DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

19

Jun

Kate Moss and Her See Through Top of the Day

I used to love Kate Moss because she was such a fuckin’ mess. With all the drinking and cocaine while her kid was at home. The dating rockstars with crack and heroin addictions and all the other shit she was involved in during her retirement, a retirement far more interesting than your dads, and I just figured she’d be crazy in bed, like this party girl I met the other day, who was wasted and lookin’ a lot like a model, maybe cuz I was drunk, or maybe because she was tall, but the point is we got to talking and in her drunken stupod she slapped me across the face pretty hard, when I asked why, she said cuz it turns her on and she did it again. Next thing you know I’m grabbin’ her ass and she’s asking me if I’ve ever been choked out when I cum and then she asks me to slap her back. I wasn’t down with doin it in public, cuz people don’t appreciate dude who beat chicks, but did it anyway, because I don’t appreciate people who judge people who beat chicks, especially when it was clearly a sexual beating…

Either way, here’s Kate Moss’ nipple in her see through shirt….

Posted in:Kate Moss|See Through

2009

19

Jun

Dude from Grey’s Anatomy’s Wife on the Beach of the Day

2 Comments »

The big news to housewives and single middle aged women today is that Grey’s Anatomy star just quit the show and they’ve been forced to retire their vibrators on whatever nigth it is on, to do something else with their time, like emotionally eat the loss away.

The big news to me is that he married a black girl 15 years ago and they have 5 kids together. That’s on some next level shit cuz I can’t even get black girls to talk to me when in line at KFC together and I make awkward conversation about how good a deal this crazy tuesday 2 dollar chicken is….

Posted in:Beach|Grey's Anatomy|Justin Chambers|wife

2009

19

Jun

Katie Price is Still Goin’ Strong in Ibiza of the Day

4 Comments »

Katie Price has been working really hard the last couple of days. I guess now that she’s getting divorced it’s time to pick up the fuckin’ pace, or make some money to pay off the leech who gets half of everything. I’ve posted a lot of pictures of her at the job and it’s been really exhausting, but probably not as exhausting as spending days laying around a beach in a bikini, half naked, in the sun, in luxury, while people snap off pics while carrying a fat set of tits around all day. Sure she’s useless and has a weird fuckin’ body, but I guess I do too.

Here are the pics….I am uninspired with her….pretty much exhausted her this week….

Posted in:Bikini|Ibiza|Katie Price|Photoshoot

2009

19

Jun

Kirsten Bell in her Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

People find Kristen Bell hot. I think she’s boring. I think her decision in guys she dates proves the level of substance she really has. I’m not gonna be that guy who hates on the guy with the celebrity girl all these other dudes want to fuck, I’m just saying Dax seems like someone who’s ultimate prank or “punk’d” trick, the one that would make everyone happy, would be the one he drops on Kristen Bell, when she comes back from a jog and finds him hanging from a closet in her panties like he was David Carradine….

She’s in a bikini, so I can’t hate too hard on her…I just don’t have that in me….

Posted in:Bikini|Kristen Bell

2009

19

Jun

Britney Spears and Her Crazy Nipples of te Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Britney’s nipples crying, but the good news is that they aren’t as sad as her vagina, thanks to the two pregnancies in over two years and her giving up on life which included but wasn’t limited to not washing or tending to her vagina needs.

Here are some pics….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Nipples

2009

19

Jun

Chris de Burgh’s Daughter is in Red of the Day

2 Comments »

I have a borderline hatred for Chris de Burgh. He didn’t do anything specifically to piss me off, but in 1988, I spend a weeek at a resort with a girl I was seeing. She was pretty much my high school sweetheart, even though I dropped out of high school, you know first that only true love bullshit, because since her girls haven’t been virgins or loyal or really even all that fun to be around or into me.

Anyway, we were both 18 or 19 at the time, and they had this lobby bar piano player who only knew the song “Lady in Red” and played that shit on fuckin repeat. Everytime my girl would walk by he’d sing a little louder and by day 5 of this “Lady in Red” shit I was starting to get mad, so I decided to do a day trip down doing some activity by the beach and she asked to stay behind to tan and read her book or some shit, which I though was weird, but not as weird as when I got back to the room and motherfucker was slamming my chick from behind.

So since then, “Lady in Red” has brought up some serious anger issues, ones that will only be heeled by hate fucking Rosana Davison, Chris De Burgh’s daughter and former Miss Universe, in my kind of “gettin’ even” strategy.

Posted in:Chris de Burgh|Daughter|Rosana Davison

2009

19

Jun

David Caruso and His Brown Lover of the Day

8 Comments »

Here’s David Caruso being a typical ginger with sensitive skin hanging out at the beach with his transparent skin in a T-shirt so that he doesn’t catch on fire, I have a deep rooted hatred for gingers, mainly because they scare the fuck out of me since they have super ginger strength from years of being left in the woods by their parents and fending for themselves because no one wants a ginger baby, but recently I’ve been obsessed with having sex with one, not David Caruso, but a female version, because I hear they get so excited someone is willing to get down with their red vaginas that they go crazy at the opportunity, and that’s good enough for me, I just have to find myself one.

I have no idea who the chick he is with is, but I am assuming she’s illegal.

Posted in:Bikini|Brown Chick|David Caruso

2009

19

Jun

Emilie de Ravin and Robert Pattinson on the Beach Makin’ Out of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s some cunt from Lost with a stupid name that reminds me of bad poetry you’d expect some art fag who decided to chat you up in a bar one night, when all you wanted was to get fuckin’drunk alone, but instead have to listen to him cry about his life philosophy, like I give a fuck.

She is on the beach with her useless ass in useless shorts and a useless bikini top with useless tits, making out with the teen hearthrob Robert Pattinson, who hit big because of that piece of shit money making scam that is Twilight, which only makes sense, because she hit big because of that money making scam that is Lost.

Fuck all these motherfuckers and their bullshit. That’s all I gotta say about that.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Emile de Ravin|Robert Pattinson

2009

19

Jun

Some Dude Gets Arrested for Trying to Help of the Day

2 Comments »

I feel bad for this dude, he is misunderstood, all he did was install a camera in a teenage girl’s bedroom to make sure she was ok. You know to make sure no one sneaks in at night and rapes her, and to make sure that she was still breathing while she slept, masturbated, or pretty much did anything girls do in their rooms. I feel the injustice isn’t that she was being watched, it’s that he wasn’t crowned a fuckin’ hero, not to mention the only reason he got busted is cuz the 16 year old he was spying on was spying on him, so someone needs to bring her down.

Side note for those wondering, this story isn’t about me, I am not into hidden cameras, I am more into surprise visits.

Posted in:Peeping Tom|Voyeur

2009

19

Jun

Leighton Meester Sex Tape of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t have the Leighton Meester sex tape, she’s some chick from Gossip Girl who is all the rage right now, making a sex tape release good fuckin’ time.

I don’t really give a fuck, because I’ve been doing this shit for far too long to really think a sex tape leak is just a played out waste of time, sure I’ll watch the shit, but they have proven to be boring as fuck and unless the celebrity is bouncing off my pathetic dick, I just can’t be bothered, pretty much the same way they can’t be bothered with me.

The reason a lot of these nude pics pop up is because the shit that is a girl who wants to be famous, is usually a fucking insecure, attention craving slut who doesn’t necessarily suck dick to the top, but definitely sucks dick because she likes the attention and does whatever it takes to be the hottest shit with whoever she’s around, whether that’s a porn producer promising her fame, or a boyfriend with a cellphone, or a promoter at a club, or some rich kid she wants to go home with because he promised to bring her to Mexico for Spring Break.

They just want to be on camera….they just want to be seen. It’s some crazy shit and it will lead to some good internet content when it drops.

Posted in:Leighton Meester|Sex Tape