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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

Oct

Zac Effron Pretending He’s Straight With Vanessa Hudgens of the Day

2 Comments »

You gotta give Zac Effron some credit for not slippin’ up on his sexuality and staying pretty loyal to Vanessa Hudgens, despite the fact that we all know he is contractually obliged to and we also all know that if he was gay, shit would be over for him, because Disney hates homos, but it’s still nice to see.

I mean, I know gay people and I even like gay people and support what they do in the privacy of their own home. I don’t think they are the sinners that God and republicans think they are, but I do know they are more popular than ever and every time I leave the house I see at least one of them prancing around, acting like a bunch of girls, checking out dudes who aren’t me and even holding hands or making out with each other an the whole thing is fucking awkward.

Just last night at a bar, there were two guys grinding like Jamaican prostitutes on a tourist’s jock and at the end of the night I saw them making out for a solid 30 minutes in the corner, only to accidentally end up in the bathroom with them, knowing what they were up to, almost unable to pee because it was like being in a room full of girls judging me.

So this Effron dude deserves some credit for repressing that shit like he’s supposed to and should be a model Gay for the gays out there, because some of us straight people are a little tired of your song and dance and homosexuality prance. We get it you like ass and dick, you don’t have to cause a fucking scene about it.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Oct

Hugh Hefner’s New Shannon Twin Girlfriends are Criminals of the Day

2 Comments »

Hugh Hefner kicked out the old spokeswomen for Playboy Girlfriends because their contract was up and he’s in with the new. His new “girlfriends” who are pretty much nothing more than girls who go to events with him andd live in the Playboy mansion to help market the brand and probably don’t have sex with him, but could if he really wanted them to, because he pretty much picked them up at a bus station and they had no money, food or place to go because he saw the potential that two hot blondie twins would have for his business, especially if he pretended to be in a relationship with them, since fucking twins is the ultimate cliche male fantasy, that works perfect for his brand.

Their names are Kristina and Karissa Shannon and who really cares, dude’s in his 80s and is living the fuckin’ dream, whether the girls are nothing more than a set of desperate sluts with daddy issues or not, really makes no difference, because they are profiting off him as much as he is profiting off them, so it’s all fair in the end…which is the same logic I used to use everytime I paid 20 dollars for a blowjob off a drug addicted street whore. Life is all about the trade-off and now these Shannon Twins are pretty much famous….

It turns out that these poor, desperate sluts from Florida are in fact criminals, leading me to believe that unlike working at a bank, the background check at Playboy is based solely on your tits. this is the story……

We just talked to a relative of one of the victims and here’s what they tell us went down. The twins went out after work with one of their Wing House co-workers, Erica Civello, to a house party. Kristina allegedly started arguing with Erica, and Karissa came up behind her and hit Erica over the head with a bottle of beer and they both “jumped her.” Erica suffered a concussion. TMZ

I stopped reading the quote at “after work with one of their Wing House co-workers” because that just re-affirmed my opinion on trashy sluts from Florida being fucking perfect, the only thing that would have made this story better would have been if they were cashiers at Wal Mart because that’s just the kind of girl I dumb and desperate enought believe me when I pretend I’m going to give them everything they want in exchange for sex, not like those self respecting educated girls with careers who take themselves to seriously and catch onto my lies and here are some pictures of them naked….

Posted in:Criminals|Hugh Hefner|Shannon Twins

2008

Oct

Roseanne Barr’s Got a Sex Tape of the Day

2 Comments »

I know – bad joke, but it was funny to me… for about a second, .but not as funny as the fact that this story is actually true and not some really sick joke on us.

…on her website, roseanneworld.com , she storms: “One of the interns who was administering my MySpace page has been fired. He has stolen my private sex tape.

“I am offering $25,000 for its return, unless someone would like to distribute it – then I am willing to deal.”

When I did the interview with Maxim Magazine last year, they asked me what celebrity sex tape would be the ultimate. The one that would let me hang my typing gloves up for good and never visit the site again because there’s never going to be a story as amazing as that one. I was caught off guard and all I could think of was a Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr sex tape called “The Thorns Within the Petals of the Roses” or something like that. That means that if the other person in the Roseanne Sex Tape is Rosie O’Donnell, I’ll have to bid you all a good fuckin’ night for good, because I am a man of my word at least 40 percent of the time.

All I know is the thought of Roseanne getting fucked is about as hot as thinking of my wife getting fucked, which is not very hot at all, but I still want to watch this video over and over again at various speeds to get the full effect. I doubt you’ll be able to see much, considering how far away the camera would have to be to get all of her in the shot and the real tragedy in all this is that it didn’t surface back in the 90s when she was substantially fatter and uglier in the sitcom days, I figure if we’re going to put ourselves through this kind of abuse, we might as well get the full fucking punch to the groin in sheer disgust.

Read the story by clicking the links Roseanne Barr’s Sex Tape Scandal

Posted in:Roseanne Barr|Sex Tape

2008

Oct

Some College Girl Grinding a 7 Year Old of the Day

2 Comments »

When I was 7, I didn’t have babysitters, but I was just left alone to fend for myself for days at a time, but if I did have babysitters, I would have wanted to be like this slut, who drops her pants and teaches me how to grind like I was up in the club. Maybe that way I would have been better prepared last night when 2 girls decided to stick their asses up on me and all I could do was shove my hands right down their pants to finger them, assuming that’s what they wanted, when all they really wanted to do was dance. It would have saved a lot of headaches after they ran up to the guys they were with and told them how I went for the gold and that seemed to really piss them all off. You’d think they would have appreciated my opinion on how they should trim their bushes a little more, if not shave them bald, if they’re going to head out to a dive bar and let dudes stick their hands down their pants or even kick back and let me finish the job I set out to do, instead of being frigid prudes about it. I guess my fingers aren’t nearly as magical as I like to think they are….Watch the video.

Posted in:College Girl|Grind

2008

Oct

Katy Perry Jumps of the Day

2 Comments »

I was so excited when I first saw these pictures, becasue I was convinced for just a short second that Katy Perry was doing us all a favor and offing herself, but it turns out the cunt was just jumping into a boat and not to her fiery death like she was DJ AM. It’s a sad day today for that poor boat that had to withstand that kind of impact, but not as sad of a day as it is for her underwear and clothes that despite how hard they are trying to conceal her period bloat caused by an addiction to fried foods, they just aren’t able to fight it. The fuckers got beat and so should Katy Perry’s record producers for raping my soul everyday like they were Facebook.

Posted in:Jumping|Katy Perry

2008

Oct

Audrina Is Just Not Hot Enough To Be This Famous of the Day

1 Comment »

Audrina makes or made 35,000 dollars per episode of The Hills she was on, she may even make more than that now and she doesn’t deserve it according to me. Most fake titty retarded girls I know, make 10 dollars a song and are lucky to walk out of the club with 1000 dollars a week, and they get naked for that, while Audrina just stands around lookin’ like a fucking idiot. I know saying she should strip is standard and nothing new, but I don’t even think she’s got what it takes to do that. She is that talentless, and the only skill she had was having a family member or friend with a hook up who gave her the fuckin’ handout. I don’t like that she’s even being talked about or doing something people are patting her on the fucking back for, or interviewing her, because she just offer us with absolutely nothing and if anything she is just someone to make us feel better about ourselves. I am sure her parents are proud because the only hope they had for her was to marry an old Jewish Doctor with no standards and a big ol’ nose, because they go for that kind of thing.

Speaking of Jewish doctors, I was at a bar last night and some dude was walking around with his stethoscope. It turned out he was a med student and it was his way of seducing girls, because doctors have a god complex and think we are all impressed that they are studying medicine. I thought that was some pretty weak game, but it fuckin’ worked, within 20 minutes of getting in the place, he was checking girls vitals and running gynecological exams in the bathroom, when I pulled him aside, to ask him if he was legit, he laughed and said that it was all a joke that was working out pretty fucking well.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Ugly

2008

Oct

Gisele In a Music VIdeo of the Day

3 Comments »

This is a video of Gisele on set from some music video for a song that seems like it fucking sucks and reminds me of yesterday morning, when I had my alarm set for noon, so that I could update the site, and fuckin’ Nickelback happened to be the song playing, leading to me wishing that I died in my sleep so that I wouldn’t have had to subject myself to that, and I figure it’s better than dying of a terminal illness a couple years down the road, because let’s face it, that’s pretty much where I am heading…

Anyway, I don’t understand why people feel the need to yell at Gisele about buying Puppy Mill Puppies from the pet store, while she’s working on set of a shitty music video, but they also yelled at her to not wear fur. Do these motherfuckers have absolutely nothing better to do with their time. Don’t they have jobs? Or is their job to search the streets of LA for celebrities to yell their insane messages to, thinking they are doing their part by being heard by people with power, without realizing that someone like Gisele isn’t listening to them because she doesn’t speak English and because nobody listens to crazy preaching people on the street. I know this first hand because today I was out at a local college trying to convince people to stop using Facebook because they are racist, and not one person took my pamphlet. Sure, it was drawn on toilet paper with lipstick I borrowed from an old lady at the bus stop, but I was in a jam, trying to get my message across….

Either way, here are some of the pictures of Gisele on set of the music video, because she’s the best paid tranny out there and today is a good day to give the struggling trannies out there some motherfuckin’ hope.

Posted in:Gisele|Music Video

2008

Oct

Facebook Hates Me of the Day

12 Comments »

I’ve been using facebook for about a year. I’ve been adding random people and people who read the site have been adding me. I’ve kept it updated by running a feed to the site on there, I’ve promoted them pretty aggressively on this site in trying to recruit friends. I pretty much sit on it all day and tonight, I tried to login and boom…..

Account Disabled

Your account has been disabled by an administrator. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here.

Fuck you facebook, you broke my fucking heart. It is a dark day for the internet today and I’ll have to find a new place for internet social networking, maybe one that your mom, aunt, brothers, cousins, sisters, dogs, bosses, teachers, the admissions department of your university, and pretty much anyone else you don’t want to see your pictures of your drunken nights with drunken whores. One that’s got a little more cool to it, then terms and conditions.

I will start that site. I just need a programmer…..stay tuned.

Posted in:Facebook

2008

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I got recognized today because I was wearing a shitty DrunkenStepfather T-Shirt. It was a horrible experience where some kid with braces asked me if I was DrunkenStepfather and I just denied by pretending I didn’t know what he was talking about. Instead, I asked the dude if I could borrow a dollar for a coffee and he said no. I have no idea whether he believed me or not, but I think that’s a bad sign of things to come, especially considering that the people who care enough to find out who I am are just as broke as me. I want rich people recognizing me and offering me refuge in their well appointed mansions, with pools, hot tubs and naked chciks. It’s a bad sign.

Another bad sign of things to come, the name of this post, because you know what it means and that my links of the day are about to hit and there’s always way too many of those to click, making it more like work than good times, try to enjoy it.

Sometimes in Life, You Just Gotta Smile
GO

I’m No Psychic, But Sometimes You Can Just Predict When Things Won’t Go Right
GO

April Scott is Like a Breath of Fresh Air
GO

The 9 Hottest Israeli Women Ever
GO

Emma Watson’s Wizard Pokies
GO

Marisa Miller Can Ride Me All Day Long
GO

Talk Like a Pirate, Fag
GO

I Don’t Know Who Andrea Feldon is, But I Wanna Be on Her
GO

Zac Efron Almost Got Knocked the Fuck Out
GO

The Top 100 Big Boobed Celebrities According to NUTS, But Most of them Don’t Count
Because They Are British and Therefore Not Reall Celebrities
Whatever.
GO

You KNow, Looking At All This Photoshop Work, I’m Starting To THink Britney
Spears Was Never Actually That Hot to Begin With, And It;s All a Fucking Illusion
GO

Because I Know You Have No Radar Whatsoever
GO

Dress Like Sarah Palin for Halloween
GO

Emma Watson hard pokies
GO

How NOT to Argue a Ticket
GO

The Best Slut’s You’ll See All Day, Which Isn’t Saying Much Because I Know For
A Fact You Haven’t Left Your Mom’s Basement
GO

Doogie Howser MD
GO

Finally! The Role That Will Give Jennifer Aniston the Stardom She Deserves!
GO

He Was a Comlicated Man, And No One Understood Him
GO

Washing Machine Surprise
GO

Now That’sHow you Strip Yourself of Dignity
GO

PRAISE JESUS AND THANK THE LORD
GO

If Searching Through Here Won’t Get You Up, Then You’re As Badd Off As I Am
GO

Jamie Lynn Want’s to Go to College; Defends Teenaged Sluts and Pregnancy
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

What WOuld it Take to Let YOU Get Kicked in the Balls?
GO

You Say You Don’t Need the Help, and I Say Bullshit
GO

Infection Affection
GO

Not the Kind of Homecoming I’d Want
GO

Out with the Old, In With the New. It’s Official, The Girls Next Door Are Moving On
GO

Guy Gets Knocked the Fuck Out by a Chick
GO

audrey Bitoni is Fully Fuckable
GO

Isn’t Tila Tequila Dead Yet?
GO

And Here I Thought Finger Painting Was Fun
GO

I Need to Go to Romainia. NOW
GO

There Is Gonna Be a War of the Old Ladie’s Of Soul, And Even Though Aretha Fraklin
Is Huge, I’m Still Putting All My Money on Tina Turner
GO

Luba Takes a Dip
GO

Etch-a-Sketch Amazingness
GO

Jessica Alba Shows Off Some Pubes – Throwback
GO

Make Babies is a Way You Never Imagined!
GO

Not Everyone Can Afford a Dildo. We Are in a Recession Afterall
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Dude’s Girl Shows Her Tits
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Oct

Angela Lindvall Poses in a Bikini on 5th Avenue for Jimmy Choo of the Day

1 Comment »

I guess this is just another hard day at the office for model Angela Lindvall, who was seen shooting some Jimmy Choo ad on 5th Avenue in a bikini in October. To think people say that models have it easy, I mean, getting down to a bikini in the middle of a New York street in the fall early in the morning, after spending a night doing blow in a VIP room with rock stars and celebrities, after a 3 week stint of time off spent sleeping in and going to nice restaurants, because as a model work’s not always constant and as a model you really only need a job a month to make enough money to live the life of luxury, is a lot harder than what you do, you lazy free loading fuck.

The point of this post is I like this campaign and hope that it ends up in a Vietnamese Lady Bar bathroom with a skirt hiked up around it’s waist and a garden hose attached to the toilet to wash out her cooch…if you know what I mean….which you probably don’t which is okay,because here are a lot of pictures to distract you from me being not funny.

Posted in:Angela Lindvall|Bikini|Model