DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

01

Feb

Renee Olstead Amazing Big Titty Nip Slip of the Day

My friend Foetus la Platain sent me these pics earlier, but I was too busy working real nipples to bother with some Renee Olstead chick you probably haven’t heard of, but who was fat and busty, until losing weight and leaking nudes a few years ago, putting her on the map and getting her to whatever level of fame she’s at, a level I call paparazzi noticing her when her nipple is hanging out of her weird corset top…it’s a good old fashion nip slip that I assume happened when she took this off to pee and put it back on wrong, and by that I mean, that she did on purpose to get people to talk about her.

here are the pics…they work for me.

Posted in:Renee Olstead

2014

31

Jan

Jessica Simpson Photoshopped for Jessica Simpson Brand of the DAy

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Apparently Jessica Simpson in a bathing for her billion dollar Walmart brand is a big deal…everyone is talking about it…

I think isn’t big on so many levels…from the amount of hours that went into the photoshop retouching…to the actually weight of each of her tits…to her hip to waist ratio…that when out of shaping bathing suits and while standing next to young hot babes you realize just how big she is…

Not to mention, the fact that she heads a billion dollar brand…is as confusing to me…as the fact that I am trying to masturbate to these pics…I mean maybe because they don’t even look like Jessica Simpson anymore…

All I know is skinny is better.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2014

31

Jan

Courtney Stodden is a Fucking Dream of the Day

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I am friends with a bunch of different pornstars, and the main difference between them and Courtney Stodden is that they are more subtle, reserved and classy…despite being pornstars who get paid to fuck every day of their fucking lives…

So I am confused that someone with fake tits like this, parading in a thong like this, crying for attention with staged paparazzi pics like this, is not getting paid to fuck…

I don’t know how she makes money, I don’t know what her storyline is, I assume she was a stripper who managed to take a low level celebrity and leverage him into some scandal that made her exist…

But I do know I think she’s pretty fucking perfect. The world needs more Courtney Stodden…and I think I need to start aggressively trying to make her my wife..because whatever I am feeling here must be true love…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Courtney Stodden

2014

31

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio’s is Topless in Love Magazine of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio posted this topless picture on twitter promoting an upcoming issue of LOVE MAGAZINE …that she claims is going to redefine the beach babe shoot…which is pretty much saying a lot considering she’s a beach model who has been beach modelling and making more than other beach models for the beach modelling…but then again English isn’t her language and maybe she’s just trying to say “Anything is better than those Victoria’s Secret bastards who won’t let me escape their contract”…you know a coded cry for help…that we are all ignoring because we are blinded by her naked back and strategic toplessness…

Either way….a hostage to a billion dollar brand or not…she’s good.

TO SEE SOME BEHIND THE SCENES PICS OF HER MODELING BIKINIS FOR VICTORIA’S SECRET CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2014

31

Jan

Kylie Minogue Spinning Properly of the Day

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Like a gay man working on getting fit enough for his HIV ridden South American import he’s trying to get a work visa for…I have done a spinning class once…and I did survive…

My motivation…was to be locked in a room with sweaty babes in tight clothes…

What I experienced was not so many sweaty babes in tight clothes…but more fat chicks trying to be sweaty babes pig in the city….and at least one of them kept farting…

What I didn’t experience was proper heels and tight dress apparel like Kylie Minogue brings…

Kylie Minogue may barely exist since the cancer, but shit…she still brings it.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

31

Jan

Rihanna and Shakira’s Lesbianism of the Day

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Rihanna and Shakira did some kind of Collab video…and it looks pretty lesbian because Rihanna is pretty lesbian…because being pretty lesbian gets people to notice…and getting people to notice makes Rihanna feel like she matters…especially now that she’s got hundreds of millions of dollars…all eyes on her is all that she cares about..and like a college girl who never went to college knows…cuddle up to a girl…and people fucking notice…Rihanna may not have it all figured out…but she’s doing something right…and I guess that’s what happens when you grow up a child hooker…

What it comes down to is that this video came out yesterday night and already has 4,000,000 views…that’s some heavy shit…powerful bitches….coming together to make you all come and to make them, and their team of execs a lot of money…leveraging each other’s fan base…

Posted in:Rihanna|Shakira

2014

31

Jan

Irina Shayk’s Yoga Ass in Pants for Instagram of the Day

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Irina Shayk is a Sports Illustrated bikini model who probably should have been a mail order bride, or cam girl, but who crawled through the Siberian mountains, by way of some pro athlete’s dick…so that the would could celebrate her as a classy lady…even though you know she’s got a real dark side, that’s how she escaped, using her looks and that kind of hustle, makes her better than all the other Soviets who have been abducted and work cam rooms in the basement…

She may even be a cover girl this year…of a magazine that may not really matter but that is hugely popular and hugely american…better than marrying some fat dude in the midwest for a passport…and she may be the one who got away, but she’s also one of the hotter models out there, and I like looking at her ass in Yoga Pants…

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2014

31

Jan

Kelly Brook’s Big Tits in Underwear for Instagram of the Day

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Kelly Brook has tits…but so do pretty much every girl except maybe cancer survivors and a few flat chested girls who are just nipples…but unlike every girl…she’s packaged them into a money making business…and while pushing 40…she’s managed to be in movies, sure shitty fucking movies, she’s managed to start her own businesses, and she’s managed to get paid and live a celebrity life…all because of a willingness to show off massive tits…making her pretty much a hero, or leader to young girls everywhere…fuck all these athletes and Olympians….and fuck all these CEOS and educated girls…but more importantly fuck these big titty models who blind us with their tits then steal our fucking money without even realizing it…fuck them..if not with your penis, then with your mind, because when as a man you should instinctively want to fuck everyone…no evidence….especially these fertile ones…

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2014

31

Jan

Hanalei Reponty is a Babe of the Day

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Hanalei Reponty is a “free surfer” and bikini model…who has a long, lean and hot body that is capitalizing on the whole surfer thing, since being a surfer is a big deal right now, and the whole girls don’t have to surf competitively, they just have to be able to get up on a board for people like me to say “look at the surfer”…since the majority of the world have never seen the ocean and if they have it was probably on some resort where they were drunk in the pool for most of the time…

Now surfer or not, she’s apparently from Tahiti, but I like to think she’s from my dreams…it’s like I want to get a Ukele and sing her love songs like that fat hawaiian who died and has that big youtube video…only more Mexican…and equally unhealthy…

This ass is just too good to ignore.

Posted in:Hanalei Reponty

2014

31

Jan

Ireland Baldwin’s Orgasm Face on Instagram of the Day

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Ireland Baldwin is a bit of attention seeker, but I guess who isn’t these days…

You can’t even blame daddy issues, or not having a dad, or being molested by your dad for the way girls act. It’s like what used to only happen with girls who were broken on the inside, you know the slutty behavior, the putting out, the seeking male attention, you know all that good stuff that made for an insecure, even when hot, easy to manipulate subject..has gone out the window…and now all these egos, and broken girls, have merged into one massive selfie…

So here is Ireland Baldwin making a name for herself, making O-Faces for instagram…who knows really why, but we’ll go with she’s just a great girl trying to have fun, and using all the tools available…because I like that angle…and I’ve learned to never talk to girls about their daddy issues, or why they crave attention, it becomes an annoying conversation that takes away from their tits.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin