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2013

29

May

Anastasia Ashley Hot Surfer Ass in a Bikini Covered in Sand of the Day

Anastasia Ashley is a hot surfer chick who I’d love to watch surfing on my wave….of belly fat while she’s trying to find my penis…something I’ve seen countless girls do…but none were ever pro surfers…

Unfortunately she doesn’t answer me when I write comments on her facebook page…or to her twitter…she gets on all the hot Athlete lists, probably has some lame surfer boyfriend she thinks is cool cuz he teaches her moves, you know like girl skaters do with skaters….I heard the Avril Lavigne song, I know how these action sports people work…

Luckily, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows how to hack emails, websites and whatever the fuck else, that will get him arrested, but that gets me hot pics of hot asses on private beaches surfing…She’s fit, I want to chip a tooth on her booty muscle while running away from sharks….cuz no one wants to lose an arm to those fuckers like JESUS LOVING WHICH DID HER A LOT OF GOOD BETHANY HAMILTON …it makes giving double handjobs impossible….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|stepEXCLUSIVE

2013

29

May

Kate Upton for Victoria’s Secret Scandal of the Day

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Victoria’s Secret is jumping on the Kate Upton wave of fat, even though they are supposed to be pure and never use plus sized models, no matter how much hype they get, no matter how much the fans want them to, no matter how fat their actual client base is…

I mean they’ve worked years to feature fit as fuck half naked girls, a positive image for girls everywhere to look up to, and the idea of sneaking in this pic from 2011, of Kate Upton pre-obesity, is just despressing…I don’t want sloppy piles of shit in boring as fuck catalogs…I want babes…

I get it though, it’s good for marketing, get people talking, publicity stunt…and really it’s tits in a bra, I got no complaints, even if I hate all Kate Upton represents, since I’m not the restaurant owner of a restaurant she frequents, cuz if I was, she’d be my favorite fatty around.

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

29

May

Paris Hilton Brought Her Herpes to the Beach of the Day

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Paris Hilton an era where I was more relevant, more passionate about hating all these vapid cunts, a beacon of hope and by hope I mean a bitch I would slander and shit on using the blog on the regular, I mean some of my best posts probably involved her…and seeing her, older, sloppier, with her very own K-Fed, I am reminded of a better time, with less cellulite, less monogamy, just as much herpes scabs…herpes scabs I’m not even compelled to make fun of…because I’m old, tired and so is Paris….we’ve been down this road already….so many times….it’s done.

I guess this is growing up…

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Posted in:Paris Hilton

2013

29

May

Nina Agdal Bikini Polaroids of the Day

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Someone pulled up Nina Agdal’s polaroids from her agency and she looks way less Downs Syndrome than usual. Fascinating. I know.

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2013

29

May

Sabrina Djuric in her Bathing Suit for Grazia Netherlands of the Day

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Here’s another model I’ve never heard of named Sabrina Djuric modeling bathing suits with her long lean and amazing bathing suit body….that reminds me that so many girls I’ve seen in bathing suits, or even naked ar just so fucking flawed, it’s like looking at this I know “This is What It Is Supposed to Look Like”, I’ve been doing it all wrong all these years….

Posted in:Sabrina Djuric

2013

29

May

Kelly Brook for AXE of the Day

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Kelly Brook is in a new AXE Campaign, because really what else is she capable of doing with herself, it’s not like she’s gonna win an Oscar or some shit, and she’s only got a small window to make money…with her amazing fucking titties…that are really the only reason any of us know who she is…

All I know is that I am sure she wishes she lived in a world with no gravity….to prevent her from sagging into a 40 year old no one cares about.

I didn’t bother watching the clip, because watching commercials for the cleavage is on the lower end of my priority or interest level list, but I am sure you’ll watch it, make it viral and make that rancid spray that I can’t believe any dude would wear, more money than they already make….

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

29

May

Maty Matusevich Models Some Lida Lingerie of the Day

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Girls with guy names, are amazing, because they don’t look like girls who would have guy names…..you know like ROGER the bull dyke down the hall, is a miss use of a girl with a guy’s name, while this Maty Matusevich, model from wherever the fuck she’s from , is lovely…

What’s also lovely is the shoot, because it’s all trailer park fantasy, see I’ve been in trailer parks, and they are far more fat, toothless, even the illegitimate teen pregnant ones…

Lookin’ good in lingerie girl with a guy’s name.

Posted in:Maty Matusevich

2013

29

May

Monica Bellucci for S Moda of the Day

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I was drinking with an Italian guy a couple of weeks ago and he pulled up a picture of Monica Bellucci eating a plate of pasta and drinking a glass of wine and he told me that to him, as an Italian man, that was probably the single hottest imagery he could see, so he jerked off to it a couple times, saved it to his phone and yelled at his wife about how she needs to step up her Italian game, you know shave that mustache, lay off the carbs for a month, and practice her Italian, to turn her from a fat Jersey Shore pile of trash into this….personally, I’m more into throat fucking, but we’re all allowed to have our fantasies…

Here’s the non-erotic video…

Posted in:Monica Bellucci

2013

29

May

Some Kid Checking Out Tits on Croatian TV of the Day

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When I was this kid’s age, I was living in a foster home with a nymphomanic woman who would walk around naked, or half naked, trying to take advantage of my budding teenage hormones to make her feel desirable, until one day she put me in her mouth, which paved the way for me doing a hell of a lot more than staring at tits while older ladies wore cleavage shirts, only they never got that shit on TV, and it was before the internet, so it never went viral, which was probably a good thing, because she would have probably been charged for abuse, even though there was definitely no complaints on my 13 year old pervert end….getting molested by a woman at a young age was the best thing that ever happened to me, it wasn’t some repressed memory shit, it was some good old fashion training….

Posted in:Videos

2013

29

May

Rihanna Tops Complex Magazine’s Top 100 Hottest Women Right Now of the Day

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I generally hate these HOT 100 lists, mainly because they are usually associated with shitty magazines and the results, or the listing, is all random shit that means nothing. It’s like they put 100 names in a hat and pick at radom to see where to slot them…

But I do love Complex, and I’m not just saying that because they featured me in the magazine in 2007, back when I peaked.

I am saying that because I believe they put thought into their list, and I understand why Rihanna came out on top, because let’s face it, it is an Urban magazine and who the fuck else could have really won….

Rihanna is top of her game, lookin’ fit as hell, being a total exhibitionist slut, and she’s in my top 10 too..

So good job Complex, for renewing my hope in magazine top 100 lists….

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Posted in:Rihanna