I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2014

13

Feb

Gillian Jacobs for Nylon of the Day

Gillian Jacobs is some 31 year old on some show called Community, and she’s flashing her bra like some kind of teen on a school trip…even though she’s not a teen…despite what her botox is telling you…or maybe this is her natural state…she doesn’t drink, which may go against everything I stand for and know, and which may remind me of how much I hate non-drinkers because they judge me and my drinking friends like they are better than us because they fear fun while escaping life’s problems…making her a great designated driver probably a better calling than being a bikini model…because she’s still 31 and 31 is historically known for having “problem” spots…

Either way, here’s her spread for complex, where she is unfortunately…not spread.

Posted in:Gillian Jacobs

2014

13

Feb

TOP 5 Reasons Escorts are Better than Dating for Valentine’s Day of the Day

I was surfing one of our partner’s sites called Slixa.com.

It is the Best Escort Directory On The Internet and it got me to thinking that escorts are better than the regular girls looking for long term relationships, or more importantly, the ones you’re wasting your time trying to get attention from…with nothing to show for it.

Here are the top 5 reasons why escorts are better than internet dating.

5- They Don’t Nag You / Annoy You / Ruin Your Life

Whenever you are in a committed relationship, or even dating, the tables quickly shift from “I hate being alone, I am going to get a girlfriend…to I need to be alone, I can’t handle this girl anymore, she is making her problems my problems, and my life an accessory or puppet in her life”…a life filled with plans you have no say in, gossip you don’t care about, activities you don’t want to participate in…you know from hot and passionate and fun to “you snore too loud, you forget to use a coaster, do I look fat”….what happened to the fun and sex? Oh right, it died after we first had sex…or after you broke my fucking heart…you get what I am saying here…emotions are better spent on dogs.

4- You Get to Choose Them

Whenever you are in a relationship, or even dating, it always ends up being a committed relationship after a while…where for whatever amount of time you’re with that person…you have to have the same sex with the same body with that person…she may try to switch it up and keep things fresh…but it never is.

Not to mention you end up with whatever girl you end up settling with. Not the pornstar you want to be with. In life girls choose us, with escorts, we choose them…

You choose the escort or escorts like a menu of the most mind blowing and unforgettable kind from the pornstar escorts /a> you already love, to Las Vegas Escorts, to pretty much anything you want…you choose depending on your mood.

3- No Pressure

When it comes to dating at any level, there is pressure. There is a song and dance that involves seduction, even if you’ve been together forever. You have to do the right things and say the right things. But with escorts, you don’t have to wear the right thing, smell the right cologne, send the right Valentines Day card message…you don’t have to have a great body, or even be handsome at all, you only have to be anything but your amazing self, and that Escort will embrace it.

2- No Need to Wine and Dine – It’s All About You…..

When you are dating or married, you have invested time and money into a person. Whether it’s 20 dollars for a coffee date, 50 dollars for a movie date and 100 dollars for a dinner date…you are throwing money in the fire or worst the unknown where there is no guarantee of fire….unless of course you like the companionship and would rather be at coffee, at a movie, or at dinner than sitting at home in your underwear being left alone…there’s always an investment with no Guarantee of getting the attention that you want to get, even after you get married and she gets half of everything…you don’t get what you want, on your terms…you cater to her…which sucks….

1- No Ulterior Motive

Girls who aren’t Escorts are the Actual Whores. They are out for themselves, always dating up, out for your money..grabbing you by the balls…before stomping on them and leaving you a shell of yourself…a broken man especially after finding out she banged all your friends…you get what I am saying here…and that is who knows why a girl is into you, or if she’s sincere in her efforts….

SO If you’re looking for love, romance, the Pornstar experience, a Girlfriend experience, a good time while on vacation…or on business while the wife is at home with the kids…with a girl who won’t judge, who will make all your dreams come true, leading to legendary memories….instead of hitting Match.com or OKCupid to be disappointed with garbage…VISIT The Best Escort Directory Ever…It’s the Facebook for escorts….

Here are some pics of some of their amazing girls:

Posted in:stepLIST

2014

13

Feb

Helena Christensen in Vs. Magazine of the Day

I’ve been a huge Helena Christensen is 100 fucking years old but she’s still got it supporter…if anything I created the fucking movement…I’m the fucking president of the fan club…since I created the fucking thing as fan clubs are a solid distraction from being the creepy pervert in the van outside her house. Creepy fan clubs justify why I have her face tattooed on my pubic bone…they justify why I’ve created life sized models of her with deli meat crafted vaginas…to have mock-weddings with…they justify why I wall papered my masturbation room with pictures of her…it’s all for work…to celebrate a natural beauty…

Then someone posted a pic of her at Fashion week next to some other old as fuck chick Kate Bosworth…

and Helena looked like a grandmother in some wig to cover her thin cancer hair…or some shit…making these shoot for VS seem like it’s fucking lying to me…and that girls all age…and that they don’t stay perfect for 40 years…that’s just a myth they want you to believe….

Posted in:Helena Christensen

2014

13

Feb

Sarah Jessica Parker Promoting Shoes of the Day

I am not into beastiality…however…there is something oddly erotica about Sarah Jessica Parker showing off her legs.

I know comparing her to a horse is such a played out angle for a played out woman who doubles as the figure head for all that is wrong in the world…not that I am against feminism or sluts but that I know behind the scenes the Sex and the City show was written by a gay dude, making girls have gay dude priorities, which is totally not what women are really designed for, leading to a lot of herpes, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, HIV, and single 45 year olds who wished they got married back when they decided to be “career” women who were free and sexually liberated like it was the 60s again…

But she has such a serious horse head – there’s a reason people compare her to one…and all I want to say about this is that I repeat I don’t find SJP hot…I am just oddly attracted to her legs in this pic…and I guess I should just take ownership on this, I mean this is my site and I did just post this cuz I find it hot, it’s like my wife just walked in on me jerking off to Gay porn…but it’s probably just as bad as if it was….

This is not a proud moment.

Posted in:Sarah Jessica Parker

2014

13

Feb

Adriana Lima for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

Last week, or maybe it was this week, I posted ON ADRIANA LIMA …comparing her to getting off to lactating “hand expression” videos of girls milking themselves on Youtube.

You know the mom, with the mom body, pulling out her mom tits, pretending it’s for a higher purpose like feeding her kid and defending her rights as a mother, when she’s obviously doing it in the Starbucks for me to get turned on…I mean why else would she be staring at me staring at her when she does it…

But the fact is that despite being a mom of multiples, and a model who’s in her 30s, which might as well be 100, this Adriana Lima still gets paid…and when photoshoopped enough to look tanned and toned…shit’s pretty ok to look at…because unlike the stretch mark vagina I was sexting last night…this vagina doesn’t need to be intact after her natural child birth when the rest of her is…for pictures like this…

Posted in:Adriana Lima

2014

13

Feb

Fuck Me in the Ass Because I Love Jesus of the Day

Sometimes, you need musical interlude to make your blogging day better, today’s was sent in from DILLONAIRE who I think was trying to send me a message and that message is that it’s not gay if no one sees…in a if a tree falls in the woods situation…the anal sex way…

This comes in after some pretty serious religious debates that have been going on ON THE SITE WITH HATERS and I felt it was relevant enough…

I generally hate these kinds of things, but it’s cute enough for today.

Posted in:Videos

2014

13

Feb

Sara Sampaio is Doing the Import Model Hustle of the Day

There is a spectrum from Instagram Model to Supermodel….which would be a good info graphic, but who has time for that bullshit, especially when we all know that Victoria’s Secret is pretty much the highest you can get on the charts as far as I am concerned because it may not pay the best, but it makes you a household name, that leads to booking all kinds of campaigns well into your 40s like you were Heidi Klum…on the lower end of the spectrum lives Import models…who do have a following and are somewhere around Video Vixen in hotness…yet still making some money to get half naked….

Now this Sara Sampaio chick, straight from Portugal, is already a Victoria’s Secret model, making moves while being hot, but it’s nice to see her role play as a low level model, making you think she’s accessible, in a car show boner thanks to bitches with cars bro….that isn’t as good as her role playing as a street hooker in your hotel suite…but it’s still worth posting when you got nothing better to do with your time…

Posted in:Sara Sampaio

2014

13

Feb

More Candice Swanepoel and Edita Vilkeviciute Tits for Vogue Germany of the Day

Candice Swanepoel and Edita Vilkeviciute did Vogue Germany topless because that’s the foundation of modelling, you know find yourself some awkwardly tall girl, who has a good facial structure and who isn’t fat to photograph, convince her that she’s some kind of artist, or canvas that the camera loves and that brands will pay tens of thousands to spend a day with, you know really work them over to think they are part of a bigger thing, or a higher purpose, like they were sent here from heaven to be in catalogs to sell shit people don’t need for a reason, it has to have a reason…and in finding that reason, so that they don’t feel like vapid cunts fucking the system for being pretty, they do “artistic” projects, where they lend their bodies to perverts masked as photographers…usually nude…because it’s all part of the job even when it doesn’t pay…usually the nudes don’t…even though as far as I’m concerned – they are all that matter.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Edita Vilkeviciute

2014

13

Feb

Bridget Blonde, Talisa Monet and Madison Paige for Brilyent is Brilliant of the Day

Comments Off on Bridget Blonde, Talisa Monet and Madison Paige for Brilyent is Brilliant of the Day

I am pretty into instagram superstar Bridget Blonde. She’s one of those inked up, crazy haired, big breasted, short short wearing goddess sent from internet heaven directly into my life through my phone…

So it’s only natural that as a guy who stalks her online in all her amazing photoshoots, I am going to stalk her modelling campaigns…like this one for BRILYENT

The other models in the mix are Talisa Monet, Madison Paige but Bridget Blond is the magic…

Check out their cool clothes Here

Posted in:Bridget Blonde|Madison Paige|Talisa Monet|Videos

2014

13

Feb

Charlize Theron Covering her Face of the Day

One thing I like about Charlize Theron is that her mom killed her father because he was “abusive”…making her the kind of girl who grew up thinking it was ok to murder people if they rubbed you the wrong way…and being someone who rubs people the wrong way, not because I am abusive, but rather misunderstood, even if just through words…makes her dangerous…and that is exciting…and part of the reason I’ve tried fucking convicted killers a few times by romancing them while they were still in jail….

The other thing I like about Charlize Theron is that she’s a model turned actress, that when she was in LA early on was very willing to do anything to be famous…and it worked.

Here she is covering her face, because I guess she’s old now…but I’ll always remember 1997 Playboy…where she started….because as far as I am concerned it’s still 1997…which also happens to be the last year I bought clothes.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Charlize Theron