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Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day

Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day

Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day

Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day

Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2009

Aug

Jessica Alba Inspires New Mothers With This Body of the Day

5 Comments »

It’s taken a while, but it looks like Jessica Alba’s gone and got her body back. I guess we can all stop hating on Cash Warren and calling him a muderer for killin’ her body and we can go back to sympathizing with him knowing that this bitch trapped the motherfucker for life, but at least she’s lookin good now while doin’ it.

Let’s just hope for everyone’s sake, the next time she lets a dude cum inside her that she has the decency to herself and the rest of us to get fuckin’ Plan B morning after pill, or better yet a fuckin’ abortion, because abortions are like porn to me, they are also a total relief and if I could, I’d devote my life to abortion, but unfortunately it takes years of schooling to be an abortionist, that you can work your way around if you want to get arrested. I’ve looked into it.

Here’s her body in her bikini for her big reveal you’ve all already masturbated to..

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Jessica Alba

2009

Aug

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Her Dumpy Bikini Body of the Day

4 Comments »

Jennifer Love proves my theory that the big titty girl from high school always grows up to be the fat assed girl at the office Christmas party ten years later….so she’s not the high school sweetheart you want to knock up or marry because that’ll just speed up the fuckin’ process, and I have no idea how all this happened to Jennifer Love, I can only blame depression or self-sabotaging because anyone who wants to a success in Hollywood has a responsibility to not get fat, no matter how tired they are of starving themselves, they have can’t let girls everywhere think it’s okay to let themselves go.

On the positive side of things, she’s lookin’ better than she did this time last year, and I like to think that has something to do with her new boyfriend, Jamie Kennedy, a man who once fucked a friend of mine.

He is subtley trying to trick her into burning some calories, like a good boyfriend who wants his bitch skinny, but still wants to get laid during the time it takes her to get there, he staged an innocent game of basketball, followed by a walk, swim, bike ride, sit ups and dinner at his favorite salad spot, which is more effective than my strategy to get my wife to lose weight by calling her worthless and a piece of shit while throwing baked goods at her forcing her to eat as much as possible it hopes she gets sick and never touches the shit again, which has proven to only make things fuckin’ worse…

Pics via FAME

Posted in:Bikini|Dumpy|Jennifer Love Hewitt

2009

Aug

Carolina Baldini’s Hot Ass and Manly Body of the Day

5 Comments »

With a name like Baldini, you have a serious amount of pressure to make sure that pussy is waxed, because that shit is pretty much your life responsibility to stay true to your fuckin’ name. A name that is advertising that she’s got no hair down there, and upon introducing herself, that is pretty much a signed fucking contract that any dude she gets with is going to get what he expects when her pants come off, but based on this bitches body from the front, that’s probably a huge the least of her concerns, because abs that ripped mean only one thing and that’s that there’s a dude living inside her.

So whether shit is in the form of balls and shaft with no pussy but a whole lot of tucking or just hormonal imbalances that jack up her testosterone and body hair level, there’s definitely some weirdness going on, but not as much weirdness as when dudes are forced to deal with their sexuality after dealing with the conflict that when you’re faced with her ass you want to do nothing but eat out that asshole and fuck it, but when you see her from the front, you kind wanna just go tag team chicks and drink beers with him. This is on some Twilight Zone shit.

Here is a video of her shaking her ass on some dancing show in Argentina

Posted in:Ass|Carolina Baldini|Hard Body

2009

Aug

Model DJ Duo Kellie Acreman and Lauren Pope in Bikinis of the Day

2 Comments »

This is one of those two ugly sluts are better than one ugly slut, but don’t quite equal one good lookin’ slut. It’s what threesome rationale is made of. You know when you’re out getting drunk and you have the option to call your regular jump off, or go home with these two busted chicks who are willing to give you a double blowjob, that you take for the experience, and because the fact that there is two of them outweighs the fact that they are dumpy. It is the same reason these two dumpy girls at the stripclub I frequent try to sell lesbian shows, because no one books their solo dances, and this lesbian fantasy gets them paid.

Their names are Kellie Acreman and Lauren Pope, I have no idea who they are, but they claim to be DJs , DJs I assume play horrible music, who can’t mix and who pretty much suck, but who the Ed Hardy crowd think are awesome because they have tits and because they Ed Hardy crowd has no idea what the fucks up.

Posted in:Bikinis|DJs|Kellie Acreman|Lauren Pope|Miami

2009

Aug

Katy Perry and Her Pink Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

I hate Katy Perry, but clearly not as much as I hate myself. I just spent 40 minutes uploading all these fucking pictures of the twat and I can’t fuckin’ stand her and it just reminds me that I need to find better things to do with my time than punish myself like this day in a day fuckin’ out for no fuckin’ reason.

Seriously, why the fuck do I bother doing this, do people actually give a fuck about this cunt, because I don’t. I don’t even like celebrity bitches, I can’t even spot them if they are standing in front of me. I am so detached from TV, Movies and even doing this shit, because they are totally fucking irrelevant to me.

If it wasn’t for her constant polluting my life as some kind of forced onto me soundtrack to my fuckin’ day every time I leave the fuckin’ house, I probably wouldn’t know who the fuck she was and I probably wouldn’t bother hating her and her dumpy body, but since her record company has raped me, I make an effort remembering the rapist and source of the violation and somewhere along the way, my life becamecropping and posting pictures of this cunt who I don’t find the least bit interesting, inspiring or even attractive.

I am much more into doin the raping, you know to bitches I meet in my everyday life, who look better, who get drunk and who trust the spiked drink I give them enough to get enough roofie in them for me to do a little pussy or tit grab….it is much more rewarding than doing a garbage post about them….

Here is the asshole hiding behind a Donut pillow….because she identifies with fat, useless, greasy pieces of shit that are only good for a couple of minutes before the excitement dies cuz they make you want to die on the fuckin’ inside.

Here are her tits performing (badly and embarrassingly) at some Pool Party…big tits don’t excite me the same way they did when I was 12 but maybe you’re easier to impress than me….cuz I am all about finding the perfect designer pussy….the mother pussy all other pussy aspires to be…I haven’t found it yet….but then again girls aren’t too eager to impress me with pictures of their cunts….so I’m forced to reference the trash vagina I come across in life….which is more like dollar store pussy and not high end fashion house pussy…..

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Katy Perry

2009

Aug

Gretchen Rossi is Bullshit in a Bikini of the Day

7 Comments »

Gretchen Rossi is so fucking useless that she is on TV, but doesn’t even have her own Wikipedia page and over the course of my “career” writing this site with one hand on the keyboard and the other in my ass, I have seen a lot of fuckin’ useless fuckin’ people, all of whom had a wikipedia page.

I guess no one gives a fuck about this whore, so I am forced to ask myself why I am bothering writing this shit about her, and the answer is simple….she has a tight body and is in a bikini and that’s all it really takes to get into my heart. I don’t care if she’s useless or not in her career, cuz I can think of at least 5 things she’s good for…..

Since I’m a bottom feeder and can spot other Bottom Feedin’, I know that she’s probably figured out that all she needs to do is hire a photographer, get into a bikini and hit the beaches of Malibu in hopes all the tabloids run her shit to secure a little fanbase, and maybe one day even get her that Wikipedia page, because these are staged, bullshit and make me want to punch her in the face because I hate lies, just as soon as I’m done fucking her up the ass…..because I like fucking bitches up the ass….Here are the pics…

Posted in:Bikini|Gretchen Rossi|Real Housewives of Orange County

2009

Aug

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy in Her Bikini of the Day

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Here’s some boring pictures of 42 model, actor, first lady of France (in your pants). She was one of those bitches who rationalized being a slut with some backwards sex in the city logic, that monogamy is not part of human nature, so she was passed around like the whore that she was from Eric Clapton to Mick Jagger, stopping her journey around the block with the President of France, who she got to marry her after dating her a short period because he was probably blown away by how good her blowjob was after years of random cock practice in her sexually liberated, herpes filled mouth.

I know a couple girls with that same “dude” mentality, where they want to experience as many cocks as they can, because they thing it will bring them to some higher understanding or enlightenment, at least that’s how they justify it to their gynocologist, while in reality they just do it because no dudes respect them enough to stick around for more than a couple one night stands and I’ve fucked a couple girls with the same slut mentality, who were too good to be prostitutes or pornstars, but who saw as many cock as prostites and porn stars, and they were all horrible as fuck in bed. It’s like the conversation about how open they were to sex and how sexual they were was hotter than their performance.

The best girls are the longterm relationship girls, because they know how to keep shit fresh and experimental, you know if they’ve dated the same dude for 5 years or something that she’s taken it up the ass and pretty much done everything possible, while sluts just do things standard and go home and cut themselves while crying and watching old Disney movies, wondering where that wholesome little girl they once were went.

I wrote too much for such garbage, so here’s some Carla Bruni in her bikini from afar….cuz creeping on girls from a distance is porn to me.

Here’s a song Carla Bruni wrote about her lost love for herself, you know a time when she had some self-respect….

Posted in:Carla Bruni|Sarkozy

2009

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I went to the park today because it was sunny out and I came across a group of 6 or 7 sixteen year old girls. They were wearing bikinis and rubbing tanning oil on each other intensely. It was a vision of perfection, I mean I don’t think asses stay that tight much longer for girls and it was like I saw them at there prime. It was so amazing that I think shit played out in slow fucking motion, it felt like it took them an hour for them to stop goin at each other, not that I wanted to, but the whole thing remind me of a ghetto softcore porn I stole from a music store years ago on VHS.
Either way, it made me fuckin’ happy, it reminded me of how good life can be unti I got home and heard my wife grunting for me to meet her in the bathroom because she needed someone to wash the fold of fat on her back she can’t reach, and all that goodness I experience went down the fucking toilet, along with my dignity.

I guess on the positive side of things, at least she washed today…here are my stepLINKS….

Because You May Not Be Lucky Girls….
But That Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Get Off
GO

Here’s the Nipples of the Newest Chick George Clooney is Fucking
GO

I Can’t Stop Laughing At This Country Yoga Homo Asshole
Seriously Tho This is Creepy
GO

Jordana Brewster Has Still Got It
GO

It’s a Dr Phil Prank Call
GO

Tori Spelling See Through Bikini
GO

YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT
GO

Seth Rogan is Amazing
GO

Jennifer Lopez’s Sluttiest Pics
GO

8 Things That Will Definitely Happen at Summer Camp
GO

Polygamist Ladies Exposed!
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Kelly Clarkson is Pretty Much Dusgusting
GO

Ciara is a Camel-Toe Flashing, Third-Tier Rihanna
GO

Grace Jones is An Insane Freak That Looks Like a Man, But I Love Her
GO

A Seinfeld Reunion is in the Works, Ooof
GO

Michelle Cameron & Lily
GO

Leslie Mann is Kind of Hot
GO

It’s a Porn Star Birthday
GO

I Love When Shakira Shakes Her Ass
GO

Oh Sweet Nina
GO

Who Knew Trent Reznor Was Such a Cry Baby and Could Get Butthurt so Easy
GO

Toll Booth Fail
GO

Brunette Gets Dominated
GO

Gina is Your Fantasy
GO

Comic-Con Whores
GO

Beach Boobs!!!
GO

Who Is Katie Lee Joel
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

A Snuggie for a Dog? For Fuck Sakes
GO

Kayleigh Pearson is Nude
GO

Any Another dita Von Tease Sex Video
GO

Meet Candace
GO

Ashley Tisdale is Leggy
GO

Misty Anderson Camera Action
GO

I Wana Motorboat These Babies
GO

The Megan Fox Boycott Boycott
GO

Adriana Malkova in the Sauna
GO

Katie Faye in Polish Playboy
GO

Naked Lesbian Massage Anyone?
GO

Dinner is Served
GO

Joan Rivers is Too Much
GO

Bath Tub MILF
GO

Little Girl on a Game Show Goes Wrong
GO

Some No Name Slut in NYC Making Me Wanna Fuck Her Drunk Pussy
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s NEW Look for her NEW Job of the Day

13 Comments »

Lohan’s been reported to be desperate for money and here she is with some new look, with new blonde hair and new lips that she claims is for a new part, which is technically the truth, but it’s not gonna be a movie for Disney, shit’s gonna be a fuckin’ porn, at least that’s what I assume because the porn companies are offereing her huge money and everyone knows that girls who jack up their lips and bleach out their hair are into suckin’ dick on camera, or stripping, or just attracting male attention cuz their dad’s were too busy spending late nights at the office…..

Either way, I’m excited for this move and I think it was a great decision on her part. The work is gonna be constant and well paying, the fans are gonna be excited to see her back on screen only doing what she does best and most importanlty she’s really gonna love giving her vagina an opportunity to make up for lost time, you know, this whole lesbian phase left the fucker feelin’ left the fuck out..

Here’s her new porn look for you to get ready to the face you’re soon gonna be masturbating to….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Porn

2009

Jul

Kim Kardashian Gettin’ Worked On of the Day

11 Comments »

When I first saw these pictures of Kim Kardashian’s fat arms getting a manicure and pedicure, or what I like to call the procedure all fat girls get to make them feel a little better about themselves, because trying on clothes makes them depressed because their fat selves have to come to terms that they aren’t a size 2. I figured she was just a rich, brat, famous person who is so important and has so many useless things to do that she can’t waste time in one of these sexy nail places, so they gotta keep shit efficient for her….

But then I realized that she’s the kind of girl who only looks good with a lot of maintenance, so these bitches, like hunting an elephant, or running a dairy farm, they are tackling her shit as a team with a strategy and the whole thing is totally not erotic, unless you are into Vietnam war fantasies of raping and killing villages…

Here are the pictures, looks like she’s sad, maybe she’s realized that she’s a talentless piece of shit who is only famous cuz she lets black dudes treat her like a urinal, but I feel she’s so souless that she doesn’t even acknowledge that.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Manicure|Pedicure