DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

13

Jul

Workout Wednesday of the Day

Ladies….Stay Fit, otherwise you’ll rot, and even if people fuck you when you’re fat and disgusting, doesn’t mean they really want to or that you were top choice…..

Better, more superficial people will fuck you when you’re fit which means you can probably land a good job or lifestyle because of it…

You won’t go through life needing two seats on the bus, being unable to walk up stairs without being winded, being unable to get off the couch without being winded, even when inspired and motivated by the cake in the fridge…..you know fat person depressing shit.

You won’t die prematurely by preventable things…..

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY…..you won’t be a fat fuck…..

These are fitness girls to inspire ladies to stay fit, so fat fucks like us can worry about getting rich, so that you’ll fuck us. DEAL.

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Posted in:Workout

2022

13

Jul

Noah Cyrus Tits of the Day

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Noah Cyrus is Miley’s sister who doesn’t run an only fans to monetize off her fame….

With the younger sister complex that you know the family overcompensated for with affirmations, and despite their lives being better because of who their sisters are, they still feel inadequate in comparison, in all circumstances, they’ll never be the star in the eyes of the people and that may not matter, but it matters…even when the sister is hotter or more talented…they’ll never be the star….so it’s important to give them attention while they are asking for it with their tits…..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:noah cyrus

2022

13

Jul

Pussy Wedgie Wednesday of the Day

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Pussy Wedgies are the kind of wedgies that make me wish I was a pair of tight pants too small….so that I could spend the better part of my day being queefed on while a drippy ass pussy, all suffocated under my gripping fabric, starts to suck me up like an ardvaark….or is it an ant eater….apparently not the same animal…

I want my mouth to be the crotch of these pants, you know to give me something to do, because when it comes to pussy wedgies, you gotta wonder if the pant is the pervert doing the riding up, or if the grippy pussy is the vaccuum sucking it up….it’s a chicken or egg quesetion.

I guess the other kinds of wedgies are more on the leaving shit stains on the pant kid and since a dirty ass just isn’t as appealing to ride up as a walking fat pussy….but I guess both work for the pervert who has to go to bed tonight knowing he will never be a pair of tight wedgie producing garments….BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD of figuring out “WHAT AM I”…

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Posted in:Pussy Wedgie

2022

13

Jul

Rainsford Bikini Nips of the Day

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Funny enough, I have a celebrity child fetish, so it’s pretty weird that I am not married to some bootleg celebrity’s kid, you know to feed that fetish, in which case I’d probably lose my celebrity spawn fetish, like I lost my French Canadian fetish with my wife….you know, it’s like working at an ice cream shop for 20 years, the ICE cream just doesn’t taste right, and even curdles your damn stomach.

Anyway, having a celeb spawn fetish, I am into this Rainsford, who was apparently raised in ASHVILLE before it became a hipster hot spot of lameness that I am sure it is today, leave up to the hip to turn Smoky Mountain hillbilly towns sour, like I know what I am talking about….I’ve never been and I am sure it is far better than here, but then again, I like that part of the world and country music….so whatever..

Anyway, I don’t know what Rainsford does, I think she sings….or maybe acts like her more famous acting sister…

Anyway, they are Andie Macdowell’s daughter’s small titties spilling out of her bikini on her beach vacation….

Anyway……

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rainey Qualley

2022

13

Jul

Weight Watcher Wednesday of the Day

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No Fat Chicks ALLOWED is the general rule around here, but I like to have a fat girl post to show to the haters how inclusive I am, like a TV producer putting a black, asian, latin, mexican, native, transgender, gay, lesbian, incel, so long as it is non white it is ok, in their stories….so that you have some weird ass group of friends who look like the getalong gang of rejects…..not to say people of all backgrounds don’t hang out, but when put together in hollywood in a way that is so fake and gay, and is strictly virtue signalling….it’s pretty obvious, hilarious and THE SAME REASON I post this….like FAT chicks are hot when getting naked, I AM NOT THAT GUY, if anything, it’s comedy to me….especially now that the 4 am drunk fatties you once called to fuck cuz they’d show up…think they are valid super model types thanks to BODY POSITIVITY…and nerds over hyping them up….NERDS….RUIN….EVERYTHING…..just ask GATES.

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Posted in:Fatty

2022

13

Jul

Sarah Hyland and Vanessa Hudgens Look Better Photoshopped of the Day

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In this era of NOTHING IS REAL….even the celebs you jack off to are a fucked up edited version of themselves, like a boardwalk caricature level of authentic being passed off as authentic, so that creepers like Sarah Hyland, who I have consistently felt was a birth defect, genetic fuck up, with weak or light case of Primordial Dwarfism, which happens to be one of the saddest disabilities to have, and I actual feel terrible when seeing those little helpless aged kids, but when it’s a celebrity bitch who has a small dose of the shit, I feel nothing but contempt…

Anyway, Hyland is marrying some opportunistic gay dude who is straight for pay, Hudgens is her DISNEY SISTER and BFF, they have labeled themselves as BRIDE and BRIDESMAID because they want to be the leaders of obnoxious white girls of instagram, throw in some wine and we’ve got the TRIFECTA of mid 30 year old white girls being cheesy as fuck….

But they are in their ONE PIECES, so we gotta look, and you’d probably still fuck either or both, at the same time, or as a CUM TRIBUTE for reddit, since that’s as close as you’ll get to them….and i still think HUDGENS is hot, despite her midget wrestler body, and if I have to look at Hyland to see that neckless bull dog with her suit up her cunt, I can handle it….I’ve jerked off to worse.

TO SEE THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|Vanessa Hudgens

2022

13

Jul

Weed Wednesday of the Day

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Weed girls are not all dumpster fire pigs who look like they smoke weed to get through life because life has been unfair to them….not all weed girls are sloppy ass, lazy ass, bitches who get nothing done besides snacking all day…..but a lot of them are.

I am all for girls who smoke weed, or really anyone who smokes weeds, since I am into holistic medicine after seeing how fucking crazy BIG PHARMA is, and realize that if smoking weed gets you through it, if it makes your life better, it is a fuck of a lot better than being on SSRIs they prescribe to everyone to turn them into mindless shills…

We are all depressed, life sucks, humanity sucks, being motivated to live is for a small group of people will somehting to prove, so you might as well turn the chill on with a plant that you can grow with zero to no effort, especially when it was marketed as being the gateway to so many bad things in the propaganda against it, when really it’s probably just a gateway to sitting on the damn couch and not hating your life for it.

All this to say, DrunkenStepfather is SMOKED OUT stepfather…..at least for the sake of lookig at slutty self produced content of girls who think WEED makes for an ideal nude model prop.

I am into it.

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Posted in:Weed

2022

13

Jul

Sasha Pieterse’s Nips of the Day

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Sasha Pieterse is some South African actress that I’ve never heard of…but she has millions of followers so she either matters in a big way, or she has millions of fake followers that brands would probably still pay her to post them, because everything is a FUcKING LIE man…

Since I don’t know who Sasha Pieterse is and she’s showing tit, I figure it’s my RESPONSIBILITY to you, DEAR READER, to do a deep dig and find you some exclusive info on her….

MAYBE, I need to do a 10 Things you NEED to Know about Sasha Pieterse…

Or maybe I’ll call it 10 Things YOU didn’t know about Sasha Pieterse…but were too lazy to google because you don’t know who the fuck Sasha Pieterse is.

Here we go…

1- Born in South Africa, white and probably racist 26 years ago.

2- Human Trafficed to Las Vegas at 5 years old…..probably by her parents….

3- her parents were professional acrobats….so what better way to make actual money that to sell your daughter.

4- who the fuck is a professional acrobat…..

5- She was the face of SUPERCUTS at 4 years old…..

6- I hope you didn’t know she was the face of SUPERCUTS at 5 years old….

7 – She eventually got cast in the huge show PRETTY LITTLE LIARS at the time Instagream was just starting up, so we call that her lottery win….

8- She sings souther rock…..makes cookbooks and recently made a baby.

9- Her ovaries are broken and cause her weight FLUCTUATIONS….

10 – She’s showing nupple….and big 26 year old mom with broken ovary that cause weight gain TITS.

Now, make this post viral….I JUST CLICKBAITED…

Posted in:Sasha Pieterse

2022

13

Jul

Sabrina Carpenter Upskirt of the Day

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THIS IS NOT AN UPSKIRT…and I do not know who the fuck Sabrina Carpenter is, but I wouldn’t mind if she was an actual Carpenter and came out to build me a fucking Tinyhouse to live in like they are trying to convince us is the best way to live…just downsize, live in an amazon box like a homeless person, work like a slave all your life to have nothing to show for it, or the ability to take a shit without being in the kitchen, bedroom and living room at the same time, look how cool it is, all these babes on YOUTUBE do it, they even take time to get into a bikini in each episode to ensure you know their lives are better than yours…..YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND BE HAPPY…..YOU WILL LIVE IN PODS AND EAT BUGS…..YOU WILL SHARE A COMMUNITY EV THAT YOU CAN USE once a month if your SOCIAL CREDIT BASED ON YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT ALINGS…..and DO NOT speak out against the man….or the regime because they will dispose of you….

I do remember that the song “IF I was a Carpenter” was my intro to Johnny Cash as a kid, so I have a fond place in my heart for Carpenters, even those owned by Disney….

I do have a fond place in my heart for upskirts too, and I’ve actually come face to face with UPSKIRTS of this level in the last 3 weeks about 5 times….one was a biker, one was a picnic girl on a date, one was a girl on a park bench…..and in EVERY case, I MISSED the actual upskirt, and only got to the gateway of the upskirt, because my creeping wasn’t creepy enough…..and the thing with upskirts is that when you miss them, they are gone forever….and clearly we’ve missed this one….but I’ll post it anyway since it almost happened and her fanbase is huge so maybe one will end up here and help me go viral for the first time in 15 years…..I NEED IT.