DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

26

Jun

Filippa Hamilton in Bikini of the Day

Filippa Hamilton is a 28 year old french model who has done a lot of work for Ralph Laure apparently…he booked her for the first time when she was 16….and that is perverted in America, yet legal in the rest of the world…

She’s worked with the best photographers…and apparently got Fired from Ralph Lauren for being fat, and I guess that’s what happens when you go at them at 16, before they really fill out to their full potential of big titty….and amazing…

You see fashion has expectations out of their women, and it’s that they don’t eat fucking cheese and bread all day…but rather workout and stay fit…and I see how she’d be considered plus sized to them…which happens to be perfect for me…

Let’s celebrate this fatty, who got fired for being fat, making her a real fatter, even though I feel like Kate Upton would win at a mud wrestle/pie eating/weigh in…but still celebrated…but I guess Kate Upton caters to Bumpkins…while this Euro amazingness is too classy for that…

Posted in:Filippa Hamilton

2014

26

Jun

Jillian Murray By Matt Prokop of the Day

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Her name is Jillian Murray and she’s in a movie called Cabin Fever Patient Zero….where she plays..the hot as fuck little thing who I hope doesn’t die because a movie without Jillian is a movie not worth watching…seriously…

Here’s the tailer…looks fun….especially when she’s about to get eaten out…dirty dirty Jillian Murray…

That said this pics were shot by Matt Prokop, who happens to be Sarah Hyland’s long term boyfriend, who I guess has gone onto photography, because it’s a good way to look and take pics of girls who don’t look like they are still 14 back when they first started dating….

Not that this is about them…It’s about Jillian Murray and how badly I’d like to take her on Romantic walks on the beach where I sing her love songs…even though I can’t sing…I just do it for eternal love….

Posted in:Jillian Murray

2014

26

Jun

Eliza Dushku in a Bikini of the Day

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Apparently, 100 year old Eliza Dushku, who you may remember from very important movies like “The New Guy”…and probably more relevant “Bring it On”….both happened 20 or more years ago…and were some straight to DVD caliber performances, even if the tastes of the masses were less refined when it came to comedy, and both were blockbusters…broke up with RICK FOX, the black man she had inside her because bitches love black cock….even when they are half white and Canadian, just as long as they are ex players for the Lakers…it makes them socially acceptable yet still black enough…to fill fetishes…

Anyway, to announce her freedom, like a crazy 40 year old Divorcee, which I guess she is, she posted a little serene yoga pose in a bikini…just so you all know she’s ok…

I prefer close-up shots.

Posted in:Eliza Dushku

2014

26

Jun

Britney Spears is Middle Aged of the Day

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In case you didn’t know…Britney Spears is Middle Aged and she looks it, even with all the BOTOX and modern conveniences that a billionaire popstar has access to…yet now she looks like she’s just a mom in a Walmart parking lot…buying a vat of mayonnaise for their weekend Fourth of July BBQ….which I guess is porn to some people…but it just makes me feel old as fuck because I remember jerking off to her “Hit me baby one more time video”…back when the internet first happened.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Britney Spears

2014

26

Jun

Sarah Hyland Bikini for Instagram of the Day

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Her name is Sarah Hyland…you know her as the cute girl who is being cultivated by Sofia Vergara to learn how to generate more buzz for herself by showing her tits…at least that’s what I like to think is going on here…but the fact is, she may just be a nice girl. But where’s the fun in that.

What I do know is that she looks like she’s 14, despite being over 18, which is a little freaky but legal to stare at without feeling awkward or like the pervert that you are.

It’s the “she’s 18, even if genetically she’s built like she’s 14″…line that makes it socially acceptable to masturbate to the pictures she puts of herself in a bikini top on the internet…which when reversed “she’s 14 but genetically she’s built like she’s 18 thanks to getting her period at 4” line doesn’t reverse…because sex offence is based on maturity level people…not that I’ve never fucked 25 year old retards who act 4…because they were retards…before…which I guess is wrong too…but you can’t go to jain for it, so I guess it’s not that wrong…

Posted in:Sarah Hyland

2014

26

Jun

Lily Aldridge is Greasy for James Macari of the Day

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Her name is Lily Aldridge. You probably know her as a Victoria’s Secret angel, since that’s what really made her relevant. I know her as some LA scenester chick, who was the daughter of a Playboy Playmate, who grew up in the LA rich kid scene, and in doing that positioned herself with rockstars, modelling agents and whoever else could give her work…she was in the VIP at the parties…booking shitty tampon commercials before actually locking down the rockstar and leveraging that with Victoria’s Secret be be the Rockstar wife model on their roster…

She’s hot enough, likely a horrible opportunist fame whore, but then again who isn’t…and I guess what the lesson we can all learn from this is that if you move to LA or New York and party with the right people, you’ll get an actual career out of it…and if not a career, a retirement plan thanks to getting knocked up by a rich dude….at least if you’re a girl…if you’re a dude…that’d be pretty gay and impossible..

Posted in:Lily Aldridge

2014

26

Jun

Maria Menounos Thinks She’s a Bikini Model in Bora Bora of the Day

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Apparently, Maria Menounos thinks she’s a bikini model because she’s posing for a photographer like she was a bikini model…

I can explain what happened here, at least according to me. The girl was an ego, who always thought she was hot, went to LA to become famous and ended up getting a hosting gig on a shitty tabloid show, talking about the people she wished she was, and after 10 years of that, for some reason, people started to notice her and pay attention to her, so she quit that job since she didn’t want to be a Mary Hart forever, and she launched a reality show, and is now modelling bikinis like a Kardashian, cuz at 35-40 or whatever she is, she knows it’s now or fucking never…seize the day…

I don’t think these pics are all that bad, aside from the desperation, I just think HER PUSSY BIKINI FLASH is better.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maria Menounos

2014

26

Jun

Throwback Thursday – Jessica Simpson’s Cameltoe of the Day

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It is Throwback Thursday on instagram, and someone posted these two pics of Jessica Simpson from what I assume was many lives and pounds ago…that I don’t even believe are actually Jessica Simpson, but rather a lookalike with similar features…making it the #TBT of the day…even if it’s not actually Jessica Simpson, but instead just some trick in a white bikini all wet and see through…I mean it can’t be Jessica Simpson, despite her vagina being hungry, there is no way pictures like this would exist of her…but I am not a foresenic analyst, it’s good enough for me to remember the pre-baby…pre-weightwatchers…pre-competitive eating…even if it’s fake a shit…because ignorance is bliss…

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|TBT

2014

26

Jun

Nancy Grace and The Man with the Missing Son and Other Videos of the Day

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The Reporter who gets Naked for Ronaldo…

I’m still trying to understand the naked Korean Lady vs the Car

Hot Old Lady of the Day

Bad Driver of the Day

Black WOman Beats White Woman While 2 Year Old Watches

Dude Throws Water on a Reporter

Slip and Slide Fail

Posted in:Videos

2014

26

Jun

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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It’s always tragic when you want to sext a girl at 4 am and no one is around to sext, forcing you to call your bank or your internet provider customer support because you know it is open 24 hours…hoping to get a girl rep…to jerk off to…and by tragic I mean…amazing.

Here are some stepLINKS…

A Bunch of Sweaty Bitches
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Titanic VS Iceberg
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Crocodile Hunter’s Daughter Wants Girls To Cover Up – Which Is Weird Since She Grew Up without a Dad
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Soldier Sings on America’s Got Talent
GO#.U6tRo6j2rfY

A Man in Black Face Pretending to be Kanye in Font of Kim
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Coco is Amazing
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The Homie Babe Monica Sims in a Bikini
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Things Your Doing Wrong Everyday
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Idiot of the Day
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The New Guy on Big Brother is a Fucking Joker
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This is where all the Cougars Who Want to Fuck Play…
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This Queen Elizabeth Photobomb is Good
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Emmy Rossum Intentional Hard Nipples
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Chanelle Hayes in a Bikini
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So Many Girls Getting Their Fuck On…
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Posted in:stepLINKS