I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

25

Sep

Drew Barrymore has a Soft On for Clinton of the Day

Girls are so predictible, you put them in a room with someone with power, and their panties slowly disolve with the excitement they are excreeting from their vaginas, and Drew Barrymore is no exception….

It looks like her left wing, hippie, big bush, democratic self is already 3/4 of the way to cumming as she poses in a picture with Bill Clinton. The good news for her is that he has proven that he has no standards and as long as she’s willing to put his dick in her mouth, he’s down. The truth is that she is a ste up from that Lewinsky slut, a very small step up, but a step up nonetheless and when you are an aging man with a heart problem, it’s against the rules to turn that kind of opportunity down….

Posted in:Clinton|Drew Barrymore|Horny

2008

25

Sep

Nicole Scherzinger Dance Lesson of the Day

So the Pussycat Dolls are all about false advertising. They do these stripper performances in stripper outfits and they never actually take off their clothes and just sing and dance instead. It reminds me of the time I went to a stripclub during the day a few years ago and the girl on stage had a headset mic set up like she was Britney Spears or Madonna and as she was twirling around the pole, she broke into song. I thought to myself that this was both the weirdest concept I had seen at a strip club, even weirder than the girl who had a dildo attached to a remote control car and her assistant would let the audience try to drive it in her, and the funniest thing I had seen in a strip club, even funnier than the time in the 90s when a friend of mine in white pants came out of the lap dance area with a shit stain on his knee. I guess, the real reason I liked it was because of the broken dreams I knew this girl had, with enough confidence to sing on stage, I knew she would have rather been performing in her clothes in front of a real audience as a recording artist and not as a girl some old pervert is going to pay 10 dollars to touch. The crying in her voice made the whole experience that much more believable and that is why people like Nicole Scherzinger and the Pussycat dolls piss me off. They mock girls like the singing stripper I once saw and I take it personally, but not as personally as the stripper who I heard killed herself by taking too many sleeping pills…..

But that’s not the point of this post, the point is that we can all learn a few things from Nicole Scherzinger and her catalog of dance moves, and today’s lesson is the “Dog Piss Kick”. All you gotta do is squat then kick…..and once you master that you are one step closer to impressing girls in the club by busting out this move as part of your best Nicole Scherzinger impression, and by impressing girls, I mean making a fool of yourself.

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger|Pussycat Dolls

2008

25

Sep

Aubrey O’Day’s Cruelty To Animals of the Day

I guess being obnoxious trash in an obnoxious shitty band that was created on an obnoxious garbage show produced by an obnoxious hip hop superstar wasn’t enough for Aubrey O’Day’s quest to get noticed, so she went out and got herself an obnoxious lap dog to take out with her everywhere she goes because she hates being alone, making people ask “who is that girl who brought her dog to the restaurant, that’s kind of inappropriate”, leading Aubrey to think she’s being noticed, recognized and liked until she lifts up her skirt and starts trying to shove a fork into her weathered vagina to see if it’s still breathing, making the people around her forget about the dog, because they are too disgusted, amazed, intrigued or thrown off by what they just witnessed and forgetting about the dog is the totally wrong outcome of this whole getting a dog in the first place, so Aubrey gets back to the attention whore drawing board and realizes that everyone in LA has an obnoxious white lap dog that they take to events, what if she was to decorate her dog like a Christmas tree, then everyone will notice the dynamic duo and this is the result of that brainstorm session…..

The whole thing makes no sense to me, decorating your dog seems like something only serious trash would do. You know the same kind of people who decorate their sweaters with Bedazzlers, or their car dashboard with stuffed animals, or their shitty trailer park home with everything Mickey Mouse…actually it is all starting to make sense…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|cleavage

2008

25

Sep

David Blaine’s Stupid Stunts of the Day

I ran into a girl who told me she made a point of watching this David Blaine stunt because she was convinced he was going to die despite it being aired on ABC, a family network. She told me that it was the biggest scam she ever witnessed and I figured I should find it and post this stunt that wasn’t really a stunt. The dude was supposed to jump 60 stories after being hung upside 60 hours, but instead all I saw was, smoke, mirrors and cables that probably weren’t supposed to be as obvious as a movie from the 60’s flying scene. The production crew was a little too slow moving to make it seamless as they attached him to the balloons he floated into the air on, and he just chilled out attached to cables at the bottom of the rig and the whole thing was a fucking disaster. I guess when you take a street magician, and give him the venue to come up with different ways to defy odds, he’s bound to run out of ideas or fuck up at least once. Blaine’s next trick….retirement.

This video is about as shitty as I feel today. Thanks David Blaine for giving me something to benchmark my unhappiness to.

Update:

I forgot to mention the Jimmy Kimmel announcer trying to cover up the mess with false enthusiasm….shit totally bombed and is a definite career killer. Let’s hope the girls from The Hills hire him as a consultant….

ANOTHER UPDATE –

Here’s a video of the paparazzi suckin’ Blaine’s dick about his shitty trick last night and Blaine offers an explanation as to what went wrong, and as expected, it was George W. Bush’s fault.

GO

Posted in:David Blaine|Stunt

2008

25

Sep

Youtube Mainpage Video of the Day

I hate fart jokes a lot, I find them the elementary school answer to a cheap joke, and the truth is when someone farts around me the smell offends me just enough to not laugh. I was at a bar last night and went to take a piss, and I don’t really know what the fuck happened, but the whole area smelled disgusting. There was no one in the bathroom, just some prick who has something seriously wrong with his insides and since my nose is fucked and I am forced to be a mouth breather, I don’t generally notice these kinds of things, excet last night, I tasted it.

Either way, fart jokes annoy me, people farting is disgusting, even if everyone does it, it doesn’t make it right, despite what some girl I once dated for about 2 weeks used to try to convince me when she’d fart after sex, true story. So when I saw this video on Youtube’s mainpage called Je’Rid’s Sexy Farts I felt the need to post it beause the editor’s at YouTube are idiots.

Posted in:Mainpage|Youtube

2008

25

Sep

Naked Man Gets Killed By Cops of the Day

Here’s a video of someone who is better off than me today. Watch it.

Posted in:Dead|Naked Man

2008

25

Sep

Kim Kardashian’s Cameltoe at the Dance Studio of the Day

Looks like Kim Kardashian isn’t the only thing with a big appetite in her world, looks like her vagina’s eating her pants.

I woke up this morning with no interest to write about people I don’t care about, who have money I’ll never have and live an empty souless life I don’t want, only to get a lawyer’s letter to take down the images 3 minutes after I make the post. It’s like I am on suicide watch or someshit, and everytime I get that noose tied perfectly and snuggly fitted around my neck, the men in the hospital whites come in and take all my hard work apart.

These could be old, I may have already posted them, who really cares, it’s still fucking tedious, but not as tedious as lookin’ at these pictures of Kim Kardashian’s massive vagina eating a perfectly fine pair of pants. I wonder if shit left a mark..a pussy-shit mark….actually I really don’t.

Posted in:Dance Studio|Kim Kardashian

2008

24

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

I got this email:

Dude you have gotten so fucken lazy over the last 3 or 4 years. I remember when your site rocked. Now it mostly just links. It was you comments that made the site.

I use to be a huge fan but you really have gotten lazy. Did you outsource your site to some Indian fuck?
 
I will be checking back every few months.
 
Get drunker Jesus and get your site back up to par….Bitch.

I am always getting drunk, maybe it’s taking a toll on my brain power, or maybe writing about useless celebrities everyday is uninspiring, what I do know is that I spend more time on the site now than I ever have and I don’t have advertisers or business partners making me censor my shit, so I guess what it comes down to is that I just suck at life, but we knew that already, didn’t we.

Here are my links, that make up most of my site and not the 10 fucking shitty posts I wrote before posting these links. Asshole.

Sluts GOOGLE THEMSELVES Viral….
GO

Drew Barrywhore Really Gets Around
GO

More Megan Fox
GO

Because It’s Wednesday and You Deserve a Break And By Break I Mean Slut to Jerk Off To….
GO

Pussy Cat Dolls Continue You Slut Til You Can’t Slut No More Tour
GO

Here’s Some Dita Von TEase for Those of You Interested in Middle Aged Women Who Dress Like They Are 80
GO

Prank War!
GO

Can’t Go Wrong Wtih Soem Eva Mendes
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck, Virgin
GO

Marisa Miller Has a Calendar
GO

Jessica Alba’s Vagina May Be Ruined, But Her Vagina Is Still In Tact
GO

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Are Boring In Berlin
GO

Nick Hogan is Getting Out of Jail Early.
Maybe He’ll Get Drunk and Kill Another Person to Celebrate
GO

Here’s Some Michael Moore Shit Some of You May Be Interested In
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Drama Tel
GO

Kittens Love Boobs
GO

OMG!! WTF?? NO WAY!!!
GO

Charlize Theron Makes Me Love Her Even More In Vanity Fair Italy
GO

Now THATS a Domestic Dispute – VIDEO
GO

Clay Aiken: I’m Gay
Us: NO SHIT ASSHOLE!
GO

The Best Place You’ll Fine Porn All Day
GO

Douchebag Bikini Contest
GO

Dutch Teen Amateurs
GO

Busty Blonde Strips Down
GO

Peep Show Fantasy
GO

How About Some Greek Porn?
GO

Slut in a White Dress
GO

Cindy Crawford Has Still Got It At Least She Did 2 Years Ago in These Bikini Pictures….
GO

Amy Winehouse’s Third Album May Not Happen
GO

If Kim Kardashian is Thin, I am Sober
GO

If Katie Price Puts Her Face on Another Product I Swear to Fucking God…
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Find Sex The Easy Way
GO

I Hope Someone Finds This Guy and Beats the Shit Out Of Him
GO

Nudist Has a Vaginal Problem….
GO

Devon is Delightful
GO

Why Was Pheobe Price At the Emmy’s?
GO

Bianca Beauchamp’s Big Ol’ Tits
GO

I Know I Make Fun of Lohan All the Time, But Seriously, I Feel Bad Her Father is Such an ASshole
GO

Uhhhh..Hmmmm….Okay….
GO

Toon Tang – Because You Can’t Get Pussy In Real Life
GO

Zara Naira is Gorgeous
GO

Build a Home Made Burgaler Alarm
GO

The 10 Hottest Moments if Braless Celebrity History
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Who’s The Hottest Dancing With the Stars Chick?
GO

The Complete Allison Stokke Web-Photo Index
GO

What would happen if all the Disney princesses were on HBO’s Cathouse?
GO

Wall Street Face or O Face
GO

13 Craziest Moments in Tyra Banks
GO

A Dumb Woman Tricked into Sex For Medical Reasons
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Naked Asian Sluts….
GO

Some Weird Superhero Bondage Fetish Pics
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

24

Sep

Brad Pitt Shot a Commercial in France With Some Hot Pussy of the Day

So Brad Pitt shot a commercial in France because they probably paid him a lot of money and since he’s trying to make some ties in the country that his kids were born in and he did it with some old chick in a bikini.

Old chicks are pretty fucking amazing, despite being pretty fucking rotten to look at. They just have this “who gives a fuck” attitude that younger girls don’t have. It’s like they reach a certain age and they either give up on life, or try to hold onto their youth and the only competitive advantage they have to younger girls is that they aren’t scared to do it. They aren’t self conscious, they will get naked anywhere. They aren’t reserved, they will fuck you anywhere. They aren’t up to date on the trends, so you can fuck them without a condom, but the only problem is that when you fuck them, you just don’t feel anything but an empty hole and dry flesh that is comparable to a loose gripped masturbation session but the dryness doesn’t lead to a rash because there is barely any friction as you you hardly touch the walls of her vagina no matter how well hung you are…..It’s a lot like shoving your dick between your wife’s fat rolls only less moist, come on, I can’t be the only one who’s done that….

Posted in:Bikini|Brad Pitt|France|Grandma

2008

24

Sep

Jennifer Aniston in Some Loney Vacation Bikini Pictures of the Day

Jennifer Aniston went on a lonely vacation recently, probably in attempts to get away from the hard truth that her life has a pretty depressing future alone and childless, and the good news is that she did it in a bikini, because despite being nothing amazing to look at, I’d rather be lookin’ at it in a bikini than clothed.

I have to say that she does look better than the Greek girls I know or the Greek girls who I have fucked, because I have fucked a Greek girl before and the whole experience was interesting enough to remember, because unlike non-Greek girls, I totally went ahead and shoved my dick in her ass and she didn’t even squirm or make a noise. Sure, I have a pretty small penis, but shit was like naturally lubricated and ready to go, like it was a second vagina and part of her Greek genetic code, leading me to believe that the stereotype comes from some truth….

So some advice to Aniston is that if you want to trick a dude into knocking you up, you gotta take him out of your ass, even if the anal is the only reason he’s in you in the first place. Everyone knows that’s the Christian girl’s answer to birth control and you can’t get pregnant like that….

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|Lonely