I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

15

May

Lindsay Lohan’s Robber is Not Me of the Day

Lohan’s house was robbed, or her alarm went off, or something that involved the police showing up at her house, only to find it messy, and for some reason the media went nuts about that shit, like being a sloppy fucking slob of a girl is that big of a deal. Pretty much every girl I’ve met has been a fucking pig, they never pick up after themselves and expect me to do all the work, and I am not even talking about my wife, who doesn’t even bother washing and smells of rotting fucking pussy.

Either way, I just wanted to clear up that I wasn’t the guy who tried to break into her house, despite my unrequited love for her, because if I had broken in, I would have done it when she was home and forced her into marriage or at least into letting me jerk off on her dirty panties. True story.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Robber

2009

15

May

Jessica Alba Gets Some Tickets of the Day

Oh Shit. Jessica Alba got 2 parking tickets, one was because her meter was up, the other because she was parked too far away from the curb and guess what, she’s gonna have to pay them. A whole 100 fucking dollars at most to the city, like she can’t fucking afford that shit. Tickets are only fun when they happen to people you don’t like, who are down on their luck, who just lost their job, who have maxed out credit cards and have resorted to food stamps and food drives to survive, when it happens to celebrities, it’s boring, they don’t even get inconvenienced enough to take the shit off the windshield and have hired help take care of it. If we really wanted to get a good laugh at Jessica Alba, in some kind of revenge for ruining her body and sex appeal, it’d have to be more hardcore than a couple tickets, I’m talkin’ hit by a bus,or rushed by a stalker, pretty much anything but this….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Parking Tickets

2009

15

May

Phoebe Price is in Cannes of the Day

I know you don’t care about this bitch, but I accidentally downloaded these pictures of her thinking they were see through, and I never turn down a see through picture, but I was wrong. The truth is that along with Dlisted, I am fascinated with this bitch. Not because of her red pubic hair, a weakness of mine, but because she has never really done anything, but manages to be everywhere, including Cannes. I assume she comes from money and that her trust fund just supports her “acting” career, and I guess none of that really matters.

What does matter is that I was at a fashion show a couple weeks ago for a local college, in efforts of seducing bright eyed young girls into thinking I could help their confused selves find a career now that school was over and they don’t know which way to turn, and I fell in love with a Phoebe Price of my own. Tall, Red and luxurious, but she never answered my Craigslist misconnection, maybe it had to do with the ten bullet points of what I wanted to do with her vagina, but I like blame the Craigslist killer for fuckin’ up my game. Taking responsibility for yourself is a waste of time.

Posted in:Cannes|Phoebe Price

2009

15

May

Jewel’s Threesome of the Day

This is not a very big surprise, not because I pretty much saw it happening the one time I saw Dancing with the Stars, and noticed that Jewel’s rodeo husband was a little uncomfortably into his dancing partner, and that was before they spent hours upon hours pressed up against each other, sweating, pulsating to the beat of the music, his erection in her lycra leotard ass, but because after listening to Jewel’s music, there’s no fucking way she’s not a fucking lesbian. Bitch lived in a car, walked around barefoot, played the accoustic guitar, hugged trees and played with wild animals, you know trying to domesticate them to be her audience before venturing out to LA to make it big. The idea of her being married is more shocking to me than the fact that she’s insisted on adding the dancing partner into their relationship and the whole thing should be motivation for you to marry a dyke.

Posted in:Jewel|Threesome

2009

15

May

Holly Madison in Some Bikini Parade of the Day

Holly Madison is a marketing genius or just a desperate for attention, work, money, exposure or maybe just bored and has a lot of time on her hands.

She hosted the world’s largest pool party, or some bikini parade, or something else that involved average lookin’ chicks getting in bikinis, and accepted the Guinness World Record for it. I guess that’s a great honor for a glorified stripper.

The only record the strippers I know have broken are the standard biggest pussy, most herpes outbreaks in a year, most kids with different fathers, you know shit like that.

I am tired, don’t worry, just warmin’ up.

Posted in:Bikini|Bikini Parade|Holly Madison

2009

15

May

White Power Video of the Day

Here are some words of wisdoms from a white power guy to start your day. I didn’t listen to the whole thing, I find this shit tedious, but I did get to the party where he said he doesn’t have a problem with Mexicans, so I figure we should have a picnic, maybe in a nice park in the middle of the projects…this shit is so uninteresting, uneducated and ridiculous and I’m uneducated, uninteresting and ridiculous, but at least I have know better than to talk out of my ass on video….

I’d rather he post videos of him coming to terms with his homosexuality so that he wouldn’t be so fucking angry. Either way, if you’re out there, let’s do that picnic, I’ll bring a video camera to see how it plays out for you. Idiot.

Posted in:Racist

2009

15

May

stepLINKS of the Day

I drank 6 beers and did a couple shots of tequila the last 2 hours because I thought I had to drive my friend somewhere in his car because he got caught for drinking and driving and I wanted to be sober, but turns out that he doesn’t mind drinking and driving since he’s already been caught and they’ve already taken his license, so there’s not much more they can do to him, and shit is like free reign or someshit, so I get to drink more. This is a glorious day in my life. Let’s hope no kids get run over cuz I can imagine that being a lot of legal bullshit to go through, not that I care, it’s not like I’ll be the one dead or in trouble.

HEre are some stepLINKS…..cuz that’s what I do here. Click them. Or jerk off to them. Or spit at them. I don’t really care. I’m just in the middle of a pure party.

Ps – That is a picture of a girl with a ziploc bag full of pee in her mouth and I don’t fucking get it.

It is Okay To Pay For Help Because Your Own Self Pleasure Can Only Take You So Far
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Star Trek Versus Star Wars
GO

Sing a Song For the Swine Flu
GO

Aisleyne Horgan’s Tit Wants to Say Hello
GO

Janet Jackson’s Hot Pics
GO

Everything is Poison and You Are All Going to Get Sick and Die
GO

Man, Hayden Panty-Airs Really Has a Thing for Old Dudes
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

What the Car You’re Buying Says About You
GO

Holy Fuck This Job and Kate Drama Just Keeps Getting More Twisted
GO

Let’s Play Doctor
GO

Broke Back Tragedy
GO

Striptease of the Day Just Got a Whole Lot Better
GO

Mariah Carey Just Got a Whole Lot Uglier
GO

Kanye West is Way too Sensitive
GO

See Through Catwalk Throwback
GO

Aishwarya Rai is to Die For
GO

And Maxim’s Top Ten Hottest Women Are…
GO

Eminem is Really Going After Mariah Carey and Its Kind of Amazing
GO

Looks Lik Lohan Sucked the Right Dick, Cause Bitch is Going Back to Work
GO

God I Wanna Learn to Surf So Fucking Bad
GO

Ginny Will Take Your Breath Away
GO

Naked Kick to the Nuts – VIDEO
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Ahhhh Alexis Ford
GO

Ozzy Osbourne Would Be Impressed
GO

ITS THE END OF AN ERA!
Craigslist is Shutting Down Their Erotic Services Section
GO

Wanna Rock the Funky Beats?
GO

Mickey Rourkes Got Game!! WHo Knew?
GO

Katie Green is Nude
GO

Lesbian Scene With Class
GO

A Babe in the Shower Always Does the Eyes Good
GO

Best Celebrity Bikini Ass
GO

Air Sex: It’s Like Air Guitar, But Sex
GO

Women Are As Scard of Dildos As Men ARe
GO

How About a Monster Truck Back Flip?
GO

Now THAT’S a King Can
GO

Everything You Will Ever Need to Know About Cock Fights
GO

How About Some Hot Asian Bitches
GO

Kim Kardashian Doesn’t Look Half Bad in All Leather
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

14

May

What the Fuck is Beth Dito of the Day

Beth Dito is exactly what is wrong with society when fat girls are encouraged to embrace their disgustingness and take ownership and pride in who and what they are. It’s a flaw in the Dove commercial that empowers woman about whatever shape or size their body is. It is overcompensation of a disgusting mess girl, taking it to the next level of disgusting, in a way to say fuck you world for not seeing me as someone worth fucking. She’s some kind of lesbian who hangs with black dudes, because black dudes only care if a bitch is white, and don’t really worry if they stink or are repulsive, and here she is partying with her disgusting everything, covering up with a blanket like she should everyday, and the whole thing confuses me.

I guess the inspiration in all this is that if the paparazzi are taking pictures of her, it can’t be that hard to get into the limelight, so this should give all you losers hope.

Posted in:Beth Dito|Upskirt

2009

14

May

We Get it Mariah, You’ve Been Pissed On of the Day

Eminem’s recent cry of attention was saying he peed on Mariah and the whole thing isn’t that unexpected because around the time he was dating her she was crazy, not to mention celebrities are so fucked up because of all the money they have and all the attention they get on a daily basis, they push their sexual boundaries to the next level. I know random people who have fucked celebrities and they’ve all said the same thing, the requests were weird, involved piss and asshole licking request on the first date, and I’d probably do the same thing if I was one too. I mean I’m not even a celebrity and I ask bitches to do some next level weird shit, so I guess I shouldn’t judge Mariah on anyting other than the fact that she’s letting herself go and despite some big ol’ tits, she’s got a big ol’ everything else and there’s no excuse for that.

Posted in:cleavage|Mariah Carey

2009

14

May

Hayden Panettiere Getting in Cars of the Day

When bored, go to the parking lot at stripmall, yoga studio or even grocery store in your local suburb and watch hot mom’s getting in and out of cars.

It may be hit or miss but if you’re in the right spot you can see everything from panties to cameltoe to hot asses and if it gives you a little something to jerk off, then it can’t be all that creepy, unless you can’t wait to jerk off and decide to go at it in your car, right then ant there without realizing that the parking log you’ve gone to is next to a daycare. Sicko.

Here’s Hayden doin’ what some of us enjoy watching girls do.

Posted in:Ass|Hayden Panettiere