DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

09

Aug

Samara Weaving Nude of the Day

Samara Weaving is naked in the snow, so either this is old as shit, or she’s gone to the Southern Hemisphere to celebrate their winter by stripping down and showing the world what I guess is considered a SMOL butt, but not a bad butt, it’s a solid looking butt…

Samara Weaving is a hot blonde actress from Australia where they breed these Hollywood women. Her dad is some writer director who has only done one movie, which will assume was trade off for his daughter, you know a dowry, the modern goat…..a “give us your daughter and we will give you funding for your dumb ass project about a music competition you fucking loser fuck, but at least your sperm made a hot SMOL butt, and WHY do this idiot generation call SMALL SMOL, it’s fucking stupid, just write small, you cutesy illiterates with your invented words annoy me”.

So yeah, Samara Weaving apparently nude, with no distinguishing features, no tattoos, no anything to identify the body with means it really could be anyone….but we’ll assume it Samara because that’s what I’ve been told by the internet and I believe EVERYTHING I am fed on the Internet.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Samara Weaving

2022

09

Aug

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

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Tiny Tits can be as incredible as big sloppy comical sized clown tits, because they are tits.

I have never subscribed to tiny tits being an inferior tits as I love all tits, especially in my face, but I am very much about natural everything, not polluting ourselves with chemicals that they love to pollute us with, like stupid rubber tits that can only cause inflammation and sickness in the dumb bitches who get them thinking their lives will be better, which in a lot of cases it probably ends up being better, because society has tricked people into thinking big tits lead to opportunity, so by suggestion alone, big tit leads to more opportunity, making girls with hot tiny tits sacrifice those tits in hopes of a better tomorrow, when totally not needing to sacrifice anything, because tiny tits are hot too…….and dudes are weak and will fold for any girl, even those who don’t have tits, just look at all the praise Olivia Newton John has got since dying of Breast Cancer she’s had for 30 years…….titless and still able to win hearts.

So this is a celebration that TINY TIT LIVES MATTER and more tiny tit girls need TINY TIT PRIDE, because ALL tit is TIT, even the gross ones.

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Posted in:TINY TITS

2022

09

Aug

Irina Shayk is Hot as Shit in a Bikini of the Day

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Irina Shayk is on some luxurious rich person vacation, because the Russian Nationalist has been living an amazingly rich as shit life since she was first released from whatever work camp they built her in by giving her to Ronaldo and putting her on the fucking map as the best beard around…..she went viral as the hottest wag and quickly became a bikini model…all because she was hot, or maybe it was because she’s actually a spy being used to gather intel, but that seems unlikely since she was knocked up by Brad Cooper with a kid who we’ll assume isn’t on this vacation, because she’s out there whoring in heels and a bikini like some kind of sex worker, you could argue she is, because all models are, especially those from some cold water flat in some communist village.

Like all Russians, she is probably smart, strategic, cold and focused, clever and manipulative, but even in her 30s, post pregnancy she’s good, but I guess that’s part of the Russian hustle as all Russian moms manage to bounce back…because all the fancy designer shit they want depends on it.

The point is, I still think Irina Shayk is the hottest model around and that’s the fucking point.

To see pics of Irina Shayk in this Yellow Bikini in papaprazzi style pics to CLICK HERE

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2022

09

Aug

Mary J Blige Bikini of the Day

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I know what you’re thinking, or what you think about every night when you crawl in bed alone, sad but willing to try to jerk yourself into some kind of dopamine state or trance, that will help you sleep, I know this because this is the internet and I capture all your data, knowing you better than you know yourself, you know TikTok gets called Chinese Spyware, because it tracks all your photos, locations, searches, conversations, and gets stored on the cloud in the event the powers that be need to reference it, well, DrunkenStepfather was there first and we’ve concluded that you’re a fucking pervert, now if only I knew how to update the site from it’s 2004 form, we’d be in business..

But yeah, I know the first thought that comes to mind in your romantic masturbation sessions with yourself is “I need more Mary J. Blige Bikini to Get Off”…even though the rest of us don’t even know who Mary J. Blige is because the last time we heard her name or music was in the 90s……

So the answers to all your prayers have been answered, some Mary J Blige Bikini….

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Mary J Blige

2022

09

Aug

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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Things to wear to the beach is a random catch all of girls in swimwear that has been uploaded around the internet, some sluttier than others, some older and cheesier than others, all worth looking at because if you’re like me, and you are, since I am the only on who uses this website, you know that swimwear makes the internet go on……it’s not the woke outrage by the pussies with no friends, the body shaming, or the body positivity, it’s not the find something wrong with everything you see on the internet, whether it is ageism, sexism, homophobic, racist, transphobic, ableism, just a lot of miserable fucks out there…….but yeah, the bikini pics from vacation made social media a good masturbation aid for you to get off to people you knew in your social networks, and people you didn’t know who weren’t getting naked at them time, pushed the boundaries taking bathing suits as far as they could go, so now the people in micro bikinis are basically everyone, not just strippers, trash and old ladies who swing, and for that reason alone, we celebrate SWIMWEAR and all the SWIM content that keeps us going in a world where we don’t swim nearly enough, but we don’t have to since we can get what we want from the internet!

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Posted in:swimsuit

2022

09

Aug

Eva Longoria Dresses like She’s 14 of the Day

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Must be feeling fit, showing off like

45 year old bored bitch who has been watching too much instagram and doing her best impression of it to try to matter, exist or still be seen as hot amongst the younger generation of “Fuck the going to hollywood to be famous, I’ll just sell sex tapes and make more than these celebrity bitches”..

I mean she is an actor and social media is their enemy, or new hustle, but maybe this is her version of method acting, you know one you didn’t get a full taste of when she was a glorified soap star, which is a glorified porn star, back on the Housewives show that made her matter.

She’s obviously more about her body than her face, since she’s basically erased her face in some of these strategic marketing selfies, typical old, near or post menopausal bitches holding onto the dream.

I see women like this everywhere, they have kids they dress like, compete with and try to out-slut.

I guess narcissism never expires, doesn’t have an age limit, can go on forever, even when the pussy of said narcissist fully rots……..I mean you can practically smell her old musky musty ass twat through the computer and it sure don’t smell as delicious as the chorizo tacos I just ate for lunch….and no, I didn’t make a mexican taco joke about a Mexican’s taco intentionally, but I guess I just did…….thank god it wasn’t funny, so no on will notice….but everyone will notice Longoria’s midlife crisis, or three quarter life crisis if she’s vaccinated, but they won’t say “why is this old bitch trying so hard, like an old guy trying to play pick up basketball with the kids, only to die of a heart attack, but in outfits”..they will say “she’s fierce”……..weird world.

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2022

09

Aug

Julianne Hough has a Nip Slip of the Day

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Julianne Hough published some jerk off material for her brother, now that he’s married, she can only sex him publicly and subtly, you know cuz they’re weird, but maybe we’re the weird ones for not accepting incest as a viable sex option, since it makes retards, no matter how hard the porn alogorithms try to indoctrinate you into sexualizing everything around you, even your sister…..because it takes a specific kind of narcissist to fuck family, you know genetic attraction does’t happen to those who hate themselves…..but I guess with a sister one room over, it is pretty convenient….ins’t it…

Well, Hough still dances despite being a giant disappointment, despite how much money she’s made, despite how famous and rich she is…a disappointment because she was able to go legit, acting and singing and dancing on TV and the movies, on some Fred Astaire and Ginger kick, even though professional dance training should remain a hobby, or something you bust out at parties, weddings, bar mitzvahs, or be reserved for choosing a life of stripping, which I think girls are NOW choosing in this era, since sex work is real work and it is no longer the French Canadian goal and dream, where the rest of women looked down on them, it’s a top tier viable way to cash in and have fun…but Hough, who would have been a great stripper chose legitimacy…….

Julianne Hough, the mormon gone wild, should have gone into sex work, and not in a behind closed doors for Ryan Seacrest way, and not in a fucking her brother for their handlers way, but in a legitimate way that you can pay to touch her tits…….but money, fame, success will never take her there.

Luckily, she’ll still pull out some titty, but she’ll pretend it wasn’t intentional, even though you have to watch the shit you publish, and most of these ladies do 10-15 versions of their content before uploading, so the titty flash, nip slip was intentional.

Shout out to the homie who emailed this into me, I haven’t been emailed in about 10 years, so it felt like I was still on the map.

I am not….and either is Julianne Hough’s erased face, but that’s another story in social media filters lying to us…

Posted in:Julianne Hough

2022

09

Aug

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

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My favorite thing about tight pants, is jerking myself off through the pocket of my oversized basketball shorts like a retard at swim class that I wear because they fit and not because I play basically because I get to see tight pants basically every time I leave the house.

Sure, not all tight pants are created equally, today’s tight pants were on some 65 year old fat lady who works the grill at the diner, but I figure seeing fat pussy flopping on either side of a inseam, like the pussy is a floundering fish trying to get a gasp of air, because the lady who squeezed into these tight pants not realizing she should size up, is basically doing her best to choke out her cunt, all for an unsuspecting pervert like me to see the whole thing go down and if I’m lucky, she won’t be wearing underwear to create that extra layer of protection, not letting anything come between me and this fat, nasty, greasy old, hamburger and diner breakfast potato smelling vagina, besides the tight pants themselves that may shred if she bends the wrong way, but that’d make things more interesting than trying to map out each individual pubic hair because th tight pants are so tight.

What I am getting at is even when the tight pants is bad, the tight pants are good, because women are sluts who like you looking at their bodies, their cunts, their asses as they are being held togther by a stretchy fabric, all packaged as “Comfort” or “I work at home, so this is business casual”…….and it’s hot even when it is not….so here are tight pants.

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Posted in:Tight Pants

2022

09

Aug

Girl Loving the Dick and Other Videos of the Day

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Side Tit

Overall Titties

Bikini Jiggle

Two Girls in Bikini

Weird Chest Tattoo

Strong Chick

Flexible

Impressive

Busty in a Red Bikini

Posted in:TIKTHOT|Videos

2022

09

Aug

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I saw some article that in parts of Canada it is illegal to buy food directly from the farmer, they need to sell their food through appropriate channels that I guess are disguised as public health, so that farmers don’t do anything illegal, like sell people raw unpasturized milk that has been proven to be far healthier than the pasturized counterpart, but they can’t have the people know that, instead they must have the people think all animal products are bed, go VEGAN, because they know it will make them weaker, sicker, fatter and with bigger estrogen tits.

So yeah, can’t buy food at a foodstand on a farm, you know directly from the earth, freshly grown, found at the SOURCE, but you can walk into some inter-city homeless shelter and get free, or government subsidized heroin.

There will be a point in time when you realize everything they do is to make you sick, to make no sense, to be confusing, distracting, and for you to NEVER reach your best human experience, because they need you to rot, like the slave class you are, and the best way to do that is slowly poison you.

I was brushing my tooth earlier today and thought, there’s fluoride in this shit, which is toxic, but thy give it to kids, but even worse, there is SUGAR in this shit, which is what I’ve bene told rots my teeth, so for generations, they’ve been saying not to eat candy, it rots your teeth, but if you brush your teeth with candy mixed with a toxic chemical, it’ll keep you from getting cavaties

I guess what I am saying is edginess isn’t getting parasites from strangers with random sex you film and sell to perverts on only fans.

Real edginess is growing your own food and not trusting ANYTHING they tell you…….

Be edgy, or live in your ZOMBIE comatose, unfulfilled, empty, sad, lonely, internet inspired existence.

Life was better before the internet……..so click on some links to remind you how the internet ruined an entire species……

Gabrielle Union’s Hot Mom in a Bikini Content
LICK HERE!!!!

Serena Williams is Retiring!
LICK HERE!!!!

Malu Trevejo is Kissing a Girl
LICK HERE!!!!

Joan Smalls Vacations!
LICK HERE!!!!

Ezra Miller is a Fucking Nutter
LICK HERE!!!!

Horned Owl Loves Owner
LICK HERE!!!!

BUSHMAN Prank
LICK HERE!!!!

Massive Floods in Korea Video
LICK HERE!!!!

10 Amazon Basics Items
LICK HERE!!!!

Where the WHALE’s AT…..MAKE ME RICH OFF THE BACK OF THESE CAM GIRLS
LICK HERE!!!!

Posted in:stepLINKS