DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

25

Jun

Selena Gomez Diffuses Abortion Rumors of the Day

When a celebrity walks into a health clinic, for either the abortion pill, or some other genital herpes or STD related medical issue, the key to diffusing the rumor, is to post a selfie explaining that it is just Sinus Problems…

Fabulously/intensely dealing with sinus problems. Clearly. #blamethe70sflarepants

I mean she can’t be at the medical center for vagina related issues if she makes a point of telling the internet it’s just her fucking sinuses..

We call that pretty fucking suspect behavior…

No really, it’s just sinus issues…I swear, that’s why I posted it on my instagram…when I could have not told anyone…since realit

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

25

Jun

Miranda Kerr’s Nipples for Elle Spain of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t care, so you probably don’t care…but Miranda Kerr brought out her implants in some fashion magazine that I assume she wasn’t paid for, but instead did because she can now show her nipples whenever the fuck she wants, as she’s not tied down to that pesky 3 million dollar Victoria’s Secret contract that was really holding her back in her career and not allowing her to do free shoots, when taking time off from fucking multiple billionaires…

I’ve heard she’s a horrible person by people she works with. I believe it. She’s got a weirdo face…but she is still an ex Victoria’s Secret model like Gisele, Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks before her, I am sure her demise is going to be just fine…and as long as there are nipples…I’ll notice, despite not caring…I’m just that kind of guy.

Apparently I POSTED THESE IN APRIL …I am better at this than I thought I was…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

25

Jun

Miley Cyrus Does Steve Urkel of the Day

No Comments »

What can’t Miley Do….

Miley Cyrus is Making Fun of Us…as she does the Urkel on stage for her fans that probably paid too much for a ticket…because she can do whatever the fuck she wants…the idiots will cheer her on…and she just keeps on going deeper and deeper with this circus clown car shit you know she’ll be thinking about in 10 years when no one cares and she’s got the hairdryer in her hand while taking a bath…ready to end it all…but for some reason I love it..

You see despite being corporate, and making huge money for a lot of evil people, I feel like it’s a fuck you on everyone’s part to the masses, or at least by the creative director…while being the total opposite of anything punk rock…who made this puppet humiliate herself and I just can’t imagine execs being behind this,but just shaking their head at its ridiculousness as they count their money…

And the nice thing is that she’s roped her sister into all this…

TO SEE A WHOLE LOT OF HER CONCERT PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2014

25

Jun

Apparently this is Dakota Fanning’s Ass of the Day

No Comments »

Dakota Fanning is no longer the 7 year old creepy kid who was pretending she was in her mid 40s…

Now she’s over 18, but her ass is pretending it is in her mid 40s….

At least that is what I am seeing here…from a movie called Very Good girls….that did some film festival run and that is now hitting select theatres in what I assume is her big “I’m a real actor, this is a real movie, with a good story, to maintain some credibility” script…

Here’s the trailer, even though her ass

Posted in:Dakota Fanning

2014

25

Jun

Faith Picozzi By Luke Pearsall of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is FAITH PICOZZI …I’ve posted her Ma href=”http://drunkenstepfather.com/2013/09/10/faith-picozi-naked-for-lotus-josephine-of-the-day#.U6sC_Kj2qzM” target=”_blank”> NIPPLES BEFORE …

I think there was a time she humoured me on instagram, when I would write insane things about having faith, or believing in faith, or you gotta have faith, you see cuz her name is faith and I figured it just made fucking sense, I am two dimensional like that…my jokes aren’t funny and that is probably why she didn’t insist on meeting me and sitting on my face for 3 or for days…because she’s a hot redhead and I’ve never had a redhead, but I want one, and it might as well be one like Faith, and not the weirdo one missing a toe I went to high school with who made me sick me my stomach every time I looked at them because they looked like a scummy hand after they just ate cheetos…and I found it repulsive..

But Faith…is a good one…and good ones are rare….

These pics are by photographer named LUKE PEARSALL

Posted in:Faith Picozzi

2014

25

Jun

Hero of the Day

No Comments »

This guy…is a hero….even if this is fake, staged, or his advice is pretty fucking generic and obvious, his delivery…is legendary…this guy should be hosting the Tonight Show…not the other retard they got going with his silly games with his guest that got old the first week of his original show…like they would if the asshole brought them out at any party you attended, before you beat him up…yet the execs at the networks like it and think it’s clever…fuck you world…but before you do that, let this dude inspire you.

Posted in:Videos

2014

25

Jun

Lea Michele in Some Post Fiance Death Bikini Pics of the Day

No Comments »

I am a firm believer in not moving on with your life after your so called love, who conveniently, was more of a marketing strategy for you and your TV Show, killed himself in a drug overdose that you didn’t prevent, because you were too busy tucking your fucking balls in, it makes you sing at a higher octave, pretending you are a girl, you useless Glee, man-faced, twat…

A twat that squeezed into a bikini, even though she should have the SADS but all i see is SMILES…even though boys aren’t supposed to be happy to wear bikinis, or maybe they are, it’s 2014, and the slogan is fuck everything…There are no rules, there are no systems, wear panties and live life as a girl even if you aren’t one if you want, every day was halloween, filled with sex, and I approve because I’d like the whole world to get AIDS and die…it is our only hope…

That said, I want to get AIDS from her friend in red…even if I’m too busy mad at this picture for having stupid fucking captions on it, but not as stupid as Lea Michele’s 1990s butterfly tattoo I assume she got back when she was researching things trashy hookers do, before she grew her hair out…

TO SEE THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lea Michele

2014

25

Jun

The Slap By Max Landis of the Day

No Comments »

I am late to the game on this one….but Max Landis, who is the son of John Landis, who you may know as the director of a lot of fucking movies like Beverly Hills Cop III…and Animal House…

It’s nice to see some Hollywood trust fund money and resources being spent on making stupid Youtube videos set to weird indy lesbian rock…

I find this very relaxing to watch.

Posted in:Videos

2014

25

Jun

Debby Ryan is a Red Carpet Face of the Day

No Comments »

#451203370 / gettyimages.com

I don’t really give a fuck about red carpets, I find the whole process of elitism pretty ridiculous, like these motherfuckers are important, or more important than you because some asshole put them on some guest list bullshit…not to mention the idea of laying down a red carpet for anything other than some noble prince dismounting his carriage to enter the palace because he’s got too much fucking money and a kingdom of idiots to lay down red carpet so that his feet don’t touch peasant concrete…is just fucking annoying…and played out…like limos…

You see there was a time when the rich and famous could afford limos and driver, and now it is available to every white trash mom on her 40th birthday…it kind of lacklustre…

Either way, her name is Debby Ryan and she attended some event that she looked thrilled to be attending as she made zero fucking emotions with her face and that for some reason is really funny to me…is she medicated, is she a robot, does she want to be at home and her PR and stage mom are making her do this, is this just her autistic way…

Either way, she looks like a boring fuck.

#451203138 / gettyimages.com

#451189508 / gettyimages.com

Posted in:Debby Ryan

2014

25

Jun

Stella Hudgens in her Bikini Top of the Day

No Comments »

Stella Hudgens is the less famous, possibly better looking, at least younger and less damaged version of her monkey-like sister with the big bush, even though I like big Bush, sister Vanessa Hudgens…and she’s in a bikini…

I don’t really know if this is exciting or not, because I find everything boring, but I do know she’s an 18 year old who lives in her sister’s shadow, even though her sister hasn’t really made that much money in the business, her actual celebrity is pretty huge…and any sister in the shadow of her sister will usually rebel to make even a little noise to get noticed…

I don’t know if that’s what is happening here, but I do know she’s in a bikini…

I know, journalism at it’s finest. Don’t blame me, blame society as a whole for making us idiots who need to feed off fluffy bullshit like who is in a bikini, or what size tits a bitch has, instead of real life issues, like how tight her pussy is or whether she does anal, which she probably does, all the under 25 year olds do.

Posted in:Stella Hudgens