I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

18

Mar

Her Name is Patty Rodriguez and She’s a Cockblock of the Day

Anyone who reads the site knows I have an ongoing joke where I sexually harrass Ryan Seacrest, mainly because of his boyish goodlooks, but also because the man is a fucking beast. On the radio, on TV, on gossip shows, in Simon’s mouth, he’s fucking everywhere, so I figure who better to have a celebrity crush on, even though I am not into penis.

I finally got in touch with one of his producers, Patty and she turned down a very serious request I had for Seacrest. The whole thing is devastating.

Hey Patty, I hear you’re Ryan Seacrest (GOD)’s producer.

I am…One of them, yes

Is it possible for you to get your hands on some of his dirty underwear, I feel like it’ll really save my soul. You know sneak into his house or dressing room and find me a pair that I will put over my face and breathe in deeply, as his magic enters my bloodstream…

Why do you call him God? I dont think “God” has dirty underwear, that will be impossible

I call him God because he is a fucking robot and gift to the fucking world…so is that a no?

that’s a no

what are you wearing right now…look down…can you describe you vagina in 10 words or less?

Cunt.

Posted in:Cockblock|Patty Rodriguez

2009

18

Mar

Belladonna’s Crib of the Day

I am not that into porn, sure I like watching girls fuck and suck dick like any other guy, but I find anything produced to be boring, repetitive, hard to get into and impossible to get off to. Mabe I don’t have a solid attention span, maybe I am desensitized, who the fuck knows.

I do know who Belladonna is, she’s a fucking legend, she pushes the boundaries and someone that pretty much everyone I know was in love with at some point or another over the years. There’s something really sweet about her, she’s one of those mormon’s turned bad, very fuckin’ bad, if you’re familiar with any of her work.

The highlight of the video is when she shows you what 10 years of anal sex does to you. Something you’ll be able to relate to when you admit you’re gay.

Part 2

Part 3

Posted in:Belladonna|Cribs|Video

2009

17

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

It is St Patrick’s Day, and despite hating celebrations, festive people, holidays, or pretty much any group activity, because I am a miserable cynic, people are out getting drunk and crazy and I’m not, which is about to change now, because for once I don’t have to get drunk alone and that’s something to take advantage of, even if all the people you’re drinking with are ugly chicks and assholes wearing green acting like cunts.

Here are some links to keep you entertained….

Pretend to Fuck These Chicks Because Fantasy is almost real when you’re a lonely psycho…
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Guy Ritchie is Putting His Penis Somewhere Proper For a Change
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Hugh Jackman Was on a TV Show From Japan, And You Can Only Imagine What Happened
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Close Up Of Katy Perry’s Tits
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Danielle Lloyd and Her Polka Dot Tits
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Full Frontal Firing
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Obama’s Puppy is a Terrorist!!
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Facedown/Assup University
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Okay, This is the Weirdest Fucking Thing I Saw All Day
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Striptease of the Day
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How to Kill a Penis in Under 30 Seconds
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DJ AM’s Sense of Entitlement is Ridiculous
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Brooke Hogan Works The Pole
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Monica Cruz Panty Upskirt
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Six Angy Models…
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Eliza Dushku is My Tuesday Fantasy
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For Fuck Sakes Michael Jackson Wants to Get More Plastic surgery?
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Ahhhh, So Prince Harry IS a Homo
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Anna Faris Video Shoot for GQ
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There is No Fucking Way Carson Daly is Not on Drugs
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Suni Leone and Aria Giovanni Get It On
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Hey You Dirty Slut, There’s Something Hanging Out of Your Pussy
(No This Isn;t the Britney Video)
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Gun Shooting 101
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Sandi is All You Desire
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Lotion + Boobs
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How About Some Puma Suede?
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A Hand Bra is the Best Bra of All
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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A Hair Growth Experiment
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Diane Kruger Hotness
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Pink is a Topless Man
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Cathy Is To Die For
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Kulia Roberts is Looking Bangable Lately
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Aubrey O’Day Whoredom
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Ahhh To Be in the Russian Airforce
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FUCK THIS RETARD….
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Stephanie Strong is a Playboy Hottie
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Lieschen Botes is Definitely a Babe I Would Stick My Penis Into
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Tupac’s Mom Is Coming Out Swinging!
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Now That’s a Nice Gape!
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Hot Half Naked Girls
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Find Me on Other Parts of the Internet….


I need 100,000 followers, my life depends on it, tell your friends. Save me.

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

17

Mar

Holly Madison and her Stripper Quickstep of the Day

I assume this girl was a stripper, but not like the down on her luck professionally trained dancer who couldn’t get work throughout her 20s, crashed, got depressed and started doing drugs to make her feel better, eventually getting way too into debt and decided to start stripping to get out of her mess, only to choreograph these emotional trainwreck performances that are way too heavy for a fucking stripclub, you know with leg kicks, and on their knees hair pulling and tears and shit, because it makes them feel like they aren’t selling themselves out as whores, but that this is a fucking art. Well, I don’t get the same vibe from Holly Madison on DWTS, she lacks substance, and here she is doing a quickstep.

Posted in:Holly Madison|Quickstep

2009

17

Mar

Faye Dunaway is a Monster of the Day

When I first saw these pictures of Faye Dunaway, I couldn’t place who the fuck she was, mainly because I was distracted by how much she looks like a fucking corpse, or burn victim, or that guy with a fake face , or I guess really anyone who tried fighting aging by getting experimental acid peels and too much plastic surgery that left her lookin like something out of a comic book, you know weird ears, tightly pulled face and massive nostrils.

Since you lost your virginity reading a comic book, I figured I’d put this up and give you something you can actually relate to, and by relate I mean cum.

Posted in:Faye Dunaway|Monster

2009

17

Mar

Natasha Richardson Brain Dead of the Day

I know this is my second post on Natasha Richardson, but I was at Mont Tremblant on Sunday hustlin with some dude pimpin St Patrick’s day, who’s dog had a hat, so I feel like it hits close to home.

Sure I don’t have any inside information other than when I was there the hills were sheer fucking ice all over the place and that if you hit your head hard enough on it, shit can hemorrhage and make you brain dead an hour after the incident, I guess. My contact with some pot dealer who hooked my up that works at the ski school there isn’t answering my texts, so I’ll just go with the NY Post story.

They say she is brain dead and heading home to NYC for her Family to say goodbye to her before being taken off life support and as Neeson’s producers on the movie he’s filming cringe at the thought of all the money they are about to lose since his life is shattered, the rest of the world is feeling his pain. What a shitty thing to have happen.

This post is to say that my home has killed one of yours Hollywood, and I feel responsible for it, if I had my say it would have been one of the useless sluts who pollutes the world and not a low key actress with kids.

It is also to say that I have hit my head, I have been hit in the head, I have had car accidents where I hit my head, I have passed the fuck out from hitting my head, fuckin’ weird fluid has poured out of my nose from hitting my head, and I never became brain dead an hour after the incident, but I am going to start wearing a helmet everywhere i go.


Here’s the sad news from NY POST, I know this is too sensitive from me, but I find it all very sad…
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Here’s a picture of the dog with a hat on from Sunday. I know. I couldn’t believe it either. I wish I had a camera with me at all times. You wouldn’t believe the other shit I see.

Bonus my friend just sent me a video of some asshole skiing, who probably deserved to be the one brought off the hill on a stretcher, but obviously already being brain dead or at least brain dead enought to manage lookin’ this stupid and not caring….

Posted in:Brain Dead|Natasha Richardson

2009

17

Mar

Miley Cyrus Rubbin’ Down Her Mom of the Day

The last time I was at a stripclub, I sat next to a father/son duo. They were wasted and talking about how they were in town for the weekend for some sort of bonding trip and every girl who got on stage they cheered at them like they were watching the fucking superbowl or something. At one point old man gets into one of the uglier strippers, puts a 20 in his mouth and lays down on stage, and the fat stripper rides his face for a minute, takes the money and the guy goes to sit back down only to have his son high fiving him and laughing and screaming like a fucking asshole. He was saying shit like “I bet mom never does that to you” and “I bet mom’s pussy isn’t that tight” and “I bet you could taste that sweet little asshole” and the whole thing made me feel uncomfortable.

Seeing Miley whoring out on her mom’s back, is a lot less weird.

Here she is dropping the paparzzi’s iphone

Posted in:Lesbian|Miley Cyrus|Rub Down

2009

17

Mar

Amber Rose Talks About What She Likes In Bed of the Day

Kanye’s girlfriend had a fucking weird interview that works because a chick interviews her so it seems less threatening. If I was to ask these questions, I’d get slapped. She says she likes eating pussy, she says she never had a threesome, she says she’s had sex on her period, she says she’s fully waxed and doesn’t bleed, she says she’s never had anal and is a virgin in my ass, she says she played with herself before she showed up at the radio show, she says cum inside me, she fakes orgasms, this is some crazy shit.

It’s some pretty heavy shit that I don’t know I’d want my wife talking about, but that’s just because my wife and sex don’t work too right…

Watch the video.

Posted in:Amber Rose|Lesbian

2009

17

Mar

Amy Winehouse Tits Go to Court of the Day

My grandma always used to say, you don’t get lap dances from faces so when a homely lookin’ bitch comes your way and strikes up conversation with you about what your name is, if it is my first time in the place, if I am from the city, if I like the show or if I’m having a good time, missing teeth with wonky eyes, acne and a weak chin, take a step back and look at her tits because that’s what is gonna be in your motherfucking hands in 5 minutes, so I’ve tried to carry that attitude thru life in having no standards…

That said, I was walking down the street at 5 in the morning and ran into some crackhead, almost as tight bodied as Amy Winehouse, but dressed way more fucking crazy. I am talking like a fucking juggling clown, with a haggard face, on her way to the fucking carnival, with strappy shit, and knee high socks and a top hat, and the whole thing was fucking surreal, until she pulled out her vagina and it was the hairiest fucking thing I ever saw, but could make out her grey labia out of the fuzzy pillow, and I had to walk it out because I was laughing too hard to try to fuck her.

Either way, Amy Winehouse is looking pretty fucking amazing at court, her tits look solid and sure she’s not pretty, but she healthy and showered, which just goes to show you, drugs aren’t as bad as they say they are, especially considering that drugs are the reason I saw dirty pussy last night.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Tits

2009

17

Mar

Rebecca Romijn Stamos and Her Mom Tits of the Day

You know when a girl dates a guy she used to fantasize about when she used to watch TGIF on ABC, then marries a guy she used to fantasize about when she used to watch TGIF on ABC, and brands herself by that guy she used to fantasize about when she used to watch TGIF on ABC, and everyone in the world is shocked that someone so hot would end up with someone so useless, and I’m not talking about Stamos being the hot one ladies, get your slut heads out of the gutter and onto my dick, it makes living it down impossible, so despite letting My Secret Identity cock in her long enough for shit to stick and make babies, he’ll never be Stamos.

Not that any of that really matters, what does is her big full tits and the fact that babies may ruin bodies but turn me on because I know slut doesn’t use condoms.

Posted in:Baby|Mom Tits|Rebecca Romijm Stamos