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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Apr

From the Forum of the Day

No Comments »

My computer finally died on me, so I am borrowing a friend’s piece of shit. Things always go wrong, so I wasn’t getting my emails all weekend and I was planning on posting this FROM THE FORUM shit yesterday to give you hungover assholes with nothing better to do…something to do. I know that Sundays are the loneliest, most depressing day of the week and what way to make it more depressing than to rock a message board on the internet.

I decided to make a post because I like contributing….

What Would You Rather…..
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Here’s some other shit going on in the forum….

————music—————-

The Killers – Live at Glastonbury
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Jason and the Scorchers – Live
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The Police – Box Set
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James Brown – Live at the Apollo
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SCSI-9 — The Line of Nine
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Cut Copy – Future Remixes
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Interpol – Evil
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South Park – bigger Longer Uncut
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Brian Regan – I Walked on the Moon
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———-porn————–

Hott Asssss
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Random Sluts
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———–Software————-

Wallpapers
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More Premium Wallpapers
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ACDsee Pro for Photographers
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————-e-books————-

The Dream Drugstore – Chemically Atered States
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————-video———–

The Office – COmplete Series
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Posted in:Forum

2008

Apr

Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures of the Day

3 Comments »

Jennifer Aniston was out in a bikini this weekend and you probably were too, which is a little awkward since it belonged to your sister and you were wearing it while watching porn because it makes you feel pretty. I guess Jennifer Aniston’s sex life involves a lot of porn since she hasn’t fully recovered from losing Brad Pitt to Angelina. The truth is that Aniston looks pretty good but there’s just something about her that makes her have little to no sex appeal. I remember watching Friends in the 90s because it was the only place to find hard nipples on prime time TV, making her like the only girl in your class willing to fuck you amongst a group of other girls a false sense of being hot.

This post is as boring as these pictures but that’s just the way it is when you’re dealing with Jennifer Aniston. The only thing interesting about her is that this Greek ass likes getting fucked because that’s just the Greek way…..and your way cuz you’re gay…way to gay….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jennifer Aniston

2008

Apr

Fergie Bikini Pictures of the Day

7 Comments »

I met a girl where I meet all the girls I know and that’s at the stripclub this weekend. Strippers always act like they are celebrities, or unattainable, or more important than they are and try their best to avoid having to talk to me and when they do they try to make me feel like I’m lucky to be talking to them, but the truth is that it’s one of the only places where 10 dollars puts that ego aside and leads to me grabbing their tits within about a minute of approaching them. The are just high volume shitty prostitutes that try to convince themselves that they are celebrities and I like to single out the one with the most attitude to use.

Either way, this weekend, the stripper was some fitness bitch who was more acrobatic than the other lazy sluts. She was bouncing off the walls, flipping herself in all ways possible and knew how to work the crowd because she spread her ass apart on stage like it was a cheap porno shoot. She had a hard face from years of smoking, drinking and drugs and her body was fuckin’ tight and she was doing it all to a Fergie song and I thought that I just witnessed some kind of ironic moment, but don’t know what the word ironic means so can’t be too sure….

Here’s Fergie in a bikini from this past weekend with her tight body and hard face….unfortunately she’s not spreading her ass like my Fergie was, but I guess this is as close as she gets….since she’s famous and doesn’t need to do it to pay her rent which is really too bad because Fergie was a drug addicted child star who burnt through all her money and could have either gone deeper into the gutter, but somehow managed to get out that makes us the real losers in this whole recovery shit…

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Fergie|Tits

2008

Apr

Emma Watson’s 18 Year Old Sheer Panty Upskirt Pictures of the Day

17 Comments »

Emma Watson turned 18 this weekend and she wore sheer panties to celebrate being legal, because you know that before this weekend there was no way bitch was letting dudes explore her vagina. The fact that she’s got bush is a nice change of pace because I was under the impression that all teenage girls these days were so influenced by porn and Paris Hilton that they didn’t believe in bush, but did believe in brazilian bikini waxes. I guess this Emma Watson bitch is from England and they do things differently there.

I am posting this because I have a feeling half of my 5 readers think they are wizards and dress up in capes and meet up with their other wizard friends on the weekend to cast spells on each other and do other weird shit because girls don’t talk to them and since Harry Potter is probably your instruction booklet, I figured these come in handy when you cast a spell on your penis and turn it into a fire spitting dragon, at least that’s what you pretend it is when it’s cumming all over you because it makes masturbating more relevant to your cause.

Posted in:Bush|Emma Watson|Panties|Sheer

2008

Apr

Tila Tequila is a Video Star…Baby…of the Day

3 Comments »

I spent Saturday drinking all day, because that’s what I like to do everyday. I figure if I am not drunk by 5 pm, I’ve failed, since it’s the only thing I am good at, according to me, according to everyone else, I’m some kind of evil drunk who takes down everything in my path, but since I black out and never seem to get arrested I figure I’m no real threat, unless I haven’t been caught for shit I’ve done and don’t know I’ve done, which is really the whole point of drinking because last time I checked I drink to forget and not to remember.

Either way, I heard that superstar Tila Tequila was going to be at some chachi club that I can’t fucking stand and decided since I was drunk that it would be funny to try to get in wearing my jogging pants and mustard stained T-shirt. I got to the door and couldn’t get through the crown of Ed Hardy shirt, tight jean wearing immigrants so I called a friend who I knew would be at the event because he has a crush on Tila.

Either way, he ended up getting me on the guest list and let inside, but that didn’t stop the harassment, every chick in the place looked at me with disgust and cleared a 5 foot circle around me like this was some kind of dance off while everyone else in the club was crammed together. I approached the area they had sectioned off for Tila Tequila and her friends and got this video of her doin’ a little dance. It’s a far cry from a sex tape but there’s only so much I can pull off with a limp dick, no social skills, a bodyguard tying to keep me away from her and a mustard stained shirt. Enjoy.

TILA TEQUILA DOESN’T LIKE HUGS…

BONUS – Here are some Bikini Pictures from Some Photoshoot of Her Being All Active and Shit…

Posted in:stepTV|Tila Tequila|Tits|Video Star

2008

Apr

Miley Cyrus’ Personal Pictures of the Day

29 Comments »

I love how everyone calls me out for being a sick fuck for predicting that this bitch will grow up to be a slut. They think it’s so fucking twisted to think of a 15 year old being sexually active. I always tell them that it’s Oprah’s fault for getting the idea into my head when she had an episode on these 14 year old high school sex parties. In fact, Oprah is like my god and if that bitch can talk about 14 year olds licking assholes, I think I can too. It’s like she set the bar for me or some shit.

The point is that Miley Cyrus plays this whole girl of God innocent shit, that I know is a total lie and that whenever this bitch is at home alone with a guy watching teenage comedies, she’s the one who grabs his dick over his pants and begs for him to fuck her without a condom because she hasn’t got her period yet and can’t get pregnant…or she’s this wholesome Christian girl who bends the rules by putting cocks in her mouth and ass, keeping her vagina off limits but still finding ways to get off, like a recovering heroin addict who loves shooting up, so he’s taken to shooting coke instead of heroin because he doesn’t consider it really doing drugs because Heroin is that much more fun and cocaine is designer shit for rich girls. It’s like how you don’t think it’s gay to let your best friend give you a blowjob because he’s your buddy, you’re not putting a penis in your mouth and girls don’t really give you the time of day and you’re tired of jerking off.

The truth is when I see pictures like this, I know that I am right in thinking she’s a slut with too much money on her hand and that age doesn’t play any factor in that and I just realize that I was born in the wrong era, because when I was 15, girls weren’t even masturbating yet, they didn’t know what the fuck sex was and the occasional one who did was considered a slut and rightfully, because that bitch gave me Chlamydia.

Either way, here are the Hannah Montana, innocent teenage girl pictures, because according to the hate mail I get, she’s just a little girl with no sex drive, but according to the pictures, bitch looks like she’s ready for sex, loves male attention and she’s letting us know that in a few years, we’ll be seeing a lot more of her and that she’s yet another reason we should love Disney and their creepy producers for breeding these whores like a pimp at the bus station lookin’ for teenage runaways to work under him.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Personal Pictures|Slut

2008

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I keep getting emails about where I from and what I do. So I thought I’d start my memoirs here. My name is Jesus Martinez. I am from a border town in Mexico and my mom was a whore, but the good type who would fuck you bareback if you paid her a couple extra dollars and we never knew who my dad was because people liked paying the extra couple of dollars. I was fortunate enough to experience her work first hand before she died and I am drunk so here are my links. Goodnight.

Because I Want You to Form a Wet Spot on Your Crotch
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It’s Friday, Which Means You’re Spending the Weekend Alone, So I Thought I Would Give You These
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Rachel Nichols is Scarlett O’Hara from The New G.I.Joe Movie
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He Wants to Bang Abigail Clancy, and So Should You
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Hot Chicks, Rock and Booze
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Some Hot Chicks You Know on the Beach Being Hot
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Tie Bondage Knots, So If You Ever Bring a Girl Home, You Can Force Her Stay Forever
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Aubrey O’Day See Through Dress
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A Helping Hand, That Ins’t Your Own on Your Own Penis
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Hot Meat
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A Sexy Gallery to End The Week Off Right
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Miranda Kerr is All Over the Place These Fucking Days
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You Can’t Get a Real Girlfriend, But You Can Have One on the Internet!!
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Jessica Simpson Can’t Handle Her Booze, Why Am I Not Surprised
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A Bunch of Slut’s and US Magazine’s Hot Hollywood Party
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More Slut’s at the Hot Hollywood Party
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Find Girls To Fuck, Because You’re Real Doll Won’t Last Forever
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Rachel Bilson Lookin’ Good
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Trouble in Paradise So Soon?
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I can’t Decide If These Chicks Are Twins or Not, But Either Way They Are In a Bathtub Together Naked
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Cruz Beckham Flips the Paps The Bird. Way to Go Half Pint
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Bikini Contest
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Caught in the Act!
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Maria Gets Spunky
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Some Porn For The Weekend
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Hayden Panty-Airs in Her Bikini
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Gary Busey is Homeless and So Am I
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Tempting Fate
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Eve is Lookin’ Fine
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If This Happens, I Am Going to Blow My Brains Out
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Sex Sells, And Here’s Some Proof
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Kate’s Playground Painting
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Teri Marie Harrison
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Top 10 Topless Baywatch Slut Scenes…
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Dexter Gordon
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Some Toy Car Driving Into Pussy
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The Russian President is Splitting with His Wife for this Slut
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In an Absolut World All Penises Would be 8 Inches
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Some Webcam Girl Named Asian Bubble Doing Her Webcam Thing
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Carl Jr’s Promotes Burgers the Right Way
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Polygamist’s Have 1 Eyebrow
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And MORE Miranda Kerr, But This Time She is Naked
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Michelle Rodriguez is a Delicate Flower of a Man
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McDonald’s Newest Mascot?
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Sexy Kittens
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Girl in her Lingerie
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Some Tit
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Some Slut Showing Her Pussy on Cam
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Apr

Zoe Kravitz in Some See Through Shirt of the Day

3 Comments »

This is Zoe Kravitz in a see through shirt. She’s Lenny Kravitz’s Daughter and she probably as no problem getting let into all the exclusive parties, the one exclusive party she hasn’t come to yet is my shit hole apartment, which is too bad because I’ve already plastered the walls with Lenny Kravitz posters and put on my Lenny Kravitz cd so that she doesn’t getting any idea that I am trying to be friends with her for any other reason other than the fact that she’s Lenny Kravitz’s daughter and that means she has lots of money that can be used to buy me things.

The good news is that from my experience all rich girls are sluts and love to fuck, maybe it’s cuz daddy was out making money on the road all their lives or maybe it’s cuz they can afford to buy anything they want and the only thing they get pleasure out of is cocaine, liquor and fucking. The other good news is that despite being inter-racially mixed, she managed to still be born with nipples, because I heard that when you breed different species of dogs weird shit happens to them, like six toes or weird skin diseases and figure it’s the same thing for humans, so when you get with one, you never know what surprises are to come.

Speaking of cum, this is the kind of girl you’ll want to cum in because she comes with benefits, like supporting your ass and getting you into all the Lenny Kravitz concerts your heart desires because he’s your baby granddaddy and you’re into lesbian music.

Posted in:Nipple|See Through|Zoe Kravitz

2008

Apr

Heather Graham Airport Ass Grab of the Day

5 Comments »

It was a nice day, so I kinda forgot to post these pictures of Heather Graham getting her ass grabbed in the airport because I chose getting drunk over sitting on my ass smelling the rotting pile of garbage that no one has or will take down unless I do it, which I won’t because I like the smell of garbage more than the smell of my wife.

I guess it’s nice to see a slut being treated like a slut in public, it really puts things in perspective and makes me realize that no matter how much money a bitch has, or how many dudes have jerked off to her in Boogie Nights, there will still be a dude who only hangs with her cuz he likes treating her like she’s a cheap hooker who’s already been paid. Enjoy.

Posted in:Ass Grab|Heather Graham|Jeans

2008

Apr

Rachel Bilson is in the Most Annoying Relationship of the Day

4 Comments »

So Rachel Bilson and Star Wars are the new “it” couple in Hollywood and that means that they have to star in movies together because it’s great marketing. They just finished one about Egypt and now they are doing this one and the good news is that the stress of spending everyday and every night together will probably break them up because Star Wars won’t have enough down time to himself to play videogames and fuck other chicks behind her back cuz she’ll always been peering over motherfucker’s shoulder. I guess Hollywood can break love as fast as it makes love and her being single is probably a good thing because she looks like a total slut.

Posted in:Annoying Relationship|Rachel Bilson