I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2008

23

Sep

Ashley Tisdale is Still Ugly of the Day

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In case you were concerned, alarmed or still wondering…Ashley Tisdale is still ugly. So you can go on with your day, like Ashley Tisdale goes on with her day, rockin’ her weak chin that makes her look like she’s swallowing her face and her big deviated septum nose that I thought she got sorted out.

It reminds me of this rich girl I used to tease about having a weak chin a few years ago, she would call me fat and disgusting and I’d mock her by sucking my chin in saying letting her know that he dis would be a lot more hurtful if I didn’t know what you looked like and after 6 months of the back and forth, I was still fat and disgusting only a little bit closer to suicide and she went and got a chin implant. Last I heard she’s engaged, pregnant and the owner of a beautiful condo and her career is really taking off and I am still fat and disgusting and a little bit closer to suicide. Yes…It sucks to be me but it sucks harder to be Ashley Tisdale, because I wouldn’t give my chin up for all the money, fame and pussy in the world, it just means too much to me.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ugly

2008

23

Sep

Sophie Monk Shows Off Some Leg of the Day

3 Comments »

I went to a bar once and in the corner was a creepy lonely lookin guy on the piano. He was playing the song “Lady in Red” over and over and he sounded sad. He kept ordering cocktails and I knew that he never planned his life to end up in a dive bar playing the piano. I could tell he had dreams of grandeur, you know, to take his talent to the top of the charts like he was Elton John, but instead was living in a studio apartment with no hot water and playing the piano in exchange for free booze.

Either way, I got fed up of hearing the Lady in Red song, it was a little tedious after the 4th time, so I went up to him and tried to chat him up and win him over, after realizing he was a miserable person, I snuck in a little “do you know any other songs” and he went rabid. His eyes widened and he screamed “I play what I fell like playing, now get the fuck away from me” before breaking down and running off to the bathroom, 5 minutes later he was back at the bar, ordering another drink and 5 minutes later, he was back at the piano playing Lady in Red again.

I feel like his personal torment was on the same level of Sophie Monk’s after he fiance left her for Paris Hilton. That’s the kind of thing that makes a person want to kill themselves, so it’s nice to see that she’s surviving and showing off her legs and hair extensions while doin’ it.

Posted in:Legs|Sophie Monk

2008

23

Sep

Kate Beckinsale is Kissing a Dude and It’s Not You of the Day

3 Comments »

I just wanted to post these pictures of Kate Beckinsale kissing her boyfriend or husband or whoever the fuck this is, because I don’t really know, but I do have a feeling that you do, because you view him as the one great obstacle between you professing your love to this bitch and riding away into the sunset on a white horse. Without rationally breaking it down to the fact that you are a nobody, you are ugly and you work a menial job, or no job at all, shit, I don’t know what you do, we’re not friends, but I do know the kind of person you are, and that is someone who has watched Underworld numerous times, at various speeds just to get a better angle of this girl. She is a hero to the comic book crowd and she’s not ever going to fuck one of the comic book crowd, so you should really move on and ask that fat girl in the back of your class out for a cup of coffee, maybe she’s got a good sense of humor and a high sex drive from never being given the opportunity to get cock, that may be exactly what you’re lookin for. Sure she’s no Kate Beckinsale, but I think we have to manage our expectations a little if you ever want to find happiness….

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Kissing

2008

23

Sep

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson Confirm Their Lesbianism of the Day

5 Comments »

One of my life’s great tragedies is that I am not friends with Sam Ronson or Lindsay Lohan, but I could have told you they were having sex a long time ago. I could have also confirmed it when I went to a Sam Ronson show here that gave me a headache, when I went to take a piss and she was at the urinal next to me taking a piss and pulled her fingers out and slid them under my nose and asked me if I liked the sweet smell of Lohan’s cunt , and I didn’t because it smelled more like stale whiskey, cigarettes and a dirty homeless man’s asshole.

Either way, they were on the Loveline, with some asshole wannabe celebrity DJ named Stryker, talking about AM and the plane crash and basically having a who knows AM better conversation, dropping words like “dude” and “homie” in a rough New York rough accent, despite being rich and private school bred from England and Lohan got on the phone to confirm that she is dating Samantha Ronson, I don’t really realize why this is a story. I thought it was already confirmed and it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that those who wear shiny pants together, stay together.

To Hear the Interview Follow the “GO” Link
GO

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson

2008

23

Sep

Kim Kardashian’s Cry For Attention on Dancing With the Stars of the Day

Comments Off on Kim Kardashian’s Cry For Attention on Dancing With the Stars of the Day

So Kim Kardashian is always willing to further her career and better herself by taking that fat ass to greater heights by jumping in front of the camera every time it’s around. I think it stems from a jealousy of her friend Paris Hilton, who is irrelevant now, but at the time Kim copied her Sex Tape formula was a big deal, so I guess that means that Kim has taken the crown of uselessness.

In continuing her quest of uselessness, she was on Dancing With The Stars last night and I’ve always been told that you watch a girl dance to figure out how well they fuck, in Kardashian’s case, I saw her fuck before I saw her dance, and could have told you that this cold, dead fish of a pussy is nothing but a fat rich kid who is only good at laying there. She hasn’t got the energy or flow to put in the effort where it is needed, and her ego makes her think that’s okay because anyone she’s fucking, is just lucky that she let them in her. It turns out that her dance is even worse than her blowjob skills, and I really didn’t think that was possible, so maybe Kardashian’s breaking boundaries by proving to me that she is in fact even more of a waste of space than I originally thought she was.

The highlight of the clip is when the judge tells her she should make herself more available because she’s a treasure trove that everyone wants to explore…..without realizing that she’s already done a decent job of that…..either way, watch the clip and vote this whore off.

Here she is trying to show off some of her dance moves, and by dance moves I mean her ass in spandex. Enjoy.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Kim Kardashian

2008

23

Sep

Shannon Elizabeth is a Squeegee Punk of the Day

5 Comments »

Wanna know what happens when you are a 35 year old actress who has doesn’t get much work despite having 30 credits under her belt, most of those probably low paying cameo roles, including her big American Pie breakout as the webcam slut before webcam sluts were an everyday thing, who have turned to playing poker semi-professionally, like a few of my hopeless friends who rock the video lottery machines 12 hours a day waiting for the big payout because they can’t get work and because every once in a while they manage to double their welfare checks? They drive Hondas. Although a reliable Japanese car that is good on gas, it’s not really respected in Celebrity circles, but then again, either is Shannon Elizabeth. So it all makes sense.

Posted in:Shannon Elizabeth|Squeegee

2008

23

Sep

Mainpage Youtube Video of the Day

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To avoid the paparazzi, who are seriously tying to bring me down these days, I am going back to some features I used to do. One of them is the mainpage Youtube video of the day, where I find a video on the mainpage of Youtube that doesn’t deserve to be there, only today, when I got to the site, I saw a video that I was happy to see there.

I constantly get in fights with friends, family and pretty much everyone about being a hater. They tell me that I am cynical and unfunny and have no business judging other people’s work, because I haven’t proved myself to be any better. Yesterday, my stepdaughter brought me a video about guys singing a song about Canada and I turned it off 5 seconds in because I knew it was garbage. Last week, I went to an independent movie with my wife that was supposed to be really funny and I didn’t laugh once. So being a joke snob and not finding anything worthwhile is pretty much a downer for me and for the people around me.

What they don’t realize, is that I find concepts weak, I find execution weak and that’s really the only reason I don’t laugh. If shit was thought out and produced well, I probably would be laughing like an idiot like they are, but I can’t see past the flaws.

That’s why, I was excited to see a video by a friend of mine, who isn’t actually a friend, but someone I link to and who I am trying to help bring up his own site, because I think dudes got a good angle, has interesting things to say and has the potential of blowing his project out of the water, leaving his past project, Vice Magazine in the dust, because over the years, I have hated 90 percent of what Vice does, but the stuff that this dude produced is what carried the magazine. He was the real brain behind it and all the good stuff that came out of that magazine were from him.

So this is a video/mockumentary done by him and I think the concept is amazing, I think the delivery’s good and I think it’s worth watching, so fuck you to all the people hating on me for hating, because I am down with some things, sometimes, if they are good. Now watch it.

Posted in:Mainpage Youtube Video|Youtube

2008

23

Sep

Megan Fox Is Wet in a Dress in Her Next Movie of the Day

7 Comments »

You all love Megan Fox. You think she’s so fucking hot and so fucking cool, but I am convinced that it’s all smoke and mirrors. Sure, she looks like a porn star, but she was some wholesome family programming chick and I am convinced her agents and executives wanted to turn her into a product by giving her that bad girl vibe. I have a feeling her shitty prison tattoos are all part of the bullshit scheme, along with the plastic surgery she’s had to make her look more like Angelina Jolie, and quotes from GQ saying she’s so into Jenna Jameson right now, like some bi-curious bad girl, when everyone knows that real bi-curious bad girls, have no interest in washed up, pregnant porn stars. It’s all like a really bad episode written from the cushy executive offices of the guys who came up with the take the ugly loser girl’s glasses off and let down her ugly loser girl hair and trick the popular boy who teases her that she’s a hot girl into falling in love with her or of the producer of Full House or, I’m just waiting for the cheesy music to chime in, so that we can all come to an agreement and understand each other’s point of view, but I am hoping before that music chimes in, Brian Austin Green from 90210 gets hit by a bus, because you always need a casualty to get a point across….

Either way, she is hot, she is lame, and her nipples are hard in her new movie. These are the stills, that I am allowed to post, so the paparazzi can’t sue me for this one. Fuckers.

Here’s the video, the movie looks stupid and I hate MGM for sending them to every site, here I was thinking I had an exclusive, before realizing that I never have an exclusive.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Wet

2008

22

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

Sure my weekend didn’t involve plane crashes, but I like to think of myself as a plane crash everytime I have a drink in me, only instead of leaving casualties, I just do a good job making enemies. The weekend started in a Portuguese Mafia bar with an immigrant waitress and a bunch of dudes who didn’t like me in their stomping grounds and ended in an all night deli playing with some Goth dude’s pitbull and I don’t really remember much in between except French kissing an 80 year old at some restaurant she was celebrating her birthday at and more disgustingly, taking a shit while drunk in an alley near all the clubs without realizing that people used that alley as street to avoid all the chaos of the main artery, resulting in a lot of awkward waves. Speaking of awkward, here are my links…..

Fuck You Dane Cook, I Hate You
GO

Behind the Scenes With Charity Hodges
GO

Lucy Pinder and Chanelle Hayes Are All Naked Up in Here and Shit
GO

Sorry Pammy, But It’s Over, You’re Beat and We Know You Have Breast Implants….
GO

The Time Traveler
GO

Charisma Carpenter – Defining Milf
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Jamie Lynn Spears Subject to Porn Investigation Thanks to Her Class Act of a Teenaged Boyfriend
GO

Adriana Volpe Topless Throwback
GO

Bill Ray Cyrus Knows How to Pimp His Daughter the Right Way
GO

Find The Best Porn You’ll Watch All Monday Night
GO

Lindsay Lohan My Buddy Lesbian Playsets!
GO

And That’s How You Get Child Services to Your House
GO

Start You Week Off on the Right Foot Here
GO

Somebody Pass Me a Fucking Baseball Bat
GO

Let’s Talk About Jerry, And His Wood
GO

I Guess a Street Dentistis Better Than NO Dentist
GO

Magic is Bullshit, And Here’s Some Proof
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Find a Girl to Fuck, Because That Blow Up Doll Must Be On It’s Last Legs Right Now
GO

Cirque du Soleil Faceplant Removes All The Gracefulness Entirely
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Double Lezzie Masterbation is as Awesome As it Sounds
GO

More Lohan Gayness
GO

Bobby Billard’s Tits Are Fucking Huge
GO

Now THIS is a Fucking Web Cam Slut Video!
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Top Ten Worst Movie Moments
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Anna Kournikova is a Very Little Yellow Bikini
GO

Get Some Emmy Sluts Here
BONUS – Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Ass Had Finally Downsized
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Britney’s Single is Getting Delayed, But More Importantly, WTF is Happening On the Cover?
GO

Will Keira Knightly Just Get It Over With And ADmit She Has an Eating Disorder Already?
GO

Getting Liad Made Easy
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Clown Ruins Small Child’s Birthday Party
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Here’s Some White Trask Sluts Whoring It Up
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Sweet, Sweet Candy
GO

Abbey Lee Kershaw is My Kind of Bikini Model
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HOw About a Tv Quiz Show Tit Slip?
GO

Katie Price is Whining About Her Tits Again?
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Rap Battle Search Engine Hilarity
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Robin Williams is as Sick in the Head as I Am
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George Michael Caught Doing Nasty Things in Bathrooms Again
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Bianca Beauchamp’s Big Tits Are Feeling Blue
GO

the Ten Hottest Import Models of All Time
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BOGGLE is OFFENSIVE….
GO

Web Celeb Hall of Fame… Notice How I am Not On It…Cuz I Suck At the Internet…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

22

Sep

Steve Aoki Doesn’t Care About the Pilot and the Co-Pilot of the Day

3 Comments »

So Steve Aoki issued this “statement”, about DJ AM and Travis who are recovering in Georgia where Aoki went to be by their side, since he’s good friends with AM.

OUR PRAYERS GO TO DJ AM AND TRAVIS…


Most important news: Adam and Travis are going to be ok! I can’t give too many details away but things are looking up. It’s just the healing process now and then back on their feet in no time. Adam’s cracking’ jokes just like usual the second day of his recovery… on to bigger and brighter things!! It’s fucking crazy they survived that crash. Condolences to lil Chris’s families and Charles families.

xo Steve Aoki

I guess in typical LA rich kid behavior, they only care about themselves and their immediate circle. The crash happened because of a blown tire and had nothing to do with the Pilot or Co-Pilot’s negligence and I am offended dude didn’t pay his respects for the family of the people who died flying his rich friends around. Ya know, if they didn’t charter that fucking jet and flew a commercial airline like the commoners they once were before becoming rich as shit, that pilot and co-pilot would be still be alive today, so if anything AM and Travis had a huge part in the death of these 4 people indirectly. Everyone is saying how lucky they are to have survived, I am sayin’ if they were lucky, their plane wouldn’t have caught fire.

Either way, I know Aoki means and is generally a cool guy and is probably just shaken up because he was supposed to be on that plane and just forgot about the death of people he doesn’t know, and AM and Travis will be fine, possibly mangled, but able to enjoy the sunset and the stars and life, which is a good thing, even if AM has to wear a mask like some kind of superhero, and that’s the end of talking about this stupid airplane crash despite it being an insane tragedy and all that shit…..

Here is a video of the plane on fire with Barker screaming for help…this shit is scary and sad and I doubt I would have handled myself very well even witnessing the accident, let alone being in the accident. Crazy stuff we’ve got here. Crazy stuff.

Posted in:AM|Crash|Steve Aoki|Travis