DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

21

Sep

Kate Beckinsale Bikini of the Day

I don’t know how many generations back Kate Beckinsale’s “Elite” goes. I know her parents were famous, but I don’t know if that was just by hard work and NOT selling their soul, or if they are from some original bloodline of reptiles that link back to Vlad the Impaler, the original Dracula, but it would make for a fun twist that would explain why she still looks this hot at 49.

I get that fitness, diet, being rich, being obsessive, napping a lot from not having anywhere to be, with strategic surgeries or injections can buy a bitch some extra years, but that’s not enough of a reason for me to still consider her this hot at 49.

There has to be some reason besides taking loads from young guys cuz she’s unable to have kids, she’s 49.

So I’m sticking with – she’s a vampire, nothing else makes sense.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale

2022

21

Sep

TikTok Fisting Video of the Day

No Comments »

As we all know, TikTok was designed to destroy the West, and it’s worked!

Chinese Spyware that’s far less annoying than the whiners of Twitter who all have disabiliities listed in their bios as they wait for the next person to misspeak to yell at about how non-inclusive you are, because the TikTok crowd is a mix of degenerates, sluts, all chasing the views, doing dumb things like cooking Chicken in Nyquil or whatever they are trying to prevent clout chasers are doing because it may kill them, when we should just let it kill them, you know if you’re too dumb to know, then maybe you’re too dumb to live!

Anyway, no idea what this face fisting video is about, but there’s a girl getting her mouth fisted, all dressed up so elegantly, like the classy that she is!

It’s been a weird series events and process watching all these normies turn into fetish content producers, there was a time when mouths weren’t getting fisted at parties, at least not by the hot chick and I’m not sure that’s a life any of you want to live!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:TIKTHOT|TIKTOK

2022

21

Sep

Pussy Wedgie Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

As much as I hate the Kardashians for ruining society as a whole with their narcissism, self importance, famous for nothing, ultimate manipulative pitch men, who will go to any extreme, even selling their own kids sex tape, in order to close the deal, sure it gets them paid and they don’t care about the consequences of the spell they have people under to make them into these materialistic fucks who are ALTERING their looks to look like Kardashians, EVEN when they are naturally hot chicks, it’s crazy.

But yeah, hot girls making themselves ugly faces, to follow the Ugly Kardashian trends, fucking crazy right, but I will not hate on the trend of publicly jacking pants, panties, whatever they can into cunt, to let people know that Khloe’s not a dude, because when you leave the house, STRANGER pussy is EVERYWHERE that you would otherwise not see, because you know, FASHION, so with that, here’s some pussy wedgies.

(more…)

Posted in:Pussy Wedgie

2022

21

Sep

Dove Cameron Bra of the Day

No Comments »

Dove Cameron creeps me out, more now that I saw she wore a bra top that may not be this bra top, but another bra top to hang with Alan Cummings, who may be the devil himself, because he looks that way and he had to get a career as lucrative as his by doing some kind of goat sacrifices at the weird elite sex parties, it’s the only thing that makes sense!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by DOVE (@dovecameron)

IT would make sense since Dove Cameron is this weird industry creation that brings her depression and weirdness to her social media, low frequency shit, from boyfriends and father’s being sacrificed for her fame, but you probably wouldn’t want being the downer energy your kids looked up to, but that the system wants your kids looking up to, so they have downer energy too!

There was a time when things were less depressing, but at least she’s in a bra, I guess

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Dove Cameron

2022

21

Sep

Stella Hudgens Bikini in Bed of the Day

No Comments »

Stella Hudgens posted that she’s totally over bikini season and is ready for Halloween season, because like her Disney created sister, she’s a satanic looking to celebrate death and the occult, like the little witches that they are, casting their spells on you with their half naked bodies, which is probably why the church of satan, which is also the church of narcissism is so popular now, these people need that moral code that organized religion offers, but they need it to encourage them to do whatever it is they choose to do, for their egos or money, from selling nudes, selling sex, or sacrificing goats in her sister’s pool!

Outside of being way too reactive and analytical of a mindless bimbo excited for all her slut content, while posting the very bikini pics she pretends to be annoyed of, she could just be into Halloween for the slutty costumes that she’ll use to sell subscribers into her coven of really low quality SMUT that I bet people still pay for, all because celebrity and anything arm’s length from celebrity, like a celebrity sister who will always be in the shadow of that celebrity, so she has to sell nudes to carve her own niche, even though her subscribers are likely just her sister’s eager fans, cuz she can’t escape it, will never escape it, and I like that level of access, validation while STILL feeling inadequate that these celeb siblings always have!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Stella Hudgens

2022

21

Sep

Workout Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

I know that more than half of the population is fat as fuck, clinically morbidly obese, but that doesn’t meant that there aren’t girls who still think looking hot and fit is a good thing that probably gets them richer boyfriends, not that people actually date in this hook-up era of conditioning young girls into prostitution by feeding them shit like Kardashians……

It is possible that this is just fat chicks run through fit body Augmented Reality Filters, you can never be too sure, but a fit girl, whether you’re scared that she’s got higher “T” than you or not, can fuck you with more vigor, so fear muscles because it reminds you of the time you gave your bro on the team a massage and got hard, but as someone who bases my straightness on whether there’s a vagina, I’ll go for the one that can do all the work and move a piano if needed, you know, make a business out of it!

(more…)

Posted in:Workout

2022

21

Sep

Hailee Steinfeld Slutty Selfies of the Day

No Comments »

I guess Hailee Steinfeld posted a slutty selfie 4 days ago, I’ll assume that her core fanbase has already jerked off to it, you know their girl all glammed up making instagram faces, how exciting, in this era of everyone being a fake version of themselves because our only human interaction is with pictures on our phones and screens, so we don’t even know what is human or Avatar anymore, pretty depressing, but not as depressing as the news that Zuckerberg has apparently knocked up his wife a third time in the Metaverse to pollute us with AI babies of the future!

I don’t know if Hailee Steinfeld, who is one of the last young, built from the industry and not from social media clickbait is using one of those augmented reality filters, but I do know her shirt is tied up slutty and face filters don’t throw me off from looking at the starlet tit.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Hailee Steinfeld

2022

21

Sep

Weight Watcher Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

There’s an obesity crisis in America, that puts a strain on both eyes, park benches, clothing, basically the system as a whole, because fat is unhealthy and disgusting, which makes you wonder why is a system that has our best interest in mind allowing fat to be so trendy!

They spent two years pushing their version of health on us, which was in the form of an experimental shot, instead of pushing actual “Put down the fucking donut, starve yourself, start walking bitch”, oh, it’s because they don’t care about health, they want you sick and the best way to keep you sick is to keep you fat, exhausted, lazy, in debt!

Fat is Slavery and they try to present it as normal, or hot, to the point where fat girls are selling nudes like non-fat girls, despite being fat, like we live in an alternate universe that no one should want to live in, luckily there is all kinds of sugary foods out there to make us feed our sads, which I guess how we got in this mess in the first place.

Anyway, here’s some normalized, empowered bodies that think they are beautiful and that you may find beautiful, because you and everyone you know is fat too, it’s all you know!

(more…)

Posted in:Fatty

2022

21

Sep

Charlotte Lawrence Nipples of the Day

No Comments »

Charlotte Lawrence is the Daughter of Kate from Drew Carey and some producer who did Scrubs and now that Ted Lasso show, which means that she probably has to hang out with that Jason Sudiekis who has probably already jerked off to these pics of his boss’ girl or that motherfucker Zach Braff, who I am surprised is not trying to date her, unless he is already dating her, maybe knowing her when she was in the womb, or sneaking into her rich kid bedroom and raiding her panties like some kind of fed back in the 00s during an X-Mas party gyrates his prostate from within harder than Florence Pugh’s midget poo fingers ever could.

I’d almost feel sorry for her having to deal with some of the biggest losers around being in her inner circle, but these Hollywood types all hype each other up, and think each other are great, it’s how they maintain the “Us Versus Them” segregation while pushing inclusivity, diversity, other woke agenda shit, that doesn’t apply to them because they live on CELEBRITY ISLAND!

She is a “model”, or socialite, who fucking knows in this world of everyone taking pics of themselves or meeting up with people to take pics of them because they feel hot and like self promotion, or being jerked off to, just not by the creepers like us, who they pretend don’t exist when they upload their pics to be seen!

She’s showing her tits, that’s the story!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:charlotte lawrence

2022

21

Sep

Weed Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

The Rastafarians say that Weed is in the Book of Revelation in the Bible, so according to the book of the Lord, you should be digging into his fruitful green flower, ingesting it, to reach that higher state of consciousness, especially in these potential end times, right!

We can assume that the DOGMA of the Church that speaks against it, or thinks calls it the Devil’s Lettuce are likely just the Satanists packaged as the Christians to keep you OFF course by making you think you are doing the good Christian work but never allowing you to really reach your true enlightened and awake being!

Or they just aren’t reading the Good Book proper, but I prefer to think that the Church is the one thing that gets in the way from people and their actual connection to God, but who fucking cares what I think, the fact is weed grows like a weed, gets you high, cures or helps deal with so many ailments, and as far as I’m concerned, if it’s in nature, it’s for our consumption, and if lawmakers want to control that, you have to remember that you’ve allowed them to get in the way of your PURE sovereign existence outside of the SHACKLES the SYSTEM has us under!

“In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.”

Or you can just look at girls who look like they may smoke too much weed, smoking their weed as a prop, it’s a little less schizo than my take on the whole thing!

This post should be brought to you by a WEED company that PAYS me A LOT of money, any sales people out there? HIT ME UP!

(more…)

Posted in:Weed