DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

26

Dec

AJ and Aly Michalka in Some Onesie Long Underwear of the Day

In this day and age – we are so obsessed with girls being naked, or half naked, you know stripping down and showing bikini or panties, or bare asshole spread so I can imagine tonguing it as the other one licks my ass as she jerks me off….

But you know what, sometimes, it is nice to switch things up a bit, and dress a bitch up, so that something’s left to the imagination, while being nice and cute, in what is some pretty form fitting onsie pajamas or long underwear, that scream “this is my kind of Christmas, I fucking love sisters modeling their presents for the internet”….

So that’s why I think this is a dawn of a new age….a new beginning….of porn and that is “Girls in Onsies”….you see cuz if this gets me excited….despite being weird…it is the future….a new trend in porno….at least that’s what I am trying to do with it right now…

Thanks sisters…

Posted in:Alyson Michalka|Amanda Michalka

2012

26

Dec

Carrie Keagan Bikini Vacation Twitpics of the Day

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Carrie Keagan is an irrelevant TV Host in her 30s – who has been in some TV shows and some movies…but who is ultimately in low budget cable shit…and now she’s posting bikini pics on twitter…for her fans…or to get noticed…because ultimately, she should be posting vagina pics in this last haul of her sex appeal on her ride into her 40s…if ever she wants to be household like the people she interviews and talks about in her “career”…and here are her bikini pics to encourage her to keep up the good work…but to step up her efforts…cuz she can do this if she just tries…

Posted in:Carrie Keagan

2012

26

Dec

Jennifer Aniston BikinI Crotch Shot of the Day

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Every now and then I think it is important to stare at Jennifer Aniston’s vagina in a bikini bottom, to try to understand why no one wants to knock her up, when even disgusting girls get knocked up, there must be something very wrong with her uterus, or maybe she just does it greek, cuz anal is the best form of birth control, and anal, if done right, can make a bitch cum more than a numb vagina can….and anal is part of her heritage…but I like to think that the real reason she’s an old maid…isn’t her cunt, but the fact that she is a cunt….discuss.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston

2012

26

Dec

Maria Menounos Pervs Out on Santa of the Day

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I DON’T WANT CHRISTMAS TO EVER END!!!!

I know that Christmas is so yesterday, you know a thing of the past, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it Christmas all year round, you know because this year, more than any other year, I’ve MASTURBATED TO MORE SANTA PORN …because Santa is in a power position, even if he’s a creep who breaks into your house, has a weird ranking system of who the naughty girls and boys are, who he DOMS out on by not giving them gifts, and make all kids sit on his lap, but with that strategy, he leaves a warm place in the hearts of all, cuz he’s marketed himself well….and kids, if they don’t die of cancer or eventually become legal age….or more importantly, have single, or slutty horny moms…..where they like to show their gratitude for the good memories, like Maria Menounos is, wearing this little tight skirt….so next year, I won’t be humiliated when forced to work as a Mall Santa….cuz I am pretty much a homeless drunk…something they look for in the gig.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Maria Menounos

2012

26

Dec

Hana Nitsche Nude Modeling of the Day

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Hana Nitsche is some Russell Simmons hooker…and people are talking about her like she matters…because people are obviously bored as fuck and have nothing going on in their own lives….where they distract themselves with nonsense….low level nonsense because who Russell Simmons puts his penis inside…because sure he’s a billionaire and active on twitter…but ultimately, he doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of the world and thus his harem of hookers, or the fact that they all spend Christmas together…shouldn’t be headlines on gossip blogs….or matter either…cuz hookers do what they are told if you are paying

His latest hooker in her 20s, the one who replaced so many other hookers in her 20s, is out on the beach in St Barts with him and his ex hooker, the hooker smart enough to get knocked up by him, and the real story in that is that she was a nude model…and here are the pics…

Here are some pics of her he put on twitter – proving she’s not a hooker….

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Hana Nitsche|NSFW

2012

26

Dec

Jennette McCurdy’s Got a Tight Dress on of the Day

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Jennette McCurdy is some wholesome actress from iCarly who is 20 and reinventing herself the way I like girls to reinvent herself….and I am not talking about her country music bullshit career…I am talking about posting some serious short tight dress that I guess she wore to church, like a good Christian this Christmas, you know to excite the congregation, before gracing them with her gift from the lord…her ability of song.. you know…wholesome Booty shots…with a booty hanging out of her dress..the gateway to a vagina that she’s willing to use to get ahead while tricking the rest of the world to thinks she’s a good Jesus loving girl their kids should follow and sign up to….just trying spread the word of the lord…and by the lord I mean the good lord let’s see more of this country singing booty…..

Posted in:Jennette McCurdy

2012

26

Dec

Victoria’s Secret Photographer Gets Models to Wish a Happy Holidays of the Day

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His name is Ben Watts. he’s a Victoria’s Secret photographer, which pretty much means, he shoots the Victoria’s Secret models all year round, in what some of you may find the most exciting job in the world, because models all fuck the photographer, you know for better angles and all that shit that makes them look the best that they can, it turns girls on when they meet a guy who makes them look hot…all photographers get hot girls…

I feel like Victoria’s Secret creative directors give the photographers about half an inch of creative leeway – you know cuz all their pics look the shitty fucking same…and this motherfucker is the one doing it…they probably pay shit…since everyone wants to be doing this….

On the flip side, the models aren’t all corporate, they trust him as a friend, he’s not all corporate, and his memory cards probably have so much pussy and nip slip, making Ben Watts a fucking hero amongst men, and not just cuz he’s getting flown around with these bitches, but cuz he’s wrist deep in them….and here they are doing a happy holidays message for him in which he sends to his friends and says “my job is better than yours”….now someone hack his hard drive and send me the goods…cuz I’m too lazy to try to be friends with him.

Posted in:Victoria's Secret

2012

26

Dec

Miley Cyrus Christmas Pajama Erotic of the Day

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It’s not Christmas unless Miley Cyrus is in some Leopard print onsie pajamas, and silly Santa hat, rockin’ a Santa Beard…..you know being all silly for Christmas….that for some reason I find erotic..cuz I am a fucking pervert and can only think about undoing the ass flaps and giving her the greatest gift a man can give a woman…dick in ass as to not mess up their sacred Vagina…as far as I’m concerned…Miley Cyrus is a babe….

Miley Cyrus decided to post this video singing Jolene a while ago….because she is a singer yo!

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2012

26

Dec

Elsa Hosk Random Titty Photoshoot of the Day

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I should be dating Elsa Hosk – you know because I want to fuck her…but I’m not…because we’ve never met…but I am sure if I was a janitor in her high class apartment..or if I was a bus boy at one of her high end restaurants…or if I worked in the shipping department of one of her clients…or the mail room in the building her agency was in….nothing would keep us apart and she’d be all about me…cuz that’s how soul mates work people.

If you don’t know who she is, she walked the Victoria’s Secret fashion show the last two years….

If you’re wondering…I feel like I am soul mates with anything with a vagina…

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|NSFW

2012

26

Dec

Lara Stone’s Big Old Titties for Vogue Russia of the Day

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Russia is fun. They take big busty babes and make them available for purchase….and if those big busty babes aren’t Russian and don’t need to be sold to escape communism to get to America…they take them titties and put them on blast…disguised as high fashion….works for me…cuz I like big titties…especially on models who are supposed to be eating disorder ridden…even when they are Lara Stone who tried to sue me…

That said, shouldn’t you be out getting deeper in debt to buy shit you don’t need – like electronics? What the fuck you up here for…freak.

Posted in:Lara Stone