I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

07

Apr

Whoopi Goldberg and Her Interracial Lesbian Kiss on the Video of the Day

I’ve decided that the only thing that turns me on these days is The View. Shit is like porno disguised as boring women sitting behind a desk running their mouths off. Last week I posted Whoopi Goldberg talking about her panty soup and today she’s kisses her co-host Joy. I don’t know what to say about it because I am too busy trying to convince my wife to have sex with me to celebrate the erection shit gave me. If you’re wondering why I think it’s hot, so I am. I remember watching Ghost when she had a Patrick Swayze kiss and feeling sick to my fucking stomach, I don’t think it’s gotta do with being a racist but more with Whoopi having about as much sex appeal as a bucket of shit we have lying around since my wife broke our toilet, but then again, I’d pretty much stick my dick in anything…here’s the video of some old lady awkward lesbianism…

Posted in:Whoopi Goldberg

2008

07

Apr

Blogging Is Dangerous and Kills People of the Day

So 2 bloggers died of heart attacks recently and it’s hit the news.

I don’t think any of you should worry about me dying from blogging because I barely work, but I still feel the heat of being a fat unhealthy internet fuck who is on the verge of death but I feel like it’s got nothing to do with blogging, it’s probably got more to do with smoking, hard drinking and eating lots of cake and only getting off my fat ass to take a shit about half the time I have to shit, the rest of the time I just do it on the floor next to the cardboard box I use as a desk. That’s how we do it in this household. Reality is that I am always stressed because I don’t make money and can’t afford drinking, or because I am hungover and having panic attacks caused by alcohol withdrawal and the only real stress in running the best site on the internet nobody reads and nobody thinks is the best site on the internet and that is why they don’t read it is that I have to wake up every morning around noon being reminded that I suck at life. I also have an annoying fuckin’ wife who I hate and who keeps me up at night with her sleep apnea that’s lead to my own sleep apnea and is why I have high blood pressure. So I may be the next blogger to drop dead, I can only hope and you can too, but I am just being cynical, people like me don’t die, God likes us to suffer.

The bad news is that Perez has a personal trainer and taking on a healthy lifestyle because he doesn’t want to die by blogging, the good news is that Perez Hilton is a gay slut and is going to die of AIDS.

Here he is on CNN giving his “expert” opinion while bigging himself up about how great he is and how much fun his life is while making his 20,000,000 dollars a year.

Since today’s my birthday and I figure I should have a bunch more, I think it’s time to start using my wife’s thighmaster that she bought 20 years ago and never used but that’s just because Suzanne Somers gives me a boner.

Posted in:Bloggers|Die

2008

07

Apr

Audrina Gets Her Tattoo for Pop Fiction of the Day

I was told that the Audrina’s tattoo was a stupid prank for the stupid Ashton Kutcher show that has to be totally bombing because his ideas for fucking with the paparazzi involve suck. They involve people from the fuckin’ Hills, who no one cares about, getting really bad fake tattoos that are…wait for it…supposed to be the wrong chinese characters that read “Pork Fried Rice” instead of “I’m a useless cunt trying to ride this wave as long as I can because I have nothing to offer the world”. She’s so desperate for media attention, she’s released nude pictures and lucky for her Ashton is so desperate to keep his show afloat and can’t find anyone remotely famous to go along with the stupidity that he turns to her. I already posted this shit Here and Here , but figured I’d show you assholes the final prank being played the way they wanted it to trick all of us, when I don’t think it really did.

The only real funny thing about the whole thing or at least the first 10 seconds I watched of it is how the old dude is coaching her how to act when she gets her tattoo to make the whole thing more believable, like bitch is so fucking useless and talentless that she needs tips on how to fake getting a tattoo…I wonder if she needs tips changing her tampon and wiping her ass because if she does, I’d be willing to help even though my track record is pretty bad, at least that’s what my soiled underwear tells me, but I am willing to try….

Watch Part 2 Here if You’re That Interested…I wasn’t.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Cunt|Pop Fiction|Punk'd

2008

07

Apr

Paris Hilton Gives it to Montreal of the Day

I missed out on the greatest day in Montreal History this weekend, while I was in the gutter drunk because it is my birthday, Paris Hilton was doing some launch for her new shoe collection and partying at some club. I guess she forgot to call me to let me know she’d be around but it seems like it was a big fucking deal, which is both a testament to how pathetic this city is and to the impact this bitch has on the youth. Shit was on the news and in the newspaper and teenage girls everywhere were cumming all over their Hannah Montana underwear as they waited in line for up to 8 hours to get a chance to shake her dirty little hand. The longest I’ve ever waited to get with an std ridden bitch was about 15 minutes while she was using rubbing alcohol to disinfect as I ran to the bank machine to get cash.

I probably should have sucked up my hatred and disinterest for the bitch and channeled it into something funny or creative. I could have dressed up like a crazed teenage girl fan and made her sign my ass, or maybe even get to interviewing her about whether she uses condoms or not, or even dress up in my neighbors suit and claim to be some kind of big record exec here and set up a meeting with her because she’s on some mission to get ahead but I suck at life so the best I can do is rip off these pictures for you.

The bad news is that there wasn’t a random shooting in the club she partied at this weekend. You know one of those drug deals gone bad situation where a motherfucker comes in a shoots the place up. I don’t wish death upon Paris, but a stray bullet to her leg or arm would probably do bitch some good.


She’s Been Here Before and We Have Video From That Glorious Night
GO

Posted in:Montreal|Paris Hilton

2008

05

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I am sick. I guess it’s god’s sick way of striking me down because giving me a shitty life wasn’t enough punishment or maybe it’s because I never take down my garbage and my apartment smells like a dumpster on one end and a sewer wherever my wife hangs out because she has trouble wiping properly and after a few days of build up, shit gets a little toxic….toxic enough for me to think I may be dying….

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I am drunk…Here are my links:

Mariah Carey Showing Off Her Tits and Ass
GO

Hot Slut and Her Motorcycle
GO

Avril Lavgine is REALLY Fucking Stupid but I’d Still Fuck Her
GO

Drunken Brits Know How to Party, Now If We Could Only Do Something About Their Teeth
GO

Put a Frog to Sleep, And Then Lick It’s Ass After To Get High
GO

A Collection of Celecrties Exposed
GO

Enjoy This, Because It’s The Most Action You’re Gonna Get All Weekend. Homo
GO

A Collection of Sexy Gifs Put Into One Video
GO

I Know You Say You’re “Happy With Being Alone” And “Don’t Need a Chick To Complete You” But I know Go Home and Cry At Night So Get this Bitch on Cam to Pretend You Have a Girl…
GO

Marisa Miller Is Hot and Can Kick Your Ass
GO

This Is Living On Your Head, Dirt Bag
GO

Say Hello To Julie Hoi
GO

The 2008 Miss England Semifinalists Give Semi Erections Cuz I am Impotent
GO

More Mena Suvari Bikini Pics
GO

What is Katherine Heigle Wearing?!
GO

Kristen Cavallari Lookin’ Fine at Some Thing or Another
GO

Lauren Conrad’s Got a Fat Arm
GO

Make Finding Sex a Little Easier
GO

Screen Print Your Won Shirts With Bleach
GO

This Slut Thinks She is a Wino Lookalike
GO

Watch These Girls Play in Their Underwear
GO

Some Naked Crack Whore
GO

Tom Cruise Has a Strain of Weed Named After Him
GO

Get Laid Today
GO

Learn to Skateboard!
GO

Some Broad Named Amie Grove is Topless
GO

More Daft Punk Underwear Chicks. Is This Like a New Fad Or something?
GO

Some Megan Fox 2003 Action
GO

This Girl Hangs OUt in Her Blue Underwear
GO

You Can’t Increase Your Dick Size, But You Can Increase Your Porn Collection
GO

A Good Collection of Random Photos
GO

Illustrate a Character in Photoshop
GO

Conspiracy Theory of the Day
GO

A Whole Lot of Suzanne Stokes
GO

Lohan Made me Laugh
GO

I Don’t Know Who This Chick is, But She is Blonde and Hott, So Whatever
GO

His Wife is Cheating on Him
GO

Teen Mommy Darcy!
GO

Trailer Trash or Just a Slut?
GO

Some Hot Slut in a See Through Shirt
GO

Voyeur Cam of Girls Pissing
GO

Some Pretty Lame Flashing Pics…
GO

Some Mary Cary Posed Naked Pics Cuz She’s Banging One of the 76ers
GO

Madonnas and Justin Timberlake’s New Video
GO

Jordan’s Not the Blonde Big Breasted Slut We Fell In Love With Anymore…
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Chick and Her Vagina
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Elliot Smith Thread
GO

Marilyn Manson – Mechanical Animals
GO

M83 – Saturdays = Youth
GO

Vanilla Ice?
GO

OC Weekly presents Spin City
GO

Teagan and Sarah – The Con
GO

Roni Size – Return to V
GO

80’s Underground Box Set
GO

Eric Clapton! Woa!
GO

DJ Quik
GO

Chubby Chasers
GO

JezeBell Bond and Veronica Stone
GO

The Real WHAT WHAT Video
GO

Animal Collective – Grass
GO

Jason Mraz – Mr.A-Z
GO

Liz Phair
GO

Hot Jessica Simpson pics
GO

A Blonde Tries to Buy a TV
GO

Stripper Secrets
GO

Extreme Rape
GO

Fire Exit thats sucks
GO

Trivial Pursuit
GO

Lillie Feels Herself
GO

Hips and Thongs
GO

Young and Busty!
GO

It’s Baseball Season
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

04

Apr

Cameron Diaz has a Hot Body of the Day

Cameron Diaz is the new GQ cover girl and I think she’s lookin’ pretty good. She’s always had a good body with long legs and I guess that’s the reason Justin Timberlake used her to be his pretend girlfriend so that we didn’t catch onto him being a fag. You know anyone who dances like that’s either into little boys or big boys or pretty much anything with a penis and it is with my expert opinion that Cameron Diaz doesn’t have a penis but she does look like she likes penis with makes the whole thing pretty confusing to me. Since I am hungover, I’ll leave this post like this. I decided that I have nothing else to say about it. Speaking of confusing – WATCH THIS

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|GQ|Hot Body|Legs

2008

04

Apr

Vanessa Hudgen’s Jogging Pants are Riding Low of the Day

Vanessa Hudgens isn’t necessarily a slut, she’s more of an exhibitionist who took a few naked pics for some guy she wanted to get jerking off to her and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that and clearly, in fact, I encourage it. I guess Disney feels the same way because they didn’t fire her but then again, Disney doesn’t seem to mind teenage pregnancy either so I guess they are just evolving with the times and know a good publicity stunt when they see one or maybe even stage one.

Here she is in some sloppy sweat pants that remind me of my shit I wear because I’ve pretty much given up on exterior appearance and jogging pants were always what the poor weird kid who always got a boner and never showered wore in high school even after constantly getting “pantsed”, so I am just trying to dress appropriately, it’s my kind of uniform. So I’ll never fully grasp when it became acceptable for anyone to wear these things outside of gym class, especially when those people are chicks you’d all fuck if she gave you the time of day. The good news is that she’s kinda pantsing herself and that’s good enough for me, but I am easily impressed like that.

Posted in:Jogging Pants|Underwear|Vanessa Hudgens

2008

04

Apr

Gisele’s Ass in Some Jeans of the Day

Nothing says creepy pervert like standing across the street from a girl and watching her either put things in or take things out of her car in hopes to get a good look of her ass, except for maybe following a chick from the bar home and climbing her fire escape to watch her either drunken masturbate or have a booty call while you sit there jerking off like you’re watching some kind of live-action porn. It’s on the same level as watching a girl shopping at the mall and seeing her reach down for the perfect bikini or watching her model it for her friend before buying the perfect one. It’s like peaking into the curtain-doored changing rooms to watch them change without getting caught or even like hanging out at the bottom of open-backed stairs and watching girl walk up and down the stairs.

These are some pictures of GIsele putting things in or taking things out of her car and you can see the top strap of her panties, and those panties are actually touching her pussy,which must be pretty exciting for someone who has never seen a vagina….but is probably not all that exciting for the rest of the world. I call it the process of desensitization, like when I used to get a boner holding hands with a chick or seeing her in a bra and now I can barely get hard for a hot girl on all fours with a finger on her clit, begging me to stick it in, but I still try and thats all the matters to me, even if it turns out to be the worst sex for her. Let’s face it, I am not trying to impress anyone.

Posted in:Ass|Gisele Bundchen|Jeans

2008

04

Apr

New Kids on the Block Together Again of the Day

People love the New Kids on the Block. Here they are making their first public appearance at the Today show, dressed in suits instead of like the fags they used to and I assume that all the middle aged women out there have their dildos out celebrating this whole New Kids reunion and this is going to go on for the next month until NKOTB release their song and perform live. I am pretty sure that this has tapped into their youth in a way that nothing ever really has, not even the night they hit the bong like they were in high school and that when they go home tonight after working doing whatever 35 year old women do, they are going jump their husbands like it was their wedding night and that is the power of New Kids on the Block.

When I was about 16 and pretty fresh into the country, I was banging a fat chick. I was fuckin’ her because she was always ready to bang, always had food in her fridge and can be credited as being the reason that I continued to fuck fat chicks well into my 30s, because fat chicks are always willing to fuck, in fact she is probably the reason I am the mess I am in today after marrying a fat chick when I should have just taken her out for donuts, we’d both be a lot happier now….

Either way, she made me go to the New Kids on the Block Hanging Tough tour with her and her little sister. It was my first concert that I had ever gone to and I actually had a good time. I was familiar with some of their songs and sang along with my patent leather shoes but that was before knowing it was gay as fuck and that I deserved to get beat up by the jocks everytime I wore a New Kids on the Block t-shirt to school. Realize that I had never seen pussy in that quantity of that quality screaming and cumming their fucking pants for a bunch of guys. In my mind I had just been like a terrorist after suicide bombing a school walking into the promised land of 15,000 – 20,000 virgins and in my mind New Kids on the Block will always be some kind of god to me……

Posted in:New Kids on the Block|Reunion

2008

04

Apr

Marla Maples and Her Boy Toy on the Beach of the Day

So Marla Maples is pretty much only famous for being breaking up billionaire Donald Trump’s marriage to Ivana Trump after getting knocked up at 20 years old by him and shotgun marrying him before having his baby, making her pretty much set for life.

The good news is that the 45 year old uses her free time, which she has a lot of, because when you’re set for life after letting a billionaire cum in you back in ’84, you don’t have to get a job waitressing to pay the rent like you would have if you hadn’t used your young kinda hot at the time, powersuit wearing looks to get ahead, and by get ahead I mean trick a billionaire into marrying you after flipping the condom inside out and impregnating your 20 year old womb.

But she can use all that free time from being rich by association to go to the gym like it was a full time to stay fit for her 31 year old reality star from The Bachelor named Andy Baldwin, because holding onto your youth is a something most chicks want, but normally can’t pull off because oreos are just too damn good.

Either way, here are her abs in her bikini with her younger boyfriend who obviously sees a golden opportunity just like his girlfriend did back when she was his age. They do have so much in common….

Posted in:Bikini|Boy Toy|Cradle Robber|Marla Maples