DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

25

Mar

Aubrey O’Day Brings the Positive Post of the Day

Everyone says that I am too negative in my posts, that all I do is hate on shit, and that it’s easy to hate on shit, especailly when you do nothing with your life, but maybe I should consider being more encouraging and respectable, because it’s not like I am better than these people, so here’s my attempt at being positive.

Aubrey O’Day is great, she’s really a lot more successful than she ever thought she would be, and all it took was a confidence in herself that didn’t kill her spirits everytime guys just asked her to show some more cleavage, when people had no interest in what she had to say or what she had to offer the world, she took command of that and made it work for her and due to that talent and drive, she got a prestigious cameo in some straight to DVD movie called American High, something far more amazing than webcam videos for random guys for 3 dollars a minute. Good job girl. You look great.

I tried.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Playboy|Positive Post

2009

25

Mar

Hilary Duff Loading The Trunk of the Day

3 Comments »

I spend a good amount of time at the supermarket watching mom’s load their cars up with groceries, not because I can’t afford to get groceries and it is like when people drive through the rich part of town to look at the big houses, but because I like mom’s when their husbands are work.

I like them better when they are into yoga and staying fit, and even better when they are dressed like their teenage daughters in leggings, because I know how well traveled and experienced those mouths and pussies are.

As a guy who likes to fuck with young girls, breaking that mold and getting a real whore who doesn’t cry rape when you test their boundaries, and who doesn’t think facials/doggystyle/anal is being really adventurous is legendary. Especially when their hot daughter is in the other room and their husband is out making money to put that food they just loaded in the car on the table while I stare at their asses.

Unfortunately, the only wife and mother I’m fucking is my wife and she weighs in at 350 pounds.

Here’s Hilary Duff on set of some show bending over the trunk you’d like to throw her in, shut and drive to some abandoned warehouse to have your way with her. Creep.

Posted in:Ass|Hilary Duff|Jeans|Trunk

2009

25

Mar

Entourage and His Ugly Groupie of the Day

11 Comments »

The guy in Entourage was seen leaving a club with some ugly groupie, I hope dude was drunk, because I am sure he could pull better ass than this, but then again, ugly groupies are easier to mistreat because they are just excited about having a guy go home with them in the first place, that when that dude happens to be a guy every girl wants to fuck who is on TV, they’ll go the extra step for him. That said, he’s definitely getting internal anal creampies tonight with no strings attached, if anything he’ll be able to gag her, piss on her and slap her around a bit and she’ll still leave with a smile on her face and when that goes down, I guess it doesn’t really matter how ugly the groupie is because life is about the adventure.

Posted in:Entourage|Groupie

2009

25

Mar

Fantasia Barrino’s Big Ol’ Ass of the Day

5 Comments »

American Apparel pants are made for skinny people, I remember going into one of those stores with my stepdaughter and she thought it would be fun to revamp my style, you know make me come across a little younger and fresher, despite the only thing fresh on me is this scab on my dick that wasn’t there the other day, but that’s not the point, the point is that I put on a hoodie or t-shirt or fuck if I know and shit was an XL but wasn’t getting over my fat ass, but this Fantasia Barrino chick, who has managed to not do shit since her American Idol days, has finally found success squeezing that booty in a pair of leggings and I can hear the threads that make those cheap overpriced pants holding on for their fucking life…..and screamin’ in pain and discomfort from the smell.

Posted in:Ass|Big|Fantasia Barrino|Leggings|Ol'

2009

25

Mar

Audrina’s Vagina Hits Up Australia of the Day

5 Comments »

Audrina brought her ugly face and tight vagina hugging pants to Australia to do some MTV bullshit, because MTV owns her robot ass, and she does everything they fucking tell her to because she doesn’t want to upset the banker. It really is a lot like prostitution, not that anyone ever had higher hopes for this bitch, everyone in her life is just just impressed she hasn’t accidentally killed herself drying her hair in the shower, or drinking draino because some told her it helps you lose weight, and by impressed I mean disappointed….

I got nothing more to say on this bitch. She does even remind me of anything worth saying, I guess just lookin’ at her makes me turn into an idiot….maybe that’s MTV’s plan to run the world by brainwashing us with her….Someone needs to put an end to this shit.

Posted in:Audrina|Spandex|Vagina

2009

25

Mar

Lady Gaga Concert Pictures of the Day

3 Comments »

I find Lady Gaga performing realy uninspiring. Bitch is like some annoying kid at a dinner party who won’t shut the fuck up about how bad she wants to be famous while doing a stupid fucking tap dance that makes you lock the motherfucker in the closet. Her shit is so over-the-top that it’s lame and above all she’s fucking ugly. Bitches like this need to go away, I don’t care how well she sings, she’s fucking useless and should be on bathroom floors ripping lines of coke of some DJs dick and not famous. The world is a shitty place, this is proof.

Posted in:Concert|Lady Gaga

2009

25

Mar

Some Amanda Bynes Ass in Jeans of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Amanda Bynes wearing some pants and not showing off her legs even though they are all she has going for her. I don’t find her interesting so I don’t really know why I am bothering posting this shit. I guess it has to do with having nothing else to do with my day, which I guess I have in common with Amanda Bynes since I don’t think she’s ever really had work.

Speaking of people with no work, Mischa Barton is in Montreal filming some Ashton Kutcher TV show and I want her to take me out for dinner, but no one I know knows her or where she is staying so I guess, my dreams of banging the girl throwing up on herself in Sixth Sense won’t come true, so I have no choice but to just have to keep jerking off to it.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Ass|Jeans

2009

25

Mar

Pharrell Tries to Seduce the McDonald’s Staff to Get Him Food of the Day

7 Comments »

Like I said yesterday, when you are underpaid in a shitty job, like working at a fast food joint, or something equally shitty, you just don’t go above and beyond the call of duty when someone relatively famous comes in, you just ignore the other customers while striking up conversation, hoping motherfucker saves you from the life you are living.

So Pharrell was flying back from some Asian trip and stopped off in France for a layover, ran to a McDonald’s to get some food and they would only serve him breakfast, so he did a song and dance hoping to seduce the girls, because in America, he just has to walk into a fucking place and he’s already got four chicks sucking on his dick, but I guess wasn’t so lucky this time around. I like the ending where he realizes he isn’t getting shit out them and he is about to do a spoiled brat, celebrity tantrum, but the video ends, so I guess we’ll never know what happened, and I am sure you’re pretty upset about that.

Posted in:Food|McDonalds|Pharrell

2009

25

Mar

Alexis Arquette Freaks Me Out of the Day

8 Comments »

I know tranny porn is really fucking popular, you know guys who are desensitized from watching too much regular porn, or guys who are too scared to admit they like dick, flock to the shit, that back when I worked for a porn company, the tranny shit was always the top selling shit. I never quite got it because it’s some freak of nature shit that just leaves me feeling weird.

The idea of jacking your hormones, growing your hair out and living you life as a woman when you were born a man is strange, no matter how open minded you are, shit is some serious chemical imbalance and if I still fuck that fake pussy, despite you lookin the part, I still have to deal with the guilt and confusion of knowing that I fucked something that once had a dick.

Either way, who cares what I think, here’s Alexis Arquette talking about Nicole Richie getting drunk and fucked while pregnant, and despite the whole video scaring me, this bitch seems to have a decent sense of humor, but then again, I guess you’d have no choice if that was the life you chose for yourself….

I am tired, because the life I chose for myself is garbage.

Posted in:Alexis Arquette|Tranny

2009

25

Mar

Death Wish of the Day

7 Comments »

Cunts who feel ironic t-shirts really speak to them and say exactly what they are thinking making it so funny to come across in a store or on some asshole wearing it….DIE.

Posted in:Death Wish|Kim Kardashian