I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

17

Apr

Fergie Broke My Ears on Regis and Kelly of the Day

I am hooked on posting morning TV clips of the day, I think it’s because I don’t have a TV and I am jonesing, but it’s also because pictures bore the fuck out of me. At least with videos, I can watch what a mess people make of themselves while trying to sing or while doing interviews and that’s a lot less interesting than just imagining their it my head while looking at a picture because in my imagination it always leads to a hardcore porno scene, but watching it play out on video is usually a lot less work for my hungover brain.

It’s kinda like when you were forced to jerk off to pics that took 4 minutes to load on the computer back in 1996, when you first got your internet and where you’d be up all hours of the night talking to 18 year old SxxyGrrl69 from New Mexico while jerking off to porn pics you found on SublimeDirectory just sitting there waiting 5 minutes for the good part of the picture with a little pussy getting fucked so that you could set the scene as it took forever to load so you could drop your load to the elaborate story you imagined…then one day discovering you can watch the sex clips instead.

Either way, here’s Fergie singing like an angel this morning and she sounds like she’s been up all night on a coke binge while singing some kind of Disney Cinderella bullshit in some kind of sleep deprived, drug induced hallucination and it brought sunshine to this glorious day but not as much sunshine as Regis brought when he pretty much apologized for the horrible noise when they came back from commercial before Kelly told him it was a Fergie sng. That’s the kind of honesty that makes Live TV funny…because even Regis knows Fergie sucks.

Bonus – Here’s Her Interview That I Didn’t Watch Because If She’s Not Naked, I’m Not Listening..

Posted in:Fergie|Painful

2008

17

Apr

Danity Kane Perform on Some Shitty Show of the Day

I actually got hate mail for yesterday’s post on Aubrey O’Day being a D-List nothing who no one will give a fuck about when Making of the Band 4 comes out but that she’ll have a good career of being a useless whore now that guys everywhere want to fuck her.

I admit that I didn’t do much research on the band or Aubrey before making those claims, but that’s just because I have better things to do with my time, like take shits, or wait until I have to shit, or pretty much anything involving shit, because this band is shit and I have made it a point to not bother with shit that I know won’t be around in a few months, because I just can’t handle the loss once I am emotionally attached. It’s kinda the same reason I dumped my girlfriend who was diagnosed with breast cancer, even though we were madly in love and talking about marriage and starting a family back when I was bright eyed in my early 20s and working a decent job with a lot of room for career advancement despite being uneducated, this was before I got into this whole mess with the bitch I actually married. It turns out I made a mistake in walking out because my ex ended up living, landing an great job and lives the life of luxury and won’t give me the time of day, even though I found her on facebook, I guess people don’t like it when their partners walk out of them in times of terminal disease, but that doesn’t matter.

What does matter, is that this asshole goes off on me about how Danity Kane have a number 1 song, about how talented the group is and how they have staying power, so when video came in, I had no choice but to watch it and post it.

This is not talent, this is not good, it is some garbage produced with a handful of wishful thinking talentless whores who don’t deserve success but answered a casting call on a dream and just happened to be the best of the shit and that’s the equivalent of fucking the hottest retarded girl at the retard home, bitch is still handicapped just a little less handicap than the others.

The fact that this works is a testament of how the public is easily manipulated by TV but the truth is they were promoting on Kimmel, so I guess that doesn’t really count, since it’s not real TV. It’s more like the Danity Kane of late night TV. I’d still fuck Aubrey and the rest of them, but I also fucked my wife recently, so I guess that proves I’d fuck anything but in my wife’s defense, the sounds she makes when she shits sound better than Danity Kane…..I’ll stop now.

Posted in:Danity Kane|Performance

2008

16

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I was asked to do an interview with a website called ShrinkTalk.net and I take all opportunities to talk to anyone willing to listen, especially when those people are psychologists who normally get paid to talk to people like me, usually by the government or penal system and not by the ad sales on their website, so I agreed.

I was drunk when I answered his questions and not sure how it came out because I don’t feel like revisiting that night but you can since it’s online.

Truth is I don’t need a shrink to tell me I’m crazy, everyone’s been telling me that all my life, but it was still a good time.

To Read My Interview With a Psychologist a ShrinkTalk.net
GO

Here are my links:


Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster is Almost Ready…Cuz Evan Rachel Woods Looks At Lot Like her Predecessor
GO

Heidi Montag’s Fake Tites Are Pretty Much All She’s Good For
GO

Here’s a Video Tribute to a Bitch Named Gloria Velez
GO

Old Miranda Kerr Nude and Topless Pics
GO

Katie Holmes Tries to Escape the Clutches of Xenu and His Earth Dwelling Evil Doer
GO

Send This Video To Your Girlfriend…If You Have One and Teach Her How To Suck Dick Better
GO

Today’s Fix of Hot Chick’s Who Would Never Give You the Time of Day
GO

The Shittiest Smelling Pokies Ever
GO

Use This and Have the Time of Your Life. Like the Song
GO

Wednesday Web Cam Fun Because It’s The Day of Whores…
GO

Some Latin Bitch Lounges Around in Her Bikini
GO

Some Video of a Hot Black Chick, Because Black Chicks Are My Thing Right Now
GO

Jeisa Chiminazzo Looks Like Jail Bait, But I Know You’re Into That, So Don’t Say I Never Gave You Anything. Perv
GO

Emma Watson is Hot and Has Control of Her Millions Finally
GO

Lohan Does Missionary
GO

Party Girls Flahing Panties and Tits
GO

Emma Watson’s 18th Birthday Tribute
GO

Jean Bell is Some Hot Black Chick Naked in the Late ’60s
GO

5 sweet asses in the surf
GO

Some 2 Year Old Toddler Forced to Smoke Weed Video – because We Live in a Sick World
GO

Listen to One of My Reader’s Song
GO

Eva Longoria Wants to Fuck Posh Spice
GO

Find Girls to Fuck Today
GO

Vaness Hudgens Lookin’ Good in Details This Month
GO

Don’t Mess With an Angry Drag Queen Unless You Don’t Know She’s a Drag Queen – Otherwise You’re Gay…
GO

More Mishaps on the Pole
GO

Goth Girl Gets Her Pussy Pierced for the Devil…
GO

Doll Heaven!
GO

Trish Status in Her Bikini
GO

The Best Porn Out There
GO

JUBBLIES
GO

A Little Young Alessandra Ambrosio
GO

Nobody Turns Down the Hoff!
GO

Well If You Ever Get Married You Can Look Forward To This
GO

Holland Has Talented Strippers
GO

Always Ask Nicely!! And Maybe a Bitch Will Show You Her Tits Like This Bid…
GO

Some Old Pics of Christina Milian, But They Are See Through and Worth It
GO

Ron Weasley is Dissing All the American Celeb Sluts and I Love Him For It
GO

The Most Amazing Flip Book Animation Ever
GO

The Dirty Mermaid
GO

Karolina Kurkova SI video
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Girl Shows Off Her Big Tits
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

16

Apr

Katherine Heigl is Really Pretty for a Pig of the Day

I saw a fat girl talking about how hard of a time she’s having with her night classes, day job and raising two kids. She was pretty much whining, as most fat people do, especially when it involves getting off their fat asses and she said something along the lines of how she’s spreading herself too thin, that’s when I chimed in and said that thin is something she definitely isn’t spreading herself and shouldn’t been too worried about anything involving thin, except maybe for being thin, because obesity is the number 1 cause of heart disease, diabetes and most recently cancer…..She didn’t find me funny.

Here are some pictures of ugly Katherine Heigl lookin’ her best because she reminds me of a fat lazy slob who doesn’t do anything other than smoke her cigarettes and make her bitch husband do all the housework while she lives off residuals from that lesbian show she was on.

BONUS – Here are some pics of Katherine Heigl actually working in her panties for some movie she’s being fat and lazy in…..

Posted in:Fat|Katherine Heigl|No Make Up

2008

16

Apr

Mila Kunis Did TRL of the Day

I like this Mila Kunis slut who isn’t really a slut considering she’s been slamming the same dude for many years, but who I can assume is a slut by association because Culkin doesn’t do much and looks like he’s into coke-raged experimental shit in the bedroom because guys with money who don’t do much tend to fuck a lot, and since my only reference point for Culkin today is that movie Party Monster where he plays a weird homo club promoter murderer named Michael Alig, a movie that influenced all these loser hipsters to bring back stupid costumes to the dance floors. My other reference point for Culkin was a 10 year old boy who spent a lot of time with Michael Jackson and since everyone assumes MJ is some child rapist and 80% of the gay dudes I know were victims of molestation by older men when they were kids, it would only make sense that Culkin revisits men every once in a while when he’s in the mood to feel young again making Kunis at risk for HIV like all girls who date bisexuals.

The truth is that I am convinced Michael Jackson doesn’t molest kids, I am convinced he’s had his penis amputated to keep his high pitch singing and that lack of testosterone means no sex drive and his love for Peter Pan is something he can only share with young kids and we all like to relate to someone sometimes…..

Either way, Kunis was on TRL and I want to bang her.

Posted in:Mila Kunis|TRL

2008

16

Apr

Elisha Cuthbert Does Maxim Topless of the Day

Elisha Cuthbert did Maxim and looks good but I pretty much have no interest in this Cuthbert. She’s from Montreal but has denounced Montreal, which I totally understand but since she thinks she’s too good for the city, whenever she comes back to visit her family who still lives here she acts like she’s god’s gift to the city, like she’s the biggest export that everyone should acknowledge when all she’s really done is one stupid teen move and a job on 24 which to me is substantially less successful than other Montreal exports like Celine Dion that bitch is my hero.

What I was trying to do was reach out to her sister because I heard she was worth fucking and more accessible since she’s trying to break free from her sister’s shadow. Girls her feel less relevant than their sisters are always willing to suck dick because they feel they deserve the attention. I once knew these sisters who were both pretty slutty, but the one who killed herself was the one who wasn’t molested by her father. She always felt like a second rate citizen to her sister who was obviously more desirable, at least in her mind because their dad chose her and that left some serious emotional trauma. I like the think that the Cuthbert sister is up on the same shit, but instead of their dad choosing Elisha, the rest of the world has and that’s some pretty serious shit to try to live up to and that’s why I am willing to hold her hand through the hard times.


To Read the Article on Cuthbert
GO

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Maxim|Topless

2008

16

Apr

Kim Kardashian Takes on the Paparazzi of the Day

These are the fuckers I am up against and I am really not all that worried about taking each and everyone of them out. I am not threatening to kill them or anything psycho, cuz the photographers are not my enemy, it’s the people who they are working for who I don’t like. I figure the best way to ruin the paparazzi agency is to start up some kind of union to protect the workers rights as paparazzi photographers. I figure they are freelance, don’t have medical insurance and work long hours for shitty pay while making the same fuckers who run after me rich by giving them the rights to sell their photos. I know you don’t give a fuck about this quest to take these fuckers down, but I do know that I messaged Kim Kardashian awhile ago to help me take out these fuckers and it looks like she’s partnered up with someone else to do it because no one likes me.

At least she’s found a use for the cheap video camera skills that got her famous in the first place. This could be a glimpse into the future of Kim Kardashian when her 5 minutes of fame have dried up and the only person left caring about her is herself. That way she can feel like people still think she’s relevant by being her own paparazzi. I don’t know if she’ll be too good at running after herself without running out of breath and passing out from her emotional eating obesity, but it would be funny to watch her try to jump over a fence to get an exclusive picture of herself in her backyard, but that’s just cuz it’s always fun watching a fat guy struggle….

On a side note, it looks like she’s got some hip hop bling around her neck, and I guess her future also involves dating and getting knocked up by rappers (not rapists) and pro athletes….she’s got a fat ass like that.

Bonus – Paris Hilton’s Apology to Kim Kardashian for Saying Kardashian’s Ass is Fat
GO

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Paparazzi

2008

16

Apr

Aubrey O’Day’s Got a Proper See Through Shit On of the Day

Aubrey O’Day is another slut who thinks she’s more important to the world than she actually is. She’s the kind of girl who catches her boyfriend watching some kind of Jenna Jameson porn and figures she can do that shit too, only instead of porn she does pop singing. She’s the kind of girl who all her life was told she was good enough to be the next Britney Spears but just couldn’t land a break until she saw the casting call from Making of the Band 3 – and then it all fell into place and by fall into to place I mean she’s got a D-List career that she tells herself is a stepping stone but will fizzle out as soon as Making of the Band 4 hits, but at least she knows to not wear bras to get more attention to herself. So maybe I’m wrong, maybe she’s here to stay, but that popularity or success won’t change the fact that she’s useless.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Nipples|See Through

2008

16

Apr

Kelly Ripa Is a Coke Slut of the Day

I am dying of some kind of cold that I don’t really understand where it came from, but seems to be the story of my fucking life. I think living amongst filth and rotting garbage is just not good for me and the last 5 years, I’ve had more nasal issues than a ratty coke slut who’s been railing lines of blow cut with shards of glass. I don’t know what it is but my sinuses bleed, are constantly congested and leave me with a more nasal voice that a Jewish kid with asthma, allergies and a deviated septum. I can’t ever speak properly and sound like a cross between a gay dude and duck and I’ve gone to the doctor with no real solution, so I just live with it.

What’s happened with this disability, is that I have found beauty in girls with no sinus problems and who have clear breathing passages. It’s my fetish. It’s like the fat chick dating the skinny dude, the short guy dating the tall girl, the white guy dating the black girl. It’s the whole opposites attract shit and there’s no website offering that kind of porn…but here is Kelly Ripa doing a close enough job for me to fall in love with her clear her sinuses, that little slut makes me want to fuck my chronic sinusitis into her and by chronic sinusitis, I mean semen.

In less interesting news – Heidi Montag was on the show dressed like a cheap fucking horse-faced prostitute wearing her very own line clothing.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

16

Apr

Nicole Scherzinger and Her See Through Shirt of the Day

Nicole Scherzinger See Through Bra

Bras are like outerwear now and sluts are paying big money for bras to wear as shirts under sheer shirts when they used to be something of function that few people actually saw. I guess since they are sluts, now bras are something of fashion and should give the world a taste of what they are convinced is their hot bodies. I am the kind of guy who hates bras, sure the shit makes tits look more full, bigger and gives the fuckers some serious cleavage, but I find all that a distraction of what’s actually worth lookin’ at and that’s hard nipples.

I don’t know when this whole wear lingerie as outerwear started, but I was at a party and saw some girl in some kind of lace corset the other day. I asked her why she was wearing her underwear as clothes, because everytime I go to the store in a pair of soiled underwear since I am too lazy to find pants to put on, I get dirty fuckin’ looks, but when she does the shit no one complains cuz she’s got big tits and guys just pretend they are sharing a private moment with her despite the fact that there are 1000s of people around them….and she just told me to fuck off and walked away.

The only real problem with her outfit was that she was wearing a bra under her see-through corset so that we wouldn’t be able to see her nipples. I figured if you’re going to wear it out in public, you gotta wear it how it’s meant to be worn. You shouldn’t do this half assed cover-up bullshit because you’re out in public, It is more of a fuckin’ headache and cock tease and makes me fucking hate you. It’s almost as bad as getting a stripper who has a g-string under her boy short underwear like some kind college girl who is insecure playing strip poker for the first time so she puts on the fuckin’ layers, only the stripper does it to keep the smells in.

I guess none of that really matters, and here’s Nicole Scherzinger in a see through top showing off her expensive bra intentionally……

Posted in:Bra|Nicole Scherzinger|See Through