I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

14

Oct

Shakira on Dancing with the Stars of the Day

I hate Shakira. Not only is her command of the english language shitty, but she sings in some weird tribal chant that shoulda been forgotten in Columbia where they appreciate that shit cuz they are all jacked on cocaine.

She did some Bollywood rip off performance that should offend India because it sucked and she shaked her ass because I guess that’s all she’s good for. I am really not diggin’ this at all, but then again why would I, this show is targeted to gay dudes and I guess this was for them, and I’m posting it for you because you haven’t accepted the fact that you’re gay yet. I’, just doin’ my part.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Shakira

2009

14

Oct

Sienna Miller is Still Alive of the Day

Remember when Sienna Miller was all over the fucking place, topless in every movie, the hottest homewrecker in Hollywood….neither do I, but in my defense I have a pretty bad memory, I don’t even remember actual hot girls I’ve met drunk over the years when I bump into them, but usually that’s because I met them drunk, they aren’t as hot as I remember them being, and usually 10 years older, fatter and moms. I just know that there was at least one point in my life where I thought it’d be nice to replace my wife with Sienna Millerr, but then realized that Sienna Miller probably has Aids, and figure that’d be better off getting it from a streetwhore, because they’re less maintenance, less needy and faster to die because of their shitty immune systems…
So, she’s not dead, she did Letterman, and based on Letterman and her past she probably DID Letterman, and I guess who really cares, these pictures suck, kinda like her income the last 3 years…..

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Alive|Sienna Miller

2009

14

Oct

Ashley Greene Lookin’ Hot for Men’s Fitness of the Day


These are some pictures of Ashely Green from Twilight, a movie I will never watch based on books I will never read, so I only know her as some bitch who leaked some nude pics on the internet a few months ago and like a cunt, decided to go after everyone who posted the pictures with Lawyer’s letters threatening to sue us, even though we were doing her a favor and taking part in the marketing scam she planned, in efforts to make her look like she was violated and not like the whore that she is, proving to the world and all the girls who have that old school mentality that posting pictures of themselves naked on the internet will ruin them, when in reality, it does the total fucking opposite…it makes you look like a victim we all want to fuck, so I guess we should thank you for giving a taste of that back with this photoshoot.

Posted in:Ashley Greene|Hot|Men's Fitness

2009

14

Oct

Ashlee Simpson’s Bra on Melrose Place of the Day

Here is the opening scene from Melrose Place a show I will never watch and the most exciting thing isn’t that her name in the credits is hyphenated, but that she’s getting a doctor exam in a nice push-up bra and her tits look pretty nice, maybe because of baby making, or possible genetics, but I guess I shouldn’t be analyzing it, and enjoying it, but it’s hard man, Ashlee Simpson and her bi-sexual relationship annoy me. I shouldn’t be so sensitive, seriously, there are tits and that should make it all okay..

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Dating

2009

14

Oct

Khloe Kardashian Not So Hot Picture of the Day

Khloe Kardashian wore some sheer sided dress so people could see what I guess are her hips, but I’m scared to look to closely because the whole thing is pretty fucking disgusting because she is disgusting. Making this a great Halloween costume cuz it is real scary, so fat chicks, stop shopping for your Halloween costume, you don’t need to be an M&M another year and you don’t have to be Hamburgler again, you can just take this pigs in her little black half sheer dress and everyone will throw-up in Halloween joy.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|See Thru|Ugly

2009

14

Oct

Penelope Cruz Big Nosed Cleavage of the Day

I used to fight with this chick I was fucking about whether she was good looking or not, because she definitely wasn’t but she thought she was because a whole lot of dudes would tell her she was, when they were drunk.

I used to say that nothing on her was attractive, she had a wonky face, a shitty body, uneven tits, a meaty pussy and a flat ass, short legs, long torso, rash on her inner thigh, port wine stain down her back, a cancerous lookin’ lesion, acne scars, greasy hair even after she showered, two different colored eyes, and was missing a tooth, but she wasn’t fat and sometimes I guess that’s good enough, I mean it was good enough for me and all those drunk dudes who would try to get her home with them….

That said, if you were to meet Penelope Cruz’s nose, without the rest of her attached, you’d think shit this is one disgusting nose, and if she wasn’t Penelope Cruz, I’d be the kind of guy who wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but her nose, because it is so far from perfect. It’s like I’d stare at that shit when we eat, when we drink, when we fuck and when we sleep. I’d stare at it when we were at movies, and out tap dancing, it would take over my fucking life, but I guess for the rest of the world, they focus on the good and not that bad and they don’t judge a woman based on her imperfections, they focus on the entire package and personality, pretty much because they take whatever they can get and pretend to be happy with it, where as I take what I can get, and stay miserable with it…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:cleavage|Penelope Cruz

2009

14

Oct

Cheryl Burke and Her Pumpkins of the Day

Yes. That joke is old and tired. Like me. Get it, I’m making reference to her tits because she’s holding actual pumpkins where her tits are. This is next level comedy, motherfuckers should start referring to me as Dane Cook with this caliber of shit. I am ashamed of myself and I’m going to go drink the pain away, because I don’t drink to forget, I drink to remember to drink more. If that makes any fucking sense…..cuz I know it don’t make dollars.

I don’t even know who Cheryl Burke is…..I am bad at this game.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cheryl Burke|Pumpkins

2009

13

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

I just ate a jar of peanut butter because it’s all my wife bought this week grocery shopping and I was hungry. I think I must have developed a peanut allergy the last few months since the last time I ate peanuts because I feel like I am getting choked out or maybe my wife poisoned me. I guess it doesn’t matter, I’m probably just being a whining bitch from sitting on my couch all day and having little else to think about than my impending death and my stepLINKS…..

So here are my steplinks…..you’ll have to wait for my impending death.

Honestly, Seeing Lucy Pinder With Clothes On Would Shock the Hell Out of Me
GO

Sam Ronson’s Family Really Fucking Hates Lohan
GO

This Picture Would Be Hotter if the Mask On Her Face Was York Cum and She Was Eating Your Cock
GO

Jaime Pressly’s Hot Body in a Bikini of the Day
GO

Drunk Birtish Slut Panty Upskirt
GO

The Reublicans Are Striking Back at Will Ferrel or Something
GO

FORGET AUBREY O’DAY AND HOLLY MADISON’S BULLSHIT. ANGELICA BRIDGES AND HER FINE ASS TITS RULE LAS VEGAS!
GO GO

Untitled The Movie…
GO

AHHHHHHH Kylie Minogue!
GO

Get To Know 90210’s New Hottie
GO

In Honor of Marge Simpson, Here’s Some Rejected Playboy Cartoon Cover Girls
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart Causes Car Crach From Sucking Dick…of the Day
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

I’m Love/Hate With Kim Kardashian’s Ass, Today It’s a Love Type Thing
GO

I Forgot That Sophia Bush is Kinf of Sexy
GO

Carrie Underwood Looks Like Barabie But With Smaller Tits
GO

And a Little More Kim K
GO

Andrea Parker Gallery
GO

Cherry is a Russian Redhead
GO

Worker Falls on His Face – Video
GO

Karl Lagerfeld Never Ceases to Amaze Me With His Kuntness and I Love Him
GO

Amateur Fucks a Dildo
GO

Teen Slut Has Sex for a Bacon Cheeseburger
GO

KILL THE FUCKING SEAGULLS
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Avril Lavige Left That Troll Dereck Whibley for a Billionaire
GO

Rebecca Gayheart Topless Photoshoot
GO

Wow, Lucy Has Some Huge god Damn Tits
GO

Some Kiki Klement Will Make Your Day Better
GO

Josan Maran is Looking Alright in the Hot Mess Kind of Way
GO

Nellie is Open Wide
GO

Karla Spice Takes It Off
GO

Internet Communities Explain
GO

Jaime Pressly – Bikini Candids On Her Honeymoon in Mexico
GO

Miss Plastic Surgery – The Contest
GO

Nia Long is So Hot in That Girl Next Door Kind of Way and I Almost Forgot About Her
GO

Pussy Puncher
GO

Awhhh Roman Polanski is Depressed in Jail!
GO

Man on Man Blowjobs Are No Longer Gay
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

13

Oct

Elle Macpherson’s Makes Elementary School Hot for the Non-Pedophiles of the Day

When I was in elementary school, the only pussy I remember was one of the girls in my class asking me to watch her pee in the woods behind the school, and then there was lookin onto the stripclub beside the school that eventually burnt down, but before it did, we’d spend our lunch hours watching the strippers on smoke breaks in the parking lot, then there was the mother of one of the kids who was a total fucking whore, who doubled as our lunch monitor and wore all tight denim and leather in fuck me boots, with ridiculous bleached hair extensions before the world even knew what hair extensions were, and there was that one teacher who took an interest in the less fortunate male kids who taught us about sex using his ass as the vagina, but that’s not really where I wanted to go with this story, I wanted to say that no kid had a mom who looked like Elle Macpherson in these pics come pick them up, and if they did, I would have befriended them, provided they didn’t mind having a weird immigrant who spoke broken english as a friend, so that I could sneak in the mom’s room and play with her panties, I mean when I wasn’t getting molested by my teacher.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Elementary School|Elle Macpherson

2009

13

Oct

January Jones and Her Tits in Lingerie for GQ of the Day

My gay friend loves the show Mad Men. He watches the shit all the fucking time and is obsessed with the concept of smoking on drinking on the job, except when it comes to me telling him stories about me smoking and drinking on the job, which triggers him to take a motherly approach and lecture me about how I am killing myself because I don’t get a enough hugs leading him to start hugging me to which I reply “you’re killing yourself because you had too many hugs, and by hugs I mean unprotected anal with strangers that gave you AIDS so stop hugging me, because I don’t want to get AIDS like this and if I need to get it any way, it’ll be by fucking a dirty, hot pussy, not by accidentally drinking some of the tears of the overbearing gay man in my life crying over my self destructive ways”….and I am sure he doesn’t watch the show because of this January Jones bitch and her stupid calendar name, or her tits that are in GQ this month….

Posted in:January Jones|Tits