Here are some pictures of Helen Mirren proving that the one piece bathing suits aren’t just for fat insecure 12 year old girls at the public pool, but also work out pretty nicely for menopausal, busty, older actresses. So I guess you’re never too old to cover up that sloppy body while still managing to turn me on. It could be my fever talking but I like to think it’s got more to do with those tits. What I would do to change that diaper….
Here are Charlize Theron’s tits in a movie called The Burning Plain. I’ve seen this bitch in Playboy in ’99, when she was in her prime physically and before she really broke into the Hollywood scene, you know, when she was more desperate for attention and to be seen, which is always a hotter context to see tits in than watching her try to hang onto the glory she had by getting naked in a movie…but then again, seeing tits is never really a bad thing…so here’s the shitty screepcap.
I don’t know anything about this guy Ne-Yo, but I have seen him on some award shows and in some Rihanna videos and my stepdaughter seems to think he’s some kind of talented songwriter and performer and I guess so does the rest of the world, cuz dude is making ridiculous bank, fucking ridiculously good quality pussy, and totally manipulating the music industry into thinking he’s some kind of it person, but it’s always nice to see where people come from before they were famous, and here’s Ne-Yo as Go Go with some gold hair in some Boys to Men rip off band, and the whole thing is fuckin’ jokes because they sound like shit and if I saw these guys performing at my local strip mall, I would probably never expect one of them to be the biggest thing in pop music and that’s probably why I am a not a rich record excutive, but instead, I am a man who hasn’t had a solid shit in 48 hours…I guess this is a never give up no matter how hard you suck motivational video…of the day…
There are at least 15 of these asian manicure places around the shithole I call home. I could never figure out why the Asians were so into this manicure business and why no other culture owned these sexy nails type stores. This one time, I walked in asking if it was a full service pedicure, you know one with a happy ending and the little Asian women looked at me like they didn’t know what the fuck I was talking about, but before I could run away like a stupid high school kid doing a stupid prank at the drive thru window, they’d circle me and try to walk me into their special massage room and next thing I know, I’m getting jerked off for 40 dollars by these little asian hands and that is when I figured out that this pedicure business was actually a handjob front so I wasn’t surprised to see this Asian pedicure shit isn’t something exclusive to my city and was even less surprised to see a pregnant Jennifer Garner running to the back room, escorted by ten little Asians, to get rubbed off…how naughty….
This is the first time in 4 years that I wasn’t able to post because of sickness, I think that’s a pretty good track record considering I am unhealthy as fuck. I am hoping to bring the site back tomorrow, but after today, I should really find a back up person to have my back for when I am bed-ridden for 23 of the last 24 hours. I haven’t died yet, I haven’t gone to the doctor, but for those of you who hate me, keep praying……it is bound to happen eventually.
I managed to get some stepLINKS….here they are – click them….
Rockabilly Pin-up Alternative Model Fat Chicks are probably not getitng out of bed today, mourning the soon to be loss of their idol, the God of their movement, the girl who inspired them to wear Corets, Vintage Lingerie and cut their bangs short and stupid, the one and only Bettie Page, who up until today, I thought was already dead, is about to die.
I am kinda upset that she is still alive and that I was wrong in thinking that she was already dead because a few years ago, I went through a phase where I’d only jerk off to nude pics of dead chicks, because some crazy part of me thought their spirit would be watching and that I wouldn’t be jerking off alone. I spent a solid 2 months on this kick and occassionally was jerking off to what I thought was a Betty Page’s dead pussy when it was in it’s 1950s prime, when I was really jerking off to some alive and well grandmother’s not quite dead pussy when it was in it’s prime and her spirit wasn’t in the room with me, but in some retirement community playing shuffle board. I feel like the 3 orgasms I’ve had over this bitch, thinking I was being all naughty with her and shit, were lies and I can’t get them back.
I hate you Bettie Page for robbing me of those orgasms, you were dead to me long ago, but here’s an R.I.P. motherfucker in advance.
I guess she deserves some thanks for being the leader of girls getting naked for money and without her being there willing to sacrifice her dignity for male attention and money, who knows what other slut of her time would have stepped in to lead the way. I guess we’d need Bill and Ted to figure that out and should appreciate her efforts to in innovating porn.
Here are some videos of her hot 1950s tits and remember you’ve always got Dita Von Teese’s shitty Betty Page Impersonation anytime you want to reconnect.
To answer the one person who emailed me asking if I snuck back on facebook, I did and this is my profile that I barely use, you should ad me, I’d like 5,000 friends. I expect to close in somewhere around 2.
The economy is shit, I thought about drinking and watching Christmas movies, but decided to research to best ways to kill myself, not that I am going to do it, but I figure if I need a quick out, I should be prepared. I am just joking, I’d rather keep annoying you especially with massive lists of links and here’s one for the weekend…..
What do you bet that this viral video was made by Jews trying to be funny? Too bad she can’t sing, but I bet her Bubby Thinks She’s Amazing and Has Told Her That Repeatedly….
Watch Kardinal’s New Video Nina With Some Jamaican Slut Dancing
And to warm your lonely heart…Here’s a Video of a Dog Saving Another Dog…. GO
Remember when Kylie Minogue had breast cancer? So do I and I guess that’s the reason she’s wearing a see through skirt, because let’s face it, a see through shirt showing off her tattooed post cancerous nipples would be hard to jerk off to, at least that’s what every husband of a breast cancer survivor I’ve ever met has told me. Sure, I have sympathy, cancer’s some fucked up shit that no one should go through and if they are lucky enough to survive, they should go on to live normal lives, but that doesn’t mean I wanna have a play date with the fuckin’ scars. I just call it having standards, even though we all know that I don’t.
I think I may be the only guy who has no interest in Marisa Miller. She looks old and haggard, like an ex-stripper who used to work part time at a tanning salon and spent the rest of her time lifting weights. There’s just something that I don’t find appealing about fake tits and rock hard muscular bodies, it’s just too manly for me and brings back memories I don’t necessarily want brought back, like the time I was making out with a “chick” at the bar and realized her rock hard abs were the least of my concerns when I felt her rock hard cock digging into my leg. Times were tough, so I took what I could get, it doesn’t make me gay, it just makes me desperate and I’d tell you not to judge, but realize I don’t really care what you think about me, because you’re the kind of guy who buys into the Victoria’s Secret stamp of approval and I don’t know how straight taking advice as to what is hot pussy and what is not so hot pussy from a fucking panty company. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think she’s disgusting. I do know she’s better than most girls but I’m ready for new blood pumped into this Victoria’s Secret thing, preferably period blood that still shocks the model’s because they’ve only had their perido for around for 4 years, letting Marisa Miller pursue other ventures, like being the trashy blonde motorcycle slag for a beer company or Harley. I guess based on these pics, we’re halfway there motherfuckers.
Here’s up and coming, lesbian in training, Annalynne McCord wearing a pair of fancy pantyhose. They are substantially nicer than the support-hose I used to sell old ladies when I worked in a pharmacy, but they aren’t as hot as the time one of the support-hose ladies asked me for a 3 gallon douche, because her old support-hose pussy was just that big. Unfortunately for her, the store I worked at didn’t stock industrial sized vaginal douches, but I convinced her to just buy 4 of the regular ones. I like to think of that being the day I was officially named a local hero, but for a solid 3 weeks after the incident, every time I tried to fuck one of the stinky whores I was fucking, I’d get flashbacks of this wholesome granny, and her desperate need to cleanse, and instead of fucking, I just wanted to wrap myself in a blanket and have bedtime stories read to me.
The point of this is to say, I’m really not into this dyke, she reminds me of a fuckin’ clown at the Jew carnival, and I predict her fame will end with the shitty prime time soap opera spin off I am hoping no one watches, but don’t know for sure because I haven’t been allowed back to the high school cafeteria I used to get my lunch at, when the staff realized I wasn’t there councilling troubled kids, or working for the janitor, but was in fact staring at perky tits…and that concludes this life changing post.