phoenix
GO

The Hoff’s Music…
GO

Naked Tranny Actor of the Day
GO

Emma Slater Got Legs
GO

Korean Sex in a Korean Movie
GO

Street Art VS Yoga Poses
GO

Charlotte McKinney is Dating Stephen Dorff…Stephen Dorff has had Sex with Everyone….THerefore Charlotte McKinney has the Vagina of a Street Hooker…
GO

ESPN Host is a Cunt!
GO

Magician’s POV
GO

Jessica Parker is Back on TV…
GO

Find Gold Diggers to Fuck….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS