I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

01

Sep

Rihanna is Almost Topless in Vogue of the Day

Where I come from, this is not considered topless, this is considered fucking annoying. As far as I’m concerned if there is no nipple exposed, there is no tit exposed and I’d let my 15 year old daughter go to school like this, because really there’s nothing erotic about it and if you think there is, you have some twisted perception of erotica motherfucker, not to mention you’re a fucking pervert because bitch is only 15.

The good news is that I don’t have a 15 year old daughter and I guess Vogue tried to bring it so we should give them some “props”, even though I’m over Rihanna, I think she’s got a stupid fucking face and is full of shit and even my dog barked at her when she was on TV at my neighbor’s house and he only barks at animals, so maybe I’ve been delusional all these years, you know, tricked by the fucking media…..they are everywhere….telling us what to think….we can’t escape….

Here are those pics of her as a robot, which I hope are more interesting than my useless babble…

Posted in:Rihanna|Topless

2009

01

Sep

Mischa Barton is Next on the Celebrity Death Watch of the Day

I used to do the Lohan deathwatch before becoming best friends with Lohan and realizing that she’s not going to die anytime soon, so I stopped the shit. So the last 6 months of having no Celebrity Death Watch, except for maybe the occassional Patrick Swayze post cuz I actually know he’s gonna die and that’s way less exciting that Kurt Cobain style surprises that devastate a nation, but the last few weeks I’ve been noticing Mischa Barton getting greyer and greyer lookin, unshowered and disgusting lookin, ready to throw in the towel on the game of life and ready to see if there really is a God and if that God will cast her in one of his stage shows in the sky, which he probably won’t but he’ll probably let her be a real actresses assistant or some shit.

Either way, Mischa Barton is the start of Drunkenstepfather.com’s celebrity death watch and now we just have to wait for her acceptance speech for this glorious honor that I doubt will ever come, because even though I’m alive, this site might as well be dead….it just lays here and does nothing while I just get weirder and weirder….

Posted in:Celebrity Death Watch|Mischa Barton

2009

01

Sep

Whitney Port Goes to Clown School of the Day

I am not a hundred percent sure if Whitney Port is really on her way to clown school or not, but she should be and she looks like she is all dressed in those crazy pants, like some kind of street performer you’d expect to meet juggling on the side of the street talking insanity who you decide to give a dollar to before asking on a date because she looks like she hasn’t fully recovered from her serious drug addiction that left her nuts enough to dress like a freak on the side of the street juggling, and that means it’ll be nutty fuckin’ sex and she won’t be snobby enough to reject you, because she’s working the fucking street like a crazy person….just her twitches alone are enough to imagine her vagina suffocating your dick like it was the small rodent she had to suffocate the night before for dinner because she’s so fuckin’ poor.

Either way, I think it’s about time Port legitimizes herself and becomes a master of her domain because I’ve been saying this bitch is a fuckin’ clown as long as she’s been around and once The Hills is done she’ll need to make a living some how.

Posted in:Clown School|Whitney Port|Wild Style

2009

31

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

I got all kinds of emails about this DJ AM shit, some people wanted me to take responsibility for his death like my site helped break him down and lead him to crack like I was his MTV show who put the crack pipe in his hand, or like I was his failed relationships because I mocked him on the regular, when in reality my site doesn’t have that kind of impact. Other people appreciated that I was respectful in my last post about him, but this guy Tim Lo seems to be my new DJ AM replacement, so when I’m at a loss of words or have to reference something as being gayer than bicycle shorts, it’s gonna be directed at Tim Lo because after getting emails like this….

fuck you for writing DJ AM is a cocksucker, not once but twice…i’m putting you on blast. I demand you write an apology to his fans.

Tim Lo

after the idiot went back into my archives and is ripping into my old posts that ripped into DJ AM and now wants an apology. I’m left with no other choice….now that I’m done with that, I am going to go pee on my wife while she takes her bath then laugh at her cuz she can’t get out on her own and beat me….

Because You’re Weekend Was Probably As Sexless AS Mine Was
GO

Megan Fox and Her Powerful Vagina
GO

Fuck Guitar Hero, The Roadies Are the Ones Who Make Things Happen
GO

German Lingerie Battle
GO

Holy Fuck Lohan’s Lips Are Inflated
GO

Hot Black Model Basically Nude
GO GO

God I Wanna Punch Reese Witherspoon in the Face
GO

Ladie Gaga Tranny Nipples
GO

Inner Monologue of Stan Lee, While Signing His Marvel Empire Over to Disney
GO

How Awesome Would It Be In Macauley Culkin Was the Father of One of MJ’s Kids?
GO

Amber Rose is Fucking Freaky
GO

WTF is Wrong With Amy Winehouse’s Face
GO

Lindsay Lohan Reality Show? Really?
GO

Oh Suzanna!!!
GO

Carrie Prejean Just Won’t Give Up her 15 Minutes
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Beavis and Butthead May Come Back to TV….As Two Grumpy Old Men
GO

I Know, It’s Shameful, But Mac ADs Still Make Me Laugh
GO

Sabrina and Her Sword
GO

Here’s Some Daytime Soap Sluts
GO

Meet Steve and His Boner
GO

Girl Caught Masterbating on a Hidden Cam
GO

Jamie Lynn Strips Down
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Hey Nick, Go Fuck Yourself
GO

Meet Laura Lion
GO

Demi Moore Is Full Of Shit (And Silicone…And Maybe Botox)
GO

Some Topless Kate Moss
GO

Leilani Dowding Nude
GO

Gwen is The Kind of Girl That Would Bring Me Happiness
GO

Britney Spears vs. Jamie Lynn Spears: The Bikini MILF Matchup
GO

Because the Montreal Club Chicks Make The Other Cities Club Chicks Look Like Trannys
GO

Peach is Knocking Back a Beer
GO

Man Mickey Rourke is Gettin All the Pussy
GO

I Mean Really, Who Doesn’t Love Kitten
GO

Shoulder Deep Fisting
GO

I’d Totally Throw It In Ladyhawke
GO

The 7 Douchiest Theme Parties
GO

The World Face Pulling Championships
GO

Family fight in Hospital!
GO

If Paris Hilton Wore This Every Day, And Danced Like This Every Night, I’d Definitely End Up Fucking Her!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

31

Aug

The McCord Sister at a Pool Party in Vegas of the Day

I hate these sisters, but at least they get half naked for attention, because despite it not being as exciting as fullynaked, it is a hell of a lot more interesting than fully clothed and in all honesty, based on Annalynne McCord’s mouth, I think her pussy may be a disgustingly large, and meaty thing to look at, that may or may not have a set of horse teeth growing in the shit.

Either way, here are the sisters trying to live it up as much as they can before the rest of the world realizes they are a waste of fucking space and not nearly as hot or interesting as they think they are….
But then again, what do I know, I’m just a writer of blogs.


PICS VIA INF

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Pool

2009

31

Aug

Miley Cyrus in Some Has Hugging Shorts on of the Day

Miley was out wearing the Disney Issued shorts she is contractually obliged to wear everytime she goes to a meeting with her bosses, only she was good enough to keep the crotchless feature that buttons up like a pair of Peter Pan pajamas, buttoned up because otherwise these pics would make us all kiddie porn peddlers. Remember one day she will turn 18 and that day will hopefully be the day all you perverts lose interest with her because I can tell you this much, she is not hot.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Shorts

2009

31

Aug

Mischa Barton and her Self Destructive Legs of the Day

I met an ex self destructive dude in the woods where I was drinking alone and trying to medidate, you know plan my future, think of what is coming next, plot my escape from the Internet and decide where to escape to, and this asshole rained on my fuckin’ day dreamin’ parade.

He thought I cared about his medical history that he was volunteering, from his drug addiction to hepatitis, to cancer, to a blood infection that made him crazy to his weighloss and walmart shorts before preaching about depression and abuse and how he is a fuckin’ hero in his therapists eyes for breaking free from addiction and having this positive new outlook on life. He preached and preached and fuckin’ went on about how I shouldn’t be drinking, how I shouldn’t be doin’ pill and how a life without the shit is amazing, so amazing that all he fucking talked about was fuckin’ using and dealing with the diseases using gave him, that would be far less of a pain to deal with if he was still using cuz he’d be too high to fuckin’ notice. Either way, I offered him a beer and that was the end of the sobriety talk because he was too busy getting wasted for the first time in 6 months thanks to me.
I wonder what a fall from the top feels like since I’ve always been in the gutter, I hope Mischa writes a memoir before she dies of an overdose cuz I’d love to read about how one day she realized she wasn’t the pretty girl everyone made a big deal about….

I like to think I help people too and here are some pics of Mischa Barton and her drug and alcohol abusing legs.

PICS VIA PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Legs|Mischa Barton

2009

31

Aug

Cisco Adler and His Shy Groupie of the Day

Let’s face it, if anyone fucks this dude, it is strictly because he is famous or because he was on MTV or because he dated famous people or because he’s a budding rockstar with a pretty commercial sounding rap group, and it’s got nothing to do with how cool he is, how big his scrotum is, or how good lookin or talented he is and that’s why she’s covering her face, because she doesn’t mind the opportunity or doors dating him and his rich father may have for her, but she doesn’t like the rest of the world peering in and calling her out on her little strategic play, because even she knows it is pretty much bottom feeding at its best and that’s something you can’t stand tall and proud and celebrate, especially when we all know his dick’s been in you, you fucking dirtbag.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Beach|Cisco Adler|Groupie

2009

31

Aug

Kim Kardashian and her Fat Tits of the Day

Kim Kardashian is a new fucking woman, I don’t know what the fuck she did to herself but she doesn’t look the same at all and I guess even she figured she was lame as fuck and a total fucking attention seeking joke who only had a career cuz she let black dudes piss on her like the urinal at my local community center on a thursday night after the basketball practice and it was probably best to do try to escape that by transforming herself into someone know one fuckin’ recognzied. I hear the next big move towards escaping the shit is pulling a Chastity Bono, so enjoy these tits when you have the chance, cuz with whatever bra she has on, they are pretty spectacular.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

31

Aug

Jessica Alba is Trying to Wash Away Her Dirty Sins of the Day

Based on Alba’s baby, it’s safe to say she’s a dirty fucking girl, because to have a baby takes cum attaching itself to a uterus and in order for that to happen, Alba had to pull the condom out of the garbage and put it inside out and shove the shit inside her at least 20 times before it actually worked, cuz Cash Warren knew she was skipping her pill to trap him, and insisted on using rubbers that he brought, sometimes doubling the fuck up just in case she poked a hole in the shit or one was to break because she lined her pussy with Vaseline or oil based lubricant that destroys condom or some shit cuz she was just that desperate to get knocked the fuck up and trap the man she convinced herself was her soulmate.
So seeing her with wet hair reminds me that like my friend who fucked a girl with AIDS, no matter how many times she scrubs herself down, even to the point of bleeding, the damage is done and she’s still got serious baggage in the form of a kid and despite how great being a stepfather is, it’s not something I recommend for masturbation fanatasies…..dirty girl.

Here are some pictures of her from last week bending over that I forgot to post…..

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Dirty Girl|Jessica Alba|Wet