I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

12

Aug

Blake Lively and Her Gossip Girl Legs of the Day

Here are Blake Lively’s legs. I’m not sure why I am giving her added attention, maybe it’s because I like they way her stomach bubbles out in her dress like she’s on her period or even in the early stages of teenage pregnancy or even just a little chubby from all the cocaine and booze she’s been drinkin now that she’s got lots of money to spend on the shit…..and that’s all I have to say about that….even though I would have probably been better off not saying anything….

Posted in:Blake Lively|Gossip Girl|Legs

2009

12

Aug

Elle Macpherson’s Got Sex Hair on Set of the Day

Elle Macpherson got a job on some Ashton Kutcher bullshit show about models because she used to be a model and I guess it was a natural fit, but not quite as natural as the unprotected sex she had to get from her tribal village in Tazmania into the the big modeling world back in the 80s, not that that happened, but I like to imagine all women with bone through their noses and one down their throat, if you know what I mean, which I hope you do, cuz I don’t have any idea what I mean, I am just distracted by my love for Elle Macpherson even as her beauty slowly ripens into a sloppy mess, it’s like we’ve got history or some shit, thanks to my jerking off to her for the first time back in ’88, that was 20 years ago, and I could still get off to her, and not many pussies have that kind of longevity.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|On Set|Sex Hair

2009

12

Aug

Kelly Osborne’s Fat Tits DJ Badly of the Day

So it turns out that Kelly Osborne does more than just eat and spend her dad’s money, she also is a celebrity DJ who gets booked to play her shitty ipod mixes at clubs for big money, because people are so fascinated by celebrity and celebrity offspring that if Kelly Osborne listens to the shit, and sets the mood for the party thru her song choices, then it must be good enough for them to dance to.

I’d rather watch her masturbate and listen to her moan that be forced to get drunk to her mixes, and I really have no interest in every watching her masturbating or listening to her moan, if anything I find the thought fuckin’ disgusting, just figured it’d be a good enough visual for you to really grasp how badly I don’t want to hear her and her novelty DJ gig…and here are her fat tits…

Posted in:DJ|Kelly Osborne|Tits

2009

12

Aug

Dude Catchin’ Laptops in His Ass of the Day

In recent GLAAD complaints I figured I’d post something to lighten the mood and shit’s come in the form of a video of a dude catching laptops in his ass with his friends because I support homosexuality, especially when it involves fun and games in wrestling uniforms…it’s inspiring.

Posted in:Ass|Laptop

2009

12

Aug

My First GLAAD Complaint of the Day

It’s a celebration motherfuckers. I finally hit the mainstream and one of my jokes has offended someone enough to file a complaint with GLAAD, some gay and lesbian group who don’t get jokes….This is what they wrote me….

Dear Mr. Jarrett Barrios, GLAAD President, GLAAD Advocates, And Staff at DrunkenStepfather.com,

The following material was brought to my attention on DrunkenStepfather.Com

(Referencing a skinny man on a beach with Paulina Porizkova): “Here is some ex model hanging topless with some dude who clearly has AIDS”

Please see the link below:

To GLAAD advocates and Mr. Barrios:

this is unacceptable material and warrants immediate action.

To the publishing staff at DrunkenStepfather.com: I request that you post a formal, written apology posted on your websites that explains why this comment is not appropriate and the mistake you have both
made in publishing it.

In the event you do not understand why such comments warrant such an apology in light of the world AIDS crisis, in light of entrenched homophobia in this country, and in the light of the history of how the AIDS epidemic has been handled politically, feel free to be in touch. I would be happy to discuss it with you.

A sincere thanks to Mr. Barrios and the advocates at GLAAD for creating a culture that honors humanity and acceptance. Thank you for continuing to fight this continuously hostile environment.

David Cohen
davidcalvocohen@gmail.com
New York, NY, Portland OR

This is what I wrote back:

David.

I do not know who Mr Barrios is and I don’t know why saying “some dude who clearly has Aids” is an GLAAD issue? Have we not got over the stigma that AIDS is a gay disease? I mean are the Black Panthers going to get upset at me over this too, since AIDS is actually an issue in Africa? Your claims are racist and imply that saying a skinny man looks like he has aids means he is a homosexual male I find them offensive and will file an incident at GLAAD against you. Motherfucker. It’s not my fault your family doesn’t accept your sexual orientation. Stop taking out your unhappiness on me and get off the computer making compliands and get on a gay pride float in a pair of leather chaps where you belong.

PS – I never apologize for what I write, especially to idiots who don’t know how to read what I write properly. You are the one who owes us the apology for putting words in my mouth, like you’d probably like to put cock in your asshole….Asshole.

PPS – I am a homosexual

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Makin’ hate work for me since I started this shit….

Posted in:GLAAD

2009

12

Aug

Milla Jovovich Naked in Maxim of the Day

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Milla Jovovich just had a kid and this is the ass her husband probably should pulled out to cum all over, instead he got too ambitious and kept shit internal, leading him to a lifelong commitment to this bitch, even after they have a miserable divorce because he got caught fucking a younger and hotter actress.

She was in Maxim, trying to hold onto her youth, like she’s was still just a bright eyed girl on a cattle car escaping communist Russia with some guy she’d called her uncle, who financed the journy by letting men pay to touch her vagina.

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Posted in:Maxim|Milla Jovovich|Naked

2009

12

Aug

Naomi Campbell Washes Her Stinky Vag Her Bikini of the Day

Naomi Campbell was out on a boat with her Russian billionaire real estate entrepreneur/russian mobster, who she is either married to or engaged to because crazy high maintenance cunts like billionaires and russians are the only kind of sadist motherfuckers who can handle crazy high maintenance cunts.

At least that’s what my homie Vladimir used to tell me everytime he got caught up with a crazy escort, because apparently no matter how insane the bitch got, he said they had nothing on the girl’s back home, then he’d beat the fuck out of them.

Not that it matters, what does matter is that Naomi Campbell is hosing down her stinky cunt and I’m not just saying that to be racist, because I love black pussy and dream about it at night, I am saying it because why else would a bitch be hosing down her cunt. I guess maybe it’s to get the salt water out of the shit cuz it’s making the herpes scabs burn, but I prefer thinking she chronically smells like rotting seafood because stinky pussy makes me feel alive, or at least keeps me awake everytime I go down on a bitch, so that I don’t fall asleep in her pussy like some kind of asshole.

Posted in:Bikini|Naomi Campbell|Russian

2009

11

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

Lawyers are on my dick and not in a good way..

I had to take down the Ashley Greene nude pictures because they got all the buzz they needed for their new trailer they released today and they feel like making a big deal abotu shit, even though nothing ever disappears off the internet.

This is the email I wrote them back

I will get those down – I was under the impression they belong to PEREZ HILTON as his logo was ALL over them.

If you look at the images on my site – You will see they say PEREZ HILTON all over them.

That is where I found them and you should PURSUE legal action against him.

UNFORTUNATELY, he always manages to WIN, despite being a hideous looking creature who belongs in jail.

ADMIT you like my random words in CAPITAL letters.

PS – You’re AWESOME…..I am sure great at giving blowjobs….can you respond telling me what you’ll do to me with your mouth if I don’t comply…fuck I am hard right now….seriously I am sliding my dick in my hand imagining it was your mouth…sure I don’t know you and have never seen you, but I can only imagine it being quite tight and luxurious…hold me…I feel so alone…..crying….

Here are my stepLINKS

Because You Can Get Fucked in More Ways Than 1
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Okay, What the FUCK is a Jugaloo?
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Jessica Lowndes is the Welfare Version of Megan Fox
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10 Drugs You Shouldn’t Do While Driving
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BRO SEARCH IS TOTALLY NOT GAY!
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In the event you didn’t read my other post – here’s Amber Rose’s NSFW Hot Photoshoot
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Exclusive (and FUCKIN’ HOT!) Miranda Kerr Swimsuit Pics You Won’t Find Anywhere Else!
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Even Paris Had to Get a FULL CAVITY search
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Angie Harmon See Through Grandma
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How About Diane Kruger’s Ass CRack
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What Her Drink Really Says About HEr
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Senior Citizens Are Pretty Much Always Awesome Unless They Are White
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Striptease of the Day
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Jessica Stroup Does It Better
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Just as One Would Expect, Britney’s Boy Are Growing Up to Be Perfect Gentlemen
And By Perfect Gentlemen I Mean By-Product White Trash That Swear Like Sailors
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Heather Graham Bikini Ass
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Kate Gosselin is So Fucking Gross
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Michelle Takes It Off
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Here’s The Trailer For That Movie Heath Ledger Was In Before He Died
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Jenny McCarthy Looks Good in Hooker Boots
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Stacey Kiebler Gallery
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How About a B Grade Sex Movie
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I FORGOT HOT HOT ANGELINA JOLIE IS WHEN SHE DOESN’T HAVE 12 BABIES ON HER
ARM AND TWINS FLYING OUT OF HER VAGINA!!!
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Tit Fights > Bum Fights
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Nerdy Girl, Big Tits, Good Head
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Heather’s Gallery is Glorious
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Chinese Drinking Games Look Pretty Awesome
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Fat Man On a Diving Board
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The Curious Case of Ali Lohan
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Part 2
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Sammie Pennington is Nude
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Angel Gets Fucked
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Gisele is Always Easy on the Eyes
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And More Disney Jailbait. For Fuck Sakes
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Kasia in a Tiny Red Dress
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Kayden Cross Loves Leather
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Ali Landry Bikini Hotness
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“No, Officer. It Was My Cat Who Downloaded All That Child Pornography.”
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Hilary Clinton Will Smack You Down!
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Butt Plug Fail, Gravity is a Bitch
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Club Hotties That Will Make You Sweat
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

11

Aug

60 Year Old Perver Rapes Minnie Mouse of the Day

“Judge, I was just having fun” when on trial for molestation, rape or sexual harrassment looks like it just won’t work, again. I mean the whole thing is really bullshit, Minnie Mouse has been seducing men for fucking decades and it’s only natural that the second one of us comes in contact with her that we’d go for her cunt, even if Minnie Mouse is just a person dressed like Minnie Mouse and not the actual cartoon character. We’d do the same to pretty much anyone dressed like someone who has been cockteasin’ forever, especially when bitch is in the magic fuckin’ kingdom and if they don’t want us to try to make magic than they should re-work their marketing strategy.

The real joke in all this is that Walt Disney was created by a fuckin’ pedophile, in an era when pedophiles weren’t arrested if they were high profile….they just sort of swept it under the rug…but everyone knew that a man with such a deep rooted interest in little kids was messed the fuck up and not someone they wanted to let their kids visit for private screenings….

I guess what it comes down to is that we’re all perverts and this minimum wage whore is just trying to make some money and get on TV. I can’t wait for someone to actually molest her, rape her or sexually harrass her to teach her a fucking lesson.

Posted in:60 Year Old|Pervert

2009

11

Aug

Amber Rose Photoshoot Video of the Day

If you’re wondering how to get on the cover of a magazine, all you have to do is pretend date a gay rapper and go on crazy shopping trips with him that he bankrolls as long as you can stomach him talking about boys which is a lot better than stomaching all the cum you’ve had to swallow just to get to this motherfucker, cuz I am pretty sure I saw this twat on Maury bragging about fucking a dude for a bucket of chicken and an old OIdsmobile back in the fuckin’ 90s. She’s not all that hot, but if she’s good enough for Kanye to play fake lover with, than she’s good enough for dudes to think she’s hot, I guess.


Either way, here’s the pics from the photoshoot
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Posted in:Amber Rose|Complex|Photoshoot