I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

05

Mar

The Bullshit Bachelor Wedding of the Day

I don’t watch TV but I do know that I don’t trust anything that happens on it, especially when the producers tell me its a reality show, because I know nothing in entertainment is reality, it’s all writen and contrived with contracts and all that bullshit so that the outcome is known before they fucking start shooting. The whole thing is just a lie to feed retarded Americans who will watch anything to distract them from their miserable lives after working their miserable jobs.

So when I see contestants from a reality show get married in front of America, because it’s only fitting since they fell in love in front of America and it would be wrong to not get married in front of the people who have been rooting for them the enitre 10 week run, I actually see dollar signs from advertisers eating this shit up, I see bullshit from contracts each contestant had to sign and see fake fuckin’ everything that is all for the sake of getting a little attention, hopefully using as a stepping stone to bigger careers cuz I guess having cameras follow you around gets addictive….

So the last week I’ve been getting press releases about Bachelor scandals surrounding his final choice from the gang of whores with no shame who had no problem competing for his love cuz he he had to choose on of them, like any normal real life situation at the stripclub, I knew it was just bullshit to get viewers to this televised wedding which being televised should have tipped you fuckers off that it was bullshit to…

What it comes down to is that nothing is sacred, even if getting married is a horrible fucking thing regardless of being sacred…and that everything is marketable and capable of making money no matter how boring, useless or bullshit it is when you live in a country of morons who get emotionally attached to people on their screen, while being totally void of emotion to the people in their lives….pretty fucked up society we’re in….

But I do like jerking off to girls in wedding dresses, cuz they are at their most challenging day to convince them to cheat, cuz they are focused on their man, making it almost impossible fetish to live out….and challenges exicte me, but laziness prevents me from doing anyting about it…

On a sidenote, I wonder if the Bride got to choose the Boom Mic at her wedding, or if she got to choose which paparazzi agency was allowed in to take pics or if it was the wedding planner who snuck that one in…idiots….and I guess the real idiot in all this is me for writing this rant on something so insignificant and unsexy…but I like to think I did it for the single ladies, like Beyonce, since besides married women whose marriages weren’t what they expected but instead turned to a boring hell, they must be the only ones watching this shit….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bachelor|Bullshit

2010

05

Mar

Kylie Minogue is a Survivor of the Day

The good thing about Kylie Minogue is not that she survived breast cancer, it is that she didn’t get Vagina cancer, because a woman is still a woman if she has her sex organs intact, whether she’s had to have her breasts removed or not. See a lot of these breast cancer survivors get depressed, at least according the support group I tried to join because I figured it’s be a good place to meet a future wife. The act like they lost their femininity, their womanhood, but really, as long as they’ve got a functioning pussy, they’re all the woman I need and I’m sure even if she did have Vagina cancer, we’d figure out a way to make it work so that it doesn’t feel too gay, because Kylie is lookin good in her post-cancer old age….cuz she’s a fucking survivor….a survivor with a vagina…and I love vagina….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|Survivor

2010

05

Mar

Rick Ross’ Baby Mama’s Sex Tape of the Day

No, this isn’t a clip on mating from Animal Planet, you racist…this is just a couple black folk having some good old censored sex…but what makes it more interesting than all the pregnant black chicks at your local Wal Mart carting around 3 previous babies they have with different fathers, is that this bitch is rumored to be Rick Ross, the fat rapper who was a prison guard’s baby momma…not that you’d expect any decent respectable woman to get kncoked up by him…but I guess people still find it interesting to see the kind of trash he accidentally came inside when fucking after one of his shows in action…it’s like now you can visualize just how that fuck got down and how he got it in her despit being 350 pounds and you can see her style and moves and the only unfortunate thing in all this is not the scars it will leave in your memory, but the fact that this is someone’s fucking mother and that her and Rick Ross have brought a life into the world, possibly out of love to build that happy family together, but maybe it’s just a business move on her part, cuz the whore will get a monthly paycheck far better than the one the government already gives her….Don’t get me wrong, I love black girls, I just don’t like trash and whether this girl was Mexican, white or asain, I’d have the same fucking feelings towards her whore ass…but I know how you people are and I know you’re going to go on the attack but I hope you keep in mind that I generally hate everyone…race, nationality, gender or sexuality is really a secondary thought……

Posted in:Baby Mama|Rick Ross

2010

05

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

I made 50 dollars today. It was a fucking joke. I went to every coffee shop in the area, threw a dime into the tip jar and took out a dollar, not one person caught on and it’s not really stealing considering they get paid by the hour anyway, it’s like free fucking money. Seriously, I have tried to steal in the past and I have always got busted, whether it was the Playboy VHS when I was 19 that landed me in the Security office of the local mall, or the pair of boxers I tried to steal cuz I shat myself that landed me in the fucking police station, thinking, wow, cops really have nothing better to do with their time, but all that taught me that I may not be very slick, but I guess I was today and now I’m going to get fucking drunker than usual, cuz my wife only gives me 20 dollars a day to live off of…On a side note, Lohan is writing a tell all book and I am trying to be the ghostwriter. Sure, I don’t really know how to write, but figure writing a chapter describing each sexual partner she’s had is really my life purpose…so if you know Lohan let her know I’m ready…okay…drinking time….

Paper Camera, Paper Chase
GO

a is Disgusting, Spouts Off About Some Thing Or Another
GO

Sex in the Middle of the Road in Germany? Why Not
GO

12 Superheroes That Are Actually Assholes
GO

Jerry Seinfeld’s Hottest Girls
GO

Because a Strong Grip Can Be the Best Friend You’ve Ever Had
GO

Mary Carey and Her Giant Tits
GO

Shauna Sand Looking Whorish, Probably On Her Way to the PTA Meeting to Bone Her Kids Teachers
GO

How To: Make People Angry – VIDEO
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Gaga’s Latest See Thru Costume
GO

Katherine Heigl Was Never Really Hot, But Man Bitch is Looking Beat
GO

Call Her Dr. Claw
GO

Gettin Dirty in the Bathroom – VIDEO
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart of the Day
GO

Model Catrin Claesen Showing Off Some Swimwear
GO

Veronica and Sara Are Worth Taking a Look At
GO

Beyonce is Lookin Hot in the Ads for Her Clothing Line House of Derrier (That means ASS, you uncultured fuck)
GO

Alicia Duvall is Trashy, Maybe Even a Bit Trashier Than I Usually Enjoy
GO

Admittedly, I’m a Sucker for a Feel Good Story Involving Puppies. Go Fuck Yourself – VIDEO
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Lucky, Lucky Lesbians
GO

Christina Hendrick’s Tits Are Just Fucking Insane
GO

Perfect 10? Maybe – Gallery
GO

Dancing With the Sluts
GO

Atheist College Group Exchanges Porn For Bibles
GO

Lindsay Lohan Probably Couldn’t Write Her Name, Let Alone a Book
GO

Pamela is Self Fisting
GO

Gotta Love a Man in a chicken Suit – VIDEO
GO

Nicolette Sheridan is Starting to Look Like the Geriatric She Is
GO

Almost Reese Witherspoon Vagina
GO

Some Joanna Krupa, Just Because
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Show Off With Your Car – VIDEO
GO

Stripfilm of the Day
GO

Natalie Blair is Nude
GO

Jenny McClean is Nude in the Woods
GO

Follow Me to the Path of Enlightenment
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Bonus – Insane Shipping Container Turned into a Helicopter
GO

Also…………

I Got Paid To Write an Article For the First Time in My Life


READ IT

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

04

Mar

I love the Recession of the Day

I love the recession, not only does it make a lot of people as broke as me, who were never as broke as me before, struggling cuz they aren’t used to it, like digging for cans in the public garbage but more importantly turning everyday women into sex working whores. I was reading something about some New York executive who got laid off from one of the banks and became a stripper and it’s happening all across America and it’s turning our generation into a whole new “Sexual” revolution, but instead of free love, shit costs money cuz every pussy seems to be a whore. I think the desperation was just what we needed to let people’s true colors shine…..

Posted in:Prostitution|Recession|Sex Trade

2010

04

Mar

Some Boring Pictures of Miranda Kerr of the Day

When I see a Victoria’ Secret model, I like her to be half naked. As far as I’m concerned she doesn’t wear anything but lingerie and bikinis even if she does and when I do see boring shit like this being pulled by one of them, I get angry because this is just not what they are meant to be doing…it’s against the whole “Selling Their Soul to the Devil and by Devil I mean Victoria’s Secret because many other girls could be in their place, cuz let’s face it you’re not that great” policy…but I have a feeling some of you can still get off to this bullshit….and that’s why I am posting it…you know cuz I’m homo like that and get off to helping “straight” guys cum….and you’re the “straight guy” turning another guy on by doing what you’re doing to yourself…making you pretty fucking gay too….not that I’m actually gay, but for a second I felt like I could be, because why else would i bother posting celebrity smut and shit for dudes to jerk off to all day….it just doesn’t make sense…it’s like I’m bribing you for some sick purpose…that’s the only possible explanation…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Boring|Miranda Kerr

2010

04

Mar

Samantha Fox is Still Alive of the Day

In the 80s, Samantha Fox was a big deal. If you were one of the few guys who didn’t find her the hottest pussy around, you’d get beat up for being a faggot, even though by today’s standards she is just a trashy piece of shit with fat tits, because as a species we have come to terms with the fact that big tits aren’t enough to make a bitch relevant…

Either way, Here’s some of her old pics….

And Here’s her video called Naughty Girls from the 1980s

And Here she is today, with substantially smaller tits, even though her tits were all people cared about, I guess it’s just proof that aging sucks…..especially for her…because we’ve all moved onto new pussy while leaving her with just memories of what was….

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Alive|Samantha Fox|Tits

2010

04

Mar

The End of the Internet is Near of the Day

You know years ago, I posted pictures of this girl I knew fucking a banana in front of her autistic brother on a porn site then I sent the link to all her friends and family because I thought it was funny to humiliate her while teaching her a lesson about nude pictures…I didn’t get arrested for it, we all collectively laughed at the shit, like a virtual micro-community before virtual communities meant you were a virgin who couldn’t get pussy.

I saw the beauty of the internet early on because it had no rules, you could do and say what you wanted with no consequence, you could find anything you needed to find, before all the mainstream idiots jumped on the shit with myspace and advertisers and corporations figured out it was a great place to make money….

Now kids get arrested for the shit….it’s really sad to watch such a good thing crumble before our very eyes by getting controlled and managed by the authorities with rules and regulations and laws that can fuck you up if you cross their bullshit line….I’m like a cowboy not ready to accept the laws they are putting in our prospecting town, or like a man who spent his life in jail, only to be released and kills himself for being unable to adapt…I saw Shawshank Redemption, I know how it is….

Posted in:Internet Destruction

2010

04

Mar

Nikki Sixx Overcompensates with his Hooker of the Day

Nikki Sixx looks like an old little jewish woman who has had too much plastic surgery after spending the day getting her hair and make-up done at the salon for her grandson’s bar mitzvah , so there’s no surprise that he’s trying to over-compensate for his 5 foot 5 stature and very likely homosexuality by hiring some stripper trash to walk around with her trash fake tits and flat ass body in a see through outfit cuz stripper trash has no fucking shame especially when getting paid, and the whole thing is a serious fucking joke…I seriously haven’t seen someone with millions of dollars try this hard in a long fucking time…I mean dude can just give up the act and rot away in a mansion somewhere…but instead he makes public appearances with this shit and I guess I can’t really complain cuz I shouldn’t really care and I don’t…but I just can’t help but find the whole thing seriously fucking pathetic.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fake Tits|Hooker|Nikki Sixx|See Thru|Trash

2010

04

Mar

Cheryl Cole in Some Leather Lookin’ Pants of the Day

Everyone seems to care about this Cheryl Cole bitch and I’m not really sure why. I am also not really going to bother to look it up. I just know she’s some UK popstar trash with prison tattoos who hasn’t quite made it in America, she’s married to a black soccer player who also hasn’t made it in America and I guess whatever scandal is going on will be milked to get as much media attention as she can going into her move to North America…see there is a big world out there but the entertainment industry in the USA is the top of the pile of shit, it pays the most, the fans are idiots who buy into the bullshit because they have nothing better going on and I’m just happy that she’s wearing these leather lookin’ pants like the whore that she is, not because it’s that hot or exciting but because I have nothing better goin’ on…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Cheryl Cole|Leather|Pants