DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Apr

Paris Hilton See Through Shirt of the Day

7 Comments »

I am sure these pictures of Paris Hilton in a see through have done their rounds already since they are a couple days old and that you’ve probably already forgotten about them and moved on, a lot like Paris Hilton’s vagina in everyday life, but her vagina always manages to find willing penis, so I figured these pictures would too.

I like how Paris Hilton is wearing a shirt that says Paris Hilton to remind everyone who she is. She’s like branding her nipples so that everyone remembers what she’s packing since the sex tape sales dropped the last 5 years when we all realized that we don’t give a fuck and that there’s a lot better amateur porn out there, porn where the girl knows how to fuck. Either way, the Paris Hilton shirt reminds me of the time I smeared shit all over my body in the shape of a T- shirt so that it looked like I was trendy in an earth tone Polo to remind everyone that I smell like shit and that I’m fucking disgusting…..it worked but I think I got the flesh eating virus because of it….I guess those are the consequences of playing with fire….kinda like the sensation every man has felt after having unprotected sex (the only kind of sex) with Paris.

I feel like I am slow moving today because my computer is slower than my wife’s metabolism, but I figure I’ll catch up eventually. Stay Tuned.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|See Through|Tits

2008

Apr

Miranda Kerr Posing With Underwear of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr posing with underwear and not without underwear and some Victoria’s Secret launch. It seems like once the people at Victoria’s Secret comb the world over to find hot young pussy, they put these girls to work, making them do catalog shoots, store appearances, fashion shows all in exchange for a lot of money to not get fat and lazy. Sure they milk these poor girls like crazy and only compensate them with a ton of money and a life of international fame and fortune instead of their miserable lives as a married housewife to the highschool quarterback who’s now a drunk trucker had they not signed with Victoria’s Secret, but you’d milk them too for a lot less money had you accidentally crossed paths with them in a back alley before they were using their looks to get famous, and back when they were using their looks to get a pack of smokes.

I guess what it comes down to is that I hate underwear and everything it represents, I feel like my wife’s extra large, old, stained and permanent stinking underwear has turned me off that shit forever. If only my wife could have the same affect on my drinking, that’s way I wouldn’t die prematurely, but instead her disgustingness turned me back to the bottle when I realized I had to pretend I was in love with her….enough about me…look at this Miranda Kerr prostitute…

Posted in:Lingerie|Miranda Kerr

2008

Apr

From the Forum of the Day

2 Comments »

Forums are for losers and that’s why I have one. There’s constantly tons of action going on there thanks to the one dude who created 100 handles and talks to himself while uploading tons of shit for you to listen to, watch, get off to, or whatever the fuck you want to do with it. I figure I might as well showcase his hard work and hopefully find him a friend so that he can stop talking to himself and can start talking to other losers who like Forums….because just because you are a loser, doesn’t mean you need to be alone, the world is full of other losers and fat chicks who can link up with online and pretend you actually have friends..

Here’s some of the shit going down on the stepFORUM

———–MUSIC—————-

Pre-Release Ashley Simpson
GO

Orgazmo
GO

Interpol – C’Mere
GO

Modal Soul
GO

Everclear – So Much for the Afterglow
GO

They Might Be Giants
GO

Stevie Wonder – Innervisions
GO

Foreigner – Greatest Hits
GO

Franz Ferdinand – You Could Have it So Much Better
GO

Tony Bennett – Duets
GO

The Who by numbers
GO

The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society
GO

Dashboard Confessional Thread
GO

10,000 Maniacs – In My Tribe
GO

Daughtry (oh god kill me)
GO

———-FUNNY PICTURE————

Top 10 Signs Your Boobs are Too Big!
GO

———-GOOD TIMES WITH SLUTS————–

Big Ass
GO

Busty Marilyn From Russia
GO

Hips and Thongs
GO

MILF?
GO

Random Amatuers for you to stalk
GO

Girl of Your Dreams
GO

Leona Lewis
GO

A Very Busty Marilyn from Russia
GO

What an Ass!
GO

More From IFeelMyself.com
GO

Saskia Steele and Brianna Banks Foursome
GO

MORE Videos That Has Been Wanked By Many
GO

———–STUFF YOU CAN USE ————-

Faronics Deep Freeze
GO

Who Moved My Cheeze
GO

————-GAMES ————

Rock TOur Tycoon
GO

More Games to Play in Your Mom’s Basement
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Jenna Jameson on the View of the Day

7 Comments »

The View is porn to me, but that’s just because I can’t help but wonder whether Whoopi Goldberg’s big dick smells Elizabeth’s Republican Good Suburban girl pussy, or if Elizabeth’s Republican Good Suburban girl pussy smells like Whoopi Goldberg’s balls. It’s these mysteries of life that leave me fat on the couch confused about whether to put a shirt on to eat my can of spaghetti or not.

Today The View got a little more pornographic when Jenna Jameson showed up and ran her mouth off about how her new piece of shit movie about Zombie Strippers has anti-Bush political undertones, about how she stopped eating because she was stressed and got skin cancer from her tanning bed, a divorce, sold her company and other retarded bullshit that lead her to anorexia like a crystal meth addiction but lucky for us she’s on the road to recovery and will take over the mainstream….like she was Pamela Anderson or some shit…so watch out….

I don’t want to ruin it for you but the big highlight of the interview was when she opened up about being raised without a mother and by a dad who wasn’t ever around leading her to a life of porn, something we could have never guessed considering it’s the same fucking story of every fucking slut in the world. She’s just smart enough to market herself properly and make money while trying to fill the void from her daddy issue, while other sluts just end up with STDs and abusive relationships….So if sluts with daddy issues are reading this, you should take Jameson’s lead…..

Here are some Pics of Jenna at the Zombie Stripper Premiere Lookin’ Like She’s in Character and Ready to Take Over the Mainstream, Just As Soon as She Comes Back from the Dead and Looks Less Like a Bitch Who’s been Taken Loads on her Face for Decades and More Like a 15 Year Old Virgin…..

Posted in:Jenna Jameson|The View

2008

Apr

I wanna Fuck Leona Lewis of the Day

1 Comment »

When I first heard this song I thought it was some lesbian soundtrack shit that woulda been great for a Women’s in Song compilation that your mom would keep in her minivan that you drive because you can’t afford your own car, but the more I heard the shit, the more I wanted to remind the girl who sings it why she chose to be a lesbian by giving her my useless penis and showing her the worst sex in her life then saying something like “Yep, that’s what all the hype about penis was all about” so that she could go back to her lesbian life knowing she made the right choice without always having it chiming in the back of her head when her girlfriend’s pussy smells or when her girlfriend’s on the rag or when her girlfriend starts nagging about why she never takes her out anymore or when her girlfriend gets mad about her always forgetting to put the toilet seat down because she pees standing up or when her girlfriend complains about how she’s always out with the boys and never calls or some shit and she feels like she’s had enough of being a dyke and wants to throw in the fuckin’ towel. I feel like I’m a good asset to lesbians who are sexually confused, like the best way for them to really believe that they never want to deal with penis again….

Either way, I am posting this video because Tyra looks like a fuckin’ asshole when she mouths the words and dances around as Leona Lewis performs and I thought it was funny and that’s pretty much all it takes for me to throw something up here, while it takes me a lot of alcohol to throw up in everyday life. Both equally depressing.

Posted in:Leona Lewis|Singing

2008

Apr

Fergie Broke My Ears on Regis and Kelly of the Day

1 Comment »

I am hooked on posting morning TV clips of the day, I think it’s because I don’t have a TV and I am jonesing, but it’s also because pictures bore the fuck out of me. At least with videos, I can watch what a mess people make of themselves while trying to sing or while doing interviews and that’s a lot less interesting than just imagining their it my head while looking at a picture because in my imagination it always leads to a hardcore porno scene, but watching it play out on video is usually a lot less work for my hungover brain.

It’s kinda like when you were forced to jerk off to pics that took 4 minutes to load on the computer back in 1996, when you first got your internet and where you’d be up all hours of the night talking to 18 year old SxxyGrrl69 from New Mexico while jerking off to porn pics you found on SublimeDirectory just sitting there waiting 5 minutes for the good part of the picture with a little pussy getting fucked so that you could set the scene as it took forever to load so you could drop your load to the elaborate story you imagined…then one day discovering you can watch the sex clips instead.

Either way, here’s Fergie singing like an angel this morning and she sounds like she’s been up all night on a coke binge while singing some kind of Disney Cinderella bullshit in some kind of sleep deprived, drug induced hallucination and it brought sunshine to this glorious day but not as much sunshine as Regis brought when he pretty much apologized for the horrible noise when they came back from commercial before Kelly told him it was a Fergie sng. That’s the kind of honesty that makes Live TV funny…because even Regis knows Fergie sucks.

Bonus – Here’s Her Interview That I Didn’t Watch Because If She’s Not Naked, I’m Not Listening..

Posted in:Fergie|Painful

2008

Apr

Danity Kane Perform on Some Shitty Show of the Day

3 Comments »

I actually got hate mail for yesterday’s post on Aubrey O’Day being a D-List nothing who no one will give a fuck about when Making of the Band 4 comes out but that she’ll have a good career of being a useless whore now that guys everywhere want to fuck her.

I admit that I didn’t do much research on the band or Aubrey before making those claims, but that’s just because I have better things to do with my time, like take shits, or wait until I have to shit, or pretty much anything involving shit, because this band is shit and I have made it a point to not bother with shit that I know won’t be around in a few months, because I just can’t handle the loss once I am emotionally attached. It’s kinda the same reason I dumped my girlfriend who was diagnosed with breast cancer, even though we were madly in love and talking about marriage and starting a family back when I was bright eyed in my early 20s and working a decent job with a lot of room for career advancement despite being uneducated, this was before I got into this whole mess with the bitch I actually married. It turns out I made a mistake in walking out because my ex ended up living, landing an great job and lives the life of luxury and won’t give me the time of day, even though I found her on facebook, I guess people don’t like it when their partners walk out of them in times of terminal disease, but that doesn’t matter.

What does matter, is that this asshole goes off on me about how Danity Kane have a number 1 song, about how talented the group is and how they have staying power, so when video came in, I had no choice but to watch it and post it.

This is not talent, this is not good, it is some garbage produced with a handful of wishful thinking talentless whores who don’t deserve success but answered a casting call on a dream and just happened to be the best of the shit and that’s the equivalent of fucking the hottest retarded girl at the retard home, bitch is still handicapped just a little less handicap than the others.

The fact that this works is a testament of how the public is easily manipulated by TV but the truth is they were promoting on Kimmel, so I guess that doesn’t really count, since it’s not real TV. It’s more like the Danity Kane of late night TV. I’d still fuck Aubrey and the rest of them, but I also fucked my wife recently, so I guess that proves I’d fuck anything but in my wife’s defense, the sounds she makes when she shits sound better than Danity Kane…..I’ll stop now.

Posted in:Danity Kane|Performance

2008

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

I was asked to do an interview with a website called ShrinkTalk.net and I take all opportunities to talk to anyone willing to listen, especially when those people are psychologists who normally get paid to talk to people like me, usually by the government or penal system and not by the ad sales on their website, so I agreed.

I was drunk when I answered his questions and not sure how it came out because I don’t feel like revisiting that night but you can since it’s online.

Truth is I don’t need a shrink to tell me I’m crazy, everyone’s been telling me that all my life, but it was still a good time.

To Read My Interview With a Psychologist a ShrinkTalk.net
GO

Here are my links:

Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster is Almost Ready…Cuz Evan Rachel Woods Looks At Lot Like her Predecessor
GO

Heidi Montag’s Fake Tites Are Pretty Much All She’s Good For
GO

Here’s a Video Tribute to a Bitch Named Gloria Velez
GO

Old Miranda Kerr Nude and Topless Pics
GO

Katie Holmes Tries to Escape the Clutches of Xenu and His Earth Dwelling Evil Doer
GO

Send This Video To Your Girlfriend…If You Have One and Teach Her How To Suck Dick Better
GO

Today’s Fix of Hot Chick’s Who Would Never Give You the Time of Day
GO

The Shittiest Smelling Pokies Ever
GO

Use This and Have the Time of Your Life. Like the Song
GO

Wednesday Web Cam Fun Because It’s The Day of Whores…
GO

Some Latin Bitch Lounges Around in Her Bikini
GO

Some Video of a Hot Black Chick, Because Black Chicks Are My Thing Right Now
GO

Jeisa Chiminazzo Looks Like Jail Bait, But I Know You’re Into That, So Don’t Say I Never Gave You Anything. Perv
GO

Emma Watson is Hot and Has Control of Her Millions Finally
GO

Lohan Does Missionary
GO

Party Girls Flahing Panties and Tits
GO

Emma Watson’s 18th Birthday Tribute
GO

Jean Bell is Some Hot Black Chick Naked in the Late ’60s
GO

5 sweet asses in the surf
GO

Some 2 Year Old Toddler Forced to Smoke Weed Video – because We Live in a Sick World
GO

Listen to One of My Reader’s Song
GO

Eva Longoria Wants to Fuck Posh Spice
GO

Find Girls to Fuck Today
GO

Vaness Hudgens Lookin’ Good in Details This Month
GO

Don’t Mess With an Angry Drag Queen Unless You Don’t Know She’s a Drag Queen – Otherwise You’re Gay…
GO

More Mishaps on the Pole
GO

Goth Girl Gets Her Pussy Pierced for the Devil…
GO

Doll Heaven!
GO

Trish Status in Her Bikini
GO

The Best Porn Out There
GO

JUBBLIES
GO

A Little Young Alessandra Ambrosio
GO

Nobody Turns Down the Hoff!
GO

Well If You Ever Get Married You Can Look Forward To This
GO

Holland Has Talented Strippers
GO

Always Ask Nicely!! And Maybe a Bitch Will Show You Her Tits Like This Bid…
GO

Some Old Pics of Christina Milian, But They Are See Through and Worth It
GO

Ron Weasley is Dissing All the American Celeb Sluts and I Love Him For It
GO

The Most Amazing Flip Book Animation Ever
GO

The Dirty Mermaid
GO

Karolina Kurkova SI video
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Girl Shows Off Her Big Tits
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Apr

Katherine Heigl is Really Pretty for a Pig of the Day

5 Comments »

I saw a fat girl talking about how hard of a time she’s having with her night classes, day job and raising two kids. She was pretty much whining, as most fat people do, especially when it involves getting off their fat asses and she said something along the lines of how she’s spreading herself too thin, that’s when I chimed in and said that thin is something she definitely isn’t spreading herself and shouldn’t been too worried about anything involving thin, except maybe for being thin, because obesity is the number 1 cause of heart disease, diabetes and most recently cancer…..She didn’t find me funny.

Here are some pictures of ugly Katherine Heigl lookin’ her best because she reminds me of a fat lazy slob who doesn’t do anything other than smoke her cigarettes and make her bitch husband do all the housework while she lives off residuals from that lesbian show she was on.

BONUS – Here are some pics of Katherine Heigl actually working in her panties for some movie she’s being fat and lazy in…..

Posted in:Fat|Katherine Heigl|No Make Up

2008

Apr

Mila Kunis Did TRL of the Day

4 Comments »

I like this Mila Kunis slut who isn’t really a slut considering she’s been slamming the same dude for many years, but who I can assume is a slut by association because Culkin doesn’t do much and looks like he’s into coke-raged experimental shit in the bedroom because guys with money who don’t do much tend to fuck a lot, and since my only reference point for Culkin today is that movie Party Monster where he plays a weird homo club promoter murderer named Michael Alig, a movie that influenced all these loser hipsters to bring back stupid costumes to the dance floors. My other reference point for Culkin was a 10 year old boy who spent a lot of time with Michael Jackson and since everyone assumes MJ is some child rapist and 80% of the gay dudes I know were victims of molestation by older men when they were kids, it would only make sense that Culkin revisits men every once in a while when he’s in the mood to feel young again making Kunis at risk for HIV like all girls who date bisexuals.

The truth is that I am convinced Michael Jackson doesn’t molest kids, I am convinced he’s had his penis amputated to keep his high pitch singing and that lack of testosterone means no sex drive and his love for Peter Pan is something he can only share with young kids and we all like to relate to someone sometimes…..

Either way, Kunis was on TRL and I want to bang her.

Posted in:Mila Kunis|TRL