DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

10

Apr

46 Non-Victoria’s Secret Pics of Miranda Kerr’s Victoria’s Secret Contract Not Being Renewed of the Day

Wide faced Miranda Kerr , who you have all grown to love and think is hotter than she probably is. Mom of Orlando Blooms fetus and who was seemingly the star of Victoria’s Secret before Candice Swanepoel stole her billion dollar bra wearing glory, has not been renewed as a contract girl for Victoria’s Secret.

Pretty major stuff.

The reseon her 3 year 1 million dollar contract wasn’t renewed “she has a difficult reputation”. Whatever that means, I’m thinking Swanepoel told them to axe that Aussie trash and the kangaroo A list husband she rode in on.

Apparently, she’s not a big seller for the brand either. Whatever that means, I’m thinking Swanepoel told them to axe that Aussie trash and the kangaro A list husband she rode in on.

Who fucking cares. She’s overpaid. She’s old. Her vagina has been battered by childbirth, and ultimately, she’s not even that hot, we’ve just been brainwashed to think she is.

In 2008, pre baby, I wrote this MIRANDA KERR ISN’T THAT HOT POST , I just lost my soul over the 5 years of being beat by the internet.

To celebrate the breakup….here are the top 10 Miranda Kerr for Victoria’s Secret to remember what was…..-

Oh Right – all Victoria’s Secret pics fucking suck….she’s better off without them…. FLASHING ASS and showing nipple, the way a model is supposed to….fuck Victoria’s Secret and they oppressive evil billion dollar corporation ways…

Here are 46 random clothed and unclothed non-Victoria’s Secret pics of her….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2013

10

Apr

LOLZ of the Day

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Todays LOLZ of the day is courtesy of Google Streetview.

It features an Australian couple fucking on a BMW, while dude drinks a beer, on the side of the highway, because Australians are a lot of fun, and shit got captured as she waved.

I’ve been saying that between google, with most searches being for “Porn, Pussy, Sex, Vagina”, youtube a google owned property with fetish videos like “Pantyhose toe sucking, bikini squats, etc”, and now google streetview, the shit is the biggest publicly traded porn company around. Not to mention, huge corporations advertise next to their underbelly of SMUT.

What it comes down to is that while google represents the hypocrisy of big business, Australia remains fucking awesome.

Posted in:LOLZ

2013

10

Apr

Abbey Clancy Strategic Nudity for Hunger Magazine of the Day

2 Comments »

Abbey Clancy is from the UK, she models lingerie, she’s married to a footballer and has a kid with him, which pretty much means she’s got her retirement already lined up, and that she doesn’t have to work, like other real Housewives, but in efforts to feel like she’s achieving something, while getting as much male attention as she can get, she decides to model naked. Not for the money people, she’s already rich and doesn’t need it. She models naked because she loves being asked to be naked on camera, it makes her feel desirable, while her husband is on the road gang banging groupies.

Don’t get me wrong, I love all women who model naked, under any and all circumstances, it just makes me laugh when they do it, even when they don’t have to, because they have money and everything they want. I’m talking the villas, the mansions, the luxury cars and her only doing it cuz for the love of being asked to be naked, to feel like her mom body still has it, and that emptiness deep inside them that needs filling, ideally with cock, is better than seeing her awesome body.

Posted in:Abbey Clancy

2013

10

Apr

Christina Milian Modeling Bikinis of the Day

1 Comment »

I find it kinda funny, especially after seeing CHRISTINA MILIAN’S FAT SLOPPY CELLULITE RIDDEN MOM ASS IN A BIKINI , that any brand, even the lowest level brand that is probably owned by one of her friends, calling on her celebrity as a favor, because it will help launch his collection of bikinis, would ask her to be one of their models, but then I am reminded there is photoshop and really when touched up, this Christina Milian has a bit of sex appeal, it’s not like Roseanne or Precious’ best friend asking them for a favor to model half naked to help get the name out there, although part of me wishes it was, you see precious in a bikini or lingerie, as scary as it might be, would be fucking comedy gold.

Here’s Milian, bikini-ing.

Posted in:Christina Milian

2013

10

Apr

AnnaSophia Robb in Seventeen of the Day

2 Comments »

AnnaSophia Robb must be making some moves. Her name has been popping up a lot lately. I remember trying to jerk off to her bikini body in Soul Surfer, where she played that surf bitch who lost her arm in some Jesus loving pile of shit, but now it turns out that she’s in something even worse, the prequel to Sex and the City, called the Carrie Diaries, because Hollywood likes milking ideas, like I like milking pregnant women, with my mouth while deep in their asses. Seriously, I can only imagine it being a pile of shit, banking on the success of the other show, but can only hope there are a lot of nude pics, cuz this AnnaSophia and her hybrid jacked up name, is cute as fuck, and I’m ready to watch her simulate sex.

TO SEE HER IN A MORE ARTISTIC SHOOT FROM ANOTHER MAGAZINE
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:AnnaSophia Robb

2013

10

Apr

Helen Flanagan in Some Lingerie of the Day

2 Comments »

Helen Flanagan has a stupid fucking tattoo. I am guessing she’s a Megan Fox fan, or just some pile of trash who landed work on a Soap Opera, but who is instead modeling half naked, cuz her tits are built for that, but that is still a totally backwards career move, that can only be explained by not being explained, cuz all that matters is staring at this fucking body, who cares about why she’s got that tattoo, or why she’s in underwear, just take in her busty glory and has all her teeth, something that makes her top quality in the UK, cuz usually you get one or the other when it comes to their fuckable bitches.

Posted in:Helen Flanagan

2013

10

Apr

Candice Swanepoel for MUSE last Year of the Day

1 Comment »

Last summer, CANDICE SWANEPOEL DID A NUDE PHOTOSHOOT FOR MUSE MAGAZINE and it was pretty fantastic.

5 Days Ago, the guy who shot the video of the shoot put up the video to his VIMEO Page.

Just Now, I posted it, because I think Candice Swanepoel, at least in pictures, is a delicate and beautiful flower I want to care for and water with my dick, because in person, she’s probably 6 foot 6, with a clit the size of my dick, but in front of the camera, this bitch has good features.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

10

Apr

Diane Kruger is Hot and Pantsless for S Moda of the Day

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Diane Kruger is pushing 40, is married to some dude from Dawson’s Creek, and continues to look hot pantsless in fashion photoshoots, reminding us that maybe some of that WWII human testing and experimenting on creating a superior aryan race trickled through the cracks of their system, leading to ancestors of those human experiments still walking the streets….because this shit does not look 40.

The other nice thing about Diane Kruger, is that being from Germany, she probably likes being shit on.

Too bad her child star from a shitty show is probably too much of a bitch to bring it.

Posted in:Diane Kruger

2013

10

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Talks Rehab with Letterman of the Day

1 Comment »

David Letterman asked Lindsay Lohan about rehab, because I guess he’s at the stage in his career where he doesn’t have to walk on eggshells and avoid questions the publicists outline that he can’t ask when agreeing to do his show, because he’s David Letterman, and it’s his fucking show. Not that Lohan has a publicist, I mean she’s pretty much at the bottom of the barrel, but I still think she’s fantastic, just not quite as fantastic as Letterman taking her to an uncomfortable place, and not pulling back, until he saw he wasn’t getting anymore out of her. I would have been a little happier if this ended in a cocaine fueled fit of rage, with chairs thrown, hair pulled, security called, but everyone kept their composure, even if you can see the war going on in Lohan’s head as she deals.

She’s the best.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

10

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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MORE GIRLS HERE

Bar hopping from dive to dive is a lot less glamorous than club hopping like some kind of socialite scenester with a limo who needs to make an appearance at all the hot spots, but I did meet some lowlifes, a white chick dressed like a muslim, a Rasta who was trying to teach me how to dancehall dance and a 60 year old country singer who I think I may have made out with, and a girl who thought we were twins separated at birth because we had the same birthday who invited me over to shave her beard, and 4 dudes in 1 stall doing K…..

Here are some morning links….

Rihanna’s Awesome Pussy Grab
GO

Michelle Williams is Disgusting – NO Wonder Homosexual Heath Ledger Came In her Asshole That Turned Out to Be Her Cunt
GO

I Want to Fuck Diane Kruger
GO

Cat Waves At Its Reflection
GO

A Cop Sleeping on the Job
GO

Import Model of the Day
GO

Dog Tries to Catch Baseball on TV
GO

Some Car Landing a Jump Badly
GO

Spring Break BikinI Dance Fail
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS