DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

08

Apr

Rumer Willis Goes To Events in Bikini Tops of the Day

Rumer Willis is pretty disgusting to look at, and I just like to check in with what she is up to every now and then, because she is a reminder, that although she lives the perfect rich girl life, thanks to her mom and dad’s celebrity, she’s still vile, that to her mom and dad’s clashing of incompatible genetics, and a uterus probably ravaged by HPV and hard drug use, cuz before the millions Demi put into Plastic surgery that happened after she fucked her way to the top from a nude model to the star of GI JANE, she probably looked a lot like this alien, only with a little less Bruce Willis midget in it.

She showed up to some event like this, cuz clothes forces people to notice her face.

Bikini tops, allow us to be distracted.

I appreciate the effort she put in, and the sick thing in all this is that I’d totally eat this thing out for hours, slapping my dick in her face, exploring our sexuality and boundaries, because as disgusting as she is on paper, she kinda turns me on.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Rumer Willis

2013

08

Apr

Teen Mom Farrah’s Porn Announcement of the Day

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I have never seen the Teen Mom show, but I think it is safe to say that the girls on it are trashy as fuck, that’s usually how teen mom’s operate, I mean classy teen girls who get pregnant get Plan B or abortions so that they can live on with their irresponsible lives.

So hearing the news she had a sex tape this morning was hardly shocking, and when that news turned to it being an actual porno, I was equally not shocked, because porn is all about trashy girls, the kind of girl who would be a teen mom, all filled with daddy issues and damaged as fuck.

Not to mention, She’s tried the music thing and that didn’t work out for her

So the story is that she’s getting fucked by James Deen, in what is obviously her cry for attention, cuz she’s not a teen mom being exploited anymore and she needs the fame to continue cuz that shit is more addictive than heroin.

Porn is mainstream, it won’t damage her career, partially cuz she doesn’t have a career, but I am sure it will make her baby proud, that is provided he doesn’t die in a bath or from neglect or when mommy decides to murder them off like that bitch in Flordia, as these trailer park families and their party slut mom’s often do.

She’s garbage but her porn will probably be awesome. I’m going to work on getting exclusive footage of it, so stay tuned to the wholesome, well rounded mom, who will teach her kid the morals and values she needs to know….

It’s being put out by VIVID

Posted in:Sex Tape|Teen Mom Farrah

2013

08

Apr

RIP Motherfucker the Annette Funicello Edition of the Day

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Today, we lost a legend, and not I don’t mean Margaret Thatcher, I am talking about Aneette Funicello, the masturbation to a generation of kids who didn’t have access to porn, because porn just didn’t exist, and masturbating was reserved for doing secretly while your dead relatives watched to National Geographic or to babes in their bikinis in 1960s surf movies like Annette Funicello.

She was also Mousketeer, chosen by Walt Disney, which means she probably had sex with him, although at 13, she was probably too old for him…and now at 70..like Roger Ebert, she’s too dead for me.

But that doesn’t take away all the loads she made happen in her prime, and that is something we celebrate.

RIP motherfucker.

Posted in:RIP Motherfucker

2013

08

Apr

Shauna Sand’s Instagram Bikini Pics of the Day

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I forgot that Shauna Sand existed!

I am a fan of hers, and I have posted about her lots over the years …so I am shocked I’ve neglected her.

It’s been at least a couple of years since we saw her corpse vagina in action with one of her boy toys, you know to make herself a little money to subsidize her lucite shoe addiction that her alimony from Lorenzo Lamas couldn’t afford, in the form of a flashy, black, vagina SEX TAPE featuring one of her boy toys she hires to escort her around. I just revisited the clips – they are amazing.

Probably one of the worst, 10 years too late, attempt at another go at this fame game, even though her first go involved being naked in Playboy, prior to destroying her tits, face and body with too much fake tan, tit, and face ….but sex tape is a sex tape…even if it involves someone who looks like she has been chewed up by the porn industry and shat out by it many years before actually taking part in it…

But at least we’ve seen her fuck, and now we see her in a bikini on her instagram, still worth fucking, even if that vagina died long ago, that’s never stopped me before. The dryness and fleshy lips would lead to much needed friction to feel anything when inside it. Fact.

TO GET HER SEX TAPE
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Shauna Sand

2013

08

Apr

Ray J’s I Hit it First Song About Kim K of the Day

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I like to think that Ray J’s talent as an rapper is probably the reason Kim Kardashian has moved onto Kanye Sperm. We get it, he hit it first, when she was a nobody with a fat ass and a dream, but now that she’s made a lot of money, she has options, and can leave this dude in the shelves of her DVD collection, because sure his cock helped make her, but she doesn’t need that shit anymore, but it’s nice to see that he still needs her, making horrible songs about the glory days, and as much as I hate Kim Kardashian, it’s safe to say that Ray J is even worse than her. He’s milking her like the cow that she looks like, all swollen utters and barnyard smells.

Worst song ever, but I guess we got to give him some credit for trying. These lyrics are the fucking worst….

TO SEE THEIR SEX TAPE IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Ray J

2013

08

Apr

Ireland Baldwin’s Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

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Ireland Baldwin is a some 6 food 2, 17 year old, who you may remember from being on the receiving end of Alec Baldwin’s evil rant, where he called her a little pig, when she was 10, during his divorce with her mother, Kim Bassinger.

The problem with 17 year olds is that you really just know what is gonna happen when they turn 20. They may look decent now, but shit, as soon as the metabolism dies a slow and tragic death, they fill the fuck out.

The problem with girls who are 6 foot 2, is that they are 6 foot 2.

The good news is that you’re a pervert, she’s in a bikini, she’s illegal for you to lust after cuz you are in America, she’s legal for me to lust after cuz I am in Canada, making my perception a little more objective, and not blinded by her being some forbidden fruit, and the conclusion is, she takes a decent pic, she’ll be a model cuz of her connections, but she’d probably be better at joining the Volleyball team or some shit….

You’ll masturbate to her, and Alec Baldwin will love you for it, and by love yo, I mean pick fights with you, from his Twitter account, which is also his charity, that in and of itself is always kinda funny.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

2013

08

Apr

LOLZ of the Day

1 Comment »

Vladimir Putin was in Germany celebrating World War 2 or some shit, when a topless protester ran at him with her titties, and dude looked ready for it, hands out before security got in the way of a little hand-save titty grab, head tilted, lips pursed, dude was makin’ faces out of a porno movie, and LOLZ ensued making it the LOLZ of the Day

Posted in:LOLZ

2013

08

Apr

Nicole Richie Bikinis With Jessica Alba of the Day

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I guess these hollywood cunts with kids like to stick together on luxury weekend getaways. This is how the other half live people. Just garbage and in Nicole Richie’s case, literally garbage, that her own mother wanted nothing to do with, other than to dumpster, before Lionel Richie pulled her out of the backstage, semen and heroin needle trash, to keep her as his own, like when someone finds a stray dog and guilt forces them to step up.

I’m talking a troll of a girl, who was destined to be either dead at 5 after her mom drowned her accidentally while high, or a stripper/street whore in a questionable venue, but instead she’s rockin’ out in St Barts with Jessica Alba…flying private…owning clothing lines….staring on TV shows about fashion…and the whole thing is fucking nuts.

The good news is, all the money she makes and success she has, she’ll always know even her own momma didn’t want her, and sometimes, that eats away at a soul…..Yay! She deserves torment from her inner demons.

Here she is in a bikini, with Alba, showing off fake tits, and socialite moms trying to stay hot despite being moms bodies…..and it’s not all that great…but you’ll probably like it.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Nicole Richie

2013

08

Apr

Jessica Alba’s Looking Ok in a Bikini for a Mom of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t like celebrating women who spat in the face of their fans and her sex appeal to reproduce for selfish reasons, like locking her husband in. I am more into celebrating women who squirt in the face of their fans for money, but that’s got nothing to do with this post.

I don’t like saying shit like “she’s still got it” cuz she’d be hotter if she never had the kids.

So this whole older, sloppier, her skin hangs off the back of her thighs, her tits sag a little more than when she was in her 20s and not a fucking mom of two, doesn’t get a “PASS” from me, like it does from all the other sites, those pervert virgins would cum if they say a 300 pound bitch in a bikini.

I don’t celebrate – look how much she bounced back and how she’s almost as good as she was – shit.

I say, bitch, at least you’re not fat, and at least you’re in a bikini, cuz that shit is better to look at than clothes, but you are a fraction of what you were, reminding us all that breeding kills women.

Here are a few of the pics I’m not allowed to post.

To see a shit ton of ALba bikini pics from this St Barts Trip go HERE and HERE

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2013

08

Apr

Amanda Seyfried is Dramatic for Untitled Project of the Day

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Amanda Seyfried is so dramatic when she tries.

Here she is doing the whole fashion model thing for some magazine I’ve never heard of called the Untitled Project.

Shit is on some high production kick, which is a far cry from most of the pictures we’ve seen of her shot by the paparazzi that usually involve her in what would be clothes she wears on her period, unshowered and disgusting, because I guess she’s got a ton of money, no one to impress, and probably doesn’t really give a fuck, knowing that people will pay her to doll her up, so why do it for free. Which makes her pretty fucking boring to keep track of, you know not the kind of girl you’d want to stalk, or go through her garbage for masturbation purposes.

By this rejected Oscar nominee, who was outperformed by Anne Hathaway, still does some interesting shit career-wise, like balancing disney and mainstream movies, with movies she is naked in eating out Julianne Moore. Diversity that gives her street cred, that makes her matter, and that celebrates her great tits and hot body, which is really what it is all about.

This shoot may not be great, but I like me some Seyfried every once in a while, and it’s my site, so deal.

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried