I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

30

Sep

Jennifer Aniston Wears a Bikini on Vacation of the Day

Jennifer Aniston is still alone on vacation. It’s kind of a common theme in her life since she can’t keep a boyfriend, and the truth is who really cares what Jennifer Aniston does, as long as she’s doing it in a bikini, because bikinis, when in the tundra that is Canada are a rare and beautiful thing, like a unicorn.

I thought these pictures were funny because of the amount of food this bitch has in front of her. It’s kind of a lot for one person. I figured that maybe she was emotionally eating her way through the pain and as she licks one plate clean, yells at Miguel to bring her more gucamole. Or maybe she’s just showing off that her life of excess is better than mine, as I sit here finishing off a box of $1.99 Cheerios. Or maybe it’s her passive aggressive way of telling Angelina Jolie and her starving AIDS babies to fuck themselves for stealing the one true love she thought she had locked down.

Either way, who really gives a fuck, this bitch is old and boring and that’s probably the real root to her lonely existance and here she is in that bikini….

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston

2008

30

Sep

Megan Fox in a Bra for her New Shitty Movie of the Day

I thought Megan Fox had bigger tits than this. I feel like she’s like the 16 year old girl I saw walking around American Apparel this morning. She was puffing out her chest like some kind of chicken going to war, or peacock trying to impress the female peacocks, and I could tell that she either wasn’t used to having tits or that she was trying to look like her tits were a bigger deal then they were.

These are some stills from her How To Make Friends and Alienate People movie, where she seems to be walking around a party in her bra, something that never happens at the kinds of parties I go to, but in all fairness to the people I party with, they are old, tired, hurting alcoholics and seeing them in a bra would probably not allow me to look at them the same way again, it would actually be pretty out of place, even though Old Jimbo’s got really fat man tits that we all tease him about, but never wish to see, if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Bra|Megan Fox

2008

30

Sep

Nick Simmons’ Words of Wisdom of the Day


Some of you may know that I had a ass scare a few weeks ago where I had some weird irritable bowel situation that I’d rather not discuss. I had to go to the doctor for some follow up tests this morning, so not only did I not get to drink last night, but I also had to fast for 12 hours for the blood tests and while in the Doctor’s office, who was checking his ebay auctions while asking me questions about my stomach’s condition, the running off on a tangent about how he bought his Benz on ebay from someone in Texas and how great people in Texas are, he made me turn over and face the wall and pulled down my pants and shoved his finger in me. I was a little uncomfortable looking him in the eye and finishing the conversation off after he raped me like that, it was kinda hard to pretend shit didn’t just happen, I just hope he was wearing a rubber glove. I would have liked a little more warning and I still have lube in my ass and I’m walking a little different than I have in the past because I am a new man, not a new man that I like or that is going to embrace this new erogenous zone, because I am someone who never liked anal play, not even when getting a blowjob from a really whore, so it was a pretty devastating morning.

I saw this facebook status on Nick Simmons wall, and I feel like I can relate. Only instead of cock. It’s my ass. It’s hurting. I feel like all those girls I’ve done this to and it turns out that karma is a fucking bitch.

Posted in:Nick Simmons|Words of Wisdom

2008

30

Sep

Rumer Willis Has Orange Hair of the Day

If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted yet, don’t worry, it’s not because I am Jewish and celebrating whatever the high holiday is today, it is because I am lazy and like to take everybody’s holidays because I feel like I deserve them. I do sound Jewish cuz of my gay immigrant twang from learning english from a raging homosexual and nasal problems, but maybe I am just making excuses for that nose job I’ve always wanted…..

A nose job, is the least important surgery on the general public’s list of demands to Rumer Willis’ family before unleashing her to the public. A list that has gone ignored the last few years, but I guess dying her hair like the Great Pumpkin is Rumer Willis trying to make herself look prettier or more like the witch she looks like, by doing something wild and sexy with her hair, unfortunately, it’s like giving the broken down Chevy with no tires in your backyard a new paint job with some old cans of spray paint you’ve got in your backshed because you’re drunk and think it will be funny, only to realize shit’s still just a broken down Chevy with no tires that you might as well douse in gasoline and set ablaze like you were the bank robber trying to get rid of the evidence you wish you were, while playing role playing games with your wife, because she has a thing for bandits…

I don’t know what I am talking about or if I got the point I wanted to get across, but what I am trying to say is that the only way this bitch will ever be hot is if her mother decides to fire her mid-season and re-cast some slut from the local brothel, like they did with Becky on Roseanne back when I had a TV….Maybe that’s a dated reference for those o you who have had TV the last decade but shit’s still fresh to me.

Either way, here are the pics and good morning to each and everyone one of you….and by each and everyone of you, I mean you.

Posted in:Orange Hair|Rumer Willis

2008

29

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

I know that Britney has a sex tape and the sleazy paparazzi are shopping it around and I figure why bother writing about it, since everyone else is and since I don’t have the fucking’ video to prove it exists, but I know that it probably does exist, because the paparazzi are fucking scum and selling a sex tape of a girl you took advantage of when she was at her lowest point, is something scum would do, especially when their careers are all about exploiting these people and I wouldn’t put it past paparazzi scum to have used Kleenex, tampons an underwear of hers. The real disappointment is that this shit didn’t go down when Britney was 18, hot and worth jerking off to and not when she’s a mess we all feel sorry for.

I also know that Anne Hathaway admitted to liking anal sex, which isn’t surprising because she’s a fucking homo. Don’t let those big tits throw you off. Who the fuck cares if she likes anal, I’d say 60 percent of chicks do like it and those who don’t are either too prude to try it, or had a bad experience cuz the asshole that took their asshole’s virginity did it too hard and made them scared of the shit. Yes, I realize I made many ass and shit references in that sentence. It was unintentional…and until I see the pics of her getting it up the ass, I am not going to post it here.

I know that Scarlett Johansson got married to the Canadian this weekend and that you are upset she is off the market even though you really had no fucking chance and I know that Heather Locklear got arrested for driving under the influence of prescrption drugs and I’d rather talk about my experiences with prescription drugs then focus on hers. I just won’t bother posting boring gossip stories here but I will post these links though….enjoyy

John McCain is Just Like Us, He Likes MILFS Too!
GO

Get Ready to Be Disgusted, Cause There May Be a Britney Sex Tape After all
GO

Jenny Milstead is Sex in a Blue Bathing Suit
GO

Lucy Pinder’s Noodles
GO

Who Says Romance is Dead? These Girls Are Willling To Do Everything You Tell Them To….
GO

Holly Madison Shows Her Sideboob
GO

How About We Remix Your FACE?!?!
GO

Michelle Hunziker is Your Monday Fantasy
GO

Scarlett Johansson Got Married. I’m Sure She Will Announce She is Ruining Her Vagina With a Baby Any Day Now
GO

Victoria Beckham Upskirt Throwback
GO

Watch Out Portia De Rossi, Paris is About to Steal Yo’ Man!!
GO

Sarah Palin Versus Joe Biden
GO

The Dildo Song
GO

Find the Best Porn You’ll Watch All Day
GO

Phone Sex Operators – The Other Side
GO

Uhhhh This Snake Has No Body
GO

If You Can’t a Girl This Way, You Seriously Have No Hope
GO

Rumer Willis, You Aren’t Fooling Anybody
GO

The Lovely Mindy Vega
GO

Is That a Ball in Your Pocket, Or…
GO

Serene Simpson Gallery
GO

Rally Car Accident – Video
GO

Nadal Showing Off His Ass
GO

Sandra Shine is Busty
GO

On Set With Tera Patrick
GO

Everyone Hates Meg Ryan, But I Would Still Bone Her
GO

Get Sex the Easy Way. Sucker!
GO

Vanessa Williams is Starting to Look Rough…But Still Has Hot Tits….
GO

Travis Barker is OUt of the Hospital
GO

Some Emma Watson Action
GO

Hayden Trolls It Up Outside a Hollywood Nightclub
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Motor Cycle Mayhem
GO

Jesus and George
GO

This Guy Thinks He Can Talk to Aliens
GO

some Old Time Porn
GO

Why Hello Candice Swanepoel
GO

Now THAT’S Multitasking
GO

Heather Locklear Got Arrested
GO

Jermain Dupri Puked On Janet Jackson. Amazing!
GO

Okay This Crazy Hip Hop Jewelry Thing is Getting Out of Hand
GO

Almo’s World Behind the Scene
GO

Heath Ledger’s Daughter is Getting His Entire Estate, and Rightfully So
GO

Louisiana Republican State Rep. John LaBruzzo Suggests Paying Poor Women to Tie Tubes
GO

Create Fake 3D Objects With Camera Illusions
GO

If that’s not good enough for you, how about some Dwarf Cage Fighting in Florida…Because It is One of The Classier Activity To Do in Florida
GO

Some Sex Offender Died While Trying to Sex Offend a 17 Year Old
GO

Or Maybe You Need Some Mexican Minx Named Sandra Ramirez Posing and Showing Off Her Tits
GO

Or Maybe You Need The Anne Hathaway Loves Anal Sex Story
GO

Or Some Reality Chick in Desperate Need of a Pole….
GO

Or Maybe Some Stripping Palin Stupidities….
GO

Jennifer Hudson is Fat Enough For Someone TO Marrry
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS…..

Some Girls and Her Tits Take her Camera Phone on a Date an Get to Second Base
GO

Or Some Really Busty Girl’s Photobucket Pictures….of Her Tits…
GO

This is Gay…Seriously…I am only Posting it to Prove Photobucket Does Porn
GO

Or Maybe Some Random Weird Porn…That is Seriously NSFW

Psycho Slut Sucking Off a Rubber Dick Spasms Out of Control
GO

Some Dick Surgery That Went Seriously Wrong
GO

Tricked Into Gay Sex…Sick….
GO

Chef Boyardee Jizzes Upon Contact
GO

Some Scenes from the Worst Porn Ever Made…Seriously…This Shit is Sick….In Case You Missed it the First TIme
GO

Too Drunk to Masturbate!
GO

Bonus that’s not really a bonus, Kanye’s New Song that He Played at the VMAs that You Will Hear on the Radio Non Stop Despite His Using a Vocoder to Cover Up the Fact He Can’t Sing…Because Music makes for good times….Fuck that, Kanye’s already too famous. What the hell was I thinking….

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

29

Sep

Sarah Palin’s Swimsuit Competiton From When She was a Pageant Queen of the Day

Nothing says she’ll run the country proper like a video of her objectifying herself in a beauty pageant. This is the kind of shit a Playboy career stems from and also the kind of shit that Jon Benet Ramsey stemmed from, but who cares, she’s in a bathing suit in 1984 hoping for a career outside of Alaska as a Journalist and soon she’ll be in your White House….Probably totally qualified, considering beauty pageants are known to breed intelligence….but in all fairness she didn’t win, a big ol’ Grizzly bear did. It is Alaska after all.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

29

Sep

Aubrey O’Day’s Making Out With Her Dog of the Day

A dog’s mouth is rumored to have less bacteria in it than a human’s mouth, which isn’t saying much when that human is Aubrey O’Day and a hooker’s 6 day old, unwashed panties have less bacteria than her mouth, but it is saying something. The truth is I thought it was bad enough that Aubrey had taken it upon herself to take a helpless little animal and turn it into some kind of weird, abused fashion accessory, but seeing that the thing is her personal living sex toy, kinda like you did with the kid down the street and both situations throw me the fuck off. I don’t ever think fucking animals is right, I don’t think exploiting them to draw a little more attention on yourself is right either because dogs are nice and don’t know any better, like that country girl I met at the bus station who let my friend do horrible things to her because she was just trying to find her way.

In the dog’s defense though, it’s only licking back because Aubrey’s mouth smells like cat shit and cat shit is to dogs, what chocolate cake is to my wife. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Beastiality

2008

29

Sep

Rachel Bilson is Dressed Like a Boy of the Day

Rachel Bilson, like every celebrity, both big and irrelevant, has her own clothing line and here she is doing some autograph’s dressed like Samantha Ronson. Girls aren’t supposed to dress like boys, but it seems like boys are supposed to dress like girls because yesterday alone, I saw about 8 trannies in different parts of the city and the city really isn’t all that big and doesn’t warrant that amount of cross dressing weirdos.

I remember a time when cross dressing was saved for the privacy of your own home. You know as a teenage boy putting on a pair of your mom’s pantyhose and finding it so sexy you have no choice but to jerk off quick before your family gets home from the movies. It was something that you were supposed to bottle up and be afraid of and be ashamed of, something that you’d go to therapy for after marrying, having kids and never really understanding why every time the wife is out you have an urge to slip on one of her high heeled shoes and put on one of her bras. It was never something you were supposed to embrace or take public and it’s kinda fucking up society so you should stop. I am talking to you Rachel Bilson.

Posted in:Little Boy|Rachel Bilosn

2008

29

Sep

Audrina and Her Sister’s Teeth are In Their Bathing Suits of the Day

Audrina was out in a bathing suit with her sister’s teeth recently and I really have nothing to say about this family, other than that something really went wrong. I am thinking that they may have lived by power lines, or maybe there was lead in the water or asbestos in the walls or maybe their mom was an addict, but whatever the fuck happened it made both of them retards. I am pretty tired of ugly skinny chicks with fake tits getting way more love than they deserve because America is filled with fat chicks, so by comarisson they are hot, because when I look at Audrina, I don’t see anything attractive, but I do see something that should probably be wearing a bike helmet while standing on the street corner with a sign begging for change to feed her cat.

It is up to you to make these people from The Hills go away. All you have to do is stop watching the fucking show. I think now is a good time to start.

”’

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Bathing Suit|Bikini|Teeth

2008

29

Sep

Kendra Wilkinson Flashes Her Tits at a Party of the Day

I was at some party this weekend and the MC on stage screamed out to the crowd that he wanted to see some titties and 30 girls pulled up their shirts. I was at the back of the crowd, by the bar, doing shots with some native who didn’t mind getting me drunk because I pretended I was native too, and missed all the tits, but I do know that when I ask girls to show me their tits, they never respond the same way, unless slapping me and calling me a loser is considered showing me their tits, but no matter how many times I tell myself that it is, I know that it isn’t.

Here’s Kendra Wilkinson at an event, doing what she’s supposed to be doing when asked to flash her fuckin’ tits. So if you happen to be a girl and you happen to be in Canada and a Mexican fat dude happens to asks you to show him your tits, this is what you are supposed to do…it isn’t code for asking you to slap me, so make it happen like you were Kendra Wilkinson getting carried away after one too many drink. Thanks in advance.

Posted in:flash|Kendra Wilkinson|Tits