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Kendall Jenner’s Asshole Behind Thong of the Day
Kendall Jenner’s Asshole Behind Thong of the Day
Dakota Johnson Not Fanning on a Slutty Hike of the Day
Dakota Johnson Not Fanning on a Slutty Hike of the Day
Leni Klum or her Friend has Her Ass Out in Tight Shorts of the Day
Leni Klum or her Friend has Her Ass Out in Tight Shorts of the Day
Christina Hendricks Still has her Tits of the Day
Christina Hendricks Still has her Tits of the Day
Anna Paulina Luna in her Bathing Suit of the Day
Anna Paulina Luna in her Bathing Suit of the Day

2010

12

Nov

Shakira’s Ass in a Tight Dress of the Day

5 Comments »

People like Shakira. Her videos get a lot of views. It’s cuz she milks her South American roots and dances erotic and shakes her immigrant ass like she’s not pushing 40…cuz guys base how a girl fucks on the way she moves….so guys can watch her in motion and think how good that would feel on their dicks…and girls want to learn her moves so when they are in clubs guys will look at them and think the same thing about them…cuz no girl wants to be a bad dancer cuz everyone knows that theory on fucking like you dance…that I am not sure if it is true or not cuz I have a bad memory, but kinda remember banging a professionally trained dancer and thinking how great it was, but then again, she was into licking my ass and taking facials after I fucked her ass, while she went off about how she was a dirty little girl who daddy needs to spank and about how bad she needed to be sucking on a pussy while cumming on my dick….so I’m not quite sure it had anything to do with dance, but all to do with willingness to be dirty…

Here’s Shakira.

Bonus – Beth Ditto was there to make the Event extra sexy in what looks like it could be a see through, too small for her, yet big enough to cover your car in the winter, dress….if you think really fat pig lesbians who wear revealing clothes is sexy…cuz you have an overreating fetish…or because you know fat pussy is the only pussy you can get….

Posted in:Shakira

2010

12

Nov

Irina Shayk Showin’ Off at Some Event of the Day

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Irina Shayk, the soccer star model girlfriend who is with the soccer star despite his homosexuality, cuz he pretty much put her on the map, offers her the good life and gets her noticed and invited to events that are good for her career…and that her Russian born ass probably wouldn’t have ever had the chance to go to, cuz she’d be too busy working a kiosk in the communist mall or stripping, unless of course she was exported to a very rich husband who ordered her by catalog, but it’s never the real rich guys who buy the Russians, but instead the virgin weirdos who realize they’ll never get laid and who save up all their money for years to make it happen, only to piss off the Russian when she arrives and realizes his one room apartment is shittier than war torn Russia before the fall of communism, so that she either kills him, or runs away, cuz Russian bitches are crazy…..and even when they’re showing leg and tit at event, I’m still scared of them.

Here are her pics….

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2010

12

Nov

Cher is a Fucking Monster of the Day

3 Comments »

I know…Halloween was almost two weeks ago. There’s no reason to be posting pictures of a fucking monster, we’ve all had our share of vampires, ghosts, zombies, Edward Scissor Hands or whatever horror movies character Cher’s gothic lookin’ mutant face is channeling….

I just can’t help but post these pictures of Cher dressing her face’s age, I mean assuming she got her facelift 16 years ago, cuz that’s the general age group of people I see wearing leggings like this…they’re never on 65 year olds…and the whole thing confuses me, but not as much as how much it confused Cher’s daughter who grew a dick to live life as a man, probably because Cher fucked up raising her…but most likely cuz Cher had a drug fueled womb all these years ago….

Either way, it looks like Cher’s still got her vagina in these tight pants, unlike her daughter turned son, but I’d sure as hell be scared to see what happens when you tear the perforated edge of these pants to get at what’s underneath holding everything in place…but I unfortunately know that despite the fear, disgust, horror of it all, I’d probably try to lunch off whatever loose meaty remnants were there…cuz sometimes your perversion is far greater than your self-control…not to mention, it’d be a pretty funny story to put in my Memoir “Jesus Martinez: From Tears to Laughter”, that I’ve been writing the last 8 years and I’m still on the first page of…not that you care….

Posted in:Cher

2010

12

Nov

Eva Mendes Plays with a Penis Shaped Muppet of the DAy

1 Comment »

I don’t know what this is all about, but I think it’s safe to say that it’s an performance art piece that Eva Mendes came up with to represent the launch of her career, from poor hispanic girl who was destined to strip for 10 dollars a song to rich hispanic girl who ended up stripping in movies for lots and lots of money….you know one of those off broadway shows she wrote to really express herself as an artist….tackling to tough issues in life…like developing relationships with the right penis that lead the a place where the world can jerk off to her titties….I mean what else could this possibly be….

Bonus – here she is dressed like the rainforest where she is from, or maybe it’s a flag from her country of origin, or maybe she’s in blinds her tacky latina grandmother had in her house that she wears for good luck,or to remind us how much better she looks nude…. doin’ some import car modeling,..unfortunately with Will Farrell cuz I hate everything about that guy….His face just makes me want to run him over and over and over until I am sure I have rid the world of the cancer that is him.


Real Bonus – Here she is Slutting Out in a Movie
GO

Posted in:Eva Mendes

2010

12

Nov

Rosario Dawson Shows Off Her Ankles of the Day

1 Comment »

In muslim countries, this is considered porn. This level of exposure will get every man in the town into a frenzy, lookin for the nearest goat to fuck.

In America…or really anywhere else in the world, it’s not porn. It’s hardly even erotic. It’s almost standard. Meaning this bitch needs to step up her game, cuz unless she’s trying to target the muslim audience, since they are going to take over the world and she’s aiming for a good position, she better take a few layers off cuz this is dull as shit…which is probably a bad ANALogy cuz sometimes shit can be exciting…especially when it’s on some ghetto prostitutes face after you’re done with her….a ghetto prostitute Rosario Dawson probably knows cuz she grew up with her in the same immigrant abandoned building their families squatted in….

She needs to remember where she’s from, who she is and what got her where she is…She’s got to look at the gutter drug addicted trash she grew up with and realize that she’s lost herself and that there’s a middle ground where everyone would be happy…and that’s her starring in some throat-fucking sex tape cuz that’s what America finds erotic these days and Rosario Dawson’s job is to keep things on a sex-based level.

Here are the pics that may make you fuck your neighbor’s dog if you’re Muslim and not allowed to jerk off or fuck. Enjoy.

Posted in:Rosario Dawson

2010

12

Nov

Angela Simmons Still On The Beach in a Bathing Suit of the Day

1 Comment »

Nothing says hot like a woman in a bathing suit too small for her…you know the kind that makes her look like her circulation has been cut off to her pussy, as her love handle hangs the fuck over the shit like it’s been spending the last few months eating exclusively at Popeye’s chicken like it was Beyonce.

This Angela Simmons bitch is everywhere. She lives a real good life on the beach and I wonder if it is money from her allowance Daddy gives her cuz he’s rich or if it’s hush money Uncle Russell gives her for touching her inappropriately.

Never trust a man with an Adult Lisp.

But do stare at a girl who probably acts whiter than the KKK thanks to suburbs and private schools…and I now you white dudes scared of black pussy but fascinated by black pussy like that…..

Posted in:Angela Simmons

2010

12

Nov

Emma Watson in a See Through Dress at the Harry Potter Premiere of the Day

7 Comments »

I would have posted these pictures if she was wearing a fucking snow suit. Not because I like Emma Watson or think she’s hot, but because you do. See this is my scam to get people to the site cuz I know that there are millions of Harry Potter fans, who have been obsessed with the shit since the first movie, and who live and breathe the shit in anticipation for the sequels, making a lot of people fucking rich. I also know that those same perverts pretty much watched Emma Watson grow up, thinking “she’s gonna be hot when she’s older” to justify the fact that they were jerking off to a 12 year old and they still haven’t stopped cuz that loyalty justifies the dirty things they did to themselves while watching a little kid in action….the beauty of the Sci-fi and Fantasy club is the loyalty those motherfuckers have to the things their socially awkward, nerdy asses find cool.

So here she is for the nerds…

Posted in:Emma Watson

2010

12

Nov

Glee’s Hot GQ Photoshoot Behind the Scenes of the Day

7 Comments »

I shit on Terry Richardson for selling out because he is smart enough to make all the money he can and the only way to do that is going mainstream….but dude clearly still has talent. He took those Glee girls and made them look like something I could jerk off to, instead of the manly, awkward and pretty much disgusting as fuck pussy they actually are….

Here’s a video GQ put out today, milking the fuck out of the attention they got from those pictures, cuz when you’re a print magazine you gotta do whatever it takes…..I guess….and anything Glee is a winning fucking formula.

UPDATE – THIS VIDEO IS A SCAM – GQ IS JUST TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO LINK THEM SO THEY TURNED OFF THE EMBED- TO MAKE THEM LOTS OF MONEY – FUCK THEM – I’M NOT GOING TO –

Posted in:Glee

2010

12

Nov

Mariacarla Boscono’s Model Tits for Fashion of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are some model titties for fashion cuz I like tits and you secretly love fashion photoshoots cuz you are potentially a queer. The real reason I post all these topless fashion pictures is to observe the hypocrisy in the world when advertisers reject me and force me to live in poverty because I am a porn site, while whatever magazine this shoot is in got paid millions…

See, I like to intellectualize being a pervert, it makes me feel like what I do has real purpose beyond you coming to see tits….unfortunately, I’m not an intellectual, however I am allergic to almonds and found out that there are almonds in the gin I normally drink, making me wonder if I am actually allergic to almonds, or if the almonds in the gin is what leaves me convulsing in the ditch at the end of the night….It’s some scientist shit I will never figure out…but I will keep drinking in efforts to get to the bottom of this…

That has nothing to do with this model named Mariacarla Boscono who with a name like that’s gotta be a WOP. Here are her WOP tits in some fashionable gayness.

Posted in:Mariacarla Boscono

2010

12

Nov

Miranda Kerr’s Yoga Stance of the Day

4 Comments »

This is the position Miranda Kerr was in when Orlando Bloom dropped his load in her not knowing she was skipping her pill on the regular cuz she wanted what all crazy women do when they are hormonal and lonely want…and that’s a family to continue the here genetic legacy with a man she feels meets her requirements….bitches are like scientists when it comes to getting knocked up…except maybe my poor black neighbor with a dozen kids of different cree, color and nationality cuz of different daddies who seems like she takes more of stray cat approach….and then there’s the Mexican down the hall with 5 kids who takes the the farm animal approach… I guess the strategizing is for white chicks cuz white chicks are boring and like to play it safe…

Either way, imagine this picture of her in her getting knocked up pose lead to and if you’re not like me and scared of pregnancy cuz it’s disgusting, you’ll dig it…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr